Imagining What To Do

Page 1331

Don't even know.. where to begin.

Can't even explain my feelings lately.

All this hurt.

I'm just letting it kill me.

Slowly.

Lying in bed, imagining what to do.

How to fix this.

Us.

It's been a really tough month.

One that I'm actually glad has passed.

It'll be okay..

Eventually.

I hope.

That, is all I have.

Love, Eran

Current Song Mood: Helado Negro - Imagining What To Do

[Verse 1]
I'll sing you this part
When we go to sleep
Winter will be gone tomorrow
Just lay inside your dream

[Verse 2]
'Cause it's cold
And hard to remember what the sun feels like
And it's okay to cry
When it feels like it won't ever come back

[Verse 3]
But we know
How melting into summer
Just to make it go
Go slow
We'll stay under the covers
Until there's no snow
Please go

[Verse 4]
The two of us draw smiles
Laughing, half a whistling slowly
We wait softly
Looking for the sun to come back tomorrow
I'll see you waiting for the glow again
[Verse 5]
The two of us draw smiles
Laughing, half a whistling slowly
We wait softly
Looking for the sun to come back tomorrow
I'll see you waiting for the glow again

Something Like This

Page 1330

Spent the last 3 days with my love.

And I couldn't ask for anything else.

I treasure every minute I spend with you.

And I'm just looking forward for the next.

We really are a married couple.

:)

Being in your arms today.

In our therapy light.

Listening to Olafur...

It really brought back warm, nostalgia from when we first met.

It makes me.. want to hold on to you even tighter.

Deep down, it's something we've both wanted.

Something like this.

Someone, like you.

''What we have is sacred.''

Thank you.. just for existing in my life.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Gordi - Something Like This

Take my eyes, but take it slow
And my demise is finding home
And someone's questions can you know
That people are looking for something
They think they lost long ago

And when the heat blows over from my head now
And I see you're holding all of me together now
For all those hours I waited for nothing
I wanted something like this

Yeah, I got burned where I stand
But it was harder then than now to understand
How to bleed until you're empty, how to open what is full
But I hope I know when I am capable of loving you

And when the heat blows over from my head now
And I see you're holding all of me together now
For all those hours I waited for nothing
I wanted something like this
I wanted something like this

I wanted someone
I, I wanted something like this
I wanted something
I, I wanted something like this
I wanted someone
I, I wanted something like this

And when the heat blows over from my head now
And I see you're holding all of me together now
For all those hours I waited for nothing
I wanted something like this
I wanted something like this

I wanted someone
I, I wanted something like this
I wanted something
I, I wanted something like this
I wanted someone
I, I wanted something like this
I wanted something like this

Indifferent

Page 1329 

Just a quiet, lazy day.

Indoors.

With you.

Just.. resting.

Recovering.

From a tiring week.

I hope you feel better soon.

I know you're going through something.

You seem more quieter than usual today.

Sleeping a little more than usual lately.

Indifferent.

Whatever it is,

I'm always here for you, okay?

I love you, with all my heart.

& I'm looking forward to spend all my time with you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Willaris K, Gordi - INDIFFERENT

Don't you know that I'm not sleeping
Even though we're always tired
Evidence my mind's deleting
This cannot be rewired

The discomfort in all that we know
We've been burdened by our self control
Did you hear any words that I wrote

I am indifferent
I am indifferent
I am indifferent to you

Do I feel like I have known you
As we lie here, bodies cold
Like a fear I have outgrown you
A proposition we were sold

All the stillness in all that repeats
Seems to surface and wash over me
And I give you no apology

I am indifferent
I am indifferent
I am indifferent
I am indifferent
I am indifferent
I am indifferent
I am indifferent to you

Happy Times

Page 1328 

It's been another tiring week.

Emotionally & physically.

Cant seem to catch a proper break.

But at least there were lots of meaningful catch-ups.

Met up with my Poly friends for supper yesterday.

After 2 whole years.

So nice to see how everyone is going bout their lives.

Gossips and laughters as usual.

Happy times.

Everyone also has.. their own struggles.

And it's kind of comforting to know that you're not alone.

We are always so quick to judge, aren't we?

Until we know the whole story.

Makes you.. want to be a better human being.

See you guys around.

Take care.

Till next time.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Finding Hope - Happy Times 

My baby's gone, yeah
But I know she's lookin' at
Her phone, tonight
Her phone, tonight
My baby's gone
But I know she's missin' all
Our happy times
And so do I

I miss my days with you
And things we'd do
Love, it felt so new
It always did with you, mmh
I'm glad that we're still cool
But I fall in and
Out of love with you
So what you wanna do?

'Cause I feel it in my bones
Enough to know what I want
Baby, I want ya
And I'll spend my time
Just tryna make you smile

My baby's gone, yeah
But I know she's lookin' at
Her phone, tonight
Her phone, tonight
My baby's gone
But I know she's missin' all
Our happy times
And so do I

You know that we've been through
Too much to say
Too much to throw away
So much more I'd take

'Cause I feel it in my bones
Enough to know what I want
Baby, I want ya
And I'll spend my time
Just tryna make you smile

My baby's gone, yeah
But I know she's lookin' at
Her phone, tonight
Her phone, tonight
My baby's gone
But I know she's missin' all
Our happy times
And so do I

Physical

Page 1327

I never thought I'd do it.

But I did.

Being honest with you took all the courage in me.

I didn't want to jeopardise anything.

After all, our brotherhood has always been this strong.

Even after all these years.

You're my buddy.

The one who's always had my back.

Since the army days.

I'm glad you... could accept me.

For me.

Without judging me.

That's all that matters.

Thank you.

For being there.

It's been 5 years.

And we're still the same short-legged buddies.

Hahaha.

Time isn't slowing down.

Let's work.. towards our future.

Thanks for always having my back.

I am always here, too.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Dua Lipa - Physical 

Common love isn't for us
We created something phenomenal
Don't you agree?
Don't you agree?
You got me feeling diamond rich
Nothing on this planet compares to it
Don't you agree?
Don't you agree?

Who needs to go to sleep, when I got you next to me?

All night I'll riot with you
I know you got my back and you know I got you
So come on, come on, come on
Let's get physical
Lights out, follow the noise
Baby keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice
So come on, come on, come on
Let's get physical

Adrenaline keeps on rushing in
Love the simulation we're dreaming in
Don't you agree?
Don't you agree?
I don't wanna live another life
Cuz this one's pretty nice
Living it up

Who needs to go to sleep, when I got you next to me?

All night I'll riot with you
I know you got my back and you know I got you
So come on, come on, come on
Let's get physical
Lights out, follow the noise
Baby keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice
So come on, come on, come on
Let's get physical

Hold on just a little tighter
Come on
Hold on, tell me if you're ready
Come on
Baby keep on dancing
Let's get physical
Hold on just a little tighter
Come on
Hold on, tell me if you're ready
Come on
Baby keep on dancing
Let's get physical

All night I'll riot with you
I know you got my back and you know I got you
So come on, come on, come on
Let's get physical
Lights out, follow the noise
Baby keep on dancing like you ain't got a choice
So come on, come on, come on
Let's get physical

(Physical, Physical)
Let's get physical
(Physical, Physical)
Physical
(Physical, Physical)
Let's get physical
(Physical, Physical)
Come on
Phy-phy-phy-physical

Calm Down

Page 1326

Feeling a certain kind of way today.

Like a random wave of depression & loneliness just hit me out of nowhere.

I'm not sure what it is, but I hope it passes.

Been in bed since I got from work.

Been listening to Eden's new album 'No Future'.

It's like a beautiful, trippy dream.

So cohesive.

So pretty.

It makes me.. calm down.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: EDEN - Calm Down

Reflections
Of my dash aligning stars over shoulder
Inflections
Tell me you don't really mean what you say
That you were in love, love, love
(I don't want it, baby, I keep falling)
You're screaming and bursting heads
Breathing corrupted air (Tell me I'm back at it since)
Your cigarettes are going out, dear
(Help me down, I can't sleep)
Mayfair and lip fillers
Heartbreak and coke dealers
You were in love, love, love (It's cold feet)
But since you're on your way out
Living fast, I capsize amazed now
Leave a message when you go
(You leaving, leave me out, me out)
I, I had a dream that you wanted me
I still see you with my eyes closed
I don't think you understand how brilliant you burned
Does your past feel complete now I'm here?
Versions of another version you've seen
When I calm down
I'll be long gone

Just stop

Picture Perfect

Page 1325

Picture perfect.

As we laid snuggled up.

Lazing our Sunday away.

In the newly-cooled air-conditioned room.

Perfect.

You said how easy it was to sleep with me around.

I smiled.

I just think we are.. meant to be.

Always will be.

Not gonna see you for 4 days, but it will be alright.

Love you so much. 

Sweet dreams.

x

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: UMI - Picture Perfect

Wonder, do you ever wonder
Who I would be in the future
Now that you're gone

It's too late for you to come back, babe
I already made my mind up
The damage is done

What if you could see me now
Figuring everything out
Would it make you wish you'd never left

See you runnin' back fast now
What's the point if all we do is fight now?
Wasn't looking for you in a right crowd
No more words baby, better pipe down
Right now, baby

Ooh, I wish that love ain't hurt me like this
I know that this the part we can't fix
Maybe it's the pain that we miss
That's why you

Wonder, do you ever wonder
Who I would be in the future
Now that you're gone

It's too late for you to come back, babe
I already made my mind up
The damage is done

What if you could see me now
Figuring everything out
Would it make you wish you'd never left

What if you could see me now
Would you tell me that you're proud
Would it make you wish I'm yours again

No more tears
No more tears for you
You disappeared
Left me here in two
I tried my best
Tried my best to be everything
Still you left
You're too picture perfect, babe
Picture perfect, babe

The Breach

Page 1324

It's been another long week.

Now it's finally time to rest up for the weekends.

Had a nice supper with my partner today.

And concluded a season of 'Spinning Out'.

A show about family, mental health, pain and trauma.

Something that everybody goes through.

It ended on a really positive note.

With this song playing.

So beautiful..

I guess that's all you need in your life.

Love.

It helps you heal.

And gets you through life.

And that's.. what keeps you going.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Dustin Tebbutt - The Breach

We're all scared of trenches
And grow weak at knees
I want you to know that
If all you've ever wanted was a dream
Then you know that I can't help you
But did I show you love
In the author on my face
Cause you know you left a hollow
Where your body cut an alcove
Did I show you love
Cause the silence never stayed
It's a breach I'll never cover
It's a breach I'll never cover
You happened out the back door
Laying bare this need
Oh, you opened up this vessel
And gather all the quivers
That never got to fly
And a one and only cipher
But did I show you love
In the author on my face
Cause you know you left a hollow
Where your body cut an alcove
Did I show you love
Cause the silence never stayed
It's a breach I'll never cover
It's a breach I'll never cover

Stay

Page 1323

Happy Valentines Day, love.

So many things to be thankful for today.

Woke up with great news.

That my song 'No Good' finally got on a playlist.

New Music Friday????

WHAAAT. That's amazing. 

I never thought it would happen.

It's really helped expose my music to others so far.

Significant amount of people are giving it a listen.

I'm just thankful that I even have the chance to put out my own music.

And I'm thankful for you too.

Always.

Being in your arms again after a few days, which felt like forever.

I am always myself when I'm with you.

You bring out the best in me.

Talked a bit of our future plans.

And about moving in together someday.

Woah, feels surreal.

But I am excited to make this happen.

We will work on it, together. 

I am here.. to stay.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: OTR, WYNNE - Stay

[VERSE 1:]
I wonder how you feel tonight
Waiting on the line for so long
The things we said are circling now
So stop the car and cut the lights
No escaping from the road behind
The path ahead goes
Left or right

[Chorus:]
Stay
Tell me all the words I cannot speak
Tell me how to make you see
Tell me how I even begin
Stay
Tell me how to say what’s unsaid
When silence trips us instead
One word could start us again
Just one word could start us again

[VERSE 2:]
So if there’s nothing left to fight
We stand alone no place to hide out
Maybe just a memory now
Cos we crossed a line when it felt right
Promises of endless nights
But you could never stay for long
[Chorus:]
Stay
Tell me all the words I cannot speak
Tell me how to make you see
Tell me how I even begin
Stay
Tell me how to say what’s unsaid
When silence trips us instead
One word could start us again
Just one word could start us again

Better Times

Page 1322

:DDDDDDD

Fuck I'm so tired.

Sooo tired of this shitttt.

But what can we do right?

Just suck it up and woOoOork.

Through the fatigue and never-ending rush, there were some pretty light moments as well.

Laughs and jokes made by my patients made my day.

I guess you just need to find the good in the bad.

This is just a pinch of what other frontliners are going through.

Hopefully it'll be a better day tomorrow.

And hopefully... this goes away soon.

I'm not sure how long I can take.

We're already halfway through the week. 

But it feels like forever.

Here's to.. better times.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lincoln Lim - Better Times

I keep my eyes wide open hope that I could find all of the time that I lost in love
I walk through cities knowing only how to get from a bottle of wine to a broken heart
And all the songs all the songs say
Love don't give a damn love is blind
I don't care I don't care
All I know is I will be just fine
Cause I will always be
In your memory for you to find
But if you come around
I wont be there but I hope you're fine

To the better times

You know you're still around me in the coffee cup stains on my couch and our old guitar
And I can't help feeling that it don't sound the same anymore but it's over now
Cause all the songs all the songs said
Love don't give a damn love is blind
They don't care they don't care
But I know that I will be just fine
Cause I will always be
In your memory for you to find
But if you come around
I wont be there but I hope you're fine

To the better times

To the broken beds
And the birthday cakes
To the dirty plates
In the bathroom sink
To the dinner dates
From the microwave
To the times I hoped
Would never change
To the sleeping late
And the aching heads
To the little talks
About wedding dates
To the promises
That I never said
Oh you know I wouldn't change a thing
Cause I will always be
In your memory for you to find
But if you come around
I wont be there but I hope you're fine

To the better times