Floating

Page 1032

Cant believe it.

I made it through.

I survived.

And surprisingly...

I enjoyed it.

Same place..

Familiar faces.

But a different mindset.

An open one.

The chemicals in my brain that got me so relaxed.

I can't explain it.

I just.. let it take over me.

I was in a different zone.

Higher.

Floating.

On cloud nine.

Shit.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Alina Baraz Ft Khalid - Floating

[Khalid & Alina Baraz:]
2am and I'm still breathing
Staring at my thoughts
Floating up to the ceiling
I'm swimming in everything you said
I'm thinking 'bout jumping in instead
I've got you skinny dipping
Deep inside my head

[Alina Baraz:]
It's in the way you see, you know what I need
It's in the way that you're holding me
Bringing me close
You know that I won't let go, you've got me on repeat
You've got me in a dream
I let my worries go soon as you come through the door
Thinking 'bout what it'd be like to be yours

[Khalid & Alina Baraz:]
Every time you move
You're liking like a dozen
I think that you could have it (Ooh ooh)
Everything you do
I want to do it with you
Don't ever want to miss you

[Khalid:]
Woah, oh
[Khalid & Alina Baraz:]
You do, you do, you do
You do, you do, you do, you do

[Khalid:]
It's in the way you touch me
I don't know much about love
But I'll keep on checking my phone
To see when you're home
Or when you want me to pull up
We're one in the same
You got me caught in a daze
I love it when you say my name
All my love is your's

[Khalid & Alina Baraz:]
I'm swimming in everything you said
I'm thinking 'bout jumping in instead?
I've got you skinny dipping
Deep inside my head

Every time you move
You're liking like a dozen
I think that you could have it (Ooh ooh)
Everything you do
I want to do it with you
Don't ever want to miss you

[Khalid:]
Woah, oh
[Khalid & Alina Baraz:]
You do, you do, you do
You do, you do, you do, you do

[Alina Baraz:]
2am and I'm still breathing
Staring at my thoughts
Floating up to the ceiling

Rescue Me

Page 1031

What am I to do?

You just reappeared back in my life.

And you're still.. the same.

(June 2017 posts)

We're meeting tomorrow somehow.

And I don't know if that's a hundred steps backwards.

Is it?

You pour me your sob stories.

While I'm still thinking about the past.

The things you did.

That I couldnt accept.

Is it against my morals?

We shall see.

I hope I can find a way out of this one.

..

Just like last time.

Rescue me.

From my demons..

Love, Eran. 

Current Song Mood: Thirty Seconds To Mars - Rescue Me

Whatever you do don't ever play my game
Too many years being the king of pain
Ya gotta lose it all if you wanna take control
Sell yourself to save your soul

Rescue me
From the demons in my mind
Rescue me
From the lovers in my life
Rescue me
From the demons in my mind
Rescue me
Rescue me
Rescue me

Rescue me...

Whatever you do don't ever lose your faith
The devil's quick to love lost in pain
Better to say yes than never know, ooh...
Sell yourself to save your soul

Rescue me
From the demons in my mind
Rescue me
From the lovers in my life
Rescue me
From the demons in my mind
Rescue me
Rescue me
Rescue me

Rescue me...

Sell yourself to save your soul (you gotta...) ooh
Sell yourself to save your soul (you gotta...) ooh
Sell yourself to save your soul (you gotta...) ooh
Sell yourself to save your soul

Rescue me
From the demons in my mind
Rescue me
From the lovers in my life
Rescue me
From the demons in my mind
Rescue me
Rescue me
Rescue me
...

Privilege

Page 1030

I hate it.

All these.. bad thoughts..

In my head.

Toxic.

Felt like.. I was pushed to the edge.

The things I felt.

The things I wanted to do.

Felt like I was gonna lose it.

But I.. snapped myself out of it.

Sucked it up.

To make it all better again.

You're lucky.

Your kind...

The fucking privilege you have.

Don't you dare tell me you're suffering

Cause I'm just sick & tired of passing strangers.

Who are on the better end.

Who judge me for who I am.

You.. don't know what i've been through.

Yeah.. enjoy your privileged life.

All I need are two red pills,

To take the blues away.

Love, Eran.

Blues away....

Current Song Mood: The Weeknd - Privilege

Enjoy your privileged life
'Cause I'm not gonna hold you through the night
We said our last goodbyes
So let's just try to end it with a smile

And I don't wanna hear that you are suffering
You are suffering no more
'Cause I held you down when you were suffering
You were suffering

Lose your way, way, way
I got two red pills to take the blues away
Blues away, way, way
I got two red pills to take the blues away

And I'ma fuck the pain away, and I know I'll be okay
They said our love is just a game, I don't care what they say
But I'ma drink the pain away, I'll be back to my old ways
And I got two red pills to take the blues away, oh

I don't wanna hear that no more, no more
No more, no more
I don't wanna hear that no more

Hurt You

Page 1029

I don't know how to feel.

But all I wonder is..

Was it real?

Did I.. do that?

I don't even remember.

It felt like such a long time ago.

Or maybe.. I don't want to know.

Cause I know for sure that..

I hurt you.

I broke you.

But what you didnt know was that.. 

I was broken too.

Relationship's my enemy.

So stay away from me..

Cause I dont wanna hurt anyone anymore.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: The Weeknd Ft Gesaffelstein - Hurt You

And now I know relationship's my enemy
So stay away from me
I'm warning you
You try to fill the void with every man you meet
'Cause you're upset with me
I'm warning you

'Cause all the nights you slept alone dryin' your eyes
And all the nights you thought about taking your life
'Cause if it's love you want again, don't waste your time
But if you call me up, I'm fucking you on sight

I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you

When you're with him, you close your eyes and think of me
Just call me up again
I'll make you weak
Girl, I'll come to put myself between your lips
Not between your heart
Can't you see?

That all the nights we slept alone, dryin' your eyes ('Cause of me, baby)
And all the nights you thought about taking your life ('Cause of me, baby)
'Cause if it's love you want again, don't waste your time (Don't you waste)
If you call me up, I'm fucking you on sight

I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you
I don't wanna hurt you

I don't want
I don't want
I don't want
I don't want
I don't wanna, baby
I don't wanna, baby
I don't

Clearly

Page 1028

I took an important step today.

Cutting out the toxic parts of me.

And I've never felt more rejuvenated. 

I see things... a little more clearly now.

And I hope it stays this way.

For the sake of my health.

My mind.

My self.

I'm gonna.. make it out.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Grace Vanderwaal - Clearly

There's a world outside my door
I don't know it anymore
I'm gonna stay here now
I'm gonna stay here now
Close the curtains, cut the light
A bunch of darkness in my mind
It's gonna take me down
It's gonna take me down

All the roads I've been before
Same mistakes always got me shakin'
And all the signs I once ignored
In my denial, I didn't want to face them

I can see clearly now
The rain has gone
I accept all the things that I cannot change
Gone are the dark clouds
The dawn has come
And it's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day

There's a world outside my door
I forced my feet down to the floor
I'm gonna make it out
I'm gonna make it out
Take a breath and say a prayer
Find the strength in my despair
It's not gonna take me down
It's not gonna take me down

All the roads I've been before
Same mistakes always got me shakin'
And all the signs I once ignored
In my denial, I didn't want to face them

I can see clearly now
The rain has gone
I accept all the things that I cannot change
Gone are the dark clouds
The dawn has come
And it's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day

All the pain in my sorrow
Won't change today, only ruin tomorrow
All the pain in my sorrow
Won't change today, only ruin tomorrow

I can see clearly now
The rain has gone
I accept all the things that I cannot change
Gone are the dark clouds
The dawn has come
And it's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day
It's gonna be a bright, bright sunshiny day

idfc

Page 1027

Don't know how it felt tonight..

When...

I saw you.

And we made eye contact.

And I hesitantly sat beside you.

And I tried to pretend.

To pretend so hard.

That you're not there.

But you were.

You glanced at me.

You knew it was me.

Yet you didnt acknowledge me.

Pretending you were tired.

Closing your eyes.

I brushed it off.

Tried focusing on my own company.

But it was just so... hard.

I guess I'll keep.. pretending.

Like idfc.

I really dont.

Not anymore.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Blackbear - idfc

Tell me pretty lies,
Look me in the face,
Tell me that you love me,
Even if it's fake,
'Cause I don't fucking care, at all

You've been out all night,
I don't know where you've been,
You're slurring all your words,
Not making any sense,
But I don't fucking care, at all

'Cause I have hella feelings for you,
I act like I don't fucking care,
Like they ain't even there,
'Cause I have hella feelings for you,
I act like I don't fucking care,
'Cause I'm so fucking scared

I'm only a fool for you,
And maybe you're too good for me,
I'm only a fool for you,
But I don't fucking care, at all, oh

(Ooh yeah)

Tell me pretty lies,
Look me in the face,
Tell me that you love me,
Even if it's fake,
'Cause I don't fucking care, at all

You've been out all night,
I don't know where you've been,
You're slurring all your words,
Not making any sense,
But I don't fucking care, at all

'Cause I have hella feelings for you,
I act like I don't fucking care,
Like they ain't even there,
'Cause I have hella feelings for you,
I act like I don't fucking care,
'Cause I'm so fucking scared

I'm only a fool for you,
And maybe you're too good for me,
I'm only a fool for you,
But I don't fucking care, at all, oh

(Ooh yeah)

You

Page 1026

Cuddles.

Kisses.

Teases.

Things that... sets me off.

Make me high.

Contented.

Happy.

Yet strangely.

Melancholic.

I live for that.

Didnt know how much I...

Missed it.

I felt.. comfortable.

But the reality of it is..

We're nothing but.. strangers.

Me..

And.

You.

Love, Eran.

All I see is...

Current Song Mood: Alextbh Ft Sam Rui - You

Days I spent with you don't seem so long
But it is just enough to keep me warm

Something about you makes me gravitate to you right back
And now I don't even wanna count the times that lie ahead
I miss the way you lay your hands on me
And now all I see is

You
Oh I see you
Oh I see you

I try to love somebody else the way I did you
Still did me no good
Only got space for one
I try to carry on
But I still fall back into
It's you I can't outrun

Something about the way you kiss keeps pulling me right back
And every time I see you my mind
It goes out of track
I miss the way you land so soft upon my lips
Don't want any other
All I see is

You
Oh I see you
Oh I see you

I see you
I see you
Only you

Crave You

Page 1025

Something in me is stirring..

I always tell my self.

You deserve better.

But I can't.

I won't.

I crave you.

And your touch.

And your love-making.

And you're... you're just my type.

Even though we're complete strangers.

Do I fall easily these days?

Or is it.. just my fragile heart.

.. Heh.

You're no good for me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Robinson - Crave You

There was a time in my life
It was lighter
And better
When you came around
Made me forget
What I was so sad about
Sad about everything
Just like that
You've taken all that you had given back

And now I can see
You're no good for me
Why do I feel like I need you?
Locked in sweet mysery
Somehow I still want you
You do not care for me
But I crave you
I crave you
I crave you
I crave you

I can't help thinking of you
Situations in my head
Do nothing for me
Lead me back to a dead end
And I.. try to leave you behind
Just like that
I lose the love
I thought I had
Found in you

And now I can see
You're no good for me
Why do I feel like I need you
Locked in sweet mysery
Somehow I still want you
You do not care for me
But I crave you
I crave you
I crave you
I crave you

And you do not care for me
You do not care for me
And you never
And you never will

And now I can see
You're no good for me
Why do I feel like I need you
Locked in sweet mysery
Somehow I still want you
You do not care for me
But I crave you
I crave you
I crave you
I crave you
I crave you

Finesse

Page 1024

Hello April.

I feel good.

Sexy.

Confident.

Been a while since I'm comfortable with my own skin.

And you just need a fruitful.. encounter.

To validate that.

It was a really good one. 

I hope you enjoyed it just as much as I did.

We're both.. drippin' in finesse.

And baby, you're so damn fine.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Bruno Mars Ft Cardi B - Finesse

[Cardi B:]
Drop top Porsche (Porsche), Rollie' on my wrist (wrist)
Diamonds up and down my chain (aha)
Cardi B, straight stuntin', can't tell me nothin'
Bossed up and I changed the game (you see me?)
It's my big Bronx boogie, got all them girls shook (shook)
My big, fat ass got all them boys hooked (hooked)
I went from dollar bills, now we poppin' rubber bands (ha)
Bruno sang to me, while I do my money dance like ayy
Flexin' on the 'Gram like ayy
Hit the Lil' Jon, okay (okay), okay (okay)
Oh yeah, we drippin' in finesse and getting paid, ow

[Bruno Mars:]
Ooh, don't we look good together?
There's a reason why they watch all night long (all night long)
Yeah, I know we'll turn heads forever (forever)
So tonight, I'm gonna show you off

When I'm walkin' with you
I watch the whole room change
Baby, that's what you do
No, my baby, don't play
Blame it on my confidence
Oh, blame it on your measurements
Shut that shit down on sight
That's right

We out here drippin' in finesse
It don't make no sense
Out here drippin' in finesse
You know it, you know it
We out here drippin' in finesse
It don't make no sense
Out here drippin' in finesse
You know it, you know it

Now slow it down for me, baby (slow it down now)
'Cause I love the way it feels when we grind (we grind)
Yeah, our connection's so magnetic on the floor
Nothing can stop us tonight

When I'm walkin' with you
I watch the whole room change
Baby, that's what you do
No, my baby, don't play
Blame it on my confidence
Oh, blame it on your measurements
Shut that shit down on sight
That's right

We out here drippin' in finesse
It don't make no sense
Out here drippin' in finesse
You know it, you know it
We out here drippin' in finesse
It don't make no sense
Out here drippin' in finesse
You know it, you know it

[Bruno Mars and Cardi B:]
Fellas, grab your ladies if your lady fine
Tell her she the one, she the one for life (woo)
Ladies, grab your fellas and let's do this right (do this right)
If you're on one like me in mind (ow!)
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on
Don't it feel so good to be us? (ayy)
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on (yeah)
Girl, we got it goin' on
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on (hey)
Don't it feel so good to be us, ayy? (feels so good on you)
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on

[Bruno Mars:]
We out here drippin' in finesse (we drippin' on them)
It don't make no sense
Out here drippin' in finesse
You know it, you know it
We out here drippin' in finesse with my baby
It don't make no sense
Out here drippin' in finesse
You know it, you know it (yeah, you know we got it goin' on)

[Cardi B and Bruno Mars:]
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on
Don't it feel so good to be us, ayy?
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on
You know it, you know it
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on
Girl, we got it
Don't it feel so good to be us, ayy?
Yeah, we got it goin' on, got it goin' on
You know it, you know it