Lights On

Page 592

Darkness.

There's something comforting about it.

I love being in the dark.

The cold air around it.

As it surrounds and engulfs you.

It may seem scary.

But really, it makes me feel safe.

If that even makes sense.

I'd rather not keep the lights on.

And float away.

In the dark.

Into nothing.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: FKA Twigs - Lights On

I shy away in my mind
And hope someday I can share this place with you
You'll be the first one defined
The shadows that make the girl you undo
Cause the man that you are is defined
By the way that you act in the light
Break or seize me
If the flame gets blown out in the shine
I will know that you can not be mine
Live or leave me

[Chorus x2:]
When I trust you we can do it with the lights on
When I trust you we can do it with the lights on
When I trust you we'll make love until the morning
Let me tell you all my secrets and I'll whisper 'til the day's done

Break or seize me
Let the things that I tell you survive
In the way that you handle your size
Live or leave me

[Chorus x4]

Figure You Out

Page 591

What an interesting evening encounter today.

A genuine soul who gets intrigued with the smallest things.

Strikes conversations endlessly.

With certain rare innocence.

I was wondering.

When were you gonna stop talking.

And just make out with me.

But I was generally just as intrigued with who you were.

And what was on your mind.

Interesting.

I just can't figure you out.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Keke Palmer - Figure You Out

[Intro]

Oh

Oh (Hey)

Oh

[Verse 1]

You're like a puzzle, pieces are on the ground

Nothing but trouble, no one to bail me out

If we were flying, you know we be headed south

It's like rocket science cause I'm fighting, tryna work it out

[Pre-Chorus 1]

Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh

I'm going insane

Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh

[Chorus]

Oh, this is love/hate

Spinning my world around

I can't even think straight

With or without you now

Baby, for love's sake

Why can't you help me out?

Oh I just can't figure

I just can't figure you out

[Post-Chorus]

I just can't figure you out

I just can't figure

I just can't figure you out

[Verse 2]

You see me bleeding and you cut me for the thrill

I say, "I'm leaving", but my feet are standing still

You're like an angel doing the devil's will

Sometimes I wonder how I wandered underneath your spell

[Pre-Chorus 2]

Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh

You're wrecking my brain

Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh

[Chorus]

Oh, this is love/hate

Spinning my world around

I can't even think straight

With or without you now

Baby, for love's sake

Why can't you help me out?

Oh I just can't figure

I just can't figure you out

[Post-Chorus]

I just can't figure you out

I just can't figure

I just can't figure you out

[Outro]

(Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh)

Oh oh

(Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh)

Oh oh

(Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh)

Woah oh oh

I just can't figure

I just can't figure you out

(Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh)

Ooh yeah yeah yeah

(Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh)

No I can't, no I can't, ooh ooh

(Woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh, woah oh oh oh, oh oh oh)

I just can't

I just can't figure

I just can't figure you out

Gemini Feed

Page 590

Saw an old flame today, but I turned away.

Because the past is the past.

I'm in a different place now.

You and me together, we're gemini feed.

All my life I've met people who've tried to make me smaller than I already am.

Using me like a cheap tool.

Cowards.

Passive aggressive souls.

Who use words to put me down.

Well not anymore.

I'm not that little boy anymore.

I'm a man of my own now.

No more bullshit.

One day I'm gonna reveal it all.

In my own way.

Thank you BANKS for giving me the fuel & courage.

Ps.

Look out for this Goddess too.

The Altar. 

30th September.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Gemini Feed

Open up your eyes
There's nothing on my body left to see
I tried a thousand times
I tried to say 'I love you', but you didn't hear me
And you're passive-aggressive
Convinced me other people didn't care about me

And you're passive-aggressive
You're passive-aggressive
You're passive-aggressive

And to think you would get me to the altar
Like I follow you around like a dog that needs water
But admit it that you wanted me smaller
If you would have let me grow
You could have kept my love

Ode to my two thighs
I still want you to kiss 'em cause they're lonely
And why you so surprised?
And when I said I miss, you you never believed me?
And we were so depressive
You and me together we were gemini feed

And we were so depressive
We were so depressive
We were so depressive, hey

And to think you would get me to the altar
Like I follow you around like a dog that needs water
But admit it that you wanted me smaller
If you would have let me grow
You could have kept my love

And to think you would get me to the altar
Like I follow you around like a dog that needs water
But admit it that you wanted me smaller
If you would have let me grow
You could have kept my love

And to think you would get me to the altar
Like I follow you around like a dog that needs water
But admit it that you wanted me smaller
If you would have let me grow
You could have kept my love

Fuck Apologies

Page 589

I've been in a very dark mood lately.

Maybe I'm scared of the truth.

Maybe I'm scared for the future.

Maybe I just don't wanna know.

Whatever it is, I'll accept it.

Unapologetically.

I'm not perfect.

I make mistakes.

I've got pride.

This is me.

&

I'm not sorry for being myself.

Fuck Apologies.

Ps.

If you haven't gotten JoJo's newest empowering single, 'Fuck Apologies', you're missing out.

Soon you'll know why I f*ck with her so much.

This woman is gonna blow up again.

14 October.

Mad Love.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo Ft Wiz Khalifa - Fuck Apologies

[Wiz Khalifa:]
I ain't apologizing for shit
I do what I want, and JoJo does too, uh

[JoJo:]
Saw it in your eyes when you said goodbye
You didn't even try, so this time I don't care

And honestly I was just about to pick up the phone
And then I realized that I didn't do nothing wrong
You would even tell two lies to prove that you were right
Usually I'd go on and take the blame but not this time, not this time

What you want from me?
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
Fuck apologies
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
I'm not perfect, I got pride
That's not what it is this time
So fuck apologies
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
If I, if I, if I really meant it

I can't help that you, feel the way you do
Try not to get confused cause this time I don't care

And honestly I was just about to pick up the phone
And then I realized that I didn't do nothing wrong
Didn't do nothing wrong, ayy

What you want from me?
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
Fuck apologies
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
I'm not perfect, I got pride
That's not what it is this time
So fuck apologies
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
If I, if I, if I really meant it

[Wiz Khalifa:]
Okay, uh, no apologizing
Ain't no way to take the things you did back or disguise it
Always wonder what I'm doing but that's TMI
Don't know what you got until it's gone, now you realize it
When I wasn't playing smart now I'm being wise
Finally I'm moving on and I don't need your lies
And it wasn't even tough cause I can see the signs
Now you're stuck, call an Uber up if you need a ride

[JoJo:]
What you want from me?
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
(I don't mean it baby)
Fuck apologies
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
(I know)
I'm not perfect, I got pride
That's not what it is this time
So fuck apologies
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
What you want from me?
(I'm not sorry)
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
Fuck apologies
(Not saying it)
I'm not perfect, I got pride
That's not what it is this time
So fuck apologies
I would say I'm sorry if I really meant it
I would have said sorry a long time ago...
If I, if I, if I really meant it

If I, if I, if I really meant it

Give Up

Page 588

Cant even seem to catch a break

And enjoy a day off.

Mind's filled with work.

Its haunting.

This is unhealthy.

F*ck this shit. 

I give up.

On that too.

Finally deleted the apps off my phone.

They weren't doing me good anyway.

This lifestyle isn't for me.

 I'm sorry if I left anyone hanging.

I'm doing this for myself.

If you're still hopeful..

Then just give up on me.

Gonna set shit straight for myself this month.

I'm gonna focus.

I'm gonna change.

Love, Eran.

Its finally August..

Current Song Mood: FKA Twigs - Give Up

I give... Give, give

Tell me why I act this way
Tell me that I'll change someday
I'll be the one that can satisfy you
If I can't rectify the...

I give... Give, give

...Few things that I've got to change and a few things in my way
Okay, so I've said it before and won't imply that
You're not too close to the fact

Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up, babe
Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up, babe
I know that sometimes you wished I'd go away, away
Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up, babe

Don't we get another chance?
Did I make the final stand above the ones that are oh so perfect
'Cause they know how to work it, work it, work it?

I give... Give, give

Looking like I'll keep it now, I made the cut
Okay, so I've done it before and you think it's an act
But I call this time a wrap

Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up, babe
Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up, babe
I know that sometimes you wished I'd go away, away
I know that sometimes you wished I'd go away, away
But I'd wished that you would know that I'm here to stay, to stay
Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up, babe

Tell me what I got to do
Oh no, don't give up
I'll do everything to make it better, babe
I'll do anything
Bite, I'll bite
Do you like it like that? (Do you like it like that?)

Tell me what I've got to do
Oh no, don't give up
'Cause I'll do anything to make you see me, baby
(Give me your attention)
Bite, I'll make you better

I know that sometimes you wished I'd go away, away
I know that sometimes you wished I'd go away, away
But I'd wished that you would know that I'm here to stay, to stay

Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up, babe
Just nod your head and get up
I'm not going let you give up

I give...

Comfortable

Page 587

Just got back from camp.

Shagballz.

Glad that I could overcome my shyness today.

Finally able to get comfortable with you.

You're actually really dope and nice.

Thanks for all the chats and laughter.

It totally made time pass faster.

And made the wait more bearable.

Things are gonna get hectic this coming month.

I'm gonna have to be at my best mindset.

If only...

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Nick Jonas - Comfortable

Cause my faith in you is very comfortable for me
My faith in you, baby, is very comfortable for me

Never trust a door 'til it's open
Never trust a heart 'til it's a broken
I know you're the one who can break the mold
Iverson was like, told me practice
I don't need a mic cause the fact is
I'm living my life, it's hot and then cold, cold

So who are you catering to?
Who you fucking with when there ain't nobody fucking with you?
I told you I knew you before you even knew that you were you
Yeah I know you better than that, I know you better...

Cause my faith in you is very comfortable for me
My faith in you, baby, is very comfortable for me
I'm blazing through-ough-ough-ough
Until you're comfortable for me
My faith in you is very comfortable for me

Never met a beauty queen I didn't like
It doesn't mean it's alright and you gotta wife
I'm trying not to take my time, cause these ten's got friends
And I'm just tryna kick it with the girl in the back
Who doesn't give a damn
If I'm J from Brooklyn or just in the band
It's all the same, it's all the same in her eyes

Well who are you catering to?
Who you fucking with when there ain't nobody fucking with you?
I told you I knew you before you even knew that you were you
Yeah I know you better than that, I know you better...

Cause my faith in you is very comfortable for me
My faith in you, baby, is very comfortable for me
I'm blazing through-ough-ough-ough
Until you're comfortable for me
My faith in you is very comfortable for me

Not a game; not the game that...talk about, it's easy to sum it up when you just talk about practice...
we're sitting here, I'm supposed to be the franchise player, and we're in here talking about practice.
I mean, listen, we talking about practice. Not a game, not a game, not a game, we talking about practice.
Not a game; not the game that I go out there and die for and play every game like it's my last, not the game,
we're talking about practice, man. I mean, how silly is that? Man we're talking about practice.

I know I'm supposed to be there, I know I'm supposed to lead by example, I know that.
And I'm not shoving it aside like it don't mean anything.
Not the game, not the game, I'm not shoving it aside, you know, like it don't mean anything...

Cause my faith in you is very comfortable for me
My faith in you, baby, is very comfortable for me
I'm blazing through-ough-ough-ough
Until you're comfortable for me
My faith in you is very comfortable for me

Work From Home

Page 586

I'm so tired.

Overworked.

Drained.

Been such a hectic week.

I miss sleeping in my own bed. 

I wish there was a way to work from home.

For once, I'm saying that.

I can't wait to be free from all this.

I don't even have time for myself now.

Work, work, work.

Sigh.

Love, Eran.

 Current Song Mood: Fifth Harmony Ft Ty Dolla $ign - Work From Home

I ain't worried 'bout nothin'
I ain't wearin' na nada
I'm sittin' pretty, impatient, but I know you gotta
Put in them hours, I'mma make it harder
I'm sending pic after picture, I'mma get you fired

I know you're always on the night shift
But I can't stand these nights alone
And I don't need no explanation
'Cause baby, you're the boss at home

You don't gotta go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work
But you gotta put in work, work, work, work, work, work, work
You don't gotta go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work
Let my body do the work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh

Let's put it into motion
I'mma give you a promotion
I'll make it feel like a vacay, turn the bed into an ocean
We don't need nobody, I just need your body
Nothin' but sheets in between us, ain't no getting off early

I know you're always on the night shift
But I can't stand these nights alone
And I don't need no explanation
'Cause baby, you're the boss at home

You don't gotta go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work
But you gotta put in work, work, work, work, work, work, work
You don't gotta go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work
Let my body do the work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh

[Ty Dolla $ign:]
Girl, go to work for me
Can you make it clap, no hands for me?
Take it to the ground, pick it up for me
Look back at it all over me
Put in work like my timesheet
She ride it like a '63
I'mma buy her no Celine
Let her ride in a foreign with me
Oh, she the bae, I'm her boo
And she down to break the rules
Ride or die, she gon' go
I won't judge, she finesse
I pipe up, she take that
Putting overtime on your body

You don't gotta go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work
But you gotta put in work, work, work, work, work, work, work
You don't gotta go to work, work, work, work, work, work, work
Let my body do the work, work, work, work, work, work, work, work
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh
We can work from home, oh, oh, oh-oh

Yeah, we can work from home
Yeah, we can work from home
Yeah