Be Kind

Page 1378

The world is shifting into a new direction.

All the Black Lives Matter protests that are popping up on my feed.

Heck, even our celebrities are using their platforms to voice out on it (Thank you Billie).

My faves (JoJo, Halsey etc) even went out to protest.

Thank you for that.

I hope something positive comes out of it.

Seeing everyone so united, really warms my heart.

After starting on the Jeffrey Epstein Docuseries, it's obvious enough about how corrupted some of our 'government' services are.

It is so scary.

Too much..

But the truth always prevails.

Until then.

Be kind, always.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Marshmello, Halsey - Be Kind

Wanna believe
Wanna believe
That you don't have a bad bone in your body
But the bruises on your ego make you go wild, wild, wild, yeah
Wanna believe
Wanna believe
That even when you're stone cold
You're sorry
Tell me why you gotta be so out of your mind, yeah

I know you're chokin' on your fears
Already told you I'm right here
I will stay by your side
Every night

I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
I

I know you need, I know you need
The upper hand even when we aren't fighting
'Cause in the past, you had to prepare every time, yeah
Don't wanna leave, don't wanna leave
But if you're gonna fight then do it for me
I know you're built to love, but broken now, so just try
Yeah

I know you're chokin' on your fears
Already told you, I'm right here
I will stay by your side
Every night

I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah

I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair
Going sick in the head, tryna get you there
And I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair
It's not fair

I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah, ah
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah

Sorry

Page 1377

Selamat Fucking Hari Raya.

While everyone else is busy eating good food and dressed up in traditional costumes, happily video calling one another, the atrocities at home got out of hand this morning.

Another fight.

Yeah, well, what do you expect?

'Oh, I'm sorry?'

Is it as simple as that?

I wonder what my Mum was thinking.

''Forced forgiveness'' is such a ridiculous concept.

Her intentions were pure. But really, it did not help at all.

In fact, it made things worse.

And clear - that there was no hope for reconciliation.

It's been a while since I've screamed at anyone.

And I do not like to, at all.

I have my childhood traumas too.

And most of it revolved around the family fights.

The violence.

Where do you think my anxiety & abandonment issues came from?

Because everyone's so fucking hostile here.

But hey, who the fuck cares about the psychological impacts of your actions on your younger brothers right?

:)

Yeah, everyone is selfish in their own ways.

We had a long discussion.

Wrongdoings were addressed - and that was much appreciated, at least.

And we came to a conclusion that there is no more 'family'.

Not a full one anyway.

Peace is officially disrupted - with tension in the air.

So yeah.

This is how it goes.

And it's for the best.

I just cant wait to move the fuck out of here.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Aquilo - Sorry 

The note you wrote upon a shell
The frozen air in Silverdale
My heart is breaking by the shore
And I couldn't give you anymore

And I'm still shaking
And crawling back again
And all my brothers
And all my sisters are gone

I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry that the feeling shows
But I just wasn't there
I'm reminded of the fool I was
I cut you off and fucked it up again
I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared

This pillow case it smells of you
And time itself it stops to prove
That for a moment nothings changed
And everything just stays the same

And I'm still shaking
And crawling back again
And all my brothers
And all my sisters are gone

I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry that the feeling shows
But I just wasn't there
I'm reminded of the fool I was
I cut you off and fucked it up again
I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared

I left the light on
So you could see me from the dark
But then it blinded us
And left us where we are

I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry that the feeling shows
but i just wasn't there
I'm reminded of the fool I was
I cut you off and fucked it up again
I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared

Lonely Star

Page 1376

Today caught me off guard.

But I'm trying to stay positive.

Guess this extra time will do me some good.

I've been thinking a lot about the future.

Researching on plans, insurance, investments and managing my finances.

It really is a headache.

We all are really just trying to keep on living.

But is all this trouble worth it, in the end?

Will we even still be alive tomorrow?

If only it was a straight road.

I'm a lonely star.

I guess I've always been.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Oh Wonder - Lonely Star

Literally at this second
Like in everything that's happening in the world
Being a human is pretty much the hardest thing to be

Backseat, sat at the local bar
Dressed to the nines to impress the dark
Damn, they sure look good together
I'm just hoping for good weather

Lost it all when I heard the sound
Windows down and the power's out
Damn, they sure look good together
I'm just struck down in bad weather

I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?

Words are there but they don't come out
Not my best at singing loud
Damn, I sure can't make it better
I'm just hoping for bad weather

I guess I'll be a somebody that nobody knows
Guess I'll never find the one that I can call home
Home, home

I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?

I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
I'm a lonely star
Is there anybody out there?
Is there anybody out there?

Rain On Me

Page 1375 

My day finally ended.

Walked to the train station with my colleague.

With the rain on me.

She offered her umbrella but I couldn't be bothered.

It's been a long, draining week.

With lots of eventful things happening at work.

I heaved a big sigh, relieved that I finally had the weekends off.

To recover. Re-energise.

Mentally & emotionally.

We talked about a lot of things.

Our work.

Certain annoying staffs.

Even about the late colleague.

I felt like we would've been really good friends.

He sounded so much like me.

A real doppelgänger.

How strange, the universe placed me in this place.

Until today, I can never understand why.

I'm one month in already.

More or less I've gotten used to things here.

There's a lot of potential to grow.

And I just hope that I can live up to it.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lady Gaga, Ariana Grande - Rain On Me

I didn't ask for a free ride
I only asked you to show me a real good time
I never asked for the rainfall
At least I showed up, you showed me nothing at all

It's coming down on me
Water like misery
It's coming down on me
I'm ready, rain on me

I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive
Rain on me, rain, rain
Rain on me, rain, rain
I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive
Rain on me, rain, rain
RAIN. ON. ME.

Rain on me
Rain on me

Living in a world where no one's innocent
Oh, but at least we try
Gotta live my truth, not keep it bottled in
So I don't lose my mind
Baby, yeah

I can feel it on my skin
It's coming down on me
Teardrops on my face
Water like misery
Let it wash away my sins
It's coming down on me
Let it wash away

I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive
Rain on me, rain, rain
Rain on me, rain, rain
I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive
Rain on me, rain, rain
RAIN. ON. ME.

Rain on me
Rain on me
Oh yeah, yeah
Rain on me, ooh yeah
Rain on me
Rain on me

Hands up to the sky
I'll be your galaxy, I'm about to fly
Rain on me, tsunami
Hands up to the sky
I'll be your galaxy, I'm about to fly
RAIN. ON. ME.

I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive
Rain on me, rain, rain
Rain on me, rain, rain
I'd rather be dry, but at least I'm alive
Rain on me, rain, rain
RAIN. ON. ME.

I hear the thunder coming down, won't you rain on me?
Rain on me
I hear the thunder coming down, won't you rain on me?
RAIN. ON. ME.

Stuck With U

Page 1374

Heheh.

Had a fun day today.

What would Sundays be without each other's company?

Gaming, tv shows, and just.. relaxing.

Also, a food coma like no other.

Hahaha.

I'm such a baby.

Well that's because you treat me like one.

Your baby.

I'm stuck with u.

And I wouldn't mind that..

Forever.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Ariana Grande, Justin Bieber - Stuck With U

(That's just for fun)
(What?)

I'm not one to stick around
One strike and you're out, baby
Don't care if I sound crazy
But you never let me down
No, no
That's why when the sun's up I'm stayin'
Still layin' in your bed singin'

Got all this time on my hands
Might as well cancel our plans
I could stay here for a lifetime

So lock the door
And throw out the key
Can't fight this no more
It's just you and me
And there's nothing I, nothing I, I can do
I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

So go ahead and drive me insane
Baby, run your mouth
I still wouldn't change being
Stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you
I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you, baby

There's nowhere we need to be
No, no, no
I'ma get to know you better
Kinda hope we're here forever
There's nobody on these streets
If you told me that the world's ending
Ain't no other way that I could spend it

Got all this time in my hands
Might as well cancel our plans
I could stay here forever

So lock the door
And throw out the key
Can't fight this no more
It's just you and me
And there's nothing I, nothing I, I can do
I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

So go ahead and drive me insane
Baby, run your mouth
I still wouldn't change being
Stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you
I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

Baby, come take all my time
Go on, make me lose my mind
We got all that we need here tonight

I lock the door (Lock the door)
And throw out the key
Can't fight this no more (Can't fight this no more)
It's just you and me
And there's nothing I'd, nothing I'd rather do
I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

So go ahead and drive me insane
Baby, run your mouth
I still wouldn't change all this
Lovin' you, hatin' you, wantin' you
I'm stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with
You
Stuck with you, stuck with you, stuck with you

Old Wounds

Page 1373

Came across a blog of my colleague today.

I read a post regarding her dad's death, 5 years ago.

I actually teared up.

She did tell me briefly about it before.

But I didn't want to go so deep into it.

Out of respect.

Old wounds are just not meant to be reopened.

Reading it..

It was just.. so much more detailed.

And I could feel her mourning through her words.

I never realised how much this affected her.

That she had to go through all that.

I sympathise. & empathise.

She is really a strong woman

And I hope, she is in a better place today.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: PVRIS - Old Wounds

They say don't open old wounds
But you're still brand new
And all the flames you said you ran through
You got a little more to prove
One day I'll give you my heart
When it's not in two
They say don't open old wounds
But I'm going to

I think I could love you 'til the day that you die
If you let me love you when the timing is right
And if they said I had to, I swear I'd wait my whole life
I think I could love you 'til the day that you die

They say don't open old wounds
But this is still brand new
And I've got nothing left to lose besides you
And I've already lost you once
What more could you do?
They say don't open old wounds
But I want to

I think I could love you 'til the day that you die
If you let me love you when the timing is right
And if they said I had to, I swear I'd wait my whole life
I think I could love you 'til the day that you die

I think I could love you
Think I could love you
Think I could love you
Oh, I think I could love you
Think I could love you
Think I could love you
(Oh, I)

They say don't open old wounds
But this is still brand new
And I've got nothing left to lose besides you
And I've already lost you once
What more could you do?

I think I could love you
Think I could love you
Think I could love you
Oh, I think I could love you
Think I could love you
Think I could love you

I Like It When You Love Me

Page 1372

I like it when you love me.

Being around you makes me happy.

Contented. 

& Blessed.

I'm gonna miss you so much.

1 week without you will be like hell 🥵.

But we'll get through this.

It's for the best.

Also, I can't wait for Macs and the salons to re-open this week.

I need a good haircut.

I look like a caveman right now.

I'm sure everyone feels the same haha.

The week has ended so fast.

Hopefully.. we'll get through this thing, just as fast.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Oh Wonder - I Like It When You Love Me 

You haven't said 'I love you', 'I love you' in a long time
Is there something wrong with me?
You haven't touched my body, my body in a long time
Is there something I can't see?

Are we in too deep to take it all back?
'Cause, baby, when I sleep, I only dream black
Are we in too deep to take it all back?

I like it when you love me
I like it when you care
I like it when it's easy
And there ain't all this bad blood here
Don't like it when you hurt me
Don't like it when you swear
Just like it when you love me

I like it when you love me, love me
I like it when you love me, love me

We never seem to smile, smile like we used to
What is it you're going through?
We never drive for miles, talking like we used to
Can you feel it fading too?

Are we in too deep to take it all back?
'Cause, baby, when I sleep, I only dream black
Are we in too deep to take it all back?

I like it when you love me
I like it when you care
I like it when it's easy
And there ain't all this bad blood here
Don't like it when you hurt me
Don't like it when you swear
Just like it when you love me

I like it when you love me, love me
I like it when you love me, love me

I like it when you love me, love me
I like it when you love me, love me

Dead Horse

Page 1371

It feels like all of my favourite artists are dropping new projects this month.

Next on the list is my childhood heroine, Hayley Williams.

Her project 'Petals For Armor' just dropped.

I am incredibly proud of her.

For making such an intimate and raw record.

It is like reading her diary.

Of all the pains she's went through over the years.

It is therapy for her. 

Despite her refusing to make a solo record for so long.

She mentioned how the idea was inspired by the show 'Midsommar'.

One of my fave horror movies.

The ending when the main character is covered in flowers.

I guess she sought strength from that reference.

And it's turned into something magical.

I'm glad that she's still here.

Reconnecting with Zac Farro.

(whom directed her latest video)

Still making music.

Still fighting.

Beating her pain like a dead horse.

The last part of the songs are full of love and positivity.

Her resilience shows.

And I feel that she and JoJo can be best friends. HAHAHA.

It has all come to a full circle.

And I am super inspired.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Hayley Williams - Dead Horse

Every morning I wake up
From a dream of you
Holding me
Underwater
(Is that a dream or a memory?)

Held my breath for a decade
Dyed my hair blue
To match my lips
Cool of me to try
(Pretty cool I'm still alive)

I beat it like a dead horse
I beat it like a drum
Oh, I stayed with you too long
Skipping like a record
I sang along
To a silly little song

I said I beat it like a dead horse
I beat it like a drum
Oh, I stayed with you too long
Skipping like a record
I sang along
A shitty never ending song

Sometimes it's good to be
The bigger person
But I'm so small I can't compare
And after all, it's only fair
Yeah

I got what I deserved
I was the other woman first
Other others on the line
But I kept trying to make it work

I beat it like a dead horse
I beat it like a drum
Oh, I stayed with you too long
Skipping like a record
I sang along
To a silly little song

I said I beat it like a dead horse
I beat it like a drum
Oh, I stayed with you too long
Skipping like a record
I sang along
To your shitty little song

(Ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya)
(Ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya)

When I said goodbye, I hope you cried
When I said goodbye, I hope you cried
When I said goodbye, I hope you cried
When I said goodbye, I hope you cried

I beat it like a dead horse
I beat it like a drum
Oh, I stayed with you too long
Skipping like a record
I sang along
To a silly little song

I said I beat it like a dead horse
I beat it like a drum
Oh, I stayed with you too long
Skipping like a record
I sang along
And now you get another song

(Ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya)
(Ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya)
Now you get another song
(Ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya)
(Ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya) (ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya)
And now you get another song

Comeback

Page 1370

GOOD TO KNOW.

JoJo's Fourth Album.

Out now. :)

I'm super proud of her.

A comeback worth waiting for.

Her journey has not been an easy one.

She has been getting so much support lately.

Notably from even Mariah Carey herself.

She isolated herself just to focus on this album.

And it turned out amazing.

So much growth..

Self reflection

Sensuality.

And confidence.

On top of her flawless vocals.

And hard-hitting beats.

She's the reason I love music.

So thank you.

For never giving up.

I pray that this album will put her on top.

And reclaim her throne.

Awards and Grammys.

Everything.

Cause she deserves it.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo Ft Tory Lanez - Comeback

Trust me
It's so much better when you trust me
So fuckin' good, boy, it's disgusting
Tell me it's mine or I'ma lose my fuckin' mind
I need that dick all the time

It's crazy how we didn't talk for years
But we don't need to say much to get caught up
My body knows you like you've been the only one
Baby when we're makin' love

I'm selfish, gimme all that
Greedy bitch when I want that
Hit them splits like an acrobat
Talk my shit 'cause I'm so bad
With the lights off you can see me
Feel you right underneath me
You and me back with the repeat, repeat

Issa comeback
Missed your lovin' so bad
You make me come so fast
Oh yeah

And you know that
I'm gon' keep this on track
Glad we made a comeback
Oh yeah

I wanna put you in seven positions for seventy
Wait, we already did it, your wig was been splitted
Fuckin' you down on these countertops in kitchen
I'm lickin' your neck and I'm feelin' your spine twitch
You wake up and I hit from the side quick
It's a trick when I lick from the back of you
Then my tongue will flip that shit like a spatula
I like it nasty and you like it nasty
Shut the fuck up and come throw that shit at me
I got my tongue in your throat when I'm strokin' it fastly
And JoJo, you know I don't play no games in this
I got that type of dick that make a white girl crazy
Fuck you lazy, have you sayin'

I'm selfish, gimme all that
Greedy bitch when I want that
Hit them splits like an acrobat
Talk my shit 'cause I'm so bad
With the lights off you can see me
Feel you right underneath me
You and me back with the repeat, repeat

Issa comeback
Missed your lovin' so bad
You make me come so fast
Oh yeah

And you know that
I'm gon' keep this on track
Glad we made a comeback
Yeah, yeah

Hit them splits like an acrobat
Talk my shit 'cause I'm so bad
You and me back with the comeback
Comeback, yeah