Celebration Song

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Time really flies when you're having fun. Here's a recap of my week:

Hari Raya Aidilfitri

Ramadhan's finally ended. It felt like a really short period of time tbh. But I'm thankful that I got to spend most of mine at home on hospitalisation leave, as I had the chance to break fast with my family. I'm so consumed by work all the time that I rarely get that opportunity, so this was a blessing in disguise. Worked on Hari Raya cause.. well what the heck, not like we can go out any way. Haha. At least I got to spend the morning with them. And we did the traditional ask-for-forgiveness shit. Hahaha. Awkward as always. Mine is always short and sweet. 😝 But the moments after made me feel good, because ya know, there's no point holding any resentments.

2nd Circuit Breaker

Well, our outdoor movement is once again restricted due to the rising COVID cases in the community. Ah well, at we have some time to react. Plus I liked it better during circuit breaker when the trains were less crowded. LOL. I would like to experience working from home though. But on second thoughts, maybe not 🤣.

Last kopek

Last kopek (chance) to go dine out, so I decided to go JEMS with le partner. Hehe. Usually we'd be lazy and just hang out at home, but the thought of being cooped up for 3 weeks and possible longer was just a no-no. 

Hung out at Starbucks & we managed to go on a last minute date at Fish & Co. How nice, it's been a whileeee. Plus we had quite a nice seat. And the food was really reallyyy good. Walked at the newly-opened IKEA too! It was a bittttt disappointing to be honest. And I bought a new rug just for the heck of it. Haha. Also, cant wait to try the cafe next time! It was funny cause we encountered a number of couple fighting there haha. Chill guys, its no biggyyyy.

A shoutout to my partner, for always pampering the heck out of me. I love you to the moon & back. 💕

Stay safe guys. Stay home. Until next time.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Holding Absence - Celebration Song

I'm alive
I'm alive

To the existential dread
I let run through my head:
The truth is that you hurt me for so long
And here's my celebration song

I know that years from now
When my final flame runs out
I'll be a grain of sand
Running through a stranger's hand

But right now

I'm alive
I'm alive
I'm alive
I lived to see today
I lost so much along the way
And that's fine
'Cause I'm alive

I've been so hurt for so long
I've been so hurt for so long
I've been so hurt for so long
I've been so hurt for so long

I'm done
Trying to run
From all the things that make me feel alive
For fear that I might just catch fire

'Cause I've earned
A couple days amongst the sun
God knows I've more than paid my dues
For all the months that I didn't want to live through
The sleepless nights, the bloodshot eyes
This blissful pain contextualized
I went to deaths door
He let me inside
But for all my want
He couldn't look me in the eyes
So I

I've been so hurt for so long

Suicide

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And the first week of May ends.

Been getting more and more busy these days, and missed out on blogging.

So I guess I'll just summarise everything.

Let's try a new format :)

Back To Work

The day I dreaded came. After 2 and a half weeks away from work, I was quite worried about how I will adapt when I came back. Honestly, it didnt take a lot. I was back to the usual routine after a day and I was glad that I still had 'it'. It was good being productive again, and seeing people who missed me. It's good to be back.

Gym Closure

Been receiving a lot of comments about my weight loss. Hopefully I can keep this up. It's been a long time coming.. haha. But I'm glad there are at least some results. It's taken a lot for me to feel comfortable in my skin. I'm guessing the fasting and the compound exercises I've been doing are paying off. Not to mention the soft diet I had when I had my wisdom teeth removed. Alas, the gym will be closed for 3 weeks. I hope I can surviveeeee. 

Happy Mother's Day

Celebrated Mother's Day with the family yesterday. Decided to get my Mum a cake because, what the heck, she deserves it. I know I rarely talk about family, but I've grown to realise how they're still important to me. They are really, all you have.

Suicide

Recently my partner's been expressing some.. dark thoughts. Not gonna lie, I've been worried sick. Seeing you today, and being yourself again has give me some ease. The challenges faced this month are exceptionally great, but without a doubt, you'll come out stronger. And just know, that I'm always here for you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Isaac Dunbar - Suicide

Suicide, baby, it's the worst
Think about the people that you'll hurt
They won't even care about the things I'll choose to do
Because all I am is all that I've been through

My skin is very young
But my heart is very old
My mind thinks lips and tongue
But my bones decide my home
My fears ran through my lungs
And my eyes only saw gold
My room's where my throat hung
And my fingers turned purple

It's not worth it, baby, I would know
My mom walked in her sunny day went to snow
What's the point of being here, baby, I won't see them cry
I'll be somewhere in the clouds, I hope, tonight

My skin is very young
But my heart is very old
My mind thinks lips and tongue
But my bones decide my home
My fears ran through my lungs
And my eyes only saw gold
My room's where my throat hung
And my fingers turned purple

Then I saw that death was not my treasure
That my life was headed for gold
When my gold-chained-noose applied some pressure
I fought till I bled cold

My skin is very young
But my heart is very old
My mind thinks lips and tongue
But my bones decide my home
My fears ran through my lungs
And my eyes only saw gold
My room's where my throat hung
And my fingers turned purple