Evermore

 Page 1474

Another year has passed by.

A long, bittersweet one.

Watching the world fall apart each month.

With people dying, and lives changing.

It hasn't been easy.

But we all made it this far.

And we are still fighting on.

Some highlights from the year:

- Australia wildfires, BLM movements & riots, SG and US elections, COVID19 and the damn circuit breaker that impacted everyone.

- Changing companies at least 3-4 times. It wasn't in my control and hasn't been easy at all. In fact it may still be changing next year.

- The ups and downs of a being in a committed relationship. It is all about being honest and understanding to ourselves and each other. And I am thankful we are always working things out together.

- That maybe 'family' isn't everything after all. Especially a toxic one. Which is why I am committed to settling down with my partner in the future. Not in SG of course.

- Had a fall in the toilet, and injured my wrist. Took a while to recover. Not long after, I survived a car accident. Nobody got badly injured.. but it was quite an experience. Took me a while to get over that trauma. I still have it, but it has been getting much better over time. 

- My constant battle with my diet and weight, and my insecurities. I have started dieting and a constant gym routine for about 3 months now, and I have never felt healthier. Gonna keep this up of course.

- Not to mention the amount of new music released this year. Wow, it has been fantastic. From my idols JoJo & Hayley Williams to the amazing Olafur Arnalds that has been constantly inspiring and healing me. My ears have been blessed.

- Finished recording an acoustic version of my debut EP. Which I'll be releasing early next year. It will be more intimate and raw. Looking forward to more collaborations :)

Yeap. Pretty much sums it up.

Today I watched the fireworks from my partner's room.

It was short.

But sweet and simple.

And me feel contented with what I have.

I just want a simple, and cozy life.

And that will be my evermore.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift Ft Bon Iver - Evermore

Gray November
I've been down since July
Motion capture
Put me in a bad light

I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone
Trying to find the one where I went wrong
Writing letters
Addressed to the fire

And I was catching my breath
Staring out an open window
Catching my death
And I couldn't be sure
I had a feeling so peculiar
That this pain would be for
Evermore

Hey December
Guess I'm feeling unmoored
Can't remember
What I used to fight for

I rewind the tape but all it does is pause
On the very moment all was lost
Sending signals
To be double crossed

And I was catching my breath
Barefoot in the wildest winter
Catching my death
And I couldn't be sure
I had a feeling so peculiar
That this pain would be for
Evermore
(Evermore)

Can't not think of all the cost
And the things that will be lost
Oh, can we just get a pause?
To be certain we'll be tall again
Whether weather be the frost
Or the violence of the dog days
I'm on waves, out being tossed
Is there a line that I could just go cross?

And when I was shipwrecked (Can't think of all the cost)
I thought of you (All the things that will be lost now)
In the cracks of light (Can we just get a pause?)
I dreamed of you (To be certain we'll be tall again)
(If you think of all the costs)
It was real enough (Whether weather be the frost)
To get me through (Or the violence of the dog days)
(Out on waves being tossed)
I swear (Is there a line that we could just go cross?)
You were there

And I was catching my breath
Floors of a cabin creaking under my step
And I couldn't be sure
I had a feeling so peculiar
This pain wouldn't be for
Evermore
Evermore
Evermore
This pain wouldn't be for evermore
Evermore

Value

 Page 1473

Don't know where this surge of righteousness came from.

But it was important for me to take my stand.

Hence, the paragraph I wrote to my HR in regards to their contradicting measures.

It was unlike me, but somebody here had to voice it out.

Though to be honest, I've always felt I wasn't going to last long here anyway.

The world is huge.

Plenty of opportunities.

Why stick to a company that is stingy and doesn't value you?

My time here may be limited.

But that's okay. 

I still know my value.

I'm sure I'll find the perfect place one day.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Tori Kelly - Value

Been a few months since
We had first started talkin'
Guess it was all a big front
'Cause you were never tryna lock it down

Shoulda known better
You a player from the start
I shoulda known better
Instead of givin' you my heart, yeah
You got some nerve sayin'
We could still be friends
This is where our story ends

'Cause you don't get to hurt me, then have me
You don't get to hold me, then leave me lonely, no
You were just a wolf in designer clothing
But lucky for me, yeah, lucky for me

I still know my value
If I don't have you
Still know my worth
Even though it hurt
I still know my value
If I don't have you
Still know my worth
Even though it hurt
I still know my value, ooh-ooh
Still know my value, ooh-ooh

Now that I see the real you
I realize that I dodged a bullet
You had a million dollars in your hand
But you didn't know what to do with it, oh

Shoulda known better
You were never about commitment
Gave you my lovin'
But you never did deserve it
Yeah, you might've ripped my heart up in two
But thank God my worth doesn't come from you

You don't get to hurt me, then have me
You don't get to hold me, then leave me lonely
There's gonna be somebody who truly loves me
But lucky for me, yeah, lucky for me

I Still know my value
If I don't have you
Still know my worth
Even though it hurt
Still know my value
If I don't have you
Still know my worth
Even though it hurt
I still know my value, ooh-ooh
Still know my value, ooh-ooh

Still know my value
I'm gonna be just fine without you

The Bottom Line

 Page 1472

Reminder to myself.

Not everyone will appreciate your art.

And that's okay :)

A colleague of mine told me; 'One of your songs is nice, the rest just sounds flat'.

I was taken aback.

But I took it with a pinch of salt.

All my songs..

Are my babies.

They hold significant memories for me.

And it's fine that others don't listen to them properly, or cant relate.

The bottom line is.

My experiences are.. mine.

And you cant take that away from me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Olafur, Josin - The Bottom Line

Come on, come up
It's all or nothing
No warning
A one wake up
A one wake up

When you're called back

Open your eyes
Become or be lost
Suck it all up
The one last shot
The one last shot

Covered by rats
That cover your tracks
The one wake up
How to go back?

Come on, come on
Be the water
Be all or nothing
When you sink back
In a vast ocean
Cut it all open inside
Curl yourself up and
Cry your bones dry

This is the bottom line and now you're open
This is the bottom line and now you're open

Loom

 Page 1471

Not sure what's up with today.

One minute the sun's scorching, and the next, dark clouds are looming.

Anxiety? Monday Blues? Or am I really just sick?

Sometimes I feel like I'm feeding off other's negative energy too much.

Like.. a sponge.

I cant seem to explain it.

But it gets really toxic sometimes.

My head felt like bursting today.

A migraine and a nauseas feeling.

Seem to be getting that often. :/ 

Just gonna.. rest early today.

And hibernate.

Yeah.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Olafur Arnalds, Bonobo - Loom 

Doria

 Page 1470

The last weekend of 2020.

And I spent it all with my partner. :)

Wont have it any other way.

We had a really peaceful day today.

Watched a documentary on Olafur's Island Songs.

Was so touched at how.. peaceful and simple life seems to be at Iceland.

It is definitely a place I want to visit in the future and bask in its glory.

The beautiful landscapes and weather.

Sit down and have tea.

And just.. get cozy.

Maybe.. even retire? Haha.

Putting this out to the universe. :)

Who knows. 

What the future lies ahead.

🤍

Love, Eran

Current Song Mood: Olafur Arnalds - Doria 

25th // The Christmas Song

 Page 1469

Wishing everyone a Merry Christmas!

Spent my 25th at work, with my patients.

But hey, not complaining. 

You gotta do what you gotta do.

Gonna rest early before my Buddy whoops my ass in the gym tomorrow.

Have a Blessed Holiday :)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood #1: Tori Kelly - 25th

Don't you know that Christmas would be incomplete
If you're not here with me
Sugar plums ain't half as sweet as you
Someone go tell Santa I don't need no gifts
Got nothing on my list
Don't you know my only wish is to hold you on the 25th?

Season's here, lights appear
Spread the cheer everywhere, what a year it has been
Got me dreamin'
Oh, the place where we're safe
From the cold, your embrace
Oh, I just can't wait
To be home again

Catch the midnight flight
No more silent nights
I'll be by your side
Oh

Don't you know that Christmas would be incomplete
If you're not here with me
Sugar plums ain't half as sweet as you
Someone go tell Santa I don't need no gifts
Got nothing on my list
Don't you know my only wish is to hold you on the 25th?

(Fa-la-la-la-la)
Oh
(Fa-la-la-la-la)
Yeah, yeah
(Hold you on the 25th)

Fancy bags, Cadillacs
None of that, keep the tags
I can do without
I just want one thing
Fireside burnin' bright
Mistletoe hangin' high, my only desire
If you're listening

Catch the midnight flight
No more silent nights
It's been the longest time
Oh, yeah

Don't you know that Christmas would be incomplete
If you're not here with me
Sugar plums ain't half as sweet as you
Someone go tell Santa I don't need no gifts
Got nothing on my list
Don't you know my only wish is to hold you on the 25th?

(Fa-la-la-la-la)
Oh
(Fa-la-la-la-la)
No, no, no
I just want to hold you on the 25th

So catch the midnight flight
No more silent nights
I'll be by your side

Don't you know that Christmas would be incomplete (That Christmas, oh, yeah)
If you're not here with me (If you're not here with me, baby)
Sugar plums ain't half as sweet as you (You)
Someone go tell Santa I don't need no gifts (Tell him I don't need no gifts)
Got nothing on my list (Oh)
Don't you know my only wish (My only wish)
Is to hold you on the 25th?

I just wanna hold you, baby
(Fa-la-la-la-la)
Oh
(Fa-la-la-la-la)
I just wanna hold you, baby (Ha)
(Hold you on the 25th)
Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo
(Fa-la-la-la-la)
So get over here, babe
Oh, yeah

Current Song Mood #2: JoJo - The Christmas Song 

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire
Jack frost nipping at your nose
You'll time carols being sung by choir and folks dressed up like Eskimos
Everybody knows a turkey and some mistletoe
Can help to make the season bright, bright
Tiny tots with their eyes all a glow
We'll find it hard to sleep tonight

They know that Santa's on his way
He's loaded of toys and goodies on his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if reindeer really know how to fly
So I'm offering this simple phrase to kids from one to 92
So its been said many times many ways:

Merry Christmas, merry Christmas
Merry Christmas to you, you
Merry Christmas...

Its been said many times many ways
Merry Christmas, to you

Wrap Me Up

 Page 1468

Another hectic day.

With so much foooood.

And good vibes.

:)

Wrap me up with it.

I don't mind.

I'm just here enjoying my donuts and Xmas chocolates.

The Universe has been throwing a lot of signs at me these days.

A different career path perhaps.

I'm not sure if I should act on it or.. just let it slide.

Eh. 🤷🏻‍♂️

Who knows what the future holds?

I'm keeping it as open as possible.

Maybe Santa could come by my dreams and give me some advice tonight. 😂

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Wrap Me Up

You say you don't have much to give but you know that that's not what I want
'Cause your time is much more precious than any jewels that I could flaunt

This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)
This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)

'Cause when I'm in it, sugar plums dance through my head on Christmas Eve
You make me feel like I got everything a girl could need

This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)
This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)
You know I love the little things
Let's not forget what the holiday means
This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)

I know it's cold outside but you cut through the ice to keep me warm
And when the snow is fallin', you take your coat off in the storm

This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)
This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)
You know I love the little things
Let's not forget what the holiday means
This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)

You say you don't have much to give but you know that that's not what I want
'Cause your time is much more precious than any jewels that I could flaunt

This Christmas (Wrap me up in your love)
This Christmas, wrap me up in your love (Wrap me up in your love)
You know I love the little things
Let's not forget what the holiday means
This Christmas, want you to wrap me up in your love