Good When We Fight

Page 1277

A lot of self-reflecting today.

And just, basking in the moment.

As the world goes by.

This trip as been just that.

Perfect.

With the smelly farts, pests, fatty food, and unpredictable weather.

:) 

Every couple has their ups and downs.

I find that its good when we fight.

Once in a while. of course.

Because at the end of it, we only come out stronger.

One last day in this beautiful city of Melbourne.

Let's take it easy, & make it last.

xx

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Eluera - Good When We Fight

We know this won't be the last time
I call you screaming
I say i'm leaving

You say 'shut up, you know we'll be fine'
You're just like your mother
You forgive me, we recover

And it's been like this since we were 18
But I wouldn't change a thing

Why do you have to look so good
When we fight?
I'm finding it hard to stay mad when
I catch your eye
Know we're gonna be alright
Cause we do it all the time
Why do you have to look so good
When we fight?
Fight

It's hard to think that things are fine
When you won't say what's on your mind
We just sit here watching static

And the way you don't blurt shit out
I needa know cause its killing me now

And I just wanna try fix this
But you got me so conflicted

Why do you have to look so good
When we fight?
I'm finding it hard to stay mad when
I catch your eye
Know we're gonna be alright
Cause we do it all the time
Why do you have to look so good
When we fight?
I'm going crazy but

Why do you have to look
Why do you have to look so good?
Why do you have to look
Why do you have to look so good?
Why do you have to look
Why do you have to look so good?
Why do you have to look
Why do you have to look so good?

You're talking crazy, my head is racing
You say you're done, don't come home but i'm coming over
Cause after its over

You'll hold me the way you do

And then for a couple weeks we'll be cool
But I know we're hurting
You just look so good

Why do you have to look so good?

When we fight
I'm finding it hard to stay mad when I catch your eye
Know we're gonna be alright
Cause we do it all the time
Why do you have to look so good
When we fight?
Fight
Fight
Fight

Why do you have to look so good
When we fight
Fight

Lift Me From The Ground

Page 1276

It's been quite a hectic week.

But I'm glad we've finally decided to take things slow.

And just breathe.

And live in the moment

This place is beautiful. 

The people.

The surroundings.

The culture.

Everything.

Each day just amazes me.

And lifts me from the ground.

We only have 2 days left.

So we're gonna make the most out of it.

And just savour every moment.

:)

Love, Eran

Current Song Mood: San Holo Ft Sofie Winterson - Lift Me From The Ground

Lift me from the ground

Talk to me, I love that sound
Out of words when you're around
I've been trying to come down
On and high when you're around

Lift me from the ground
Talk to me, I love that sound
Out of words when you're around
Lift me from the ground
I've been trying to come down
On, and high when you're around
Lift me from the ground
Lift me from the ground
Ground, ground, ground

Lift me from the ground
Lift me from the ground
Lift me from the ground

Talk to me, I love that sound
Out of words when you're around
I've been trying to come down
On and high when you're around

Talk to me, I love that sound
Out of words when you're around
Lift me from the ground
I've been trying to come down
On, and high when you're around
Lift me from the ground
Ground, ground, ground
Lift me from the ground

Lift me from the ground
Lift me from the ground
Lift me from the ground

Lift me from the ground
Lift me from the ground

Brighter Days

Page 1275

Today was the hottest day so far.

Everything was so bright. 

Guess the summer is slowly making its transition in.

Wore my long-sleeve out and that was a mistake LOL.

Damn. Humid.

We had to stand behind the bus stop, under the shade to avoid the blazing heat rays.

I was still feeling under the weather. 

Felt like my phlegm had turned to ice. Damn it.

Never felt this sick.

We went to Melbourne Central to have Boost and walked around. It was really REALLY refreshing.

Headed to Laksa Bar around 11.30, and it was honestly sooo gooooooood.

Really lifted our spirits.

The portion was worth the price.

And the limey sour taste to it made it even more special. I loved it.

I felt much better after our meal.

:D

We needed to go to the toilet after, and the nearest was this public toilet in the middle of the road (literally).

It was so gross. Goshh.

We proceeded to the park nearby, in search of the museum. 

It was soooo pretty.

Honestly felt like a REAL park. Everyone was just so relaxed, either sitting alone, ears plugged or doing some sort of yoga.

Heck, even the birds were more relaxed. HAHAH. THEY WERE SO CUTE.

Finally found Melbourne Museum behind the park.

Soooo worth the price.

A whole day entry for $15?!? 

And the exhibits were really interesting too. 

Totally worth it. 

We took lots of amazing pictures there.

:)

After a long tour, we decided to go have dinner. Bought coffee and donut along the way, and finally settled down on bringing back pizzas and kebab.

We made an impromptu decision to buy Ben & Jerrys.

 3. Friggin. Scoops.

Hahaha. And the cashier who served was sooo friendly! Gosh. Really amazing service here.

We went to some nearby bench, sat down and ate. 

Watching people walk by, going home from work.

It was interesting, to be on this side of the wall.

We deserved it.

After waiting so long. Hehe.

Now it's time to rest up, for another adventure tomorrow. 

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: San Holo Ft Bipolar Sunshine - Brighter Days

Vivid visions of us carry on
Think I've found the light it's been so long
I better hold on to this feeling before it's gone
Whatever happened we both grew as time moved on, oh oh

Feels like I'm the only one
Looking at blue skies, dreaming of old times
Brighter days will come
Looking at blue skies, with you in my mind
I'm the only one
Brighter days will come
Am I the only one?
Looking at blue skies, dreaming of old times

Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days will come
(Dreaming of old times)

Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days will come
(Dreaming of old times)

Flying high, I'm ten feet off the ground
I see it all even when looking down
Don't wanna hold on to the times you were around
No longer hear your voice when there's no single sound, oh oh

Feels like I'm the only one
Looking at blue skies, dreaming of old times
Brighter days will come
Looking at blue skies, with you in my mind
I'm the only one
Brighter days will come
Am I the only one?
Looking at blue skies, dreaming of old times

Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days will come
(Dreaming of old times)

Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days will come

Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come

Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days, the days, the days come
Brighter days will come

Poser

Page 1274

It's been another long day.

The weather today has been such a bitch.

Surprisingly woke up at 5:30am, sweating with a slight migraine.

So I turned on the AC.

Couldn't sleep and got up around 9am to shower and have breakfast.

Went out, and the sun was blazing hot, but the weather still cool. It was crazy.

No wonder we're sick.

We dressed up like the total posers we were hahaha.

Had our daily dose of coffee, and headed to a graffiti art area where we took pics.

Damn, there are really such talented people living here.

If this was Singapore, people would've been fined left and right.

But over here, the difference is uncanny.

The arts here are really appreciated.

And it is really really beautiful, in its own forms.

Near the graffiti alley, we found a hipster shop.

IT. WAS. LIT.

Yo.

Got myself a pair of Adidas shoes I've always wanted.

This is my new favourite brand.

Headed to 8bit burger for lunch, and it was really worth the price.

As good as Fatburger tbh.

We proceeded to Dockland, but got a little lost hahaha.

We eventually found our way and gosh, it really is a shopping paradise.

Definitely coming back to get more goods.

Yikes.

At this point, my migraine and throat got a bit worst.

So, we headed back to town, and to the pharmacy to get meds.

I felt like shit. And I was feeling bad because I didn't want to spoil the mood of the day.

So hanging in there, we proceeded to explore some more.

Found this shop called Rebel, with authentic, cheap Adidas clothings.

GOSHHHHH. I CANNOT. We quickly left to avoid impulsive buying.

Definitelyyyy coming baaaaack.

Ate at this really amazing Mexian Restaurant called Guzman. 

It's like... a better version of Stuff'd. Hahaha. And the music was impressive too.

Went back to the apartment to settle down and rest before heading to a nearby grocery store.

It was kinda weird.

I had weird vibes from all the people there.

Apparently people from the Suburbs are not as friendly.

I could really sense their intensity.

Heh.

Managed to get out of there alive, so that's that.

I'd definitely do it again for the thrill lmao.

That's that for today.

I hope this annoying itch in my throat goes away.

Need to get better.

Ciao, and stay hydrated.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Grace VanderWaal - Poser

We were hanging with your rich kid city friends
Ones that I don't know
Not sure what to say, say it anyway
Isn't how I thought it go

And even if I'm faking it
Pretending to be confident
I am pathetic, I'll admit
Asking

Would you call me poser
Or would you call me a friend?
After all that I told you
Was this time well spent?
I don't know what this meant

Did you take me here just to show me off
To that girl you used to know
Everybody here is looking at me weird
So I'll just put on a show

And even if I'm faking it
Pretending to be confident
I am pathetic, I'll admit
For asking

Would you call me poser
Or would you call me a friend?
After all that I told you
Was this time well spent?
I don't, I don't, I don't

And who am I kidding
If I can't convince myself?
And who are you kidding
If I was there for someone else?
And on the train home
I'll stare at my phone
To hide my thoughts of what I might now

Would I call you a poser?
Are we more than just friends?
After that I told you
Was this time well spent?
I don't know what this meant
What this meant
What this meant

I wish I could fall, into your love
But love is so overrated
I wish I could fall into your love
I really hope I don't mess you up
And you don't mess me up
And I don't mess you up

I hope I don't mess you up

Oblivion

Page 1273

Hey guys.

Currently chilling in our apartment in Melbourne.

The weather was 10 degrees this morning.

I'm not sure how my body has been adapting, because I've been really really sick.

It's the weather I guess. The sun is shining hot, but the weather outside is like a never-ending giant air conditioner is switched on somewhere. 

Not to mention the dust in this apartment.

The. Friggin. Dust. 

Shit. Haha.

In between the jet lags, insomnia and flu, its actually been a pretty amazing experience so far.

The people here..

They're different.

Sociable. Friendly.

Unlike the people back at home.

Their lifestyle is so.. relaxed.

Just so much positivity everywhere.

I could actually see myself living here.

:)

It's only the second day.

But it already feels like forever.

Like I could fade... into oblivion.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Labrinth Ft Sia - Oblivion

Heaven never heard me calling
Guess this is the reason I feel like hell
Weatherman the rain is pouring, yeah, yeah
I wanna be in time
See I'm being honest right now
I've been in this dark hotel
So why do I keep myself locked in? Yeah
I wanna be, I wanna be!

Be in oblivion
Don't wanna live like this
Need something to knock me out
Don't wanna feel
Nothing can make me numb
Nothing left but to run
I need you to knock me out, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-yeah, yeah
(I need you to knock me out)

Box me 'round the ears, my darling
Only you can bring relief my dear
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Crush me with your love, adore me, yeah, yeah
Wanna be, I wanna be

Be in oblivion
Don't wanna live like this
Need something to knock me out
Don't wanna feel
Nothing can make me numb
Nothing left but to run
I need you to knock me out, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-yeah, yeah
(I need you to knock me out)
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-yeah, yeah
(I need you to knock me out)

Cold sweat, I was living in my head
Near death, till this experience
So, if you would be
If you would be

Be my oblivion
Don't wanna live like this
Need something to knock me out
Don't wanna feel
Nothing can make me numb
Nothing left but to run
I need you to knock me out, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-yeah, yeah
(I need you to knock me out)
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah
Yeah-yeah, yeah
(I need you to knock me out)

Weight Of The World

Page 1272

Its been a productive break so far.

Been spending the past few days decluttering some of my own stuff.

Looking back at all these... memories

It brought back a lot of feelings that I've buried.

But it feels great to put them away.

Because I can finally make space for the new ones to come.

:)

It's like the weight of the world has lifted.

I needed this.

Just in time for my trip tonight.

Going to spend some time away with my lover.

In place I've always wanted to go to.

(:

It's going to be a new experience.

And I am so excited for it.

Goodbye, Singapore.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Jon Bellion - Weight Of The World

We're six feet underground inside my bed
And all the little letters in my head
We're spelling suicide but not by choice
Was calling out for help, but heard no noise, no noise

Only the sound of my back breaking
But ever since you and your arms saved me

I don't hold the weight of the world anymore
I don't hold the weight of the world anymore
I don't hold the weight of the world anymore
I don't hold the weight of the world anymore

The only friend I had wore black and red
The darker instruments inside my head
We're playing suicide but not by choice, by choice
Was calling out for help, but heard no noise, no noise

Only the sound of my hands shaking
But ever since you and your arms saved me

I don't hold the weight of the world anymore
I don't hold the weight of the world anymore
I don't hold the weight of the world anymore
I don't hold the weight of the world anymore

Don't hold the weight of the world
I don't hold the weight, I don't hold the weight

[Blaque Keyz:]
This the flow that helped me tip the scale
I'm stackin' chips like Chippendale's without the strippin'
Get the bailiff out cause Mr. Bellion's out to sell
We skip the bail and out the jail
We hit the trail, the route we took is hard to smell it out
So get to sniffin', equipped with the gift of spit
like the lisp on a chicken plate and a flick mixed with Spiderman
I'm brighter than LEDs on your TV
Keyz is sharp as a dagger
Who walks around with a swagger of Kenny G
When you see me, chill with the chatter
Got the skill of a master craftsman whose passion is rappin'
Snackin' on actors, so pass me a napkin
Chip on the shoulder, the kid is colder than both Dakotas
The winter soldier, assassin coming after your captain
For honor and every day, I'm getting stronger
No one will shock the world, got a buzz like a mini Blanka
When they apply the pressure, it's heavier than E. Honda
Got what it takes to be great, but can't hold this weight any longer

Everything I Wanted

Page 1271

I've got everything I wanted.

But why do I feel like I don't deserve it?

I guess its just me and my troubled past.

Maybe I will never get past it.

The way it just keeps haunting me.

Affecting my head.

Over and over.

Like a broken record.

As you left the room and I just..

Had my hands on my head, defeated.

Tears. Hyperventilation. Fear.

Another panic attack.

That familiar feeling of, loneliness.

The overwhelming darkness that slowly swept in as the sun set.

And I was engulfed.

Engulfed in pitch darkness.

I found myself under the sheets.

Waiting. And drifting away.

And then you came back.

And you saved me, from my own self.

And I saw the light, again.

You are..

 everything I've wanted.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Eilish - Everything I Wanted

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you'd think
And if I'm being honest

It might have been a nightmare
To anyone who might care

Thought I could fly
So I stepped off the golden
Nobody cried
Nobody even noticed

I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me

And you say
As long as I'm here
No one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you’re here
They don't deserve you

I tried to scream
But my head was under water
They called me weak
Like I'm not just somebody's daughter

Coulda been a nightmare
But it felt like they were right there
And it feels like yesterday was a year ago
But I don't wanna let anybody know
'Cause everybody wants something from me now
And I don't wanna let 'em down

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me

And you say
As long as I'm here
No one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change the way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you’re here
They don't deserve you

If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?

If I knew it all then, would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?

Into The Sun

Page 1270

Its been quite the day.

But I'm so glad it all worked out.

Happy Birthday, love.

Hope you liked the gifts.

It makes me happy, to see you happy.

And the confused/scared look you had when I had surprises after surprises. (Should do this more often. >:) )

Thankful for the time I get to spend with you.

This month is starting to feel special. 

But I feel like it will be even more special once we go on our trip.

I love you.

With all my heart.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Vancouver Sleep Clinic - Into The Sun

I'm afraid of dying
I'm afraid of love
I'm afraid of never trying
And of not being enough
Don't know what's on the horizon
Don't know who to trust
I'mma run this 'till it's finished
'Till it's rubble and dust

I'm afraid of flying
Crash into the sun
I'm afraid of never rising
To be the one that they want
But I'm out here in the wild now
With nowhere else to run
So I'mma wing it with no pilot
To the kingdom that comes

I always abandon myself, and I don't know why
I feel I'm getting stronger
I feel I'm getting free
Always neglecting myself, and I don't know why
I feel I'm getting stronger
I feel I'm getting free

I'm scared of this money
Run from these banks
Dropped a light fifty
Carried more weight
I needed more money
To work on more things
This is all that I have
This is all that I have

I never do promo
'Cause I care what you think
For now I'm gon fly low
Just hope I don't sink
Keeping my fans close
'Cause when I'm on the brink
We're all that I have
You're all that I have

I always abandon myself, and I don't know why
I feel I'm getting stronger
I feel I'm getting free
Always neglecting myself, and I don't know why
I feel I'm getting stronger
I feel I'm getting free

Get my things
I'm tired of making old mistakes
Trynna fill a vacant space
There's something that I need
Took my things
Knew I had to make a change
I'm headed where the daylight reigns
Feel I'm getting free

And when the candle flickers light
Then I know I still got time
And when the candle's burning bright
I know I still got time

And I'm sorry father
I'm sorry mother
If I let you down
If I let you down
And I'm sorry sister
I'm sorry brother
If I let you down
If I let you down

Yosemite

Page 1269

OS X Yosemite.

Macbook Air 2013.

Been 6 years since I've used this laptop.

But I guess its time to move on to newer things.

Currently swelling up like a balloon.

And going to explode at any time.

Heck.

Every second is a risk.

But life is too short not too take one.

My anxiety today seems to know better.

Separation anxiety, too.

This month seems to be triggering a lot of things.

Things or feelings that I may not want to remember.

But it will all be okay.

Yeah.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Vancouver Sleep City - Yosemite

Love is the drug we're all after
Love is the cure and the disease
I'm in a state of nostalgia
Dreaming of what could have been

'Cause Hollywood might be the death of me
So I'll carry my mind to Yosemite
Lay it all down in the summer breeze
And I pick up my guitar and play The Middle East, yeah
'Cause I don't want fans, I want family
I don't wanna stack bands, I just wanna find peace
In the world that has drained all my energy

Love is the light that showed me darkness
Love's in the God that I believe
But life around here is getting harder
I'll find my way eventually

'Cause Hollywood might be the death of me
So I'll carry my mind to Yosemite
Lay it all down in the summer breeze
And I pick up my guitar and play The Middle East, yeah
'Cause I don't want fans, I want family
I don't wanna stack bands, I just wanna find peace
In the world that has drained all my energy

If you love me
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
In the suffering
Where are you found?
Where are you found?
If you love me
Where are you now?
Where are you now?
Lost and wandering
Can I be found?

'Cause Hollywood might be the death of me
So I'll carry my mind to Yosemite

Worst Behaviour

Page 1268

Sometimes I am just tired of people.

Having to be nice all the time.

But I have to, to maintain my professionalism.

So weird that people always just.. approach me?

For things that I may not even know?

My colleagues. My patients.

Oh gosh.

My patients.

I have a makcik that keeps requesting for me.

But she gives me food, so all is good. (LOL).

Am I really that approachable? I find it amusing.

Even today, after work.

A random dude just went up to me and struck a conversation.

I was half-expecting him to sell something - Insurance? Some MLM thing? Preach about God? I was ready to just walk away.

But nope. He was just genuinely chatting and asking about me.

That struck me by surprise. 

Like.

Weirdest encounter ever.

Anyway.

I should just stop being nice.

And put on my worst behaviour for a change.

Maybe then I can avoid people.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: ALMA Ft Tove Le - Worst Behaviour

Another year wasted on endless work
They don't know my worth
Another year wasted on stupid jerks
I rip off my shirt
I am done, I'm sick, of hearing it
I am done, fed up, ain't having it
Another year wasted on endless work
They don't know my worth

Around and around and around and around
Pour me another round
'Round and around and around and around
Keep 'em coming till I hit the ground

You better stay home tonight
'Cause I'm on my worst behavior
You better stay home tonight
'Cause I'm on my worst behavior
She on her worst
If you wanna go, then go hard
This is not a night for weak hearts
If you wanna go then go hard

I don't really care what you think of me
Kinda my thing, baby
You don't need to judge how I blow off steam
Like you live perfectly
I am done, I'm sick of hearing it
I am done, fed up, ain't having it
I don't really care what you think of me
I don't care what you think of me

'Round and around and around and around
Pour me another round
Round and around and around and around
Keep 'em coming till I hit the ground

You better stay home tonight
'Cause I'm on my worst behavior
You better stay home tonight
'Cause I'm on my worst behavior
(She on her worst)
If you wanna go, then go hard
This is not a night for weak hearts
If you wanna go then go hard

I go round and around and around and around
Pour me another round
'Round and around and around and around
Keep 'em coming till I hit the ground