The Thrill Of It All

Page 986

My heart slowly relaxed as the news broke to me.

Phew.

I saw it coming.. I hoped and I prayed.

I'm glad that I got to do this today.

At least I know...

That I'm still myself.

Today you texted me.

After 2 months..

What's the purpose of it?

Were you genuinely curious.

Or were you just rubbing it in my face.

I'm gonna set myself straight.

Set my priorities.

It's not worth it anymore..

This...

All of it.

The thrill of it all.

It doesn't.. last.

Never will.

Yeah.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Sam Smith - The Thrill Of It All

I regret that I told the world
That you were with me
And I regret how I showed the world
That you were pretty
I never thought I'd learn so much
So much from being lonely
But I guess I didn't learn enough
'Cause now you won't hold me

I guess I got lost in the moment
I guess I got lost in the fall
I guess I got lost in your heartbeat
In the thrill of it all
And I guess you were goddamn perfect

'Cause every single time you call
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
In the thrill of it all
In the thrill of it all

Even though we weren't in love
It was far from lust
Yeah, you were beautiful
But in you I could trust
Others they warned my heart
They said I would lose fast
They say that you were stopping ground
And soon to be my past

I guess I got lost in the moment
I guess I got lost in the fall
I guess I got lost in your heartbeat
In the thrill of it all
And I guess you were goddamn perfect

'Cause every single time you call
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
In the thrill of it all
In the thrill of it all

And I guess you were goddamn perfect
'Cause every single time you call
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
I remind myself of what I lost that night
My love
In the thrill of it all

Lost My Mind

Page 985

Do you just get so.... tired of everything?

Tired of meeting expectations.

Tired of giving so much.

Tired of... living.

That's how I felt today.

What are we living for?

Feels like.

I've lost my purpose.

I've.. lost my mind.

Maybe it's best.. that you don't know me.

The real me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: BRIDGE - Lost My Mind

[Verse 1]
If you knew, what I know
Would you be so faithful?
If you knew, what I know
This would be more painful

[Hook]
Do you see better, can't wait
Really really lost my mind
That's how it goes sometimes, I
Who could be at home with you
I know, I lost my mind
Still think about you all the time
I, oh I, ooh I, I lost my mind
Still think about you all the time

[Bridge]
Spinning like a ghost at dawn
Bothered all the time

[Verse 2]
Asked you all about it, baby you keep saying no
Said I had to talk when you know I had to go
Now I'm still around and my mind about to blow
I'm not in love anymore
Think you asked me enough
Can you listen to me when I tell you I don't know?
I know I should agree, shit goes on and on and on

[Hook]
You think you did what I did
Girl you really lost your mind
Sounding crazy all the time

[Bridge]
Spinning like a ghost at dawn
Bothered all the time
Bothered all the time

[Hook]
You will know what I know
You will know what I know
Love me no more
I really lost my, I really lost my mind

[Outro]
Spinning like a ghost at dawn
Bothered all the time
Bothered all the time

Wild Hearts Cant Be Broken

Page 984

Last night was full of emotions.

Saw a lot of familiar faces..

Local celebrities.

Friends.

All watching Munah Hirzi's last show...

Their final era.

Woah.

It was so bittersweet.

The feels were real.

After all these years....

Every since I was in Secondary School.

They can still make us laugh out loud.

Dedicating so much time and patience and passion in their art.

Working their asses off to get to where they are now.

It's inspiring.

'Dreams do come true' They keep mentioning.

No amount of hate or tape can shut out, conceal your voices.

Wild hearts can't be broken.

Thank you for touching our hearts.

For touching mine.

We'll miss you.

And we'll always love you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: P!nk - Wild Hearts Cant Be Broken

I will have to die for this I fear
There's rage and terror and there's sickness here
I fight because I have to
I fight for us to know the truth

There's not enough rope to tie me down
There's not enough tape to shut this mouth
The stones you throw can make me bleed
But I won't stop until we're free
Wild hearts can't be broken
No, wild hearts can't be broken

This is my rally cry
I know it's hard, we have to try
This is a battle I must win
To want my share is not a sin

There's not enough rope to tie me down
There's not enough tape to shut this mouth
The stones you throw can make me bleed
But I won't stop until we're free
Wild hearts can't be broken
No, wild hearts can't be broken

You beat me, betray me
You're losing, we're winning
My spirit above me
You cannot deny me
My freedom is burning
This broken world keeps turning
I'll never surrender
There's nothing, but a victory

There's not enough rope to tie me down
There's not enough tape to shut this mouth
The stones you throw can make me bleed
But I won't stop until we're free
Wild hearts can't be broken
No, wild hearts can't be broken
This wild heart can't be broken

Better Life

Page 983

Been up late at night lately..

Cant seem to sleep.

Been thinking and thinking of everything.

Connecting every dots.

But I can't shake the feeling.

The eagerness to..

Move forward.

One step at a time.

Picturing myself a better life.

Everything in its time...

I believe so. :)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: P!nk - Better Life

I've been up late watching you breathe
Wondering if you're going to leave
Don't tell me what you see
That you actually believe it
Fuck, I'm blue
And all those photos that you like of a better life, better wife, better nights, better high
Goddamn right I miss drinking
Yeah, I do

I've been up late nights
Staring at the street lights
All the cigarette smoke, can't escape a closing window
And my head's like "What happened to, it's alright"
Baby, it's not alright
What if we're a closing window

But I can't shake the feeling
That you picture a better life, better wife, better nights, better high
I can't shake the feeling
Do you picture a better life?

I found myself up late feeling kinda jealous
Looking at the bullshit, other peoples wellness
And it's got me thinking
It's just not you
I've been all night looking in the eyes of my baby
Right in front of me, what a gift so amazing
And that's what's true

But I stay up late night
Screaming at the street lights
All the cigarette smoke, filling up these hopeless lungs
Oh, and my head's like "What happens to, it's alright"
Baby, it's not alright
I feel like a closing window

But I can't shake the feeling
That you picture a better life, better wife, better nights, better high
I can't shake the feeling
Do you picture a better life?

I can't seem to understand it
How did we get so low
No, no, no, no
I can't seem to understand it
How did we get so low
No, no, no

But I can't shake the feeling (I can't seem to understand it, how did we get so low)
That you picture a better life, better wife, better nights, better high (no, no, no)
I can't shake the feeling (I can't seem to understand it, how did we get so low)
Do you picture a better life?

Do you picture a better life?
Ooh, do you picture a better life?
And I wonder, and I wonder
Do you picture a better life? (Can't shake the feeling)
And I wonder (I can't shake the feeling)
Do you picture
Do you picture a better life?

But We Lost It

Page 982

They say everything is temporary.

Sometimes I wonder..

Where does love go to die?

It must be.. a really lonely place.

Maybe time just wasnt on our side.

We had a thing.

But we lost it.. along the way.

I'm sorry.

If I made everything feel worse than it already is.

I wish I could be there to ease your pain.

But I can't.

Just remember...

The bone breaks, but it grows back stronger.

You will too.

Take care,

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: P!nk - But We Lost It

They say everything is temporary
Who the hell are they anyways
I wanna know where does love go to die
Is it some sad empty castle in the sky
Did we just shoot too high and spoil like wine?

You walk by, and it's like our bodies never touch
No love, you hold me close, but I don't feel much
I cry, maybe time isn't on our side
We had a thing but we lost it

One more go, I kinda thought if we took it slow
It might be easier for us, yeah for us to know
I know we never been quite here before
I wish I knew it when we lost it

You used to try to wake the beast in me
There's still a very sleepy part of me inside
I have been waiting to come alive
You stared into my eyes and turned to stone
And now I'm living all alone
In these four walls

There's a stranger, he's lying in my bed
Kinda blank like the thoughts living in my head
This is the one that I felt I knew so well
I think we had it but we lost it

I'm still the girl that you chased all around the world
I haven't changed, I've just replaced all the chains with pearls
I want the same things we did back then
I know we had it but we lost it

Oh
The bone breaks
It grows back stronger
Oh... the bone breaks
It grows back stronger
The bone breaks
It grows back stronger
Oh the bone breaks

You walked by, and it's like our bodies never touch
No love, you hold me close, but I don't feel much
I cry, maybe time isn't on our side
We had a thing but we lost it

One more go, I kinda thought if we took it slow
It might be easier for us, yeah for us to know
I know we never been quite here before
I wish I knew it when we lost it
Yeah... I wish I knew it when we lost it

Friends

Page 981 

Been an exhausting day.

Events. Work. Gym. 

By the time I got home, I crashed.

Woke up wondering...

With everything that's been happening 

Can we still be friends?

I hope so.

I'm down for it.

And I hope you are too.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Justin Bieber, BloodPop - Friends

I was wonderin' 'bout your mama
Did she get that job she wanted?
Sell that car that gave her problems
I'm just curious 'bout her, honest

Know your wonderin' why I been callin'
Like I got ulterior motives
Know we didn't end this so good
But you know we had something so good

So I'm wonderin'
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Doesn't have to end (ah-ah)
And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Can we be friends?
Can we be friends?

Wonderin' if you got a body
To hold you tighter since I left
Wonderin' if you think about me
Actually, don't answer that

Know your wonderin' why I been callin'
Like I got ulterior motives
Know we didn't end this so good
But you know we had something so good

So I'm wonderin'
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Doesn't have to end (ah-ah)
And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Can we be friends?

And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Know your wonderin' why I been callin'
Like I got ulterior motives
Know we didn't end this so good
But you know we had something so good

I'm wonderin'
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Can we still be friends? (ah-ah)
Doesn't have to end (ah-ah)
And if it ends
Can we be friends?

Something's Gotta Give

Page 980

I'm sorry.

My heart sank deep tonight.

I guess it's always gonna be the hardest part.

But... something's gotta give.

As painful as it is.

I gotta do what I gotta do.

I gotta find my own way.

Find my own path.

Do it on my own.

Figure it out by myself.

No reason to stay, is a good reason to go.

We should know by now.

:')

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Camila Cabello - Something's Gotta Give

Loving you, I thought I couldn't get no higher
Your November rain could set the night on fire, night on fire
But we could only burn so long
Counterfeit emotions only run skin deep
Know you're lying when you're lying next to me, next to me
How did we get so far gone?

I should know by now
You should know by now
We should know by now

Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give, and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go, ooh

I have never heard a silence quite so loud
I walk in the room and you don't make a sound, make a sound
You're good at making me feel small
If it doesn't hurt me, why do I still cry?
If it didn't kill me, then I'm half alive, half alive
How did we get so far gone?

I should know by now
You should know by now
We should know by now

Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give, and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go

I should know by now, you should know by now
I think I'm breaking right now, ooh
I should know by now, you should know by now
I think I'm breaking right now

Something's gotta give, something's gotta break
But all I do is give, and all you do is take
Something's gotta change, but I know that it won't
No reason to stay is a good reason to go
Is a good reason to go, ooh
Something's gotta give