Do Not Disturb

Page 735

Distracted today.

I keep seeing those eyes whenever I close mine.

It's getting worst.

'You're too quiet'.

I've heard this way too many times in my life.

But I can't help this part of me I can't control.

It's who I am.

I don't feel like meeting anyone after today.

I knew it wasnt gonna work out anyway.

Just like the rest.

I'm emotionally drained.

I just need some alone time.

Do not disturb.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Drake - Do Not Disturb (Cover)

Yeah, stylin' though
Dissin', but got pictures with me smilin' though
All the things you need, you still want problems though
All the things I know, I still been silent though
Yeah, used to be at SilverCity Indigo
Used to be in lunchroom, playin' dominoes
I don't want to have to go to funerals
I gotta start sleepin' at the studio
I don't have no time to be no Romeo
All the love I need is at the rodeo
All the love I need is here at OVO, yeah
All the girls I know are there with Ian Throw
Who knows where I end up when that shit gets old?
Maybe it never gets old and that's just how it goes
Last table left in Carbone, callin' plays on a rotary phone
I take a glass, it don't mean, "Nah, don't go with me home."
Might move our annual shit to the 'Dome
I need 40, 000 people to see what I'm on
Yeah, ducked a lot of spiteful moves
I was an angry youth when I was writin' Views
Saw a side of myself that I just never knew
I'll probably self-destruct if I ever lose, but I never do
Steady doin' double shifts
1da doin' the beat and I open up like a double click
More blessings because I'm generous
Thirty-seater plane for like ten of us
Remember when I bought Sealey the fake Chanel wallet
She knew that shit was a fraud but never told me about it
Nowadays when we catchin' up we just laugh about it
Can't describe what my life is like when she asks about it
Scary whenever I close my eyes at night
Wakin' up to public statements about my private life
I can never sleep 'til morning on all my quiet nights
But you can rest assure that my mind is right
Get no sick days, I leave for like three months in six days
Never stick around to see shit change
Get lil' updates, texts in my inboxes have been poppin'
Seasons go by like I'm binge-watchin'
Went from Club Palazzo in the Bridge to Club LIV
To not even showin' up to a club 'less we doin' bis'
I can't even party while a nigga pursuin' this
Distractions will do you in, in the truest sense
Especially people that want to lecture me, and frame it like they just want the best for me
Or they check for me, whatever splits it up
So there's more for them and there's less for me
They don't know they got to be faster than me to get to me
No one's done it successfully
7AM in Germany, can't believe that they heard of me
Last verse that I gotta do is always like surgery
Always tryin' to let go of anything that'll burden me
That's the reason you can feel the tension and the urgency
Last chance I get to make sure that you take it personally
Take this shit to heart, it's always executed perfectly
If we do a song it's like takin' my kids to work with me
You overnight celebrity, you one day star
Swear I Told You that I'm in this bitch for eternity
I am a reflection of all of your insecurities
Behind closed doors, a lot of 6 God worshipping
Done talk now, 'cause there's other shit that's concernin' me
There's real ones around me
I want to make sure they learn from me
I want to see my dog, but his grandmother's his surety
He can't even dip out to see me in an emergency
My life is set around competition and currency
Takin' summer off, 'cause they tell me I need recovery
Maybe gettin' back to my regular life will humble me
I'll be back in 2018 to give you the summary
More Life

Young And Beautiful

Page 734

This song played.

As we were making love.

The haunting voice of Lana Del Ray.

The majestic chords that strung into my heart.

And the intense background that settled in.

As I gazed into those eyes of a stranger.

And my heart whispered to my conscience.

In that moment, I realised.

I didnt feel.. anything.

This isn't what I want.

Not anymore.

I am more than just a pretty face.

Will you still love me..

When I'm no longer young and beautiful?

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lana Del Rey - Young And Beautiful

 [Verse 1]

I've seen the world
Done it all
Had my cake now
Diamonds, brilliant
And Bel Air now
Hot summer nights, mid July
When you and I were forever wild
The crazy days, city lights
The way you'd play with me like a child

[Chorus]
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

[Verse 2]
I've seen the world, lit it up
As my stage now
Channeling angels in the new age now
Hot summer days, rock 'n' roll
The way you play for me at your show
And all the ways I got to know
Your pretty face and electric soul

[Chorus]
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?

[Bridge]
Dear lord, when I get to heaven
Please let me bring my man
When he comes tell me that you'll let him in
Father tell me if you can
Oh that grace, oh that body
Oh that face makes me wanna party
He's my sun, he makes me shine like diamonds

[Chorus]
Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?
Will you still love me
When I got nothing but my aching soul?
I know you will, I know you will
I know that you will
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Will you still love me when I'm no longer beautiful?
Will you still love me when I'm not young and beautiful?

Rennen

Page 733

I know I'm better than this.

I know.

It's just so hard to fight it.

This addiction that I have.

I'm ashamed.

But I'm glad I fought it today.

It's a never-ending fight.

People are dying so young these days.

I imagined myself in their shoes.

What am I doing to make my days count?

What if I'm next?

I don't know what the universe has planned.

Feels like my faith doesn't mean a thing.

There's no place to rennen.

I have to let go.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: SOHN - Rennen 

Oh Father, release me
My bones feel like stone
And I know when the game
Is our sound

It's obvious
Obvious
The universe
Universe
Is tryna tell me to let go
Tryna tell me to let go
I'm sorry 'bout
Sorry 'bout
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up

[Chorus]
And I feel some relief now I know
And I love you but I really have to go
My faith
My faith
My faith don't mean a thing
Thing
Thing
Thing
My faith
My faith
My faith don't mean a thing
Thing
Thing

Oh my love, believe me
I know what this means
And it's easy
I see no other way

It's obvious
Obvious
The universe
Universe
Is tryna tell me to let go
Tryna tell me to let go
I'm sorry 'bout
Sorry 'bout
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up
Giving up

And I feel some relief now I know
And I feel some relief now I know
And I love you but I really have to go
And I love you but I really have to go
My faith
My faith
My faith don't mean a thing
Thing
Thing
Thing
My faith
My faith
My faith don't mean a thing
Thing
Thing

Primary

Page 372

Thought I was past this.

But it just keeps haunting me.

I hate looking weak.

But I guess I'm only human.

I put on a brave front.

But that's only facade that I have.

I need to get better than this.

And that's the primary thing.

Love, Eran.

https://soundcloud.com/sohn/primary

Current Song Mood: SOHN - Primary

Give me patience to wait for another day
Help me hold my tongue, keep the rage away
Nobody seems able to make a change
And I can't believe we're not better than this

I thought we were pass this after we've grown
It's just 18 years since we did this before
For the last time history was only growing strong
We all believe we were better than this
We are not better than this

Can I wake up now?

Perfect

Page 731

There's this weird nostalgic feeling when you see a close family relative of yours get married.

Especially after the fact that they have been in your life for as long as you can remember.

It happened with a cousin about two years ago.

And it happened with my other cousin today.

Seeing her in that beautiful dress with her handsome, tall husband by her side, it felt surreal.

It was perfect.

And like before, flashbacks of my memories of her came to me as I grew up.

And how it all lead to this moment today.

Wishing her all the best in her marriage.

And hopefully, one day, I'll find my perfect soulmate too.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Ed Sheeran - Perfect

I found a love for me
Darling, just dive right in and follow my lead
Well, I found a girl, beautiful and sweet
Oh, I never knew you were the someone waiting for me
'Cause we were just kids when we fell in love
Not knowing what it was
I will not give you up this time
But darling, just kiss me slow, your heart is all I own
And in your eyes you're holding mine

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When you said you looked a mess, I whispered underneath my breath
But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonight

Well I found a woman, stronger than anyone I know
She shares my dreams, I hope that someday I'll share her home
I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets
To carry love, to carry children of our own
We are still kids, but we're so in love
Fighting against all odds
I know we'll be alright this time
Darling, just hold my hand
Be my girl, I'll be your man
I see my future in your eyes

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful
I don't deserve this, darling, you look perfect tonight

Baby, I'm dancing in the dark, with you between my arms
Barefoot on the grass, listening to our favorite song
I have faith in what I see
Now I know I have met an angel in person
And she looks perfect, I don't deserve this
You look perfect tonight

Dive

Page 730

Exhausted.

Out of luck.

Trying over and over again.

I wanna dive into that feeling.

And embrace it.

It's annoying cause I know I'm worth it.

It's just that there doesn't seem to be anyone that sticks.

Don't call me baby,

unless you mean it.

Cause I'm tired of being played.

I'm out.

Love, Eran.

Taking a time-out.

Current Song Mood: Ed Sheeran - Dive 

Maybe I came on too strong
Maybe I waited too long
Maybe I played my cards wrong
Oh just a little bit wrong
Baby I apologise for it

I could fall or I could fly
Here in your aeroplane
I could live, I could die
Hanging on the words you say
I've been known to give my all
And jumping in harder than
10,000 rocks on the lake

So don't call me baby
Unless you mean it
Don't tell me you need me
If you don't believe it
So let me know the truth
Before I dive right into you

You're a mystery
I have travelled the world
And there's no other girl like you, no one
What's your history?
Do you have a tendency to lead some people on?
Cause I heard you do

I could fall or I could fly
Here in your aeroplane
I could live, I could die
Hanging on the words you say
I've been known to give my all
And lie awake, every day
Don't know how much I can take

So don't call me baby
Unless you mean it
Don't tell me you need me
If you don't believe it
So let me know the truth
Before I dive right into you

I could fall or I could fly
Here in your aeroplane
I could live, I could die
Hanging on the words you say
I've been known to give my all
Sitting back, looking at
Every mess that I made

So don't call me baby
Unless you mean it
Don't tell me you need me
If you don't believe it
So let me know the truth
Before I dive right into you
Before I dive right into you
Before I dive right into you

Runnin'

Page 729

Just when I thought I've figured everything out at the age of 22... I don't.

That realisation hit me hard today.

And it's been in my head the whole day.

The future is so uncertain right now.

I feel like runnin' away from everything.

But I can't.

There's nowhere to hide.

I gotta keep going on.

Keep fighting.

It'll work out.

Eventually.

Hopefully.

Love, Eran.

If I lose myself, I lose it all.

Current Song Mood: Naughty Boy Ft Beyonce, Arrow Benjamin - Runnin'

[Beyoncé:]
These four lonely walls have changed the way I feel
The way I feel, I'm standing still
And nothing else matters now, you're not here
So where are you? I've been calling you, I'm missing you

Where else can I go? Where else can I go?
Chasing you, chasing you
Memories turn to dust, please don't bury us
I got you, I got you

Runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'
Runnin', runnin', runnin'
Ain't runnin' from myself no more
Together we'll win it all
I ain't runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'
Runnin', runnin', runnin'
Ain't runnin' from myself no more
I'm ready to face it all
If I lose myself, I lose it all

[Arrow Benjamin:]
I've outrun the fears that chased, they're standing still
I'm running still, I'm running still
And every voice that cried inside my head, forever dry
Forever dry, I've drowned in lies (oh oh ohh)

Where else can I go? And where else can I go?
Chasing you, chasing you (uh uhh)

[Arrow Benjamin & Beyoncé:]
Runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'
Runnin', runnin', runnin'
Ain't runnin' from myself no more
Together we'll win it all
I ain't runnin', runnin', runnin', runnin'
Runnin', runnin', runnin'
Ain't runnin' from myself no more
I'm ready to face it all
If I lose myself, I lose it all (runnin, runnin, runnin, runnin)
If I lose myself, I lose it all (runnin, runnin, runnin, runnin)
If I lose myself, I lose it all (runnin, runnin, runnin, runnin)
If I lose myself, I lose it all (runnin, runnin, runnin, runnin)

Waterfall

Page 728

There's certainly more to life, isn't it.

The beauty and wonders of it.

I feel like I have a purpose that's yet to be fulfilled.

I might know what that is.

That strong unexplainable urge.

All I know for now is,

I'm in your waterfall.

Lets flow to the right direction.

Lead the way.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Stargate Ft Pink, Sia - Waterfall

[Sia:]
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall

[P!nk:]
Oh, I'm in the jungle now
You've been seeking, I've been hiding out
Use your love, it scares me so deep down
You may find me, 'cause my heart beats loud, so loud
It beats fast, in the places where you touched me last
I can feel the burn my skin, it has
But the return of your beloved hands, hands

[Sia:]
I've lost control
I paddle, but you're too strong
But I gotta trust your flow
'Cause boy, I'm in your waterfall (waterfall)
Oh, I've lost control
And babe, it's a relief to know
I got you keeping me afloat
When I'm in your waterfall

[Sia:]
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
[P!nk:]
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall

[Sia:]
Baby, you're my oxygen
When I cannot find my way on Earth
You know I can be when I hold on
Even when the rapid's strong

[P!nk:]
I've lost control
I paddle, but you're too strong
But I gotta trust your flow
'Cause babe, I'm in your waterfall ([Sia:] waterfall)
But I've lost control
And babe, it's a relief to know
I got you keeping me afloat
When I'm in your waterfall

[Sia:]
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
[P!nk:]
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall

[Sia:]
Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh-oh
[P!nk:]
Waterfall
[Sia:]
Oh, oh, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh-oh
Oh, oh, oh-oh
[P!nk:]
Waterfall

[Sia:]
I've lost control
I paddle, but you're too strong
But I gotta trust your flow
'Cause boy, I'm in your waterfall ([P!nk:] yeah, yeah)
Oh, I've lost control
And babe, it's a relief to know
I got you keeping me afloat
When I'm in your waterfall

[Sia:]
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall ([P!nk:] yeah, yeah)
I'm in your waterfall ([P!nk:] I'm in your waterfall)
I'm in your waterfall ([P!nk:] I'm in your waterfall)
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
[P!nk:]
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
I'm in your waterfall
[Sia:]
I'm in your waterfall

Beauty And The Beast

Page 727

Pretty chill day today.

With the morning gloomy rainy weather.

And the comfort of my green jacket.

Army cohesions are always the best.

It's nice to take a break and enjoy with your friends.

Caught 'Beauty and the Beast' today.

Tbh, I've never been familiar with this fairytale.

But the fact that Emma Watson was in it, singing her angelic voice, I was down for it. <3

The story was pretty draggy in a way, as there was a lot of singing involved.

Trust me, my friends weren't into musicals lmao.

But I enjoyed the depth that it touched.

The fact that the Beast was kinder than the 'handsome prince', whom eventually became the biggest douchebag in the movie.

I guess it works that way in life. Very relatable.

Just because you have good looks, doesn't mean you have privilege to everything

Oh well, who doesn't love a good happy ending.

Here's hoping someday, my Fairytale will come.

Love, Eran.

Who knows, it may very well be a Beast.

Current Song Mood: John Legend, Ariana Grande - Beauty & The Beast

[Ariana Grande:]
Tale as old as time
True as it can be
Barely even friends
Then somebody bends
Unexpectedly

[Ariana Grande & John Legend:]
Just a little change
Small to say the least
Both a little scared
Neither one prepared
Beauty and the Beast

[Ariana Grande & John Legend:]
Ever just the same
Ever a surprise
Ever as before
And ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Ever just the same
And ever a surprise
Ever as before
And ever just as sure
As the sun will rise

Tale as old as time
Tune as old as song
Bitter-sweet and strange
Finding you can change
Learning you were wrong

Certain as the sun
Certain as the sun
Rising in the east
Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

Tale as old as time
Song as old as rhyme
Beauty and the Beast

Beauty and...
Beauty and the Beast

Judas

Page 726

Gotta say, this weekend was damn productive.

Got to accomplish a lot of things.

Usually I don't plan them.

Because well, my circle of friends has grown smaller.

But it's fine.

I'm content with how things are.

As lonely as it gets.

Been insecure with myself lately.

I gotta step it up.

I wonder..

Is that how Judas felt?

Love, Eran.

Too numb to feel.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Judas

Hey, hey, hey, hey

Never came around to make this house into a home
Put you on a pedestal and set you on a throne
I found all your skeletons, your closet full of bones
I see you take pride in bloody eyes, I know you're stoned

I can hear resentment in your tone
Said I'd never make it on my own
Maybe I'm just better off alone, too numb to deal
Too numb to feel the knife in my back

Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey
Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey

I can see you coming from about a mile away
And all the mystique of your pretentiousness is fading
Reminiscing all the backwards ways you made me stay
Begging me for thread, I think you need to change your brain

I can hear resentment in your tone (Oh)
Said I'd never make it on my own (Oh)
Maybe I'm just better off alone, too numb to deal
Too numb to feel the knife in my back

Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey
Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey

Don't need you to make an effort, this should be effortless
Nothing can last forever and you're such a pessimist
I was your prized possession, and who was your exorcist?
Thought you was heaven-sent, you left for the hell of it

I can hear resentment in your tone
Said I'd never make it on my own
Maybe I'm just better off alone, too numb to deal
Too numb to feel the knife in my back

Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey
Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey
Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey
Judas, hey
Oh, oh, Judas, hey

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

Liability

Page 725

It's always nostalgic to see batches go.

This is like.. my 4th batch?

It's like watching my babies grow up.

And now they're gonna go fly on their own.

Feels so weird..

Especially when we've been on exercises and overseas trips together.

It's nice to be a part of it.

Hope they continue to make a difference out there.

You guys are my liability.

Sometimes I wish it was more than this.

But it ends here.

A boy can dream...

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lorde - Liability

One, two

Baby really hurt me
Crying in the taxi
He don't wanna know me
Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm
Says it was poison
So I guess I'll go home
Into the arms of the girl that I love
The only love I haven't screwed up
She's so hard to please
But she's a forest fire
I do my best to meet her demands
Play at romance, we slow dance
In the living room, but all that a stranger would see
Is one girl swaying alone
Stroking her cheek

They say, "You're a little much for me
You're a liability
You're a little much for me"
So they pull back, make other plans
I understand, I'm a liability
Get you wild, make you leave
I'm a little much for
E-a-na-na-na, everyone

The truth is I am a toy
That people enjoy
'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore
And then they are bored of me
I know that it's exciting
Running through the night, but
Every perfect summer's
Eating me alive until you're gone
Better on my own

They say, "You're a little much for me
You're a liability
You're a little much for me"
So they pull back, make other plans
I understand, I'm a liability
Get you wild, make you leave
I'm a little much for
E-a-na-na-na, everyone

They're gonna watch me
Disappear into the sun
You're all gonna watch me
Disappear into the sun