Personal

Page 741

How disappointing.

And disgusting, even.

I've spent way too much time in my life worrying about what others think of me.

And when I finally come across an indirect insult towards myself, it just gets me so bad.

At this age and time, things just don't seem to change, does it?

Those with money & looks just get what they want easily.

And those that are average.. Remain average.

What sad, sad world we live in.

I'm not gonna let this affect me so much man.

Because I know I'm stronger this.

Don't take things so damn personal.

Stop the hate.

Spread the love.

Cause that's all that I freakin' have.

Love, Eran.

And you can forget about me taking care of your sick ass in the sickbay.

I'm done with you.

Current Song Mood: Kehlani - Personal

They sleeping, they sleeping, they sleeping, they sleeping on me
But I don't waste my time tryna prove that I'm something to see, oh I
The real ones they know and the ones that do not I don't need
'Cause mostly the vision and I give reasons to believe

That I'm honest, I'm honest, I'm telling no lies
When I say I'm up next I'm not just for the ride
Never a point when I questioned my mind
Know what I'm doing, I pay for this time
Come up regardless, I'm comin regardless
I'm hungry, I'm starving, remaining a topic
Never an option, got your undivided whenever I'm plotting

Don't take it personal, personal, personal
Don't take it personal, personal, personal
I know it hurts to know, hurts to know, hurts to know
I don't want it (na, na, na), don't need it (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Don't take it personal, personal, personal
Don't take it personal, personal, personal
I know it hurts to know, hurts to know, hurts to know
I don't want it (na, na, na), don't need it (yeah, yeah, yeah)

I know that you hear this and you gon' just know that I'm speaking to you
Shouldn't have got so ahead of yourself now you're losing your cool
I know that you know that I'm right, you admit it that I am the truth
But look you at you now, look at your face, looking sad in the booth

Signed off a tape, chewed off a tape, did it alone, and I ain't touched a plate
You was my nigga, we could have been great
You so far gone, got you thinking you're safe
All said and done you lost my respect
All said and done you're the one I regret
Now you gon' watch from the crowd
Lookin' up like the rest

Don't take it personal, personal, personal (Look)
Don't take it personal, personal, personal (I need you to promise me one thing)
I know it hurts to know, hurts to know, hurts to know (That you not gon' take it like that)
I don't want it, don't need it
Don't take it personal, personal, personal (Promise me that you won't take it)
Don't take it personal, personal, personal (Swear to me that you won't take it)
I know it hurts to know, hurts to know, hurts to know
I don't want it, don't need it

No I could never judge anyone I loved
Even if you lose sight of all the things I've done
I'm not who I once was
These days I'm all grown up
I fuck with me heavy
I'm all chose up

And I only did right by you
When you fucked her I survived by you
Prayin for the girls that believe your news
Prayin for myself cause I be all truth
I got good heart, good soul, good sex, no stress
Next for me is best
Don't you run your mouth
Cause in this song I say it best

Don't take it personal, personal, personal
Don't take it personal, personal, personal
I know it hurts to know, hurts to know, hurts to know
I don't want it, don't need it
Don't take it personal, personal, personal
Don't take it personal, personal, personal
I know it hurts to know, hurts to know, hurts to know
I don't want it, don't need it

Personal

Page 100

Hello. To start this 100th post off, I wanna do this 100-questions thingy I found from the internet hehehe.

1. Last kiss - 9 months ago
2. Last phone call - Yesterday
3. Last text message - 5 mins ago
4. Last song you listened to - Ariana Grande - My Everything
5. Last time you cried - last month, the day before fasting started.

HAVE YOU EVER: 
6. Dated someone twice - Lol uhm.. Kinda. But no I guess not.
7. Been cheated on - I probably did.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it - Yep.
9. Lost someone special - Yeah..
10. Been depressed - Definitely did.
11. Been drunk and threw up - Never.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: 
12. had sex - Does masturbating count.
13. How many people have you had sex with this year? - What kind of sex? LOL.
15. Made a new friend - Lots. =)
17. Laughed until you cried - Yes.
18. Met someone who changed you -Yep.. :)
19. Found out who your true friends were - OHHH DEFINITELY. Year 3 = true colours come out.
20. Found out someone was talking about you - Lol yes..
26. What did you do for your last Birthday - Well I had school. But I was surprised 3 times over 2 days by my friends haha. <3
27. What time did you wake up today - 11am
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for - For JoJo to finally release her highly-anticipated 3rd album.
30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time - Very rarely actually o_o a couple months ago i guess.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life - Get motivated to workout
32. What are you listening to right now - Ariana Grande's newest album!!
33. When is the last time you had sex? - Ahem. I'm a virgin la.
34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now - My family.
35. Most visited webpage - Twitter
36. Favorite colour - Baby Blue
37. Nicknames - Eran, Syah
38. Relationship Status - Friends with benefits (epp)
39. Zodiac sign - Aquarius
40. Male or female - Male
41. Primary school - Peixin Primary School
42. Secondary School - Canberra Primary School
43. High school/college - Ngee Ann Polytechnic I guess.
44. Eye color - Black
46. Height - 160cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone - Yes.
48. What do you like about yourself - My eyes and eyelashes.
49. Piercings - I have a piercing voice does that count? LOL.
50. Tattoos - None.
51. Righty or lefty - Righty!

FIRSTS: 
53. First piercing - Nil
54. First best friend - WHO SIA.. HMMMM. I guess that would be Amirul in Sec School!
55. First hookup - An online stranger.
56. First heartbreak - 9 months ago, by thee who shall not be named.

RIGHT NOW: 
59. Eating - Nope
60. Drinking - Nope
61. I’m about to - sleep
62. Listening to - music
63. Waiting for - A text message that probably won't come.

YOUR FUTURE: 
64. Want kids? - Yes. 3 kids pls.
65. Get married? - Yes :)
66. Career - Recording Artist/Flight Steward/Nurse/Police-Detective

WHICH IS BETTER: 
67. Lips or eyes - Eyes
68. Hugs or kisses - Hugs
69. Shorter or taller  - Same height pls.
70. Older or Younger - Same age can?
71. Romantic or spontaneous - Spontaneous
72. Nice stomach or nice arms - nice stomach. Aiya both also can laa HAHA.
73. Sensitive or loud - Sensitive. I can't stand loud people, sorry.
74. Hook-up or relationship - Relationships of course.

HAVE YOU EVER: 
76. Kissed a stranger - Yes
77. Drank hard liquor - No.
78. Lost glasses/contacts - Nope.
79. Had sex - Why u keep asking me this hais.
80. Broken someone’s heart - Yes..
82. Been arrested - No
83. Turned someone down - Countless times.
84. Cried when someone died - Yeah.
85. Fallen for a friend - Yeap.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 
86. Yourself - Sometimes. I guess it's something I need to do more. If I don't, who will?
87. Miracles - Yes
88. Love at first sight - Yep. That was in.. Sec 2 hahaha.
89. Heaven - Yes!
90. Santa Clause - No cause I never get any presents. :( Or maybe I've been too naughty..
91. Kiss on the first date - Not necessary.
92. Angels - Yes :)
93. How would you label yourself? - Introvert, Sentimental, Dreamer
94. Someone You Pray Everyday For - My parents and grandmother.
95. Did you sing today - Hahaha yeah ;)
96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About - Never been in an official relationship.. but the last one was pretty special to me. 
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go? - Back to 2011
98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For - No poverty in the world.
99. Are you afraid of falling in love? - No, not anymore. Just more cautious.
100. Do you like the way you look? - I have my flaws, but I do love myself. :)

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Hahaha been years since I've done this! Umm due to some unexpected events (last night) some facts above that were written a few days ago are subjected to change. Ahem.

So yeah, my week has been.. interesting. Completed my last exams of the sem (And my poly life). WOOHOO. Been recording music, meeting new people, and just being me & enjoying life. =) Heh..

Well okay. I'm gonna be a bit personal. People come and go in my life. I'm used to it. You came at a really hard period in my life. But you left.. and then you came back. And I was really surprised. Because there wasn't anyone like you. I know how you are now. Your character, your weird personality. I understand. But I've tolerated long enough. I really really wanted to see you again. Hang out, have fun. Like we used to. But you don't even seem interested anymore. I really don't know how to speak to you now. There's only so much I can take. There's only so long I can wait. And it's making me feel like I deserve so much better. And that's sad considering how I feel about you. Please don't get me wrong. I'm probably overreacting. You know how an emotional wreck I can be. My feelings have never changed. But one day they will. The question is, are you gonna let that happen?

I feel like.. I'm a complete different person this year. Maybe it's still too early to say but, yeah. I feel kinda more edgier & bold now. Rough around the edges.. but if you treat me right, I'll give you the best of me.

Well.. gonna savour my last remaining day before work starts. Probably have *no plans* tomorrow. Lol. Ciao!

Love, Eran.

There's only so much I patience I can have waiting on you.. Chances I'm giving are running low. I know what I want. Do you?

This song's for you.

Current Song Mood: Tori Kelly - Personal (Live)

What am I gunna do with this heart?
Catching all these bad arrows and darts.
I don't wanna be lonely, but I know what I want.

Maybe this train has run out of steam,
Cuz there's nothing but nothing between you and me.
I don't wanna see you lonely, but I know what I want.
And it ain't you no more.

Spend my whole life looking for the one I could call,
Wasted all my time on you, trying to make this beautiful.
But it's clear to see, you don't love me at all.
Baby, go ahead and say it. I won't take it personal.

 If you don't stop to count your blessings.
One day you'll wake up and find them missing.
I don't wanna leave you lonely,
But you gotta know what you want.

If you want a love that's only pretend,
Baby you should've bought a Barbie and Ken.
Well my heart's not a toy to play with, now it knows what it wants.
And it ain't you no more.

Spend my whole life looking for the one I could call,
Wasted all my time on you, trying to make this beautiful.
But it's clear to see, you don't love me at all.
Baby, go ahead and say it. I won't take it personal.

But then again maybe I will, but we do it all for the thrill.
Does part of you love me still?
No scratch that, say goodbye seal the deal.
Real is what you want now don't ya?
But I'm not the one now for ya
This was already over before it began so walk away

I spend my whole life looking for the one I could call,
Wasted all my time on you, trying to make this beautiful.
But it's clear to see, you don't love me at all.
Baby, go ahead and say it. I won't take it personal.

Wasted all my time on you, trying to make this beautiful.
But it's clear to see, you don't love me at all.
Baby, go ahead and say it. I won't take it personal.

I don't want to be lonely, I know what I want.