Showing posts with label Gasoline. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Gasoline. Show all posts

Friday, November 20, 2015

Gasoline

Page 427

Don't know what's been running through my head lately.

This week was full of emotions for me.

And very, very tiring.

I've never laughed so hard. I've never smiled so wide.

Maybe there was a little bit of anger. And a little bit of sadness.

A hint of jealousy.

My emotions were all over the place.

Cant help but feel a little overpowered.

A little overshadowed.

That's just me.

I'm deranged.

I need something to keep me going.

To fuel me.

Like gasoline.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Halsey - Gasoline

Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me?
Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me?
Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me?
Would you use your water bill to dry the stain like me?

Are you high enough without the Mary Jane like me?
Do you tear yourself apart to entertain like me?
Do the people whisper 'bout you on the train like me?
Saying that you shouldn't waste your pretty face like me?

And all the people say,

"You can't wake up, this is not a dream,
You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,
With your face all made up, living on a screen,
Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline."

Oh, oh, oh, oh,
I think there's a flaw in my code,
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
These voices won't leave me alone,

Well my heart is golden, my hands are cold,

Are you deranged like me? Are you strange like me?
Lighting matches just to swallow up the flame like me?
Do you call yourself a fucking hurricane like me?
Pointing fingers cause you'll never take the blame like me?

And all the people say,

"You can't wake up, this is not a dream,
You're part of a machine, you are not a human being,
With your face all made up, living on a screen,
Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline."

Oh, oh, oh, oh,
I think there's a flaw in my code,
Oh, oh, oh, oh,
These voices won't leave me alone,

Well my heart is golden, my hands are cold.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Gasoline

Page 130


Fresh cut. Fresh start.

I woke up early this morning, scrolled my Whatsapp chats and realised something.

My messages weren't getting delivered.
Your profile picture was removed.
I couldn't get through you.

You blocked me and I had no idea why.

I felt so numb the entire day. I'm not usually a person who will beg for answers. But I did. On another social platform. And you didnt even bother to reply too. I really didn't know what to do. I just want to know where I went wrong. This feeling of heartbreak, I'm all too familiar with. I was on the verge of breaking down, and coincidentally GF called to talk about her problems.

My GF was right. Maybe you just wanted me for the cheap thrill. And I enjoyed it, I really did. While it lasted.

I hope you enjoy your life, now that you've blocked me out of your life. Have fun fucking around with other guys.

To my GF: We share almost the same fate, but I know we're going to get through this together. I love you. Thanks for being there for me. <3

PRCP starts tomorrow. So this is it. Gonna be working all the way from now on. Alone. I'm really afraid of what's to come. But let's do this. Just 4 months till freedom...

Love, Eran

Just set my heart on fire, just like gasoline.

Current Song Mood: Troye Sivan - Gasoline

I smell heartbreak on my hands
I feel sick to my stomach as I begin to stand
I see your outline in my bed
In the same spot I watched him rest his head

I’ve done you wrong, I regret it
I write this song, try to forget it
I feel this emptiness in my chest
It feels surreal, but I’m feeling stressed

I need to do something
I fucked up for nothing
Now I gotta just tell someone,
Tell someone what I’ve done


Please bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Oh, no, like gasoline

I wake up the morning after
You call but I don’t answer
And I can’t look you in the eye,
No matter how hard I try

You deserve forever,
not a boy looking for better
But as long as you’re still here,
Imma try to keep you near

Please bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline

Please bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline
Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline

Bathe me now, wash me clean
Just set my heart on fire, just like gasoline