1-800-273-8255

Page 990

How do people readily celebrate someone's death?

I'm appalled.

I'm not even defending him.

What he did was really messed up.

Unforgivable, really.

But did we know his story?

Or how it lead to this?

Maybe if it did, we'd change the way we see things.

Here online, I see people celebrating.

Saying he deserves it.

Saying its okay for him to kill himself since he did those crimes.

And I'm here wondering.. wow. People are so quick to judge.

So quick to blame.

He was going to get the justice he deserved.

How is killing himself justified?

I've said this before, and I'll say it again.

And again. And again.

Suicide is never an option.

RIP MARK...

I grew up watching you alongside the cast of Glee.

Thank you for the memories.

I hope you get to meet Cory.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Logic Ft Alessia Cara, Khalid - 1-800-273-8255

[Logic:]
I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine
Who can relate?
I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine

I don't wanna be alive
I don't wanna be alive
I just wanna die today
I just wanna die
I don't wanna be alive
I don't wanna be alive
I just wanna die
And let me tell you why

All this other shit I'm talkin' 'bout they think they know it
I've been praying for somebody to save me, no one's heroic
And my life don't even matter
I know it I know it I know I'm hurting deep down but can't show it
I never had a place to call my own
I never had a home
Ain't nobody callin' my phone
Where you been? Where you at? What's on your mind?
They say every life precious but nobody care about mine

I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine
Who can relate?
I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine

[Logic & Alessia Cara:]
I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don't gotta die today
You don't gotta die
I want you to be alive
I want you to be alive
You don't gotta die
Now lemme tell you why

[Alessia Cara:]
It's the very first breath
When your head's been drowning underwater
And it's the lightness in the air
When you're there
Chest to chest with the lover
It's holding on, though the road's long
And seeing light in the darkest things
And when you stare at your reflection
Finally knowing who it is
I know that you'll thank God you did

[Logic & Alessia Cara:]
I know where you been, where you are, where you goin'
I know you're the reason I believe in life
What's the day without a little night?
I'm just tryna shed a little light
It can be hard
It can be so hard
But you gotta live right now
You got everything to give right now

[Logic:]
I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine
Who can relate?
I been on the low
I been taking my time
I feel like I'm out of my mind
It feel like my life ain't mine

[Logic & Alessia Cara:]
I finally wanna be alive (Finally wanna be alive)
I finally wanna be alive
I don't wanna die today
I don't wanna die
Finally wanna be alive (Finally wanna be alive)
I finally wanna be alive
I don't wanna die
I don't wanna die
(No, I don't wanna die)
(I just wanna live)
(I just wanna live)

[Khalid:]
Pain don't hurt the same, I know
The lane I travel feels alone
But I'm moving 'til my legs give out
And I see my tears melt in the snow
But I don't wanna cry
I don't wanna cry anymore
I wanna feel alive
I don't even wanna die anymore
Oh I don't wanna
I don't wanna
I don't even wanna die anymore

LOVE.

Page 989

LOVE.

All that one needs in his life.

I felt so... contented today.

Just appreciating everything in my life right now.

A job that I love.

A second chance.

A purpose in my life.

The smallest things that can make me smile.

Nothing but love.

..

And gratitude.

Thank you.

Love, Eran.

Just love me.

Current Song Mood: Kendrick Lamar Ft Zacari - LOVE.

[Kendrick Lamar:]
Damn, love or lust
Damn, all of us

[Zacari (Kendrick Lamar):]
Give me a run for my money
There is nobody, no one to outrun me
(Another world premiere!)
So give me a run for my money
Sippin' bubbly, feelin' lovely, livin' lovely
Just love me
(I wanna be with you, ay, I wanna be with)
Just love me, just love me, just love me
(I wanna be with you, ay, I wanna be with)
Love me
(I wanna be with you)
Love me, just love me

[Kendrick Lamar (Zacari):]
If I didn't ride blade on curb, would you still (love me)?
If I minimized my net worth, would you still (love me)?
Keep it a hundred, I'd rather you trust me than to (love me)
Keep it a whole one hund': don't got you, I got nothin'

[Kendrick Lamar:]
Ay, I got somethin'
Hold up, we gon' function, no assumptions
Feelin' like Tyson with it
Knock it out twice, I'm with it
Only for the night, I'm kiddin'
Only for life, you're a homie for life
You're a homie for life, let's get it
Hit that shoulder lean
I know what comin' over mean
Backstroke oversea
I know what you need
Already on ten, our money come in
All feeling go out, this feeling don't drought
This party won't end

[Kendrick Lamar (Zacari):]
If I didn't ride blade on curb, would you still (love me)?
If I minimized my net worth, would you still (love me)?
Keep it a hundred, I'd rather you trust me than to (love me)
Keep it a whole one hund': don't got you, I got nothin'

[Zacari (Kendrick Lamar):]
Give me a run for my money
There is nobody, no one to outrun me
So give me a run for my money
Sippin' bubbly, feelin' lovely, livin' lovely
Just love me
(I wanna be with you, ay, I wanna be with)
Just love me, just love me, just love me
(I wanna be with you, ay, I wanna be with)
Love me
(I wanna be with you)
Love me, just love me

[Kendrick Lamar:]
I'm on the way
We ain't got no time to waste
Poppin' your gum on the way
Am I in the way?
I don't wan' pressure you none
I want your blessing today
Oh, by the way, open the door by the way
Told you that I'm on the way
I'm on the way, I know connection is vague
Pick up the phone for me, babe
Damn it, we jammin'
Bad attitude from your nanny
Curves and your hips from your mammy
Remember Gardena, I took the studio camera
I know Top will be mad at me
I had to do it, I want your body, your music
I bought the big one to prove it
Look what you made
Told you that I'm on the way
I'm like an exit away, yep

[Kendrick Lamar (Zacari):]
If I didn't ride blade on curb, would you still (love me)?
If I minimized my net worth, would you still (love me)?
Keep it a hundred, I'd rather you trust me than to (love me)
Keep it a whole one hund': don't got you, I got nothin'

[Zacari (Kendrick Lamar):]
Give me a run for my money
There is nobody, no one to outrun me
So give me a run for my money
Sippin' bubbly, feelin' lovely, livin' lovely
Just love me
(I wanna be with you, ay, I wanna be with)
Just love me, just love me, just love me
(I wanna be with you, ay, I wanna be with)
Love me
(I wanna be with you)
Love me, just love me

End Game

Page 988

Smitten.

How did that even happen??? 

Life works in such a mysterious way.

Yet I don't know how to feel about it.

Never expected this.

Don't know what to expect out of it.

Maybe it's better not to.

I dont wanna go through this all over again.

I'm kinda done.

But deep down inside

I wanna be..

.

Your first string.

.

Your A-team.

.

Your end game.

.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift Ft Future, Ed Sheeran - End Game

[Taylor Swift & Future:]
I wanna be your end game
I wanna be your first string
I wanna be your A-Team
I wanna be your end game, end game

Big reputation, big reputation
Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations
Ah, and you heard about me
Ooh, I got some big enemies (yeah)
Big reputation, big reputation
Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation
Ah, and I heard about you (yeah)
Ooh, you like the bad ones, too

[Future:]
You so dope, don't overdose
I'm so stoked, I need a toast
We do the most, I'm in the Ghost like I'm whippin' a boat
I got a reputation, girl, that don't precede me (yeah)
I'm one call away whenever you need me (yeah)
I'm in a G5 (yeah), come to the A-Side (yeah)
I got a bad boy persona, that's what they like (what they like)
You love it, I love it, too, 'cause you my type (you my type)
You hold me down and I protect you with my life

[Taylor Swift & Future:]
I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be
Just another ex-love you don't wanna see
I don't wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)
Like the other girls do
I don't wanna hurt you, I just wanna be
Drinking on a beach with you all over me
I know what they all say (I know what they all say)
But I ain't tryna play

[Taylor Swift:]
I wanna be your end game (End game)
I wanna be your first string (First string)
I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team)
I wanna be your end game, end game

[Ed Sheeran:]
Knew her when I was young
Reconnected when we were little bit older, both sprung
I got issues and chips on both of my shoulders
Reputation precedes me; in rumors I’m knee-deep
The truth is it's easier to ignore it, believe me
Even when we'd argue, we'd not do it for long
And you understand the good and bad end up in a song
For all your beautiful traits and the way you do it with ease
For all my flaws, paranoia and insecurities
I've made mistakes and made some choices, that's hard to deny
After the storm, something was born on the 4th of July
I've passed days without fun, this end game is the one
With four words on the tip of my tongue, I'll never say it

[Taylor Swift:]
I don't wanna touch you, I don't wanna be
Just another ex-love you don't wanna see
I don't wanna miss you (I don't wanna miss you)
Like the other girls do
I don't wanna hurt you, I just wanna be
Drinking on a beach with you all over me
I know what they all say, yeah, but I ain't tryna play

[Taylor Swift:]
I wanna be your end game (End game)
I wanna be your first string (Wanna be your first string)
I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team)
I wanna be your end game, end game

[Taylor Swift & Future:]
Big reputation, big reputation
Ooh, you and me, we got big reputations
Ah, and you heard about me
Oh, I got some big enemies
Hey, big reputation, big reputation
Ooh, you and me would be a big conversation
Ah, and I heard about you
Ooh, you like the bad ones, too

[Taylor Swift:]
I hit you like bang
We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't
And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put 'em
Reputation precedes me, they told you I'm crazy
I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me
And I can't let you go, your hand prints on my soul
It's like your eyes are liquor, it's like your body is gold
You've been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks
So here's the truth from my red lips

[Taylor Swift, Future & Ed Sheeran:]
I wanna be your end game (End game)
I wanna be your first string (Me and you)
I wanna be your A-Team (Be your A-Team now)
I wanna be your end game, end game
I wanna be your end game (oh, I do)
I wanna be your first string (first string)
I wanna be your A-Team (A-Team)
I wanna be your end game, end game

I Did Something Bad

Page 987  

I... I did something bad.

But I guess, everything happens for a reason, right?

I believe so.

Let's pretend tonight never happened.

These string of events... has had me revisit the past.

Reopened certain wounds.

I always regret my actions in the end..

But...

I keep doing it.

Why's it feel so good?

I have to stop.

But deep down I know..

I'd do it over and over, and over again.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - I Did Something Bad

I never trust a narcissist, but they love me
So I play 'em like a violin
And I make it look oh-so-easy
'Cause for every lie I tell them, they tell me three
This is how the world works
Now all he thinks about is me

I can feel the flames on my skin
Crimson red paint on my lips
If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing
I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming

They say I did something bad
Then why's it feel so good?
They say I did something bad
But why's it feel so good?
Most fun I ever had
And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could
It just felt so good, good

I never trust a playboy, but they love me
So I fly 'em all around the world
And I let them think they saved me
They never see it comin', what I do next
This is how the world works
You gotta leave before you get left

I can feel the flames on my skin
He says, "Don't throw away a good thing"
But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothin'
And if he spends my change, then he had it comin'

They say I did something bad
Then why's it feel so good?
They say I did something bad
But why's it feel so good?
Most fun I ever had
And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could
It just felt so good, good

They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one
They got their pitchforks and proof, their receipts and reasons
They're burning all the witches, even if you aren't one
So light me up (light me up), light me up (light me up)
Light me up, go ahead and light me up (light me up)
Light me up (light me up), light me up (light me up)
Light me up (light me up), light me up

They say I did something bad (oh)
Then why's it feel so good? (so good)
They say I did something bad
But why's it feel so good?
Most fun I ever had (most fun I ever had)
And I'd do it over and over and over again if I could
It just felt so good (good), good

Oh, you say I did something bad
(You say I did something bad?)
Why's it feel so good, good?
So bad, why's it feel so good?
Why's it feel, why's it feel so good? (bad)
It just felt so good, good

The Thrill Of It All

Page 986

My heart slowly relaxed as the news broke to me.

Phew.

I saw it coming.. I hoped and I prayed.

I'm glad that I got to do this today.

At least I know...

That I'm still myself.

Today you texted me.

After 2 months..

What's the purpose of it?

Were you genuinely curious.

Or were you just rubbing it in my face.

I'm gonna set myself straight.

Set my priorities.

It's not worth it anymore..

This...

All of it.

The thrill of it all.

It doesn't.. last.

Never will.

Yeah.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Sam Smith - The Thrill Of It All

I regret that I told the world
That you were with me
And I regret how I showed the world
That you were pretty
I never thought I'd learn so much
So much from being lonely
But I guess I didn't learn enough
'Cause now you won't hold me

I guess I got lost in the moment
I guess I got lost in the fall
I guess I got lost in your heartbeat
In the thrill of it all
And I guess you were goddamn perfect

'Cause every single time you call
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
In the thrill of it all
In the thrill of it all

Even though we weren't in love
It was far from lust
Yeah, you were beautiful
But in you I could trust
Others they warned my heart
They said I would lose fast
They say that you were stopping ground
And soon to be my past

I guess I got lost in the moment
I guess I got lost in the fall
I guess I got lost in your heartbeat
In the thrill of it all
And I guess you were goddamn perfect

'Cause every single time you call
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
In the thrill of it all
In the thrill of it all

And I guess you were goddamn perfect
'Cause every single time you call
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
In the thrill of it all

Lost My Mind

Page 985

Do you just get so.... tired of everything?

Tired of meeting expectations.

Tired of giving so much.

Tired of... living.

That's how I felt today.

What are we living for?

Feels like.

I've lost my purpose.

I've.. lost my mind.

Maybe it's best.. that you don't know me.

The real me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: BRIDGE - Lost My Mind

[Verse 1]
If you knew, what I know
Would you be so faithful?
If you knew, what I know
This would be more painful

[Hook]
Do you see better, can't wait
Really really lost my mind
That's how it goes sometimes, I
Who could be at home with you
I know, I lost my mind
Still think about you all the time
I, oh I, ooh I, I lost my mind
Still think about you all the time

[Bridge]
Spinning like a ghost at dawn
Bothered all the time

[Verse 2]
Asked you all about it, baby you keep saying no
Said I had to talk when you know I had to go
Now I'm still around and my mind about to blow
I'm not in love anymore
Think you asked me enough
Can you listen to me when I tell you I don't know?
I know I should agree, shit goes on and on and on

[Hook]
You think you did what I did
Girl you really lost your mind
Sounding crazy all the time

[Bridge]
Spinning like a ghost at dawn
Bothered all the time
Bothered all the time

[Hook]
You will know what I know
You will know what I know
Love me no more
I really lost my, I really lost my mind

[Outro]
Spinning like a ghost at dawn
Bothered all the time
Bothered all the time

Wild Hearts Cant Be Broken

Page 984

Last night was full of emotions.

Saw a lot of familiar faces..

Local celebrities.

Friends.

All watching Munah Hirzi's last show...

Their final era.

Woah.

It was so bittersweet.

The feels were real.

After all these years....

Every since I was in Secondary School.

They can still make us laugh out loud.

Dedicating so much time and patience and passion in their art.

Working their asses off to get to where they are now.

It's inspiring.

'Dreams do come true' They keep mentioning.

No amount of hate or tape can shut out, conceal your voices.

Wild hearts can't be broken.

Thank you for touching our hearts.

For touching mine.

We'll miss you.

And we'll always love you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: P!nk - Wild Hearts Cant Be Broken

I will have to die for this I fear
There's rage and terror and there's sickness here
I fight because I have to
I fight for us to know the truth

There's not enough rope to tie me down
There's not enough tape to shut this mouth
The stones you throw can make me bleed
But I won't stop until we're free
Wild hearts can't be broken
No, wild hearts can't be broken

This is my rally cry
I know it's hard, we have to try
This is a battle I must win
To want my share is not a sin

There's not enough rope to tie me down
There's not enough tape to shut this mouth
The stones you throw can make me bleed
But I won't stop until we're free
Wild hearts can't be broken
No, wild hearts can't be broken

You beat me, betray me
You're losing, we're winning
My spirit above me
You cannot deny me
My freedom is burning
This broken world keeps turning
I'll never surrender
There's nothing, but a victory

There's not enough rope to tie me down
There's not enough tape to shut this mouth
The stones you throw can make me bleed
But I won't stop until we're free
Wild hearts can't be broken
No, wild hearts can't be broken
This wild heart can't be broken

Better Life

Page 983

Been up late at night lately..

Cant seem to sleep.

Been thinking and thinking of everything.

Connecting every dots.

But I can't shake the feeling.

The eagerness to..

Move forward.

One step at a time.

Picturing myself a better life.

Everything in its time...

I believe so. :)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: P!nk - Better Life

I've been up late watching you breathe
Wondering if you're going to leave
Don't tell me what you see
That you actually believe it
Fuck, I'm blue
And all those photos that you like of a better life, better wife, better nights, better high
Goddamn right I miss drinking
Yeah, I do

I've been up late nights
Staring at the street lights
All the cigarette smoke, can't escape a closing window
And my head's like "What happened to, it's alright"
Baby, it's not alright
What if we're a closing window

But I can't shake the feeling
That you picture a better life, better wife, better nights, better high
I can't shake the feeling
Do you picture a better life?

I found myself up late feeling kinda jealous
Looking at the bullshit, other peoples wellness
And it's got me thinking
It's just not you
I've been all night looking in the eyes of my baby
Right in front of me, what a gift so amazing
And that's what's true

But I stay up late night
Screaming at the street lights
All the cigarette smoke, filling up these hopeless lungs
Oh, and my head's like "What happens to, it's alright"
Baby, it's not alright
I feel like a closing window

But I can't shake the feeling
That you picture a better life, better wife, better nights, better high
I can't shake the feeling
Do you picture a better life?

I can't seem to understand it
How did we get so low
No, no, no, no
I can't seem to understand it
How did we get so low
No, no, no

But I can't shake the feeling (I can't seem to understand it, how did we get so low)
That you picture a better life, better wife, better nights, better high (no, no, no)
I can't shake the feeling (I can't seem to understand it, how did we get so low)
Do you picture a better life?

Do you picture a better life?
Ooh, do you picture a better life?
And I wonder, and I wonder
Do you picture a better life? (Can't shake the feeling)
And I wonder (I can't shake the feeling)
Do you picture
Do you picture a better life?

But We Lost It

Page 982

They say everything is temporary.

Sometimes I wonder..

Where does love go to die?

It must be.. a really lonely place.

Maybe time just wasnt on our side.

We had a thing.

But we lost it.. along the way.

I'm sorry.

If I made everything feel worse than it already is.

I wish I could be there to ease your pain.

But I can't.

Just remember...

The bone breaks, but it grows back stronger.

You will too.

Take care,

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: P!nk - But We Lost It

They say everything is temporary
Who the hell are they anyways
I wanna know where does love go to die
Is it some sad empty castle in the sky
Did we just shoot too high and spoil like wine?

You walk by, and it's like our bodies never touch
No love, you hold me close, but I don't feel much
I cry, maybe time isn't on our side
We had a thing but we lost it

One more go, I kinda thought if we took it slow
It might be easier for us, yeah for us to know
I know we never been quite here before
I wish I knew it when we lost it

You used to try to wake the beast in me
There's still a very sleepy part of me inside
I have been waiting to come alive
You stared into my eyes and turned to stone
And now I'm living all alone
In these four walls

There's a stranger, he's lying in my bed
Kinda blank like the thoughts living in my head
This is the one that I felt I knew so well
I think we had it but we lost it

I'm still the girl that you chased all around the world
I haven't changed, I've just replaced all the chains with pearls
I want the same things we did back then
I know we had it but we lost it

Oh
The bone breaks
It grows back stronger
Oh... the bone breaks
It grows back stronger
The bone breaks
It grows back stronger
Oh the bone breaks

You walked by, and it's like our bodies never touch
No love, you hold me close, but I don't feel much
I cry, maybe time isn't on our side
We had a thing but we lost it

One more go, I kinda thought if we took it slow
It might be easier for us, yeah for us to know
I know we never been quite here before
I wish I knew it when we lost it
Yeah... I wish I knew it when we lost it

Friends

Page 981 

Been an exhausting day.

Events. Work. Gym. 

By the time I got home, I crashed.

Woke up wondering...

With everything that's been happening 

Can we still be friends?

I hope so.

I'm down for it.

And I hope you are too.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Justin Bieber, BloodPop - Friends

I was wonderin' 'bout your mama
Did she get that job she wanted?
Sell that car that gave her problems
I'm just curious 'bout her, honest

Know your wonderin' why I been callin'
Like I got ulterior motives
Know we didn't end this so good
But you know we had something so good

So I'm wonderin'
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Doesn't have to end (ah-ah)
And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Can we be friends?
Can we be friends?

Wonderin' if you got a body
To hold you tighter since I left
Wonderin' if you think about me
Actually, don't answer that

Know your wonderin' why I been callin'
Like I got ulterior motives
Know we didn't end this so good
But you know we had something so good

So I'm wonderin'
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Doesn't have to end (ah-ah)
And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Can we be friends?

And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Know your wonderin' why I been callin'
Like I got ulterior motives
Know we didn't end this so good
But you know we had something so good

I'm wonderin'
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Doesn't have to end (ah-ah)
And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Something's Gotta Give

Page 980

I'm sorry.

My heart sank deep tonight.

I guess it's always gonna be the hardest part.

But... something's gotta give.

As painful as it is.

I gotta do what I gotta do.

I gotta find my own way.

Find my own path.

Do it on my own.

Figure it out by myself.

No reason to stay, is a good reason to go.

We should know by now.

:')

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Camila Cabello - Something's Gotta Give

Loving you, I thought I couldn't get no higher
Your November rain could set the night on fire, night on fire
But we could only burn so long
Counterfeit emotions only run skin deep
Know you're lying when you're lying next to me, next to me
How did we get so far gone?

I should know by now
You should know by now
We should know by now

Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give, and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go, ooh

I have never heard a silence quite so loud
I walk in the room and you don't make a sound, make a sound
You're good at making me feel small
If it doesn't hurt me, why do I still cry?
If it didn't kill me, then I'm half alive, half alive
How did we get so far gone?

I should know by now
You should know by now
We should know by now

Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give, and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go

I should know by now, you should know by now
I think I'm breaking right now, ooh
I should know by now, you should know by now
I think I'm breaking right now

Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give, and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go, ooh
Something's gotta give