My Own

 Page 1516

Do I have the right?

To be feeling whatever I'm feeling right now?

Am I allowed to? 

Because I feel selfish. I feel wrong. Why do I feel this way?

Because you don't feel good. - You haven't been for some time.

Do I give in? I do right? Because it's the right thing. 

Right?

It's because I've planned it in advanced. 

It's because I hate when things don't work out the way I've planned in my head.

Like how I was looking forward to it the whole day.

Prepared for it.

Because I wanted to do it with you.

Because I can't see you tomorrow.

Took the effort to plan. Friday night instead of Saturday because I know that you're working out Sunday morning.

I drank coffee cause I was prepared to stay up.

These little things yet. I feel like I'm the petty one. Maybe I am.

Why?

Just.

Why is it that I always have to be the bigger person?

To give in and say it's okay.

'It's fine.'

When really, it's not.

I really don't have anyone to talk this out to.

I don't think I want to.

Because it's really not a big deal.

Honest.

But it's the little things that seem to hurt the most.

Or maybe I'm just an emotional wreck right now.

Just.. trying to hold my own.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: H.E.R. - My Own

Said I been away too long
Every time I hear that song
I don't wanna hear it no more
Baby I can't take no more from you
I don't wanna play no more
Don't be going back and forth on me
I be already on call
Even when I know it's wrong for me

Something
Don't know but it's something
I don't wanna work for something knowing it ain't worth it, no
Coming
You knew it was coming
You should know that I don't act like that without a purpose, no

Call me crazy baby, you just bring outta me
I'm tryna do better, but you ain't been helping me
Baby I can't help it, you know how to get to me
I, I...

I been tryna hold my own
My own, my own
Oh baby on my own
My own, my own
Ooh...

Don't mind me, cuz it ain't bout you
We both need space, and that's all so true
Know it's okay, if you can't come through
I'm saving your place, and it's all for you

We been waiting too long
I be tryna keep calm
Either way we both wrong
I been waiting on a call
Ooh I really wanna call you
I been tryna be strong
You're the only I wanna talk to

Ah yeah, you just know me better
And it just gets better
Just let me undress ya
On you, on you...
I just love to feel it
When you go inside it
And I get excited
Ooh...
You...
You...

Baby, you keep showing out
But I just can't slow it down
Cuz I just want you right now
With me now
Don't you keep on holding out
Giving me the run around
Are you just noticing now

I'm on my own
My own, my own
Ooh baby, on my own
My own, my own
I been tryna hold my own
My own, my own
I'm just tryna hold my own
My own, my own
Yeah...