Normal Girl

Page 862

I couldnt believe it.

It was really her.

My heart warmed up instantly.

As she called out my name and acknowledged me.

Like old time friends.

And the fact that she still remembered me... 

After all these years.

I was pretty taken aback.

She was still the same.

Never changed.

From our old workplace till this new one.

Just a normal girl.

Pretty.

Outgoing.

The way she talked to the patients passionately.

Genuinely caring for them.

I was in awe.

And inspired, even.

She's always had that.. cool aura around her.

And the fact the she started just last week.

As new as I was.

Haha, what a coincidence. 

Fate is so funny.

I feel like...

This was meant to happen.

Everything happens for a reason.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: SZA - Normal Girl

You love the way I pop my top
Or love how I lose my cool
Or love how I look at you
Say why?
It ain't no fighting, no I can't stop it
This took a while, yeah
For the way I pump my fist or how I bust my hip
For your affection, tryna be down
No fighting and no stoppin'
Stick around

Wish I was the type of girl you take over to mama
The type of girl, I know my daddy, he'd be proud of
Yeah, be proud of
Be proud of, be proud, you know, you know
Wanna be a type of girl, you take home to your mama
The type of girl, I know your fellas would be proud of
Be proud of, be proud of, be proud of, boy you know
Normal girl
I wish I was a normal girl, oh my
How do I be? How do I be a lady?
Normal girl, oh
I wish I was a normal girl
I'll never be, no, never be uh

You like it, when I be, aggressive
You like when I say to you
"Get it if you got it, I'm ready and waitin' for it
I'm callin' to put it on", yeah
Like it, when I bet aggressive
Love when I say to you
"Get it if you want it, I'm ready and I'm on fire
I'm burnin' to put it on", yeah, yeah, yeah

Type of girl you wanna take home to mama
Wanna be the type of girl my daddy, he'd be proud of
Be proud of, be proud of, be proud of you know, you know
The type of girl you wanna take home right up to mama
The kind of girl, I know your fellas, they'd be proud of
I'll be probably, I'll be proud like, I'll be probably a problem, oh
(No fantasy, no fantasy)
I really wish a was a normal girl, oh my
How do I be, how do I be a lady?
Normal girl, oh
I wish I was a normal girl
I'll never be, no never be, uh

This time next year I'll be livin' so good
Won't remember your name, I swear
Livin' so good, livin' so good, livin' so good
This time next year I'll be livin' so good
Won't remember no pain, I swear
People got you figured out, I was just a normal girl

Normal girl, what do you say now?
We own the world, 'cause we not going away out
Wait on yourself 'cause you can figure your way out
Normal girl
Why do you, babe?

Everything In Me

Page 861

Adulthood has given me a tight slap across my face today.

The reality has hit me hard.

Sigh.

I miss the good old days already.

Im not sure if I can get used to this.

But I.. have to.

For my future.

For my family.

For myself.

Even if it takes.. everything in me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Sevyn Streeter - Everything In Me

This is captain-

Perfect, picture one so picture perfect
As your lies disguised as loving arms
The future looked so bright, but it was blinding
Oh, why couldn't see the man behind the charm?

Then we closed the doors and the lights came on
And I saw the real you
No, I don't like him
Don't like how it feels
I want a new you

It's taking everything in me
Not to hurt you like you hurt me
Cause I wanna get you back, but I gotta keep moving
Boy, I swear you don't know
It's taking everything in me

Searching, searching, still can't find an answer
Cause all this wasn't part of the plan
So now it [?]
Oh, where do we go from here?

Cause behind closed doors, when the lights are on
You become the real you
No, I don't like him
Don't like how it feels
I want a new you

It's taking everything in me
Not to hurt you like you hurt me
Cause I wanna get you back, but I gotta keep moving
Boy, I swear you don't know
It's taking everything in me

Sometimes people hurt you
That just means they don't deserve you
And you want to do the same to hurt them back
But this one's for you know who
You're the one who looks like a fool
And there's no greater revenge better than that

But it's still taking everything in me
Not to hurt you like you hurt me
And I just wanna get you back I gotta keep moving
Swear you just don't know
It's taking everything in me

Everything in me
Everything in me
Everything
Everything in me
Everything
Not to do to you
What you did to me

Hold Me By The Heart

Page 860

Even till now, I'm not sure about my feelings.

Not sure how to feel about it.

I'm not used to this.

The affection.

The reality of it.

But you're here.

And it's real.

Thank you.

For being there.

Having you to here to hold me by the heart.

And pick me up for good.

It feels special.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Kehlani - Hold Me By The Heart

Wasn't sure I'd be alright
Wasn't sure I'd be okay again
Didn't know how to take flight
Wings broken couldn't seem to bend

Somehow you came and like the wind, you picked me up for good
And now I know what I have missed, I've been thinking that you should

Pick up the pieces
Help me learn to stand
Lift me from the ground and use your hands
To hold me by the heart
Tell me I'll be whole again
Hold me by the heart
Tell me it will never end
'Cause I've begun to think that
I was nothing short of broken
So baby, hold me by the heart (hold me by the heart)
Help me fly again

Always read all the fairytales
Always knew that it would come
Through the pain I convinced myself
"It's only magical for some"

Somehow you came and like a prince and picked me up for good
And now I know what I have missed, I'm thinking that you should

Just pick up the pieces
Help me learn to stand
Lift me from the ground and use your hands
To hold me by the heart
Tell me I'll be whole again
And hold me by the heart
Tell me it will never end
'Cause I've begun to think that
I was nothing short of broken
So baby, hold me by the heart (hold me by the heart)
Help me fly again

(Pick up the pieces)
(Help me learn to stand) Help me learn to stand
(Lift me from the ground and)
(Use your hands) Use your hands
(Pick up the pieces) Hey
(Help me learn to stand) Help me learn to stand
(Lift me from the ground and)
(Use your hands) Use your hands
Use your hands
(Hold me by the heart)
(Hold me by the heart) Hold me by the heart
Tell me it would never end
'Cause I've begun to think that
I was nothing short of broken
So hold me by the heart
Help me fly again

Bastards

Page 859

You squeezed through the small space right in front of me.

Accidentally brushing against my legs.

Your hand landed on my leg. 

As a sign that you didnt meant it.

It stayed there.

Longer than it should have.

And then you went off.

I blushed.

What just happened?

--------------------------------------------------------

Wrapped up the last day of shooting.

It was fun while it lasted.

Woah...

Amazing to think how I was so awkward yesterday, not talking to anyone.

And today, we were playing games with each other and I was laughing my loudest.

I wasnt afraid of approaching anyone anymore.

Well, maybe most people.

I felt so warm today.

Knowing that it's all ended.

And that I've encountered so many talented people.

It really feels like I've been doing this for a long time.

This is where I'm meant to be.

I appreciate film so much.

I've always had.

And all the handwork put into it.

I hope for more opportunities in the future.

I want to build myself up...

And prove the bastards wrong.

:)

Love, Eran.

Just like him.

Current Song Mood: Kesha - Bastards

One, two, three, four, one...

I got too many people
I got left to prove wrong
All those motherfuckers
Been too mean for too long
And I'm so sick of crying, yeah
Darling, what's it for?
I could fight forever, oh
But life's too short

Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don't let the assholes wear you out
Don't let the mean girls take the crown
Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round
Don't let the bastards take you down

Been underestimated
My entire life
I know people gonna talk shit
And darling, that's fine
But they won't break my spirit
I won't let 'em win
I'll just keep on living, keep on living, oh
The way I wanna live

Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don't let the assholes wear you out
Don't let the mean girls take the crown
Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round
Don't let the bastards take you down
Don't let the bastards get you down, oh no
Don't let the assholes wear you out
Don't let the mean girls take the crown
Don't let the scumbags screw you 'round
Don't let the bastards take you down

Na na na...

(So was that a good one?
Should we go again?)

Stargirl (Interlude)

Page 858

My insecurities shot up today.

Especially after meeting so many talented good-looking people today.

Sigh.

That's always the case.

Sometimes I wish I was a little bit more outgoing..

But I'm not.

And that's because it runs in the blood.

I can't control it.

Today I met a wonder stargirl.

And how I wish,

I could be your starboy.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: The Weeknd Ft Lana Del Rey- Stargirl Interlude

[Lana Del Rey:]
I had a vision
A vision of my nails in the kitchen
Scratching counter tops, I was screaming
My back arched like a cat, my position couldn't stop you were hitting it
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, Starboy
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, (I love it), Starboy
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, Starboy
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, Starboy

[The Weeknd:]
I just want to see you shine 'cause I know you are a Stargirl
I just want to see you shine 'cause I know you are a Stargirl
I just want to see you shine 'cause I know you are a Stargirl
I just want to see you shine 'cause I know you are a Stargirl

All My Love

Page 857

Today was filled with so much laughter and love.

Wish there were more days like this. :)

Family is so important to me.

Friends are next.

And lovers, next.

Yea. In that order.

Maybe he's right.

Maybe I should just go for it.

Take the risk.

And save all my love for you.

:)

Maybe...

It's my time.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Sevyn Streeter - All My Love

I-I'm saving all the love
I'm saving all the love for you (for you, I...)
I'm saving all the love
I'm saving all the love for you

Ridin' round town in your black Impala
With my baby, yeah, that's my partner
Look the other way when they tryna holla
So unbothered, we're so unbothered
See I got niggas slidin' in my DMs
Stevie Wonderin' if I'mma ever see 'em
But I don't pay that shit no mind
No, I don't pay that shit, no doubt, no doubt
I just curve 'em from the A.M. to the P.M
Oh, baby, you're the reason
That none of these niggas can touch me
Ain't none of these niggas that lucky
No, no, no, no, no

Only you, yeah, it's only you that get my attention
Only you, I swear it's only you, ain't no competition, no
'Cause, baby, you give me everything that I've been missin'
That's why I'm saving all my love for you

(I'm saving all my love...)
Yeah yeah, saving all my love
Saving all my love for you
(I'm saving all my love...)
Saving, saving all my love, I'm saving all my love for you
Give it to nobody else, you got it all to yourself
Just keep doin' what you doin', baby
And I'mma keep saving all my love for you
Saving all my love for you, saving all my love for you
(I-I'm saving all the love
I'm saving all the love for you)

Yeah, if I had a hundred I would break you off a fifty
Yeah, I know you'd do the same, I know you'd split it with me
Yeah, all ya team Michael Jordan Scottie Pippen
Long as we got each other, I ain't trippin'
You the one, you the realest, you the realest

Only you, yeah, it's only you that get my attention
Only you, I swear it's only you, ain't no competition, no
'Cause, baby, you give me everything that I've been missin'
That's why I'm saving all my love for you

(I'm saving all my love...)
Saving, saving
Saving all my love
Saving all my love for you
(I'm saving all my love)
Saving all my love, saving all my love for you
You got it all to yourself
Just keep doin' what you doin', baby
And I'mma keep saving all my love for you, oh (oh yeah)
Saving all my love for you, saving all my love for you

All... my... love... for you
All... my... love... for you
You got it all to yourself
Just keep doin' what you doin' baby, yeah yeah
You got it all to yourself
Just keep doin' what you doin' baby, doin' what you doin' baby, yeah
You got it all to yourself
Just keep doin' what you doin' baby, doin' what you doin' baby, yeah yeah
You got it all to yourself
Just keep doin' what you doin' baby, doin' what you doin' baby

Oh, what you do to me, baby
Oh, what you do to me, baby

I-I'm saving all the love
I'm saving all the love for you (for you, I...)
I-I'm saving all the love
I'm saving all the love for you

Young

Page 856

Young love.

That's always special.

I remember when I was young & unexperienced.

So many things I didnt understand.

Today, I felt special.

Thanks for treating me that way.

I won't forget your innocent looks and your soft kisses.

And the little gift and note...

I'm touched.

I honestly didnt expect it.

It's hard when you're young.

Feeling like the world won't accept us.

But at least, we'll accept each other.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: The Chainsmokers - Young

Young
We were so young when we thought that we knew how to love
Fought about anything, everything led to dysfunction
But we just gotta own that shit
Don't let it go like this
Maybe we can grow from this, yeah

We both know I go too far like when I wrecked your car
And almost fought your father when he pushed me in the yard
And all those nights we snuck out, like to meet up at the bar
Don't worry, my love, we're learning to love
But it's hard when you're young

Yeah, it's hard when you're young

Caught
We were caught up in the high, it was better than drugs
Too high to see that it would all lead to destruction
At least we both know that shit
We just gotta own that shit
I hope that we can grow from this, yeah

We both know I go too far like when I wrecked your car
And almost fought your father when he pushed me in the yard
And all those nights we snuck out, like to meet up at the bar
Don't worry, my love, we're learning to love
But it's hard when you're young

Yeah, it's hard when you're young
Yeah, yeah, it's hard when you're young

I'm calling you up, you tell me it's over
Say what you want, but it's hard when you're young
I'm calling you up, you tell me it's over
You say what you want, but it's hard when you're young

We both know I go too far like when I wrecked your car
And almost fought your father when he pushed me in the yard
And all those nights we snuck out, like to meet up at the bar
Don't worry, my love, we're learning to love
But it's hard when you're young

I'm calling you up, you tell me it's over
Say what you want, but it's hard when you're young
I'm calling you up, you tell me it's over
You say what you want, but it's hard when you're young

Yeah, it's hard when you're young
Yeah, it's hard when you're young
Yeah, yeah, it's hard when you're young

I'm calling you up, you tell me it's over
Say what you want, but it's hard when you're young
I'm calling you up, you tell me it's over
You say what you want, but it's hard when you're young