Crowded Places

Page 750

In the ups and downs of life, we often forget who we are.

I managed to find myself during my peace trip in Thailand.

And sad to say, I guess I lost myself for a bit during the past few months.

Social Anxiety and Insecurity has always been a never-ending struggle.

I've always had trouble opening up to people. I've always avoided eye contact with strangers. I've always got stage fright when I'm performing. I've always been scared of crowded places. Feeling like thousands of eyes are on me, always judging. This awkward nature of mine has gotten better over the years, but it still happens.

And when someone - a role model - I looked up to, did something to hurt me recently, I found myself getting triggered and badly hurt. It's a constant battle against people who make me feel smaller than I already am. People who don't understand the nature of social anxiety.

So for the past few weekends, I've actually been locking myself up at home.

Been doing a lot of self-reflection.

A lot of therapy.

And then I realised that.. I don't need to explain myself.

I don't need a point to prove to anyone.

I don't need to be scared of crowded places.

I don't need to be scared of things that are not in my control.

I don't need to be scared of being myself.

So what if you have good looks?

So what if you are rich?

So what if you uphold a high rank?

Bullying, and looking down upon others doesn't make you superior.

It makes you a coward.

And I've dealt with enough cowards in my life.

You've already tarnished your image in my eyes.

And I don't care even if only I know that.

I'm not gonna apologise for who I am.

And no one else should judge you for who you are.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Crowded Places

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey

I wanna get you in my spaces
I wanna take you different places
I know the touring is romantic
I know you see me as a frantic girl
But I can give you what you want
I know you like the way I held my temper
When I gave you to the world, gave you to the world
I can be your heart to let go

'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home

I know I messed with your head
It was just when I left you
When I was just blowing up when I said
Remember when I loved you right before that tour?
You said you didn't want to see me anymore
And then when I got home when I played that show in L.A
All your shit was gone
It was the only time I thought I'd made a mistake
And when I only want to hold you
I thought I wanted you to hold me

'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
Come with me, I'll take you home

It falls to death so talk with me
This life, what if it's you and me?
Don't know, oh no
Maybe that means we'll fall from grace
It'd be ok, I'd have your face with me
You'll see, you'll see, you'll see, you'll see

'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places
'Cause I've been scared of crowded places
I've been scared of crowded places

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey
Hey, hey, hey, hey