Waiting Game

Page 283

When am I NOT emotional?

Haha. I guess it's a bad habit.

I've been feeling neglected lately. Even when you're by my side. And I don't even know why.

I guess it's just me?

People around me will tend to get uncomfortable.

I'm sorry.

I guess this is what I get for being an introvert. I'm stuck in my head all the time.

I've just been craving love & affection a lot. That feeling sucks.

Just received a letter today that will shape my future.

Guess the waiting game is over.

I won't lie, i'm extremely worried.

About everything.

About us.

How will I cope?

How will we work out?

…

:/

Now…

I'll just have to make every day count.

Love, Eran.

I don't want us to be a waiting game.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Waiting Game

[Verse 1:]
I'm thinking it over
The way you make me feel all sexy but it's causing me shame
I wanna lean on your shoulder
I wish I was in love but I don't wanna cause any pain
And if I'm feeling like I'm evil, we've got nothing to gain

[Chorus:]
What if I never even see you cuz we're both on a stage
Don't tell me listen to your song because it isn't the same
I don't wanna say your love is a waiting game

[Verse 2:]
Baby I'm thinking it over
What if the way we started made it something cursed from the start
What if it only gets colder
Would you still wrap me up and tell me that you think this was smart
Cuz lately I've been scared of even thinking 'bout where we are

[Chorus x2] 

Beggin For Thread

Page 282

I guess things are fine again.

Last night was one of the worsts..

Literally went to bed tearing up cause I was an emotional mess.

Sometimes the things you say.. I don't know whether to believe them or not.

Sometimes you're joking. Sometimes you're not.

You can be really rude, really harsh, and hurt me without even knowing!

And this morning things went a little bit too far. 

To a point where I was gonna breakdown again.

I was kinda really disappointed.

Cause I was being serious and you weren't.

But I'm glad I managed to push a smile and act normally.

And I'm glad we're okay after some time together.

I wish you'd be more sensitive..

To my feelings?? 

That's all.

Love, Eran.

You should have known.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Beggin For Thread

So I got edges that scratch
And sometimes I don't got a filter
But I'm so tired of eating all of my misspoken words
I know my disposition gets confusing
My disproportionate reactions fuse with my eager state
That's why you wanna come out and play with me

Yeah
Why
Why
Why

Stooped down and out
You got me beggin for thread
To sew this hole up that you ripped in my head
Stupidly think you had it under control
Strapped down to something that you don't understand
Don't know what you were getting yourself into
You should have known
Secretly, I think you knew

I got some dirt on my shoes
My words can come out as a pistol
And I'm no good at aiming
But I can aim it at you

I know my actions, they may get confusing
But my unstable ways is my solution to even space
That's why you wanna come out and play with me, yeah

Stooped down and out
You got me beggin for thread
To sew this hole up that you ripped in my head
Stupidly think you had it under control
Strapped down to something that you don't understand
Don't know what you were getting yourself into
You should have known
Secretly, I think you knew
(Secretly I think you knew)

Hold it out, whoa
Try to hide it out but my tracks are better
Hold it out, whoa
Try to hide it out but my tracks are better

Hold it out, whoa
Try to hide it out but my tracks are better
Hold it out, whoa
Try to hide it out but my tracks are better

Stooped down and out
You got me beggin for thread
To sew this hole up that you ripped in my head
Stupidly think you had it under control
Strapped down to something that you don't understand
Don't know what you were getting yourself into
You should have known
Secretly, I think you knew
(Secretly I think you knew) 

Stick

Page 281

Someone wasn't impressed.

._.

*gets slapped*

Hahaha.

Met a neighbour of mine on the way to the market with Mum today. Her son was with her, and was starting his first day of school at NYP. Ahhhh. How I miss those days..

I really do. :(

Went to beau's. Self-invite hahaha. If not later I'll hear complains of how the bed feels empty.

LOL.

BUT CLEARLY, someone didnt appreciate me there. And I guess I kinda got annoyed.

Whatever.

I'm surprised at how well you can read me. Seriously. You always know when something's up.

Impressive.

Well now, don't want to make a big deal out of things.

Especially if it's small. 

I'll stick with it till the end.

Love, Eran.

Stick with me.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Stick

[Chorus: x2]
Cold shoulders
So sick are you make it come quick
Hard to demonstrate
So down for you, licorice stick

[Verse 1:]
I got to take you home
We're living in hard times, we're living in hard times
Baby, you think you know
I think it's about time, that you're gonna make me wild

[Pre-Chorus:]
Baby, you don't wanna leave
You'd be sorry, cause honestly
I can make you feel better, any day
Look at what you've done for me
I called it how I see
You belong with me

[Chorus x2]

[Verse 2:]
Tell me I got you, baby
I wanna know how you taste
I wanna know how you taste

Now that you keep me warm
Baby I call you fire
And maybe I'll be your fire

[Pre-Chorus:]
Baby, you don't wanna leave
You'd be sorry, cause honestly
I can make you feel better, any day
Look at what you've done for me
I called it how I see
You belong with me

[Chorus x2]

[Bridge: x4]
Tell her you love her, tell her you're down for
Tell her you're down for it 

The Fall

Page 280

That text you sent me last night really touched me.

The fact that you do appreciate me, is more than enough.

You're the best and I want you to know that.

<3

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Went to meet le Boy after work today.

We totally went back and forth places countless times cause *SOMEONE* couldn't make up his mind.

:)))))

I recommended J-Town since he hadn't been there before. 

'If it's not nice I will blame you.'

As usual :')

And he was totally judging everything.

I kept face-palming because I couldn't take it HAHAHA.

This boy will be the death of me. 

;-;

Hahaha. Got our food & I ended up with a satisfied tummy at the end.

:D

Had my usual Crispy Chicken Bakmie. So good!

I missed this!!!!

Missing my classmates cause we always ate here haha.

I had to try it again :D

Went back here again!

Though we really had no idea what to do there since there were many people 'camping' there haha.

*krik krik*

We got clueless on where to go, and randomly decided to go to Changi Airport HAHAHA. It was a really bad idea since we were both tired so we didnt. Maybe next time. 

:)

Ciao for now.

Love, Eran.

Please don't slip away.

Please stay with me forever.

The fall won't hurt with you by my side.

Current Song Mood: Rhye - The Fall

Make love to me
One more time
Before you go away
Why can't you stay?

Ooh, my love
Come home to me
Just for a while
I'll leave this piece in you
Why can't you stay?

Don't run away,
Don't slip away, my dear
Don't run away,
Don't slip away, my dear
Don't run away
(Don't ruin this heart of mine)

The sun is gone
It fell into the fall
But I don't want it this way
Why can't you stay?

Don't run away,
Don't slip away, my dear
Don't run away,
Don't slip away, my dear
Don't run away
(Don't ruin this heart of mine)
Oh oh

There should be words,
There should be words that explain the way
But I am tongue tied and twisted,
Where's those words...

Don't run away,
Don't slip away, my dear

Brain

Page 279

Yaaaaas.

Time's going by so fast. We're already halfway through April. And Graduation's just a month away. I don't know if I'm ready..

So much uncertainties.

I'll talk about it some other time.

I just wish people would utilise & use their brains.

Especially the people around me.

It frustrates me that I have to be the one stepping up.

Where's the brother or father figure that I need in life?

Literally ranted out all my frustrations to Baby in the morning.

And you...

I can see you struggling, thinking of words to say.

Trying to be smart.

Sometimes I don't know if you really mean what you say,

Or whether you're just joking.

But surprisingly my instincts tell me you're not.
Your accusations do hurt me.

I dont wanna go too deep into this.

It wouldn't hurt to have some faith in me.

I'm not like how I was before.

Go figure.

Use your brain.

Love, Eran.

You're smart but not too smart.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Brain

But it's all the same
I could have foreseen
That you would act like you are
Oh so cool you seem
Blending with that scene
Wearing what you think is hard

I can see you struggling
Boy, don't hurt your brain
Thinking what you're gonna say
Cause everything's a game
Always trying to calculate
Trying to look smart but not too smart
To threaten anything they say

But it's all the same
I could have foreseen
That you would act like you are
Oh so cool you seem
Blending with that scene
Wearing what you think is hard

I can see you struggling
Boy, don't hurt your brain
Thinking what you're gonna say
Cause everything's a game
Always trying to calculate
Trying to look smart but not too smart
To threaten everything they say

Feeling Myself

Page 278

#TGIF!!!!

Didnt go to beau's place today cause I wanted to go spent time with my girls.

Someone said that the bed felt emptier without me hahahaha.

Aww.

Met up with my girls at GF's place <3 :3

Met up with GF first and she was babysitting like an actual mother hahaha.

Riri was late as usual >_> And she got lost. Lmao.

Me: 'Yesterday what you do? Clubbing ah?'

Riri: 'NO!!! I go temple lah.'

HAHAHAHA.

We had lunch made by GF's Mum <3 mmmh. Keling food. :D :D :D

After lunch we went inside the room and chilled!

Keling partaaaaay.

(Look at GF's pose xD)

Missing someone. :(

We were all in our PJs today xD

This bishhh hacked my Twitter -_-.

We gossiped. Listened to songs. Gossiped some more.

I was laying on my tummy and they both start to check out my ass. 

'I'd tap that *winkwinks*' Lmaoooo.

More selfiessss.

Yaaaass

Sex cougar ^

I'm feeelin' myseeeeeelf

Uhmz.

#WERK

*catfight*

We're feelin' ourselves. HAHAHA.

So much laughter & craziness today.

And GF started to fart.

And I got annoyed so I lifted my legs,

and I literally blew them away.

 Like. Seriously HAHAHHA.

Take THAT bitcheeeeees!!!

GF's lil bro comes home and he sees me.

'HEY YOU!!!!' he says like as if he knows me HAHAHA. xD

Damn cute. He kept coming in and telling me I looked like Sufie Rashid. He then comes in with a notebook to ask for my autograph. LOL! I feeling-feeling a bit.

:3

Decided to go Northpoint with them for KFC Banditoooos.

Yay! <3

Chatted more till 9+ and decided it was time to go.

Had such a great Friday.

Thanks for the day out girls. See you at graduation?? :)

Ps. Finally got my grad letter!!!

Looks like I'm graduating after all. LOL.

Love, Eran.

Hope you had a great Friday.

Current Song Mood: Nicki Minaj Ft Beyonce - Feeling Myself

[Intro - Nicki Minaj:]
Yo B, they ready
Let's go

[Hook - Beyoncé:]
Feelin' myself, I'm feelin' myself
I'm feelin' my, feelin' myself
I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my, feelin' my, feelin' myself
I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my, feelin' myself
I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my

[Verse 1 - Nicki Minaj:]
I'm with some hood girls lookin' back at it
And a good girl in my tax bracket
Got a black card that let Saks have it
These Chanel bags is a bad habit
I-I do balls, Dal Mavericks, my Maybach, black matted
Bitch, never left but I'm back at it
And I'm feelin' myself, jack rabbit
Feelin' myself, back off,
Cause I'm feelin' myself, jack off
He be thinking about me when he whacks off
Whacks on? Wax off
National anthem hats off, then I curve that nigga, like a bad toss
Lemme get a number 2, with some Mac sauce
On The Run Tour, with my mask off

[Hook - Beyoncé:]
I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' myself
I'm feelin' my, feelin' myself
I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my, feelin' my, feelin' myself
I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my, feelin' myself
I'm feelin' myself, I'm feelin' my

[Bridge 1 - Beyoncé:]
Changed the game with that digital drop
Know where you was when that digital popped
I stopped the world
Male or female, it make no difference
I stop the world, world stop...
Carry on

[Verse 2 - Nicki Minaj:]
Kitty on peak, pretty on fleek
Pretty gang, always keep them niggas on geek
Ridin' through Texas, feed 'em for his breakfast
Every time I whip it, I be talkin' so reckless
He said, "Damn, Nicki, it's tight, " I say, "Yeah, nigga, you right."
He say, "Damn, bae, you so little, but you be really takin' that pipe."
I say, "Yes, daddy, I do, gimme brain like NYU."
I said, "Teach me, nigga, teach me. All this learnin' here is by you."

[Pre-Chorus - Beyoncé:]
I'm whippin' that work, he diggin' that work
I got it, 36 of that real
Hanky full of that bounce, baby
Come get you some of that bounce, baby

[Hook - Beyoncé]

[Bridge 2 - Nicki Minaj:]
Cookin' up the base, lookin' like a kilo
He just wanna taste, buildin' up my ego
Ego, ego, ego, ego, ego, ego, ego, ego
Ridin' through Texas, smokin' all off
Talkin' bout that high-grade,
Baby, hold up
I can kill your migraine

[Verse 3 - Nicki Minaj:]
Bitches ain't got punchlines or flow
I have both and an empire also
He gettin' gifts from Santa Claus at the North Pole
Today I'm icy, but I'm prayin' for some more snow
Let that ho ho, let that ho know, he in love with that coco
Why these bitches don't never be learnin'
You bitches will never get what I be earnin'
I'm still gettin' plaques, from my records that's urban
Ain't gotta rely on top 40
I am a rap legend, just go ask the kings of rap
Who is the queen and things of that
Nature, look at my finger, that is a glacier, hits like a lazer
Trippin' on that work, trippin' off that purp
Flippin' up my skirt and I be whippin' all that work
Takin' trips with all them ki's, car keys got b's
Stingin' with the Queen B and we be whippin' all that D
Cause we dope girls we flawless, we the poster girls for all this
We run around with them ballers, only real niggas on my call list
I'm the big kahuna, go let them whores know
Just on this song alone, bitch is on her fourth flow

[Outro - Nicki Minaj:]
You like it don't you? Snitches!
Young money