Cinnamon

Page 1345

Goodbyes are really.. not easy.

I hate saying it.

I try to avoid it.

But I can't run from it forever.

Today was.. bittersweet.

My last day at work.

I joined this company in October 2017.

And 2 and a half years later, here I am.

Through the ups and downs of it all, I've established some special bonds/relationships.

Ones I don't think I can get elsewhere.

Receiving thank you cards, and hugs from these people who have been like family.

Not just colleagues, but my patients too.

Some, I didn't get to say goodbye.

And that's okay.

I've delivered the best care I can for you guys. 

And I hope it was enough.

Thank you for giving me one of the best working experiences in my life.

The world won't stop for me.

Everything will continue.

And we must move forward.

For now.. I'm not lonely.

I am free.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Hayley Williams - Cinnamon 

Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

On the walls of my home
There are signs that I'm alone
I keep on every light
Talk to my dog, he don't mind

Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Eat my breakfast in the nude
Lemon water, living room
Home is where I'm feminine
Smells like citrus and cinnamon

Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

I'm not lonely
I am free
But if I let you in
You would never wanna leave
(If I let you in)
If ever I let you in
Cinnamon

I'm not lonely, babe, I am free
Finally
I'm not lonely, babe, I am free

Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
(I'm not lonely, babe)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
(I'm not lonely, babe)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

If I let you in, cinnamon
If I let you in, cinnamon
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

I Will Be

Page 1344

These are crazy times.

Shows & tours are getting cancelled left and right.

I feel bad for those that are running their own businesses.

Everything is affected.

So it's important to be with people you love.

To keep you sane.

To keep you safe.

Love Love Love.

Had our usual Sunday Routine together.

Watching shows and having meals.

Playing music.

Snuggling up in bed with the cooling weather outside.

No, I'll never get bored of it.

I always count my blessings.

It is everything I've wanted.

:)

Thank you for sticking with me.

And taking care of me.

We really are one in a million, two peas in a pod.

Perfectly meant for each other.

Whatever will be, will be.

And I hope the world gets back to normal soon.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Avril Lavigne - I Will Be

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do
To make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye
And now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see
Honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe
'Cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
'Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

'Cause without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave
You're all I got
You're all I want
Yeah

And without you
I don't know what I'd do
I could never ever live a day without you
Here with me
Do you see? You're all I need

And I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

I will be (I'll be) all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

No Time To Die

Page 1343

What a weird time to be alive.

2020's really starting out wild.

It's like something written out of a horror movie.

Chaos everywhere in the world.

It's impacting everyone.

Everyone I know.

People around me.

People I love.

People are overworked.

People are struggling to get jobs/getting retrenched.

People are constantly at risk.

It is really a rough period.

And we are all adapting to it.

There is really no way out, but through.

No time to die.

But to keep fighting, keep faith, and keep on keepin' on.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Eilish - No Time To Die

I should've known
I'd leave alone
Just goes to show
That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

We were a pair
But I saw you there
Too much to bear
You were my life, but life is far away from fair

Was I stupid to love you?
Was I reckless to help?
Was it obvious to everybody else

That I'd fallen for a lie?
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

I let it burn
You're no longer my concern
Faces from my past return
Another lesson yet to learn

That I'd fallen for a lie
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

No time to die
No time to die

Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

I Love You

Page 1342

Another great day with my boo.

Sooo grateful for you.

I love you.

You bring out.. the best in me.

And I love it.

I love being in your arms.

I love our talks.

I love playing music with you.

I wish I could be with you everyday.

Life, would be so much better.

Singing this song today, it felt therapeutic.

It gave me a nostalgic feeling, the times I've cried to it.

It's sad.

But that's us.

Sad yet happy souls.

It is just in us.

And that is perfectly, okay.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Eilish - I Love You

It's not true, tell me I've been lied to
Cryin' isn't like you
What the hell did I do?
Never been the type to
Let someone see right through

Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn't mean to say I love you
I love you
And I don't want to

Up all night on another red-eye
I wish we never learned to fly
Maybe we should just try
To tell ourselves a good lie
Didn't mean to make you cry

Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn't mean to say I love you
I love you
And I don't want to

The smile that you gave me
Even when you felt like dyin'

We fall apart as it gets dark
I'm in your arms in Central Park
There's nothing you could do or say
I can't escape the way I love you
I don't want to
But I love you

Today And Tomorrow.

Page 1341 

7 more working days and I'll be done with this place.

The surrealness of it all is starting to sink in.

It felts like those days when I was about to ORD.

Hahaha.

I was all alone then.

Cause I was the only one left from my batch to ORD.

It was pretty lonely.

But liberating.

To go through the day and really... Live in the moment.

Cherishing the surroundings for the last time, going to breakfast alone, etc.

I can still remember.

Nostalgic.

My manager announced today that that would be no more requests for the next roster.

And at the same time she announced that it will be the last one with me in it.

:)

Time really does fly doesn't it?

First, today.

Then, tomorrow.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Grace VanderWaal - Today And Tomorrow 

Don't say maybe, just don't wake me
We can stay here for as long as we want
And make forever last a while

Leave the light on
After the sun
Leaves and goes to a far off ocean
And lay here with me

And I'll catch you
Fallin' into me, fallin' into you
Lettin' go of all the things I've thought were true
Fallin' into me as I'm fallin' into you
It seems so clear but I don't know what to do

I speak too much, you stay closed off
But I can see
Your thoughts in the stardust
Shining back at me

As I catch you
Fallin' into me, fallin' into you
Lettin' go of all the things I've thought were true
Fallin' into me, as I'm fallin' into you
It seems so clear but I don't know what to do

One day I'll be
Old and ugly
Will you still be thinking of me?
If we were as brave as we are now

And I'll catch you
Thinking of me, as I'm thinking of you
Lettin' go of all the things I thought were true
As you're fallin' into me and I'm fallin' into you
It seems so clear but I don't know what to do

Must Be Dreaming

Page 1340

Listening to Frou Frou again today made me feel so damn nostalgic.

Those days when I was just an innocent teenager.

Made me fall in love with her music again.

It's like we're meant to be.

We come from different backgrounds.

Have different personalities.

Yet, sharing the same taste and love for music.

Loving each other's company.

It's all we've ever wanted.

Someone.. to love.

If this is a dream, I'd never want to wake up.

Thank you, for being with me.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Frou Frou - Must Be Dreaming

Pay close attention
Don't listen to me from now
George'll be flying this one
And it's anyone's guess how he does this
Is the right turn wrong
Universe taking me in full bloom
Fireball careful with that there
See what you made me do

I must be dreaming
Or we're onto something
I must be dreaming
For i don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming
Or pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as i'm losing it so completely

Incendiary glance
Be come and collide in me
Zoom in enhance hold
While i go helplessly sky high
Magic eye sugar rushing don't stop

I must be dreaming
Or we're onto something
Hey just watcha make me
For i don't fall in love lawlessly
I must be dreaming
Or pinch me to waking
So undeniably yours
As long as i'm losing it so completely

Euphoria i can't take any more of
Yah i'm losing it

Flesh & Blood

Page 1339

Happy birthday, mumsie.

Hope you enjoyed all the food.

I am bloated AF.

It was a draggy Monday at work.

I find that I am giving less fucks about everyone.

Haha.

I really cannot be bothered.

Just want to work and go home.

Every patient keeps asking 'When is your last day?'

Sometimes, I just want to leave without saying anything.

Can I do that?

It's not like we're flesh & blood.

Goodbyes are too hard.

I just want to go.

In peace.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: OK Button - Flesh & Blood

[Verse 1]
I never thought I’d see the day where I’d be scared of you
But how my heart sinks fast when I see you
I know you are my flesh & blood but I feel so removed from you
It kills me
Yeah, it kills me

[Pre-Chorus]
Cause I’m losing you
And there’s nothing I, I can do

[Chorus]
We only smile when we’re lying, we only smile when we’re lying
We’re too far gone to know how to stop what do they think of us
We only smile when we’re lying, we only smile when we’re lying
We’re too far gone to know how to stop, you can’t make this shit up

[Post-Chorus]
And it kills me
It kills me

[Verse 2]
I fake a smile to hide the lie, I know you sense it
That I’m just not who you think I’m meant to be
I feel cold when you embrace me
Oh, how I’ve cried myself to sleep through feeling guilty
[Pre-Chorus]
Cause I’m losing you
And there’s nothing I, I can do

[Chorus]
We only smile when we’re lying, we only smile when we’re lying
We’re too far gone to know how to stop what do they think of us
We only smile when we’re lying, we only smile when we’re lying
We’re too far gone to know how to stop, you can’t make this shit up

[Outro]
And it kills me
It kills me
It kills me
It kills me