All My Love

 Page 1525

Well, survived the week at last.

It was quite a tough one.

After going on a long leave and coming back,

It felt like stepping into a battlefield without an armour.

The shortness of manpower and chaos ensued.

And soon enough, I was back on the routine.

Tanked it for the week.

Funny how your anxiety seems to amplify even more when you’re older.

I had such bad panic attacks going back.

Never thought I'd go through it again.

I’m sure some of you can resonate with that.

It felt like I couldn’t function.

The blues I supposed.

But ah well.

I'm back and that's all that matter.

Thankful for my partner for keeping me sane throughout the week out.

All my love to you. 🤍

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Riley Pearce - All My Love (LANKS Remix)

All the madness in life that gets hit by the rain
Is calmed at her side
Heaven was only a word, a place out of reach
But I felt it in her

Every last-minute call, the rushing of blood
The backs to the wall
Disappeared from my view, oh I let it all go
In the quiet she drew

Frozen in time
I see her lights, I see her lights
Helps me to find
This peace of mind, this peace of mind
All my love, it's all for her

All that fate had designed to fit to my feet
To sync with the signs
Hope and all of his friends wait for our call
Should we need them again

Frozen in time
I see her lights, I see her lights
Helps me to find
This peace of mind, this peace of mind
All my love, it's all for her

(All my love) it's all for her
(It's all for, can you come over here?)

I want this, yeah, I want this
All my love, all my love
It's all for her

Frozen in time
I see her lights, I see her lights
(All my love)
Helps me to find
This peace of mind, this peace of mind
(All my love)
Frozen in time
I see her lights, I see her lights
(All my love)
Helps me to find
This peace of mind, this peace of mind
(All my love)
All my love, it's all for her

Far From Here

 Page 1524

And that concludes my annual leave for this month. Heh.

It went by like a breeze as expected. 

Yet the blues and vulnerability just kept sinking in today.

I just spent the day, soaking in the moment.

Reflecting.

I did what I could. Heh.

It really was a good break.

 

A lot of catching up with loved ones and good food. Yas.

As I spent the evening watching the sun set.

Pondering about what's next.

Time just slips through like sand through your fingers.

We do whatever we can to just live in the moment.

So thankful for my partner for holding me throughout.

What would I do without you?

:)

One day.. we'll get our own freedom & peace.

Maybe far from here.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Emitt Fenn - Far From Here

I was afraid of facing the cores of my own fear
I guess I was wrong about our love
You still aren't here
Just pictures of you on my shelf there
I guess you were wrong about our love

Well I hope you're fine now
Wherever you are
Can anybody show me the easy way to break a heart

Well I hope your fine now
Wherever you are
And I don't wanna fake it pretend
I didn't do you no wrong

Now I'll keep on watching
As the days go flying by ooooh I

Yes I'll keep on counting
As the days go passing by oooh I
Oooh my
Oooh my

Don't mean to invade
Called up to check up on you
Just in case my text ain't go through

So far from here been almost a year since you've gone now
I guess we were wrong about us

Well I hope your fine now
Wherever you are
Can anybody show me the easy way to break a heart

Well I hope your fine now
Wherever you are
And I don't wanna fake it pretend
I didn't do you no wrong

Now I'll keep on watching
As the days go flying by ooooh I

Yes I'll keep on counting
As the days go passing by oooh my
Oooh my

Into The Deep

 Page 1523

What a beautiful Monday.

Finally done with reservist. (!!!!!)

Honestly, It's been such a chill / laid-back one. 

And I know I shouldn't get used to it (It's supposed to be damn shag), but I really enjoyed how carefree it was tbh haha. It was a nice getaway from the crazies at work.

And now, I'm just soaking in this little bit of freedom I get before work starts (Will be on a week of leave).

Went to gym. Bought Starbucks and groceries. Had some guitar lessons. And just chilling.

I get a bit of anxiety thinking of how to make it all worthwhile.

If it was the old me, I'd just waste the holidays away sleeping/waking up late & just not doing anything 'productive'. 

But you know what, I'm just gonna take it day by day and use this time to really unwind.

Have some 'me time'.

Do what I love.

And just.. live.

Bought some new equipments over the weekend (A Shure SM7B microphone and a Takamine Guitar, both of which I've been dying to get for the longest time)!!!! 

It feels fulfilling ya know? You worked so hard. Just reward yourself man.

Make yourself happy.

You deserve it. 

Take a deep breath. 

& dive into the deep. 

Have a good week ahead. x

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Emitt Fenn - Into The Deep

Secrets in my head
Haunt me in my sleep
When your lying next to me

Things I should of said
Stuck between my teeth
I wonder if you see

Perfect shade of silence
Underneath your eyelids
How'm I gonna leave?

Now I'm into deep
Now I'm into deep

Pull me like the waves
Wash me off my feet
Drift away with me

Beauty on the inside
Like diamonds and gold
When you show me underneath

Now I'm into deep
Now I'm into deep

I'm weightless now
In your gravity
I'll float away with you
Into the deep

I'm weightless now
In your gravity
I'll float away with you
Into the deep

I'm weightless now
In your gravity
I'll float away with you
Into the deep

Mood Ring

 Page 1522

It's been quite a week.

Started reservist and I must say, it was nice to see familiar faces.

Reconnecting & reminiscing old days.

And just, seeing ourselves live our lives.

At least it's a nice break from work.

And I have the weekends to myself.

The future scares me..

So much so, I had an anxiety attack and cried myself to sleep last night.

I don't know how to feel about that.

I don't quite know how to talk about it, but I know I cant run from it either.

And that's okay.

I'll just wait, till the mood rings.

I guess everyone's feeling off these days too huh?

Well, here's another week to get through.

Let's do this.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lorde - Mood Ring

I'm tryna blow bubbles, but inside
Can't seem to fix my mood
Today it's as dark as my roots
If I, if I ever let them grow out (Ah-ah)
Now all of my oceans have riptides
Can't seem to find what's wrong
The whole world is letting me down
Don't you think the early 2000s seem so far away? (Ay-ay-ay-ay)

Ladies, begin your sun salutations
Transcendental in your meditations (Love and light)
You can burn sage, and I'll cleanse the crystals
We can get high, but only if the wind blows (Blows just right)

I can't feel a thing
I keep looking at my mood ring
Tell me how I'm feeling
Floating away, floating away

I'm tryna get well from the inside
Plants and celebrity news, all the vitamins I consume
Let's fly somewhere eastern, they'll have what I need (They'll have what I need)
Let's go

Ladies, begin your sun salutations
Pluto in Scorpio generation (Love and light)
You can burn sage, and I'll cleanse the crystals
We can get high, but only if the wind blows (Blows just right, ri-ri-ri-right)

I can't feel a thing
I keep looking at my mood ring
Tell me how I'm feeling
Floating away, floating away
All the sad girls sing
We'll keep dancing 'til the mood rings
Tell us how we're feeling
Floating away, floating away

Take me to some kinda
Take me to some kinda
Take me to some kinda place (Anywhere)
Watch the sun set, look back on my life (Take me to some kinda)
I just wanna know, will it be alright? (Take me to some kinda)
Take me to some kinda place (Anywhere)

Skinnydipped

 Page 1521

HEY!!!!

Just a quick update.

Sorry for the wait.

I know I've been missing for a bit.

Just been busy hustling with my part-time.

And taking newer roles and responsibilities at my full-time.

Taking it day by day.

This month is passing by in a blink of an eye.

Well, the last work week for the month has ended for me. 

Time for a 'break.'

Well not exactly, but I'll be going for reservist and clearing some leaves in the coming weeks.

Not exactly excited for reservist cause I didnt quite have a good one 2 years ago (LOLOL).

But anyways, at least there will be familiar faces! Quite excited to catch up hahah.

For now, the weekends are almost here and I'm just gonna relax, unwind and spend time with me partner. :)

Cheerss.

Love, Eran.

Ps. This new BANKS song rocksss.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Skinnydipped

I'm a little late
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Get your water for the wait
Uh-uh, uh-uh

I dabble in the past, yeah, I said it
I finally admit it
I told you it was over then I skinny-dipped and did it
I shoulda known better but I didn't overthink it
And I probably would've floated but I sank it

Took a dive in the deep and forgot to move
Swam with the fish till my kiss turn blue
I aired out my sheets 'cause they smell like you
I cleaned out the salt in my wounds

And I'm a little late
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Get your water for the wait
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Take you out onto the lake
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Then I'll let you swim away
Uh-uh, uh-uh

I step on every crack, gimme credit
Your ego never fed it
My legs just caught a cold and so I didn't wanna spread it
You told me if I tried to walk away, I would regret it
Maybe if I didn't swim I woulda sweat it

Used to read every story about me and you
Checked out your book, now it's overdue
I tried to return 'cause I'm over you
I cleaned out the salt in my wounds

And I'm a little late
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Get your water for the wait
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Take you out onto the lake
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Then I'll let you swim away
Uh-uh, uh-uh

Acting like you know me
Instead of trying to show me
Say you praise my body
I could love somebody else
Better if I was lonely
Justified to hold me
Maybe if I was the only
Better if I woulda known better

And I'm a little late
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Get your water for the wait
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Take you out onto the lake
Uh-uh, uh-uh
Then I'll let you swim away
Uh-uh, uh-uh

The Devil

 Page 1520

Shucks. 

It has begun.

Gates of hell has opened and the devil lurks in every corner.

Quite an interesting activity going on just now.

The garden outside my workplace probably looks like a graveyard by now.

:D

I for one, particularly don't look forward to this particular month because so many things happened to me last year (my injuries & workplace blowing up etc).

Meh.

Life still goes on.

I on the other hand, am not looking to go back to work after 3 days away.

Where did the time go man????

But then again I did enjoy spending time with my partner. :)

Living & Loving.

In the comfort of our own space.

I'm forever thankful.

🤍

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - The Devil

I'm the devil and I speed with the pedal on the gas
And I think I like a fast life better now
I'm the devil, did they tell you I'm the devil?
Put your faith in another life past

Someone write my new name down
Someone write my new name down
Someone write my new name down
Someone write my new name down

Way down I go
Got a one-way ticket and the devil waiting
Call from down low
Naïve I know

Pu-pu-pu-pull me back down through the fire
Write my name down for the hire
I hear the bones in the devil retired
So someone write my new name down
Cuz I'm the
DEVIL

I'm the devil and I speed with the pedal on the gas
And I think I like a fast life better now
I'm the devil, did they tell you I'm the devil?
Put your faith in another life past

I'm the devil and I speed with the pedal on the gas
And I think I like a fast life better now
I'm the devil, did they tell you I'm the devil?
Put your faith in another life past

Rectified while feeding me for lying
And it taste so good
Two on my shoulder
One of em right
Black and the white
Certified- I ain't the nice one

Pu-pu-pu-pull em back all the opinions
I ain't really bothered and it taste so good
And you liking me ain't something I desire
So someone write my new name down
Cuz I'm the
DEVIL

I'm the devil and I speed with the pedal on the gas
And I think I like a fast life better now
I'm the devil, did they tell you I'm the devil?
Put your faith in another life past

I'm the devil and I speed with the pedal on the gas
And I think I like a fast life better now
I'm the devil, did they tell you I'm the devil?
Put your faith in another life past

I go
Way down
Cuz I'm the
DEVIL now
I go
Way down
I go
Way down
Cuz I'm the
DEVIL now

Cuz I'm the
DEVIL now

Cuz I'm the
DEVIL now

Happier Than Ever

 Page 1519

Happy August! :)

Have you heard Billie Eilish's new album???

If not, you are trulyyyyy, respectfullyyyy, missing out.

Even though I've told myself I don't want to overplay it.

I did.

Haha.

There's so much nostalgia in this album. With influences from old rnb throwback tracks. And heck, even Avril Lavigne!

It is timeless. And cathartic. And a classic.

And makes me feel things I have not felt in a lot time.

Everyone seems to be embracing their rock/pop-punk roots again.

And as did Billie with the second half of Happier Than Ever.

I remembered listening to it with my partner and we both were just going crazy and rolling on the floor when it went all out maaaaaad. That feeling was just, sooo surreal. Special. & Priceless.

It's why I love music.

Heck, even Ms Hayley Williams herself came back from her hiatus to tweet about her.

Which Billie acknowledge on Insta herself! Hehe.

It's sooo crazy. 

And then there's the music video.

 I had goosebumps watching it. Especially when she was in the rain and being herself. And the ending where she just jumped into the water. And disappeared. 

Damn.

She really outdid herself this era.

And I'm so inspired to see her continue growing. 

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Eilish - Happier Than Ever

When I'm away from you
I'm happier than ever
Wish I could explain it better
I wish it wasn't true

Give me a day or two
To think of something clever
To write myself a letter
To tell me what to do

Do you read my interviews?
Or do you skip my avenue?
When you said you were passing through
Was I even on your way?

I knew when I asked you to
Be cool about what I was telling you
You'd do the opposite of what you said you'd do
And I'd end up more afraid

Don't say it isn't fair
You clearly weren't aware that you
Made me miserable
So if you really wanna know

When I'm away from you
I'm happier than ever
Wish I could explain it better
I wish it wasn't true

You call me again, drunk in your Benz
Driving home under the influence
You scared me to death but I'm wasting my breath
'Cause you only listen to your fucking friends

I don't relate to you
I don't relate to you, no
'Cause I'd never treat me this shitty
You made me hate this city

And I don't talk shit about you on the internet
Never told anyone anything bad
'Cause that shit's embarrassing, you were my everything
And all that you did was make me fucking sad

So don't waste the time I don't have
And don't try to make me feel bad

I could talk about every time that you showed up on time
But I'd have an empty line 'cause you never did
Never paid any mind to my mother or friends so I
Shut 'em all out for you 'cause I was a kid

You ruined everything good
Always said you were misunderstood
Made all my moments your own
Just fucking leave me alone