Say It First

Page 939

'Are you over it?'

'I hope so.'

I've always been used to emptiness.

I've always kept my problems to myself.

I've always pushed people that cared about me away because I'm afraid of what's next.

But you, you've always shown me unconditional love.

Being in your arms always feels natural.

I'm clingy like that.

But I've missed the feeling.

It's so comfy and comforting.

Closing my eyes, and having you by my side.

Thank you for keeping me around.

You always say it first.

So I'll say it right now.

I love you.

:3

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Sam Smith - Say It First

I never feel like this
I'm used to emptiness in my heart
And in my arms
You're not what I'm used to
You keep me guessing with things that you do
I hope that they're true

'Cause I'm never gonna heal my past
If I run every time it starts
So I need to know, if I'm in this alone

Come on baby, say it first
I need to hear you, say those words
If I'm all that you desire, I promise there'll be fire
I need to hear you, say it first
Come on baby

Do your worst
I know you'll take me higher
So come on darling
If you love me, say it first

Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me
Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me

I know you're right for me
But I'm waiting for everything in your world
To align with my world
I think of you while I sleep
I dream of what we could be if we grow
Together unfold

'Cause I'm never gonna heal my past
If I run every time it starts
So I need to know
If I'm in this alone

Come on baby, say it first
I need to hear you, say those words
If I'm all that you desire, I promise there'll be fire
I need to hear you, say it first
Come on baby

Do your worst
I know you'll take me higher
So come on darling
If you love me, say it first

Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me
Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me
Say it first
Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me
Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me

Come on baby, say it first
I need to hear you, say those words
If I'm all that you desire, I promise there'll be fire
I need to hear you, say it first
Come on baby

Do your worst
I know you'll take me higher
So come on darling
If you love me, say it first

Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me
Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me
Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me
Say it, say it, say it
Won't you say it to me

Insane Sometimes

Page 938

It's been a surprisingly good week so far.

Getting more and more confident with my work.

Everyone's just so nice.

Even my patients.

I really hope I can stay as long as possible.

Continue with a degree.

And build a career for myself.

Thinking about the future can be so scary.

But I guess you just have to go with the flow.

Life is a little insane sometimes.

The most unexpected things can happen in a second...

Like meeting a wonderful person with the sweetest heart.

And I can't wait to see what happens next.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Grace VanderWaal - Insane Sometimes

Dab your foot and watch the clock
I tried to look excited when you walked inside the door
But it was all for sure
I need to get it all out of my mind
Just blast some music and close my eyes
Mmm-oh... got me singing like woah...

Turn it up and I'll sing it loud
And just shut the world out
See the colors
Feel it in my bones
It goes, oh...

Spin the record, oh darling
Inside of my mind
And let's just go go go
And lose track of time
Here we go, on this crazy ride
Here we go, in this crazy life
And oh..
'Cause, 'cause don't you know?
We're all a little insane sometimes

Louder and louder with every thought
Shaking the floors until the pictures fall off the walls
The walls

So we'll, turn it up and I'll sing it loud
And just shut the world out
See the colors
Feel it in my bones
It goes, oh...

Spin the record, oh darling
Inside of my mind
And let's just go go go
And lose track of time
Here we go, on this crazy ride
Here we go, in this crazy life
And oh..
'Cause, 'cause don't you know?
We're all a little insane sometimes

Don't you know?
We're all a little insane sometimes

Spin the record, oh darling
Inside of my mind
And let's just go go go
And lose track of time
Here we go, on this crazy ride
Here we go, in this crazy life
And oh..
'Cause, 'cause don't you know?
We're all a little insane sometimes

Delicate

Page 937

The moment where you rested your head on my lap..

I realised, how delicate you were.

Is it too soon?

At this point, it doesn't matter anymore.

Thank you.

For always making me feel more than I am.

I've never felt worth it.

But you see me in a different way than I do.

My reputation's never been much so..

You must like me for me.

I'm really glad that you're in my life.

You're the sweetest.

And I hope, that you stay.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - Delicate

This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me...
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink...

Dive bar on the east side, where you at?
Phone lights up my nightstand in the black
Come here, you can meet me in the back
Dark jeans and your Nikes, look at you
Oh damn, never seen that color blue
Just think of the fun things we could do

'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me...
Yeah, I want you
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink...

Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
Is it cool that I said all that
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Delicate

Third floor on the west side, me and you
Handsome, you're a mansion with a view
Do the girls back home touch you like I do?
Long night, with your hands up in my hair
Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs
Stay here, honey, I don't wanna share

'Cause I like you
This ain't for the best
My reputation's never been worse, so
You must like me for me
Yeah, I want you
We can't make
Any promises now, can we, babe?
But you can make me a drink

Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
Is it cool that I said all that
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Delicate

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep
Are you ever dreaming of me?
Sometimes when I look into your eyes
I pretend you're mine, all the damn time
'Cause I like you

Is it cool that I said all that?
Is it chill that you're in my head?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
Yeah, I want you
Is it cool that I said all that
Is it too soon to do this yet?
'Cause I know that it's delicate (delicate)
'Cause I like you
Is it cool that I said all that?
(Isn't [-] it?)
Is it chill that you're in my head?
(Isn't it? Isn't [-] it?)
'Cause I know that it's delicate
(Isn't it?)
(Delicate)
Yeah, I want you
Is it cool that I said all that
(Isn't [-] it?)
Is it too soon to do this yet?
(Isn't it? Isn't [-] it?)
'Cause I know that it's delicate
(Isn't it?)
Delicate

So Much More Than This

Page 936

Been in a really good place lately.

I guess things are going well.

In a better direction compared to the state I was in last month.

I can't be depressed forever..

It's exhausting.

I wanna live.

I wanna love.

And I wanna constantly express myself.

'Going up is the only direction after you hit rock bottom.'

Keeping this at heart.

Taking it slow.

There's so much more than this.

:)

I guess it is what it is.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Grace VanderWaal - So Much More Than This

Sit right here, chillin', level low
Close your eyes and just let it flow
Right next to me I hear your heart beat, beat
When the dial turns up and the music starts playing
We don't realize in this society
Doesn't matter how your hair looks or what they are thinking
Just, just what we are finding

Tap your foot and listen in
Ignore the world, let the music cave in
Close your phone and breathe in the air
You'll soon realize that there's something that is

So much more than this
It is what it is
So much more than this
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (hey)
So much more than this
It is what it is
So much more than this
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

The whole crowd seems to like me now
'Cause I think I'm cool but back when I was in school
They found it very easy to hate me
Funny how always these times are changing
Back then it was so easy to shatter
But now in the end it doesn't really matter

Tap your foot and listen in
Ignore the world, let the music cave in
Close your phone and breathe in the air
You'll soon realize that there's something that is

So much more than this
It is what it is
So much more than this
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh (hey)
So much more than this
It is what it is
So much more than this
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

All of the talk, and the talk from ya
Won't even matter when the lights come up
All of the talk, and the talk from ya, hey
Open your eyes and just wake up
Do all the things that will matter to ya
Open your eyes and just wake up, woah

Tap your foot and listen in
Ignore the world, let the music cave in
Close your phone and breathe in the air
You'll soon realize that there's something that is

So much more than this
It is what it is
So much more than this
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
You'll soon realize that there's something that is
So much more than this
It is what it is
So much more than this
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

So much more than this
It is what it is
So much more than this
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Skinny Love

Page 935

Been a month already...

Since life changed its course.

Time flies...

And yet.

Unexpected things still happen.

I found myself in a safe haven today.

Wrapped up in loving arms.

Something that I've always longed for again someday.

And I couldn't seem to tell if I liked it or not.

I know I did.

But did I deserve it?

Was it real?

Or maybe.. I'm just too hard on myself.

And all I could think of was your face.

Flashes of you.

Maybe... I'm too jaded by now.

I don't know what to trust or feel anymore.

I've lost it.

Nothing but skinny love.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Birdy - Skinny Love

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

Tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my
Right in the moment this order's tall

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And in the morning I'll be with you
But it will be a different kind
'Cause I'll be holding all the tickets
And you'll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love, what happened here?
Suckle on the hope in light brassieres
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my
Sullen load is full, so slow on the split

And I told you to be patient
And I told you to be fine
And I told you to be balanced
And I told you to be kind
And now all your love is wasted
Then who the hell was I?
'Cause now I'm breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
And who will fall far behind?

Come on skinny love
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my
My my my, my my my, my-my-my my-my

Naked

Page 934

Monday blues really hit me hard today.

Felt so sleepy the whole day.

And my mood went even down after...

After my lecturer talked about death.

I thought of my grandma.

I thought of my Uncle.

I thought of...

Him.

It's been a while.

I havent heard from you for so long.

How are you?

I bet you won't be reading this.

I'm standing here naked.

And I'm numb.

And confused. 

And I wish you'd talk to me again.

I really miss you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: James Arthur - Naked

Hey, you there
Can we take it to the next level
Baby, do you dare?
Don't, be scared
'Cause if you can say the words
I don't know why I should care

'Cause here I am
I'm giving all I can
But all you ever do is mess it up
Yeah, I'm right here
I'm trying to make it clear
That getting half of you, just ain't enough

I'm not going to wait until you're done
Pretending you don't need anyone
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm not going to try 'til you decide
You're ready to swallow all your pride
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)

Hey, get out
I've got nothing left to give
And you give me nothing now
Read, my mouth
If you ever want me back
Then your walls need breaking down

'Cause here I am
I'm giving all I can
But all you ever do is mess it up
Yeah, I'm right here
I'm trying to make it clear
That getting half of you, just ain't enough

I'm not going to wait until you're done
Pretending you don't need anyone
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm not going to try 'til you decide
You're ready to swallow all your pride
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)

I wanna give you everything
I wanna give you everything
I wanna give you everything
I wanna give you everything

I'm not going to wait until you're done
'Cause you pretended you don't need anyone
Can't you see that I'm naked
(Naked, naked)
Oh, you see that I'm naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm not going to try 'til you decide
You're ready to swallow all your pride
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm standing here naked
(Naked, naked)
I'm standing
I'm standing here

Havana

Page 933

I've been feeling.. much better lately.

Not because my life's getting better.

But because I know I'm not alone.

I'm not the only one.... going through shit in my life.

My close friends are as well.

Some.... worse.

And I can only do so much.

You just gotta find the real ones.

Be close with them. Confide in them.

I pray we all get our shit together.

We can do this.

Let's leave our hearts in Havana.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Camila Cabello Ft Young Thug - Havana

[Camila Cabello:]
Havana, ooh na-na (ay)
Half of my heart is in Havana, ooh-na-na (ay, ay)
He took me back to East Atlanta, na-na-na
Oh, but my heart is in Havana (ay)
There's somethin' 'bout his manners (uh huh)
Havana, ooh na-na

He didn't walk up with that "how you doin'?"
(When he came in the room)
He said there's a lot of girls I can do with
(But I can't without you)
I knew him forever in a minute
(That summer night in June)
And papa says he got malo in him
He got me feelin' like

Ooh... I knew it when I met him
I loved him when I left him
Got me feelin' like
Ooh... and then I had to tell him
I had to go, oh na-na-na-na-na

Havana, ooh na-na (ay)
Half of my heart is in Havana, ooh-na-na (ay, ay)
He took me back to East Atlanta, na-na-na (uh huh)
Oh, but my heart is in Havana (ay)
My heart is in Havana
Havana, ooh na-na

[Young Thug:]
Jeffery
Just graduated, fresh on campus, mmm
Fresh out East Atlanta with no manners, damn
Fresh out East Atlanta
Bump on her bumper like a traffic jam (jam)
Hey, I was quick to pay that girl like Uncle Sam (here you go, ay)
Back it on me, shawty cravin' on me
Get to eating' on me (on me)
She waited on me (then what?)
Shawty cakin' on me, got the bacon on me (wait up)
This is history in the makin' on me (on me)
Point blank, close range, that B
If it cost a million, that's me (that's me)
I was gettin' mula, pretty baby

[Camila Cabello:]
Havana, ooh na-na (ay, ay)
Half of my heart is in Havana, ooh-na-na (oh, ay, ay)
He took me back to East Atlanta, na-na-na (oh no)
Oh, but my heart is in Havana
My heart is in Havana
Havana, ooh na-na

Ooh na-na, oh na-na-na
Take me back, back, back like
Ooh na-na, oh na-na-na
Take me back, back, back like
Ooh na-na, oh na-na-na
Take me back, back, back like
Ooh na-na, oh na-na-na
Take me back, back, back
Yeah, ay...
Ooh...
Take me back to my Havana...

Havana, ooh na-na
Half of my heart is in Havana, ooh-na-na (oh, yeah)
He took me back to East Atlanta, na-na-na
Oh, but my heart is in Havana
My heart is in Havana (ay)
Havana, ooh na-na

Uh huh
Oh na-na-na...
No, no, no, take me back
Oh na-na-na
Havana, ooh na-na