In Your Room

 Page 1419

So grateful for the weekend.

Every weekend actually.

I find it really precious.

Just spending time with my partner, and doing the things we love.

All behind the four walls in your room.

We still talk fondly about how the stars always seem aligned for us.

They really are.

It is funny, how life works out.

After going through so much, we found each other.

I wouldn't change it any other way.

It is a blessing to find someone that I can connect with.

And I will always be thankful.

🥰💕💕

Love, Eran.

Ps Thanks JoJo, this song was definitely written for me haha. Pls check out her new Deluxe Album GOOD TO KNOW!!!!

Current Song Mood: JoJo - In Your Room 

So indecisive
Always be fighting
You make me so mad
But it gets me excited
Here face to face
I'm quickly reminded
That knowing your soul makes me
But you make me wanna

Lose my mind and
Scream out loud but
Mama says I should
Settle down
But why?
This feels so good right now

Cause when I'm in your room
Doing what we do
We gotta get that life shit right
You can get lost tonight
In your room
Doing what we do
Forget about the world outside
Just four walls and my body on you
In your room, in your room, in your room tonight (in your room)
In your room, in your room, everything's alright (everything's alright)

So much going on outside
I don't wanna think about life
You help me find relief
Even if it's temporary
So is anxiety
At least that's what they say to me
I don't know anymore
I just know you make me wanna

Lose my mind and
Scream out loud but
Mama says I should
Settle down
But why?
She ain't here right now

Cause when I'm in your room
Doing what we do
We gotta get that life shit right
You can get lost tonight
In your room
Doing what we do
Forget about the world outside
Just four walls and my body on you
In your room, in your room, in your room tonight (in your room)
In your room, in your room, everything's alright (everything's alright)

We can slow it down, down, down
We can speed it up if you like me to
Everything is good when we rendezvous
If they looking for me I'll be in your room

In your room, in your room, in your room tonight (in your room)
In your room, in your room, everything's alright (everything's alright)

Illicit Affairs

 Page 1418

So happy I could see you again :)

1 week apart is waaaay tooo loooong..

I don't even know how I survived.

(Well, we've survived longer.)

STILL. Work has never felt so draggy.

But we made it through.

Back to each other.

Like we always do.

😊

Thank you for pampering me today.

And entertaining my silliness.

Hahaha.

We're no illicit affair.

Truly, the best moments are shared together, in private.

Nothing else matters.

And I appreciate, every moment.

I am truly myself, around you.

My life has never been more colourful.

And it's all.. because of you. ❤️

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - Illicit Affairs

Make sure nobody sees you leave

Hood over your head
Keep your eyes down
Tell your friends you're out for a run
You'll be flushed when you return
Take the road less traveled by
Tell yourself you can always stop
What started in beautiful rooms
Ends with meetings in parking lots

And that's the thing about illicit affairs
And clandestine meetings
And longing stares
It's born from just one single glance
But it dies and it dies and it dies
...a million little times

Leave the perfume on the shelf
That you picked out just for him
So you leave no trace behind
Like you don't even exist
Take the words for what they are
A dwindling, mercurial high
A drug that only worked
The first few hundred times

And that's the thing about illicit affairs
And clandestine meetings
And stolen stares
They show their truth one single time
But they lie and they lie and they lie
...a million little times

And you wanna scream
Don't call me kid
Don't call me baby
Look at this godforsaken mess that you made me
You showed me colors you know I can't see you with anyone else
Don't call me kid
Don't call me baby
Look at this idiotic fool that you made me
You taught me a secret language I can't speak with anyone else
And you know damn well
For you I would ruin myself
...a million little times

Hoax

 Page 1417

They started talking about him again.

The late colleague.

I stood up and listened to them.

Recounting their experiences.

When they first heard the news.

How they reacted.

The disbelief they had.

The funeral they attended.

One of them was already tearing up.

I empathised.

They're still grieving.

And that's totally normal.

Then, they talked about me.

How surprised they were when they first saw me.

About how I was exactly like him.

My looks. My personality. The way I work.

It made sense, because people avoided me on my first day.

I understood now.

I wasn't a hoax. Just somebody.. else.

I just smiled.

Maybe I'm here for a reason.

For them to get by, and cope with their loss.

It felt weird at first.

But I've accepted it by now.

It's beautiful in a way.

And I'm glad.. to be here.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - Hoax

My only one
My smoking gun
My eclipsed sun
This has broken me down
My twisted knife
My sleepless night
My winless fight

This has frozen my ground
Stood on the cliffside
Screaming, "Give me a reason"
Your faithless love's the only hoax
I believe in
Don't want no other shade of blue
But you
No other sadness in the world would do

My best laid plan
Your sleight of hand
My barren land
I am ash from your fire

Stood on the cliffside
Screaming "Give me a reason"
Your faithless love's the only hoax
I believe in
Don't want no other shade of blue
But you
No other sadness in the world would do

You know I left a part of me back in New York
You knew the hero died, so what's the movie for
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars
From when they pulled me apart
You knew the password, so I let you in the door
You knew you won, so what's the point of keeping score?
You knew it still hurts underneath my scars
From when they pulled me apart
But what you did was just as dark
Darling, this was just as hard
As when they pulled me apart

My only one
My kingdom come undone
My broken drum
You have beaten my heart

Don't want no other shade of blue
But you
No other sadness in the world would do

Daylight

 Page 1416

It's been a looong week at work.

So I'm just glad that I have the weekends off this time.

:)

It was a productive day I must say.

We were out early in the daylight.

Managed to beat the crowd for breakfast at MacDs.

Went to Starbucks for their Strawberry Lemonade Ice Shaken Tea. (My current obsession 😍)

Then proceeded to IKEA afterwards.

It was a pretty chill day indeed.

We went around and my partner ended up buying a bin.

Yes. We went to IKEA just for that.

Hahaha. I swear we are so comical.

We had lunch at the foodcourt. 

It took a while to find it, and a security guard ended up telling us to 'make your mind up' as we were literally going in and out the exit.

Yes sir, pretty much sums up our life. 😐

Meatballs were a must. But the rest of the food there was.. honestly... 

DRY AS FFFFFU-.

So disappointing.

Okay.

We went back home and settled.

Just nice, it rained. Cuddle weather.

Watched the latest Korean zombie movie Alive.

I must say, I kind of liked it.

Even though there were cheesy moments, I found them sweet hahaha.

And the zombies are really creepy! And smart.

The ending gave me a Resident Evil vibe, and is potential for more sequels in the future.

Cant wait!!

K. That sums up my day.

Oh and the Cheesecake from IKEA is absolutely... dry and bad.

Wont be going back there for a while.

💀💀💀💀

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Joji & Diplo - Daylight

Wide awake, getting half past zero

It's getting heated so I leave the windows open (Leave the windows open)
Preoccupied with the late night B-roll
Right now, laying here alone is heaven (alone is heaven)

And I've been a hero
Helpless
I'm in Hell

And I've cried
Up and down in these hallways
Blame myself

Bad luck, I don't wanna be home at midnight
Sun's up, I don't really wanna fight the daylight
I don't care if you moved on
I'm not laying in bed with a fucked up head
I'm not laying in bed with a fucked up

Sun-dried on the backyard patio
Drunk eyes
'Cause I didn't give it a home run

You're hiding on the FM radio
I sing along just to sing my thoughts at someone

And I've been a hero
Helpless
I'm in Hell

And I've cried
Up and down in these hallways
Blame myself

Bad luck, I don't wanna be home at midnight
Sun's up, I don't really wanna fight the daylight
I don't care if you moved on
I'm not laying in bed with a fucked up head
I'm not laying in bed with a fucked up

My Future

 Page 1415

Been thinking about my future a lot.

And I guess the next sensible step was to get myself protected & covered.

Insurance & investments. Is this what adulting feels like? Haha.

Shieeet.

It feels so much better tho.

Knowing you're doing what you can.

To keep living.

It is for my own good anyway.

And I cant wait to see the end results from it.

Thanks Buddy for the advises and catch-up tonight.

Till next time! 

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Eilish - My Future

I can't seem to focus

And you don't seem to notice
I'm not here
I'm just a mirror
You check your complexion
To find your reflection's all alone
I had to go
Can't you hear me?
I'm not comin' home
Do you understand?
I've changed my plans

'Cause I, I'm in love
With my future
Can't wait to meet her
And I (I), I'm in love
But not with anybody else
Just wanna get to know myself

I know supposedly I'm lonely now (Lonely now)
Know I'm supposed to be unhappy
Without someone (Someone)
But aren't I someone? (Aren't I someone? Yeah)
I'd (I'd) like to be your answer (Be your answer)
'Cause you're so handsome (You're so handsome)
But I know better
Than to drive you home
'Cause you'd invite me in
And I'd be yours again

But I (I), I'm in love (Love, love, love, love)
With my future
And you don't know her
And I, I'm in love (Love, love)
But not with anybody here
I'll see you in a couple years

Pure Love

 Page 1414

It was a nice Monday today.

Worked on a public holiday.

And that was fine, as I had my mentor around.

We work really great together.

After work, rushed over to my partner's.

The weather today was death.

I was sweating the moment I stepped out of the house. 😐

Spent the rest of the day, stuffing down on food & ice cream, and watched Impetigore.

It was surprisingly good, for an Indon movie! 

And quite explicit as well.

Very Ari-Aster inspired. Loved it.

Slept the rest of the day away.

With me and my partner embracing each other.

Silly conversations & laughter.

Eyes full of pure love.

I'm gonna miss you a lot.

See you soon. x

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Hayley Williams - Pure Love 

Huh

The opposite
The opposite of love is fear
I'm still trying to get (Hm)
Used to how the former feels
'Cause it feels so new
You think you know me
Wait 'till I open up to you

If I want pure love
Must stop acting so tough
(I give a little, you give a little, we get a little, sentimental)
If I want your love
Ooh, got to open up
(I give a little, you give a little, we get a little, sentimental)

A deeper way
A deeper way to understand
To understand the line between
Who you are and who I am, baby
'Cause to let you in (I want your love, I want your love now)
Is true compromise (I want your love, I want your love now)
Not just the friction of our skin

If I want pure love
Must stop acting so tough
(I give a little, you give a little, we get a little, sentimental)
If I want your love
Ooh, got to open up
(I give a little, you give a little, we get a little, experimental)

I guess, I guess (I guess, I guess)
I could, I guess (I could, I guess)
Guess I oughta to clean up these bloody fists if it's alright
And yes, I guess (I guess, I guess)
It's for the best (It's for the best)
Guess you really got to call your own bluff if you want pure love
(If I want your love)

If I want pure love
Must stop acting so tough
(I give a little, you give a little, we get a little, sentimental)
If I want your love
Ooh, got to open up
(I give a little, you give a little, we get a little, sentimental)

If I want your love
(If I want your love)
(I want your love, I want your love
I want your love, I want your love now)
(I want your love, I want your love, I want your love, I want your love now)
(I give a little, you give a little, we give a little, sentimental)
And if I want your love
(If I want your love)
(I want your love, I want your love
I want your love, I want your love now)
(I give a little, you give a little, we give a little, sentimental)

Peace

 Page 1413

Happy National Day.

🙄

Hahaha.

I have not felt patriotic in a long time.

But I am indeed, thankful for my country's security and peace.

Something we tend to take for granted, as compared to the rest of the world.

That, is one of the few things I can be proud of over here.

That aside, it was nice to see the fireworks from my partner's bedroom.

The last fireworks we saw together was on New Years :)

It brought back really great memories.

Spent the morning out, our usual breakfast routine.

And spent the afternoon resting indoors.

'Don't you feel like you're missing out, at your age?'

Never.

I have an old soul. Haha.

I feel like I've seen enough.

I'm contented, where I am.

All I've ever wanted was someone to spend my time with.

To love & care for.

To make me feel at peace.

And I've got that. 

:)

x

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - Peace

Our coming of age has come and gone

Suddenly this summer it's clear
I never had the courage of my convictions
As long as danger is near
And it's just around the corner, darlin'
'Cause it lives in me
No, I could never give you peace

But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think love's for show
But I would die for you in secret
The devil's in the details
But you got a friend in me
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?

Your integrity makes me seem small
You paint dreamscapes on the wall
I talk shit with my friends
It's like I'm wastin' your honor

And you know that I'd
Swing with you for the fences
Sit with you in the trenches
Give you my wild, give you a child
Give you the silence that only comes when two people understand each other
Family that I chose now that I see your brother as my brother
Is it enough?
But there's robbers to the east
Clowns to the West
I'd give you my sunshine
Give you my best
But the rain is always gonna come
If you're standing with me

But I'm a fire and I'll keep your brittle heart warm
If your cascade ocean wave blues come
All these people think love's for show
But I would die for you in secret
The devil's in the details
But you got a friend in me
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?
Would it be enough
If I could never give you peace?

The Last Great American Dynasty

 Page 1412

Phew.

Feels like I can finally breathe.

Workload seems to be piling up.

But I am just trying my best to do what I can.

Even if... others push their work to me.

I'll just fuckin do it?? I don't care haha.

My senior told me today;

'Adek, I've been observing a lot. You need to learn how to say No.'

I just smiled.

Cause truth is, I don't know how to say 'no'.

Maybe because I know I can handle it.

Even though I have a lot on my plate.

It's just.. I'm so used to helping others.

And just ... wanting to get things done.

That's just me.

But I hope, that people don't take advantage of me because of that.

A lot of people helped me today, and I am grateful..

They know how hard I work.

Now I just need to unwind & detox.

Before the next week rolls in.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - The Last Great American Dynasty

Rebekah rode up on the afternoon train, it was sunny

Her saltbox house on the coast took her mind off St. Louis
Bill was the heir to the Standard Oil name, and money
And the town said "How did a middle class divorcée do it?"

The wedding was charming, if a little gauche
There's only so far new money goes
They picked out a home and called it "Holiday House"
Their parties were tasteful, if a little loud
The doctor had told him to settle down
It must have been her fault his heart gave out

And they said "There goes the last great American dynasty"
Who knows, if she never showed up what could've been
There goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything

Rebekah gave up on the Rhode Island set forever
Flew in all the Bitch Pack friends from the city
Filled the pool with champagne and swam with the big names
And blew through the money on the boys and the ballet
And losing on card game bets with Dalí

And they said "There goes the last great American dynasty"
Who knows, if she never showed up, what could've been
There goes the most shameless woman this town has ever seen
She had a marvelous time ruining everything

They say she was seen on occasion
Pacing the rocks staring out at the midnight sea
And in a feud with her neighbor
She stole his dog and dyed it key lime green
Fifty years is a long time
Holiday House sat quietly on that beach
Free of women with madness
Their men and bad habits, and then it was bought by me

Who knows, if I never showed up what could've been
There goes the loudest woman this town has ever seen
I had a marvelous time ruining everything
I had a marvelous time
Ruining everything
A marvelous time
Ruining everything
A marvelous time
I had a marvelous time

Seven

 Page 1411

Happy Anniversary.

1 year & 7 months with you.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Always thinking about you.

About if I even deserve you.

About how you've changed my life.

And made me want to live a simpler, peaceful life.

Thank you for always being there..

See you soon.

x

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - Seven

Please picture me
In the trees
I hit my peak at seven
Feet
In the swing
Over the creek
I was too scared to jump in, but I, I was high
In the sky
With Pennsylvania under me
Are there still beautiful things?

Sweet tea in the summer
Cross your heart, won't tell no other
And though I can't recall your face
I still got love for you
Your braids like a pattern
Love you to the moon and to Saturn
Passed down like folk songs
The love lasts so long

And I've been meaning to tell you
I think your house is haunted
Your dad is always mad and that must be why
And I think you should come live with
Me and we can be pirates
Then you won't have to cry
Or hide in the closet
And just like a folk song
Our love will be passed on

Please picture me
In the weeds
Before I learned civility
I used to scream
Ferociously
Any time I wanted

Sweet tea in the summer
Cross my heart, won't tell no other
And though I can't recall your face
I still got love for you
Pack your dolls and a sweater
We'll move to India forever
Passed down like folk songs
Our love lasts so long

Never Quite Right

Page 1410

I wish the world could just stop.

For one second.

And just let me breathe.

Cause I feel like it's been constantly running through me.

Today was a really long day.

I cant say that I didn't have fun.

I did.

It's been a while since I was out and about.

Facing my fears and going on adventures.

But I wish it turned out better.

Safer.

It was never quite right.

Cause in the end, a lot of people got hurt.

And that includes me.

Right now, I just want to shut the world out.

And bury myself away.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Rei Brown - Never Quite Right

I can't tell you where this road goes

'Cause I've been driving with my eyes closed

And we're too scared to say

That we made a mistake

But just hear me out

We got lost in this place

And there's no one to blame

But we're falling down

And the longer we wait

It gets harder to say

So I'll say it now

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite-

We stayed up

Just to see the sunrise

Feels like

This could be the last time

And i really believed

You were all that i need

But i'm filed with doubt

Can't you see that the heat

That is building beneath

'Cause we're burning out

It was you it was me

At a dangerous speed

Now we're spinning out

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite right

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Maybe it was never quite

Mirrorball

Page 1409

Recently I got my own uniform at work. (Finally)

It wasn't my own tho. It was oversized and left behind by previous nurses.

But I loved it.

It was a comfortable size for me.

Everyone from the past few days has been pretty encouraging.

'So handsome!'

'Wah finally wearing blue!'

'Wow you look good in that.'

'Welcome to the club. :)'

'You remind me of our arwah last time.'

'May you have a lasting career ahead.'

Some of the countless comments I've gotten.

It feels really good.

To finally be a part of something.

Shining, like a mirrorball.

I feel contented. And grateful.

And that's all I've ever wanted.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - Mirroball

I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself tonight
I'll get you out on the floor
Shimmering beautiful
And when I break it's in a million pieces

Hush
When no one is around, my dear
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you

I want you to know
I'm a mirrorball
I can change everything about me to fit in
You are not like the regulars
The masquerade revelers
Drunk as they watch my shattered edges glisten

Hush
When no one is around, my dear
You'll find me on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you
Hush
I know they said the end is near
But I'm still on my tallest tiptoes
Spinning in my highest heels, love
Shining just for you

And they called off the circus
Burned the disco down
When they sent home the horses
And the rodeo clowns
I'm still on that tightrope
I'm still trying everything to get you laughing at me
I'm still a believer but I don't know why
I've never been a natural
All I do is try, try, try
I'm still on that trapeze
I'm still trying everything
To keep you looking at me

Because I'm a mirrorball
I'm a mirrorball
I'll show you every version of yourself
Tonight

This Is Me Trying

Page 1408

Ok wow.

Love this new blogger layout.

You guys cant see it, but its edit interface is completely new.

Cool.

Anyways.

Today was quite a hectic day.

With people testing my patience. 

And annoying managers who have nothing better to do.

But I somehow made it through.

Without breaking down. (almost blanked out)

The mood was somehow lighter amongst my colleagues.

Discussions about the new company.

And other random things.

I guess I'm starting to get comfortable with everyone.

And vice versa.

:)

I'll do things at my own pace.

At my.. personal best.

This is me trying.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - This Is Me Trying

I've been having a hard time adjusting
I had the shiniest wheels, now they're rusting
I didn't know if you'd care if I came back
I have a lot of regrets about that
Pulled the car off the road to the lookout
Could've followed my fears all the way down
And maybe I don't quite know what to say
But I'm here in your doorway

I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad
I have a lot of regrets about that
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
Fell behind all my classmates and I ended up here
Pourin' out my heart to a stranger
But I didn't pour the whiskey

I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

At least I'm trying

And it's hard to be at a party
When I feel like an open wound
It's hard to be anywhere these days
When all I want is you
You're a flashback in a film reel
On the one screen in my town

And I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying (Maybe I don't quite know what to say)
I just wanted you to know
That this is me trying

At least I'm trying

Invinsible String

Page 1407

'I'm still here.'

And that's all I ever needed to hear.

Thank you for making time for me today.

I've missed you so much.

No words.. can explain.

It's like we're binded by invinsible strings.

We can never be apart for too long, haha.

I'm glad we could meet today, before the long week ahead.

:)

I love you with all my heart.

Get well soon. 

x

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - Invinsible String

Green was the color of the grass where I used to read at Centennial Park
I used to think I would meet somebody there
Teal was the color of your shirt when you were 16 at the yogurt shop
You used to work at to make a little money

Time
Curious time
Gave me no compasses
Gave me no signs
Were there clues I didn't see?
And isn't it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?

Bad was the blood of the song in the cab on your first trip to LA
You ate at my favorite spot for dinner
Bold was the waitress on our three-year trip getting lunch down by the Lakes
She said I looked like an American singer

Time
Mystical time
Cutting me open, then healing me fine
Were there clues I didn't see?
And isn't it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?

A string that pulled me
Out of all the wrong arms right into that dive bar
Something wrapped all of my past mistakes in barbed wire
Chains around my demons
Wool to brave the seasons
One single thread of gold tied me to you

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind for the boys who broke my heart
Now I send their babies presents
Gold was the color of the leaves when I showed you around Centennial Park
Hell was the journey but it brought me heaven

Time
Wondrous time
Gave me the blues and then purple pink skies
And it's cool
Baby with me
And isn't it just so pretty to think
All along there was some
Invisible string
Tying you to me?

My Tears Ricochet

Page 1406

I woke up, teary today.

It's been a quiet day.

Too quiet.

I didn't want to dwell on my feelings.

So I did what I could to fill up this void.

Tried to sleep it off.

Went to my bestie's in the afternoon.

Spent some time with her and caught up with each other.

It's been months.

The last we met was.. before circuit breaker.

So much has happened in our lives.

Im thankful. For her company.

It kept my mind off things for a while.

But something was still missing.

I found myself sad again.

That feeling of.. abandonment crept up.

And now I'm spiralling again.

I didn't have it in myself to go in grace.

So I'll just be, right here.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - My Tears Ricochet

We gather here
We line up weeping in a sunlit room
And if I'm on fire
You'll be made of ashes, too

Even on my worst day
Did I deserve, babe
All the hell you gave me?
'Cause I loved you
I swear I loved you
Till my dying day

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
And you're the hero flying around saving face
And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?
Cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet

We gather stones
Never knowing what they'll mean
Some to throw
Some to make a diamond ring
You know I didn't want to
Have to haunt you
But what a ghostly scene
You wear the same jewels
That I gave you
As you bury me

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
'Cause when I'd fight, you used to tell me I was brave
And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake?
Cursing my name
Wishing I'd stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet

And I can go anywhere I want
Anywhere I want
Just not home
And you can aim for my heart, go for blood
But you would still miss me in your bones
And I still talk to you
When I'm screaming at the sky
And when you can't sleep at night
You hear my stolen lullabies

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace
And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves
You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same
Cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
You turned into your worst fears
And you're tossing out blame
Drunk on this pain
Crossing out the good years
And you're cursing my name
Wishing I stayed
Look at how my tears ricochet