LUST.

Page 756

D held my face.

'You're cute. I like... guys your size.'

D pinched my cheeks.

I looked up from whatever I was doing and blushed.

Our gazes met, and something sparked.

And I flashed a little smile.

'Thanks...'

'For you.. I'll try.' D said as D pulled me.

And I leaned in.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Differentiate between LUST and LOVE.

There's a goddamn difference.

If you want to know the real answer,

Rub one out and ask yourself again.

Are you in love?

Or is it something else.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Kendrick Lamar - LUST.

[Kendrick Lamar:]
I need some water
Somethin' came over me
Way too hot to simmer down
Might as well overheat
Too close to comfort
As blood rush my favorite vein
Heartbeat racin' like a junkie's
I just need you to want me
Am I askin' too much?
Let me put the head in
Ooh, I don't want more than that
Girl, I respect the cat
I promise just a touch
Let me put the head in
If it's okay
She said, "It's okay."

[Kendrick Lamar:]
Yeah, I need everybody's motherfuckin' hands up right now
I need everybody's motherfuckin'-
[RAT BOY:]
Door and his Nike Air Rattles
Rush the fire exit, no time for battles
Well I, I never expected
[Kendrick Lamar:]
This that new shit
This that new, new shit

[Kendrick Lamar:]
Wake up in the mornin'
Thinkin' 'bout money, kick your feet up
Watch you a comedy, take a shit, then roll some weed up
Go hit you a lick, go fuck on a bitch
Don't go to work today, cop you a fit
Or maybe some kicks and make you-
[RAT BOY:]
Door in his Nike Air Rattles
Rush the fire exit, no time for battles
Well I, I never expected
[Kendrick Lamar:]
Wake up in the mornin'
Thinkin' 'bout money, kick your feet up
Watch you a comedy- hol' up!
Wake up in the mornin'
Thinkin' 'bout money, kick your feet up
Watch you a comedy, take a shit, then roll some weed up
Go hit you a lick, go fuck on a bitch, don't go to work today
Cop you a fit or maybe some kicks and make it work today
Hang with your homies, stunt on your baby mama
Sip some lean, go get a pistol, shoot out the window
Bet your favorite team, play you some Madden
Go to the club or your mama house
Whatever you doin', just make it count
(I need some water)
Wake up in the mornin'
Thinkin' 'bout money, kick your feet up
Hop in the shower, put on your makeup, lace your weave up
Touch on yourself, call up your nigga, tell him he ain't shit
Credit card scam, get you a Visa, make him pay your rent
Hop on the 'Gram, flex on the bitches that be hatin' on you
Pop you a pill, call up your bitches, have 'em waitin' on you
Go to the club, have you some fun, make that ass bounce
It's whatever, just make it count

[Kendrick Lamar:]
I need some water
Somethin' came over me
Way too hot to simmer down
Might as well overheat
Too close to comfort
As blood rush my favorite vein
Heartbeat racin' like a junkie's
I just need you to want me
Am I askin' too much?
Let me put the head in
Ooh, I don't want more than that
Girl, I respect the cat
I promise just a touch
Let me put the head in
If it's okay
She said, "It's okay."

I wake in the mornin', my head spinnin' from the last night
Both in the trance, feelings I did-what a fast life!
Manager called, the lobby called, it's 11: 30
Did this before, promised myself I'd be a hour early
Room full of clothes, bag full of money: call it loose change
Fumbled my jewelry, 100k, I lost a new chain
Hop on the bird, hit the next city for another M
Take me a nap and do it again
We all woke up, tryna tune to the daily news
Lookin' for confirmation, hopin' election wasn't true
All of us worried, all of us buried, and our feeling's deep
None of us married to his proposal, make us feel cheap
Still and sad, distraught and mad, tell the neighbor 'bout it
Bet they agree, parade the streets with your voice proudly
Time passin', things change
Revertin' back to our daily programs, stuck in our ways; Lust

Lately, I feel like I been lustin' over the fame
Lately, we lust on the same routine of shame
Lately, lately, lately, my lust been hidin' (Lately)
Lately, it's all contradiction
Lately, I'm not here
Lately, I lust over self
Lust turn into fear
Lately, in James 4: 4 says
Friend of the world is enemy of the Lord
Brace yourself, lust is all yours

I need some water
Somethin' came over me
Way too high to simmer down
Might as well overheat
Too close to comfort
As blood rush my favorite vein
Heartbeat racin' like a junkie's
I just need you to want me
Am I askin' too much?
Let me put the head in
Ooh, I don't want more than that
Girl, I respect the cat
I promise just a touch
Let me put the head in
If it's okay
She said, "It's okay."

Up All Night

Page 755

One of my rare off days today.

Feeling rejuvenated.

I needed this.

There's so many things to be thankful for.

To appreciate in life.

I have to remember that.

Count your blessings.

It's the little things that matter.

All these feelings inside..

Are gonna keep me up all night. 

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: David Archuleta - Up All Night

I am knocking, standing at your door
Somewhere new I've never been before
Take me in and it feels like home
It's getting late and I don't wanna go

Something simple in the way this feels
Like love is, something pure and real
It's getting late and I have to leave
But tonight your memory is holding me
(I'm wide awake with)

All these feelings inside, keeping me up all night
All these feelings inside
(I'm wide awake with)
All these feelings inside, keeping me up all night
Pictures that cross my mind
They keeping me up all night
They keeping me up all night
They keeping me up all night
Keeping me up all night

Hear my heart, and there's an answered prayer
Feel the magic in the midnight air
Breathe it in, I wanna pass it on
The strength of fighting somewhere you belong
(I'm wide awake with)

All these feelings inside, keeping me up all night
All these feelings inside
(I'm wide awake with)
All these feelings inside, keeping me up all night
Pictures that cross my mind
They keeping me up all night
They keeping me up all night
They keeping me up all night
Keeping me up all night

Hands so small but I am safe and sound
Where I stand it feels like solid ground
No where else that I'd rather be
No greater gift than what you've given me

All these feelings inside, keeping me up all night
All these feelings inside
(I'm wide awake with)
All these feelings inside, keeping me up all night
Pictures that cross my mind
They keeping me up all night
They keeping me up all night
Keeping me up all night
Keeping me up all night

They keeping me up, keeping me up all night

Piece Of Mind

Page 754

Phew.

Feels like a long run has come to an end.

Finally in the O R D mood.

Well, maybe 75% haha.

Forever suck at making decisions.

But I have to do what's right...

What feels right for myself.

Follow my gut..

I know it's worth it.

It's the right thing to do.

Then only, I can have a peace piece of mind.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Kehlani - Piece Of Mind

Tryna forget all of the messages
Tryna forget all of the stressin'
'Cause damn it was
Tryna forget all of the secondary
Feelings I had, man, it was fuckin' scary
Tryna get back to all my old ways
Tryna get back to all the hobbies from my old days
(Gettin' back)
Tryna forget all the unnecessary
Thoughts from my head, man, it was pretty scary

At least I learned a thing or two (yeah)
About me and you (yeah)
What we went through (yeah)
It made me who I am, I am, I am
I can feel again
Won't be numb again (numb)
At least I didn't mess it up (yeah)
That was all your touch (yeah)
I don't miss it much (yeah)
But it made me who I am, I am, I am
I can feel again
Won't be dumb again (dumb)

Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind
A piece of mind that I can't get right
(I can't get right)
Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind
A piece of mind, my heart's on my side
(My heart is on my side)

You said yourself you made me who I am
You told me that after you I would never love again (Didn't I?)
Oh you made sure that I would lose myself
So I wanna see I need no one else
Just tell me that I was worth a million smiles, and...
Tell me that I was worth a million miles, and...
Tryna make sure that I forget the times that
You made me think that I just couldn't shine, yeah

At least I learned a thing or two (yeah)
About me and you (yeah)
What we went through (yeah)
It made me who I am, I am, I am
I can feel again
Won't be numb again (numb)
At least I didn't mess it up (yeah)
That was all your touch (yeah)
I don't miss it much (yeah)
But it made me who I am, I am, I am
I can feel again
Won't be dumb again (numb)

Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind
A piece of mind that I can't get right
(I can't get right)
Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind
A piece of mind, my heart's on my side
(My heart is on my side)

On my side, yeah
On my side, yeah
Gotta get a little piece of mind
Gotta make sure that it feels just right
Gotta make sure that I make it alive this time

Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind
(I'm tryna break off)
A piece of mind that I can't get right
(Boy that I can't get right)
Said I'm tryna break off a piece of mind
(A piace of mind)
A piece of mind, my heart's on my side
(My heart is on my side
My heart's on my side, yeah, yeah)

Da, da, da, da
(Da)
Da, da, da, da
Yeah
Da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da
Da, da, da, da

I Only Miss You When I Breathe

Page 753

Cant help but get triggered every now and then.

I'm an emotional person.

And my soul can't help but wonder.

What have I become? 

I'm so much better than what you portrayed me.

It's exhausting.

What you chose..

As long as you're happy.

Don't even know if you still keep up on me.

But I do.

I only miss you when I breathe.

And that itself says a lot.

Love, Eran

Current Song Mood: Christina Grimmie - I Only Miss You When I Breathe

Mmmm
Hey
Hoo

Love is a strange thing
It sets you on fire
It keeps you burning day and night
There's no doubt that you're alive
Love is a cold thing
Suddenly frozen
Tearing your heart into a million
Piece by piece

All my friends say It wasn't true love
I shouldn't waste my tears on you but
They don't know that I
I only miss you when I breathe

Oh oh
I only miss you when I breathe
Oh
I only miss you when I didn't think I'd say but I
Only miss you when I breathe
Oh

Love is delusion
Often to see things
It's magic how it feels when you fall head over heels
Leaving you broken, leaving you bruised
But love is a power
Making you stronger
So why do I always

Only miss you when I breathe
Oh oh
I only miss you when I breathe
Oh
I only miss you when I didn't think I'd say it but I
Only miss you when I breathe
Oh oh

Oh-oh-oh (Oh-oh)
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh (Oh-oh)
Oh-oh-oh

All my friends say It wasn't true love
I shouldn't waste my tears on you but
They don't know that I
Only miss you when I breathe
Yeah

I only miss you when I breathe (Oh)
I only miss you when I breathe
Oh oh

Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh (I only miss you when I breathe)
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh (I only miss you when I breathe)
Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh
Oh-oh

The Game

Page 752

Crazy day it's been.

A lot of messed up things happened, but I guess it's part of the plan.

Part of the game.

One that I'm getting used to playing.

Honestly, things can change so fast in an instant.

That's life huh.

It's up to you to see either the darkness or the light in difficult situations.

For me... I honestly can't give anymore fucks.

I won't apologise for shit.

I've already done a lot for this goddamn place.

And to be punished for something I'm not at fault of, is pretty damn fucked up.

Even those I work close with, knows I don't deserve it.

But it doesn't matter.

In this organisation, you have to suck it alllll up.

It's fine tho.

This doesn't and shouldn't affect me.

I'm just sick and tired of bullshit & unnecessary drama.

I'm done.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Christina Grimmie - The Game

Yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah

Yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah

Mmm

I called and I wait and a wait went around

And cry with the sound of my heart

Beating for someone that just doesn’t pay attention anyway

And I smile when it hurts

To take a breath that day

When you held me and touched my face

Said you wanted to sleep by my side

So I pray

Your just a busy bee

And can’t get to the phone right now

Cause your playing your game

And I hate the sound that it makes

When you heard us sick and tired of taking your stupid play

And just because of you

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never any other way

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never any other way

Just because of you

I laugh and cry at the same time

His game

He was a pro

He knew all the rules

Had me wrap [?] around his dirty finger

What I don’t understand is that I’ll fall for a man

Who really ain’t a man at all

If you know what I’m talking about then

I’m not even gonna complain

Cause I’m sick and tired of taking two of a stupid play

And just because of you

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never any other way

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never any other way

Just because of you

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never any other way

Oh

I throw my hands up in the air because I care

I throw my hands up in the air cause it’s not fair

You don’t care

It’s not fair

Yeah

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never ever gonna change

And just because of you

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never any other way

I laugh and cry at the same time

It’s never ever gonna change

Just because of you

I laugh and cry at the same time

Yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah

Yeah-eah-eah-eah-eah

Foolish

Page 751

Somehow reconnected with an old flame.

Once bitten, twice shy.

I should know by now.

Been through so much bullshit through apps and fake people.

All I want is a honest, open relationship.

Communication is vital.

I don't know if this is another game.

But I'm just gonna give it a try.

Cautious with a knife behind my back.

No more being foolish.

Love, Eran.

Or maybe I'm still falling for you?

Current Song Mood: Rebecca Black - Foolish

[Verse 1]
Lipstick and Polaroids
Late night hanging with your boy
Record player playing white noise
That's the way, that's the way I
Like it when the stars are out
Drop top cruising out of town
You and me, it's going down
That's the way, that's the way

[Pre-Chorus]
Hold me down, I'll play your game
Kiss until I, I
I'm addicted to your everything, everything

[Chorus]
My body's tripping on you
Feeling higher than the moon
Got me trying something new
Falling into you, foolish
My body's tripping on you
Feeling higher than the moon
Got me trying something new
Falling into you, foolish

[Verse 2]
Black nails and denim jeans
Every night feeling like a dream
Always know just what I need
That's the way, that's the way I
Like it when you play a little rough
Breathe you in, can't get enough
Keep it in, oh, I need a rush
That's the way, that's the way

[Pre-Chorus]
Hold me down, I'll play your game
Kiss until I, I
I'm addicted to your everything, everything

[Chorus]
My body's tripping on you
Feeling higher than the moon
Got me trying something new
Falling into you, foolish
My body's tripping on you
Feeling higher than the moon
Got me trying something new
Falling into you, foolish

[Bridge]
Blurring all the lines, lost in paradise
Woah, woah
Baby stay the night, fading out of time
Woah, woah

[Chorus]
My body's tripping on you
Feeling higher than the moon
Got me trying something new
Falling into you, foolish
My body's tripping on you
Feeling higher than the moon
Got me trying something new
Falling into you, foolish

[Outro]
Falling into you, foolish
Falling into you, foolish

Crowded Places

Page 750

In the ups and downs of life, we often forget who we are.

I managed to find myself during my peace trip in Thailand.

And sad to say, I guess I lost myself for a bit during the past few months.

Social Anxiety and Insecurity has always been a never-ending struggle.

I've always had trouble opening up to people. I've always avoided eye contact with strangers. I've always got stage fright when I'm performing. I've always been scared of crowded places. Feeling like thousands of eyes are on me, always judging. This awkward nature of mine has gotten better over the years, but it still happens.

And when someone - a role model - I looked up to, did something to hurt me recently, I found myself getting triggered and badly hurt. It's a constant battle against people who make me feel smaller than I already am. People who don't understand the nature of social anxiety.

So for the past few weekends, I've actually been locking myself up at home.

Been doing a lot of self-reflection.

A lot of therapy.

And then I realised that.. I don't need to explain myself.

I don't need a point to prove to anyone.

I don't need to be scared of crowded places.

I don't need to be scared of things that are not in my control.

I don't need to be scared of being myself.

So what if you have good looks?

So what if you are rich?

So what if you uphold a high rank?

Bullying, and looking down upon others doesn't make you superior.

It makes you a coward.

And I've dealt with enough cowards in my life.

You've already tarnished your image in my eyes.

And I don't care even if only I know that.

I'm not gonna apologise for who I am.

And no one else should judge you for who you are.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Crowded Places

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

I wanna get you in my spaces
I wanna take you different places
I know the touring is romantic
I know you see me as a frantic girl
But I can give you what you want
I know you like the way I held my temper
When I gave you to the world, gave you to the world
I can be your heart to let go

'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home

I know I messed with your head
It was just when I left you
When I was just blowing up when I said
Remember when I loved you right before that tour?
You said you didn't want to see me anymore
And then when I got home when I played that show in L.A
All your shit was gone
It was the only time I thought I'd made a mistake
And when I only want to hold you
I thought I wanted you to hold me

'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home

It falls to death so talk with me
This life, what if it's you and me?
Don't know, oh no
Maybe that means we'll fall from grace
It'd be ok, I'd have your face with me
You'll see, you'll see, you'll see, you'll see

'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

Lust For Life

Page 749

TGIF!!!

Honestly, it was a pretty chill Friday.

Woke up early to go for a cover for an Advanced School in my camp.

It's been a while since I went for one...

And the cooling, rainy weather made me feel so at comfortable.

I made friends with a new driver.

He was pretty sociable haha and we clicked almost instantly.

I bumped into an ex-cadet from Buddy's old wing, who was now a Captain.

He acknowledged me, and we chatted for a bit :) Glad to see he's doing well.

I saw my old OC from Ninja, in that same wing, and I felt damn nostalgic.

Halfway through there was a casualty who wasnt feeling well and got really weak.

I got him to rest up and stay hydrated.

And he felt much better in the end. He even went over to me personally to thank me and shake my hand.

It's these little things that touch me.. :)

After my cover, I went to the canteen with le driver to have breakfast.

And I bumped into.. guess who???? BUDDY hahahahaha.

Gave him a hug and he told me all about his future plans and also even invited me in on it.

So proud of you, and I can't wait for what's to come. :)

Then as I was having breakfast, I bumped into HFZ lmao. The amount of people I bumped into today....

We ate together and talked cock and then the driver sent me back.

Seeing all these people who have been a part of my life.. it made me feel a certain way.

It's like everything I've been through just falls together in place.

I have a lust for life.

And I just wanna live and experience and grow into the best person I can be.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lana Del Rey Ft The Weeknd - Lust For Life

[Lana Del Rey:]
Climb up the H
Of the Hollywood sign, yeah
In these stolen moments
The world is mine (do it, do it)
There's nobody here
Just us together (shut up, shut up)
Keepin' me hot
Like July forever

'Cause we're the masters of our own fate
We're the captains of our own souls
There's no way for us to come away
'Cause boy we're gold, boy we're gold
And I was like...

[Lana Del Rey & The Weeknd:]
Take off, take off
Take off all your clothes
Take off, take off
Take off all your clothes
Take off, take off
Take off all of your clothes
They say only the good die young
That just ain't right
'Cause we're having too much fun
Too much fun tonight, yeah

And a lust for life, and a lust for life
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

Then, we dance on the H
Of the Hollywood sign, yeah
'Til we run out of breath
Gotta dance 'til we die (duwop, duwop)
My boyfriend's back
And he's cooler than ever (shuwop, shuwop)
There's no more night
Blue skies forever

[The Weeknd:]
'Cause we're the masters of our own fate
We're the captains of our own souls
So there's no need for us to hesitate
We're all alone, let's take control
And I was like...

[The Weeknd & Lana Del Rey:]
Take off, take off
Take off all your clothes
Take off, take off
Take off all your clothes
Take off, take off
Take off all of your clothes
They say only the good die young
That just ain't right
'Cause we're having too much fun
Too much fun tonight, yeah

And a lust for life, and a lust for life
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

My boyfriend's back
And he's cooler than ever
There's no more night
Blue skies forever
I told you twice
In our love letter
There's no stopping now
Green lights forever
And I was like...

[Lana Del Rey:]
Take off, take off
Take off all your clothes
Take off, take off
Take off all your clothes
Take off, take off
Take off all of your clothes

[Lana Del Rey & The Weeknd:]
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
And a lust for life, and a lust for life
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive
Keeps us alive, keeps us alive

Hard Times

Page 748

I'd like to apologise to my team.

I know I could've performed better.

And I know that we could've gotten better results.

I know that I could've made everyone proud.

But the fact is, I didnt.

And to be the reason for that...

It's painful.

Disappointing.

But, no excuses.

I'm gonna take it like a man.

These hard times.. won't break me.

It won't break us.

Love, Eran.

Let me hit rock bottom.

Current Song Mood: Paramore - Hard Times

All that I want
Is to wake up fine
Tell me that I'm alright
That I ain't gonna die
All that I want
Is a hole in the ground
You can tell me when it's alright
For me to come out

Hard times
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
Hard times
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
These lives
And I still don't know how I even survive
Hard times
Hard times
And I gotta get to rock bottom

Walking around
With my little raincloud
Hanging over my head
And it ain't coming down
Where do I go?
Gimme some sort of sign
Hit me with lightning!
Maybe I'll come alive

Hard times
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
Hard times
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
These lives
And I still don't know how I even survive
Hard times
Hard times
And I gotta get to rock bottom

Tell my friends I'm coming down
We'll kick it when I hit the ground
Tell my friends I'm coming down
We'll kick it when I hit the ground
When I hit the ground

Hard times
Gonna make you wonder why you even try
Hard times
Gonna take you down and laugh when you cry
These lives
And I still don't know how I even survive
Hard times
Hard times
And I gotta get to rock bottom

Can't Have Everything

Page 747

How do you fill in shoes so deep.. without changing who you are?

All I want is to make my parents happy.

Be successful.

Make em proud of me.

But how can I do that without bruising myself?

Sigh.

You really can't have everything.

There's always.. a catch.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Drake - Cant Have Everything

[Drake:]
Yeah, uh, man, fresh up out the sand
February 10, it's the boy, but I'm still the man
Come and get your mans
I don't know, first you caught the hands
Then you took the stand
It's a joke, but you say you real-I don't understand
On a yacht, me and all the dogs actin' like some dogs
We evolved, used to think vacation meant Niagara Falls
Swear to God, shout to Buffalo, never duckin' low
I don't stop, man, I'm stuck on go, always hug the row
Fuck a opp, make his body roll, yeah, a lot of those
Started out doin' college shows, Calipari flow
Then I popped like you never seen
We with everything, I went off in the '16, give me '17

Want a lot, can't have everything
Can't have everything
Want a lot, can't have everything
But I want everything

Bad attitude, tellin' who to calm down?
Tryna cool it all down
Who's callin' my name? Who's involved now?
Tell me who I gotta down, I'll do a song now, man
Even though there's way less to prove to y'all now, man
Everything that went around is comin' back around
Y'all better hit the ground
Goddamn, beef forever unfinished
Yeah, it's all open ended, had me off for a minute
Had you all since beginnin'
Damn, I must be coachin', 'cause I'm not playin' with them
Can you not see the difference?
I mean, I keep the fuckin' lights on in the buildin'
Man, my record deal should be 500 million, goddamn

Can't have everything
Can't have everything
Want a lot, can't have everything
But I want everything

Finally got my mind in a free state
Niggas tried to serve me up a cheesesteak
I gave them back a clean plate
Same niggas preein', 'cause they hate to see the team straight
Same niggas beakin' always duckin' my release date
That's when the phone starts ringin', like, "Are we straight?"
Two-faced nigga back around with the three face
Damn, oh, triple double, Russ face
Watch with the bust face
Never met the plug, but I rap about the plug face
Never met my self, I don't remember who I was face
Y'all fuckin' hilarious
Y'all really think you niggas teamin' up and scarin' us
Y'all niggas is arrogant, y'all sleep at the Sheraton
All that shit embarrassin'
Tell your big homie I'm all for goin' there again
He ain't even die and I ball with his inheritance
All that's in my account at the Bank of America
All that Drake hysteria
Six side, east side, all that for my area

[Sandi Graham:]
You know, hun, I'm a bit concerned about this negative tone that I'm hearing in your voice these days. I can appreciate where your uncertainly stems from and you have reason to question your anxieties and how disillusioned you feel, as well as feeling skeptical about who you believe you can trust. But that attitude will just hold you back in this life, and you're going to continue to feel alienated. Give some thought to this, because I'm confident in you, and I know you can reach your desired destination and accomplish your goals much more quickly without this confrontation I'm hearing in your tone these days. When others go low, we go high.