Heartstopper

 Page 1549

Everyone shut up, I'm obsessed with this cute series. :(

I... 

I feel so represented.

Charlie Spring is me.

And everything I dreamt of growing up.

He's shy. Innocent. Apologetic. Cuddly. And so, so loving. He must be protected at all costs.

This series made me smile & squeal every episode. There were so many moments that made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Like falling in love for the first time.

A love so pure & uplifting.

No sex, drugs or swearing. Things that have been polluting us too much.

It was such a breath of fresh air.

A queer love finally being put in a positive light. 

There is hope after all.

I wish this show was out when I was younger & figuring things out.

My younger self would've really appreciated it.

I appreciated them showing Nick coming to terms with his sexuality.

Also of Tao putting his friends first, and overreacting over every small thing that threatened their friendship.

Things like this are so relatable as a coming of age teen. Even as a young adult today, I still relate.

Watch it if you want your heart to stop hahaha.

I really hope to see more. :)

 Having Heartstopper withdrawals. Bye.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Adiescar Chase - Heartstopper

All My Ghosts

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We're halfway through Ramadan, and honestly it's been going really great.

The fasting has actually helped me feel great mentally and physically.

I'm currently obsessed with Lizzy McAlpine. Accidentally found out about her through her Jacob Collier collab last year.

I watched her Five Seconds Flat film the other day with my partner, and fell in love immediately.

There's something so special about her music & what she's doing.

It's so personal. Nostalgic. Youthful. The storytelling is amazing. Dare I compare it to Folklore.

It's something so inspiring to me, and something I want to achieve one day.

An autobiographical piece of work.

Something that's who.. you are.

One day I'll put all my ghosts on display...

In the meantime, I'll just keep working on me.

:)

Love, Eran

Current Song Mood: Lizzy McAlpine - All My Ghosts

You got a Slurpee for free
I caught you lookin' at me in the 7-Eleven
Under fluorescent lights

We walked in comfy silence
Footsteps down familiar sidewalk
Knowing that we were here in our dreams last night

All my ghosts are with me
I know you feel them too
Ridin' shotgun next to your free Slurpee
They know all of my habits, but they don't know about you
I hope that's true
Mmm
Mmm, hmm

We made sangria and failed
I spilled mac and cheese on my pants
And thought about kissing you underneath kitchen lights

Oh, all my ghosts are with me
I know you feel them too
Oh, did you stand there while we were takin' shots of Brandy?
They know all of my habits, but they don't know about you
I hope that's true

I can see it now
The wedding of the year
I can see it now
He stands up there and wipes his tears
I can see it now
And all my ghosts disappear
I can see it crystal clear

You got a Slurpee for free
I caught you lookin' at me in the 7-Eleven
Under fluorescent lights

And all my ghosts were with me
I know you felt them too
Watchin' as I started to get dizzy
'Cause I hate all of my habits
But I happen to love you
I hope that's true

weird

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The dream that made me sob. 

I had a weird dream today. Almost like an out-of-body experience. 

I was in a body of an old man.

 

Walking through a backstage of a theatre. I went through the curtain and there was some sort of play/musical going on.

The crowd had a special vibe. I seemed to have enjoyed it.

I was about to leave and someone called out for me.

A mother and her small 5-year old daughter. She was the sweetest. Smiling gently.

‘We’re glad to have you here’

I sat down with them.

The daughter, with a short buzz cut came to me. She was such an angel. Smiling just as sweet. 

She whispered:

'Death leaves space for your loved ones'

I felt a wave of sadness and a big lump in my throat, and sobbed uncontrollably. 

The mother said something else.

''You are bitten by mold

And by mold you are reformed'' 

I'm not sure, I cant exactly picture the exact words. But it was along those lines.

Not that it makes any sense anyways.

At this point I woke up, Still sobbing.

Panting.

It was insane. I had never experienced this before.

It almost felt like a personal message for me.

One I'll hold dearly.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lizzy McAlpine - Weird

I've been having strange dreams
Seeing ghosts and breaking things
Room's on fire as I sit and watch it melt around me
I've been hosting screenings
Of slightly altered movie scenes
Seems familiar 'til I realize that they look just like me

Where am I? I can't find the door
How long have you been here for?
Where the houses all can talk
And I don't mind the creaky floors

And now we're in a basement
I feel wasted and I'm sure
That you'll kiss me anyway
That'll be just the thing to wake me

Maybe I'm weird or maybe I'm off the wall
But maybe it's weirder not to have dreamed at all

I can walk through walls now
Quietly I roam the halls
Suddenly I'm ten feet tall and I can touch the ceiling
I think I scared you off now
I'm regretting getting close hoping
It was just a ghost that sorta looked just like you

Where am I? I can't find the door
How long have I been here for?
Where the houses all can talk
And I don't mind the creaky floors

And now I'm in a maze
Down in this basement and I'm sure
That you'll miss me anyway
That'll be just the thing to wake me

Maybe I'm weird or maybe I'm off the wall
But maybe it's weirder not to have dreamed at all
Maybe I'm weird or maybe I'm off the wall
But maybe it's weirder not to have dreamed at all

Heart

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It's been a trying few weeks.

A lot of mental break downs at work.

Everyone keeps looking for me for help.

And I get so overwhelmed and suffocated.

I didn't... ask for this.

I'm quite convinced that I won't be staying here long.

The grass isn't greener on the other side after all.

It's just not the same. Not healthy for my mental health.

The next half of the year is going to be interesting.

We'll see where this goes.

I'm just.. gonna listen to my heart.

Meanwhile, I'm just thankful for my partner for keeping me sane.

Happy April & Ramadan everyone. :)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Forester, Madeline - Heart

[Verse 1]
Easy California feeling, we've been on the run
Still light, summer night, staying up to see the rising sun
In fleeting moments, I fall for the Serotonin in my mind
Got me hypnotized

[Chorus]
Tell me all of your secrets, promise that I can keep 'em
I wanna know your demons and open up your heart
Buried in your sweet silence, we can be undecided
Here in a world that's timeless, we'll open up our hearts
Open up our hearts
Tell me all of your secrets, promise that I can keep 'em
I wanna know your demons and opеn up your heart
Buried in your sweet silencе, we can be undecided
Here in a world that's timeless, we'll open up our hearts
Open up our hearts

[Verse 2]
Easy California feeling, we've been dreaming alone
West coast, skinny dipping, living while we're tripping on the road
In fleeting moments, I fall for the Serotonin in my mind
Got me hypnotized

[Chorus]
Tell me all of your secrets, promise that I can keep 'em
I wanna know your demons and open up your heart
Buried in your sweet silence, we can be undecided
Here in a world that's timeless, we'll open up our hearts
Open up our hearts

[Instrumental Break]

[Chorus]
Tell me all of your secrets, promise that I can keep 'em
I wanna know your demons and open up your heart
Buried in your sweet silence, we can be undecided
Here in a world that's timeless, we'll open up our hearts
Open up our hearts

[Instrumental Outro]