This Is Me

Page 997

'Dont stress the poor boy, he's doing a good job'

Strong words that were unexpectedly said to me today.

From the most unexpected people.

I guess people are slowly accepting me.

I'm trying.

Trying my best.

While putting the past demons behind me.

Putting everything I have in this.

I know I can do it.

Your false judgements won't bring me down.

I'll keep fighting on.

Proving them wrong.

That's who I am.

This is me.

The real me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Keala Settle - This Is Me

I'm not a stranger to the dark
Hide away, they say
'Cause we don't want your broken parts
I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars
Run away, they say
No one will love you as you are

But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

Another round of bullets hits my skin
Well, fire away 'cause today, I won't let the shame sink in
We are bursting through the barricades
And reaching for the sun (we are warriors)
Yeah, that's what we've become

Won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious

When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
Gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

...This is me

And I know that I deserve your love
There's nothing I'm not worthy of
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
This is brave, this is bruised
This is who I'm meant to be, this is me

Look out 'cause here I come (look out 'cause here I come)
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum (marching on, marching, marching on)
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me

I'm gonna send a flood
Gonna drown them out
(...this is me)

The Greatest Show

Page 996

'Well done Syah. You've come a long way.'

I guess I've put on the greatest show today.

I'm right where I belong.

And I couldnt be more contented.

Getting more and more confident in my work.

This is just the beginning.

There's a fire inside.

I'm focused.

I'm hungry.

And I'm coming for more.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Hugh Jackman - The Greatest Show 

[Hugh Jackman:]
Ladies and gents, this is the moment you've waited for (woah)
Been searching in the dark, your sweat soaking through the floor (woah)
And buried in your bones there's an ache that you can't ignore
Taking your breath, stealing your mind
And all that was real is left behind

Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya
It's only this moment, don't care what comes after
Your fever dream, can't you see it getting closer
Just surrender 'cause you feel the feeling taking over
It's fire, it's freedom, it's flooding open
It's a preacher in the pulpit and you'll find devotion
There's something breaking at the brick of every wall it's holding
All that you know, so tell me do you wanna go?

[Ensemble & Hugh Jackman:]
Where it's covered in all the colored lights
Where the runaways are running the night
Impossible comes true, it's taking over you
Oh, this is the greatest show
We light it up, we won't come down
And the sun can't stop us now
Watching it come true, it's taking over you
Oh, this is the greatest show

[Hugh Jackman:]
(Woah) colossal we come these renegades in the ring
(Woah) where the lost get found in the crown of the circus king

[Ensemble & Hugh Jackman:]
Don't fight it, it's coming for you, running at ya
It's only this moment, don't care what comes after
It's blinding outside and I think that you know
Just surrender 'cause you're calling and you wanna go

Where it's covered in all the colored lights
Where the runaways are running the night
Impossible comes true, intoxicating you
Oh, this is the greatest show
We light it up, we won't come down
And the sun can't stop us now
Watching it come true, it's taking over you
Oh, this is the greatest show

[Hugh Jackman & Keala Settle:]
It's everything you ever want
It's everything you ever need
And it's here right in front of you
This is where you wanna be (this is where you wanna be)
It's everything you ever want
It's everything you ever need
And it's here right in front of you
This is where you wanna be
This is where you wanna be

[Ensemble, Zac Efron, Keala Settle & Hugh Jackman:]
When it's covered in all the colored lights
Where the runaways are running the night
Impossible comes true, it's taking over you
Oh, this is the greatest show
We light it up, we won't come down
And the sun can't stop us now
Watching it come true, it's taking over you
This is the greatest show
When it's covered in all the colored lights
Where the runaways are running the night
Impossible comes true, it's taking over you
Oh, this is the greatest show
We light it up, we won't come down
And the walls can't stop us now
I'm watching it come true, it's taking over you
Oh, this is the greatest show

[Zac Efron & Zendaya:]
'Cause everything you want is right in front of you
And you see the impossible is coming true
And the walls can't stop us (now) now, yeah

This is the greatest show (oh)
This is the greatest show (oh)
This is the greatest show (oh)
This is the greatest show (oh)
This is the greatest show (oh)
This is the greatest show (oh)
(This is the greatest show)
This is the greatest show (oh)
This is the greatest show

Reckless

Page 995

Got triggered lately.

About how I've treated certain people in my life.

From the past. 

Maybe I'm the monster.

Maybe I'm the evil one.

Maybe I deserved.. everything that's happened so far.

I was young and I was up to no good.

I made it all about me.

I was reckless.

With all your hearts.

And I'm sorry.

It had to happen.

I hope you guys find your own way to mend them.

This is why,

I guess,

I'm better off on my own.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Reckless

Got you drunk for your first time, definitely not mine
You missed church on Sunday
We were still fucked up from the Saturday night
Few tequila shots later in my hotel room naked
You said we should've waited
But I turned off all of the lights and took you to the dark side

I was young and I was up to no good, up to no good
I loved you in the only way that I could, way that I could

I was reckless with your heart
I took for granted the gift that you handed
Reckless with your heart
Wish I could change it
Sorry I made it
All about me, me, me, me, me
You were thinking about me, me, me, me, me
I was thinking about me, me, me, me, me
You were defenseless
And I was reckless with your heart

Did she have to repair you
To get you back to where you started from
Sometimes I wish I could meet her
Apologize, delete all the damage I've done

I was young and I was up to not good, up to not good
Someone left me in the way that I left you
It's how I understood

I was reckless with your heart
I took for granted the gift that you handed
Reckless with your heart
Wish I could change it
Sorry I made it
All about me, me, me, me, me
You were thinking about me, me, me, me, me
I was thinking about me, me, me, me, me
You were defenseless
And I was reckless with your heart

I realized that our love
Was your first time feeling the first time feeling
It happens to all of us
But you deserved a better start

I was reckless with your heart
I took for granted the gift that you handed
Reckless with your heart
Wish I could change it
Sorry I made it
All about me, me, me, me, me
You were thinking about me, me, me, me, me
I was thinking about me, me, me, me, me
You were defenseless
And I was reckless with your heart

Never Enough

Page 994

When is enough... enough?

I always tell myself...

Don't give in cause just you're a nice person.

Don't let other people use you.

You're not a toy to toy around with.

You're not a spare part that's only used when something goes wrong.

You're not something to butter up when others feel bored.

I was happy with you, but looking back and now, maybe it happened for a reason.

It was never enough for me.

Cause actions speak louder than words.

It's time to move on.

I wish you the best.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Loren Allred - Never Enough

I'm tryin' to hold my breath
Let it stay this way
Can't let this moment end
You set off a dream in me
Gettin' louder now
Can you hear it echoing?
Take my hand
Will you share this with me?
'Cause darling without you

All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it'll
Never be enough
Never be enough

For me
Never, never
Never, never
Never, for me
For me
Never enough
Never enough
Never enough
For me
For me
For me

All the shine of a thousand spotlights
All the stars we steal from the night sky
Will never be enough
Never be enough
Towers of gold are still too little
These hands could hold the world but it'll
Never be enough
Never be enough

For me
Never, never
Never, never
Never, for me
For me
Never enough
Never, never
Never enough
Never, never
Never enough
For me
For me
For me

For me

3:00AM

Page 993

6 more days..

It's 3:00 AM. 

& I Cant sleep tonight.

I feel more lonely than ever.

Just thinking about a lot of things.

About what I want.

About what I've done so far.

About what's to come...

It's so scary.

Time just keeps on ticking..

There's still so much to do.

So much to lose.

All these experiences...

I wanna make it all worthwhile.

I'm gonna leave my footprints here.

And hope someday, maybe, people will notice.. I was here.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Finding Home - 3:00AM

Baby it's 3:00 AM
Had you on my mind
And it's not the first time we've gone through this
Wanting you more and more
I can't help but think of what we could be
(And baby if I could tell you)
Baby if I could tell you, if I could tell you
How much I care, I'm in despair
Are you still there?
(Just tell me)
Just tell me how we can make this work
How we can make this work

'Cause baby if I find a way, I'm sure of it this love won't stray
Just give me a chance to say I love you
And I need you
Now are you here to stay, or fade away like every other day?
You're the reason that I lie awake
...

Wolves

Page 992

Your scent.

I've been smelling it a lot lately outside.

From random people.

Strangers walking by.

I'd take a pause.

And sniff it as much as I can.

Just like a wolf.

Cause it makes me so..

High.

Don't know if i'm crazy.

But it gives me.... a warm fuzzy feeling.

Coincidentally you dropped me a text today.

I don't know how I should feel tbh.

I don't know.

I've been running with the wolves.

All these time.

Looking for love in every stranger.

To get to you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Selena Gomez, Marshmello - Wolves

In your eyes, there's a heavy blue
One to love, and one to lose
Sweet divine, a heavy truth
Water or wine, don't make me choose

I wanna feel the way that we did that summer night, night
Drunk on a feeling, alone with the stars in the sky

I've been running through the jungle
I've been running with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you
I've been down the darkest alleys
Saw the dark side of the moon
To get to you, to get to you
I've looked for love in every stranger
Took too much to ease the anger
All for you, yeah, all for you
I've been running through the jungle
I've been crying with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you, to get to you

To get to you
To get to you

Your fingertips trace my skin
To places I have never been
Blindly, I am following
Break down these walls and come on in

I wanna feel the way that we did that summer night, night
Drunk on a feeling, alone with the stars in the sky

I've been running through the jungle
I've been running with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you
I've been down the darkest alleys
Saw the dark side of the moon
To get to you, to get to you
I've looked for love in every stranger
Took too much to ease the anger
All for you, yeah, all for you
I've been running through the jungle
I've been crying with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you, to get to you

To get to you
To get to you

I've been running through the jungle
I've been running with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you
I've been down the darkest alleys
Saw the dark side of the moon
To get to you, to get to you
I've looked for love in every stranger
Took too much to ease the anger
All for you, yeah, all for you
I've been running through the jungle
I've been crying with the wolves
To get to you, to get to you, to get to you

Sexify

Page 991

February.

It's a special month for me.

But I guess it's started on the wrong note.

Just as it was about to begin.

..

And another one passes on.

Wow...

Really couldnt process it that early in the morning.

RIP Leah Labelle.

I got to know her through JoJo, who's been really close friends ever since 'Agape' days.

Her cover of 'Thinking Bout You' was a significant one I loved as I was growing up.

You never got recognition you deserved.

So talented.

I hope you find peace.

Sing with the angels..

Thank you.

Your voice will live on.

This song is one of her best work.

'Sexify'

Vibin' with it tonight.

Mad love to everyone.

Please stay safe.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Leah Labelle - Sexify

[Chorus]
I got a whole bunch of ways
to turn to him on girl, he'll come home girl if you know what I mean
I got a whole bunch of ways
It's all in your tone girl, he'll be gone girl if you know what I mean

[Verse 1]
I'll sexify you, have you thinking bout my name in the middle of the day-ay (and that's guaranteed)
I'll sexify you, have your friends thinking boy man there ain't no way-ay (and that's guaranteed)
Make him want a night for two, which involves some ice by you
make his body shake from naughty strokes
and when you call girl he'll come home

[Chorus]
I got a whole bunch of ways
to turn to him on girl, he'll come home girl if you know what I mean
I got a whole bunch of ways
It's all in your tone girl, he'll be gone girl if you know what I mean

[Verse 2]
I'll sexify you, with the bed me eyes and killer confidence (and that's guaranteed)
I'll sexify you, just make sure he's got enough
beware he'll be poppin up, makes sense (and that's guaranteed)
be open to play his game and the fun will start all over again
keep it going girl don't stop, and he will want you on top

[Chorus]
I got a whole bunch of ways
to turn to him on girl, he'll come home girl if you know what I mean
I got a whole bunch of ways
It's all in your tone girl, he'll be gone girl if you know what I mean

[Bridge]
I just want some hanky panky
sexy versus skanky
dancing in my bra and panties girl
instincts to master thank me thank me

[Chorus]
I got a whole bunch of ways
to turn to him on girl, he'll come home girl if you know what I mean
I got a whole bunch of ways
It's all in your tone girl, he'll be gone girl if you know what I mean

[Bridge]
I just want some hanky panky
sexy versus skanky
dancing in my bra and panties girl
instincts to master thank me thank me