White Candle

Page 111

Right now I'm staring at this old picture of me. And reminiscing about.. the person I was then. And comparing the person I am now. Haha.. wow.. I was a naive lil' guy back then. I had so much dreams. I would study well for my O Levels, get into the course that I wanted (Music & Audio Tech, in SP) and follow my dreams to become a recording artist. Just like my idol, Joanna Levesque.

When I got my O Level Results, I made it. I qualified to get into my dream course. I broke the news to my parents. And they put me down immediately. Apparently my choice had 'no future'. My bro advised me to speak to a graduate from there. And I did. And this is what he said.

What your parents say is absolutely true. The hard truth is that in a batch of 60 students. Only about 2-5 students can make it and have a future in the industry.Song writing is a very sticky side of the music industry. It is true that songwriters make lots of money by collecting royalties. But how many hit songs can you write with raw talent? Most songs that are written nowadays are just based off old stuff. What can be written has already been written in present day. Very difficult.Having a good music background prior to your entry to the course is extremely important. If you come to the course, you will meet people who have played piano for 15 years. Raw guitar talents. Very competitive. If you pick it up too slowly, I'm afraid you would not learn much in the course.Lastly, it is true that you can be a recording artist. But what type? Guitarist? Singer? Anything is possible but the possibility of success is very very low.Syaheeran, I don't mean to put you down with all these negative details but they are the hard truth. Even as i am in the United States now, starting school at the prestigious Berklee College of Music under scholarship, my future is still uncertain.Let me know if you have other questions!

That's when I knew.. I couldn't make it. I had no musical background, no knowledge at all. Not putting myself down, cause.. I know myself best. That's when I decided, I had to give up on my dreams. Those dreams I had envisioned when I was studying my ass off for O Levels. It was so difficult… But I had to do it. So I took the safest route. The other courses didn't enthral me at all. But Nursing did. 3 years later and I'm here, having my last week of holidays and waiting for my last semester to start. No regrets at all. And over the past year.. I've gotten the privilege to get serious into recording. In my own way. In a sense, I did achieve what I wanted. And I hope that it would expand. :)

Cute right? Haha. My trademark hairstyle back in 2011.

That's all I wanted to share. Sometimes.. things don't go the way you plan it to. But it somehow leads to greater things.

Love, Eran. 

Don't let our love die, please. Can we fix it?

Current Song Mood: Tamar Braxton - White Candle

Love don't never mean well when you're living it alone

And everybody knows a broken heart's gotta mend on its own

In life, I know anything worth having ain't easy

But that don't mean that we should make things more difficult

I can feel the distance between us

Stand inside the sun never felt so far apart

And you ain't making it better

When it's gone, it's gone forever

I was running out of love

White candle

White candle

White candle

Don't let our love die

Cause I don't wanna watch us burn out

Don't wanna add fuel to the flame

Is this how love turns out

Don't let our love die

White candle

White candle

White candle

Don't let our love melt away

Ain't gonna point fingers, cause I know it takes two

And ain't no sense in fighting cause we got nothing to prove

If it's worth it to break it, didn't mean a thing at all

Is it too late, can we make it. Light a fire with our hearts and let it burn

Cause I can feel the distance between us

Stay inside the side or else fall apart

Baby and you know we ain't making it better

When it's gone, it's gone forever

I was running out of love

White candle

White candle

White candle

Don't let our love die

Cause I don't wanna watch us burn out

Don't wanna add fuel to the flame

Is this how love turns out

Don't let our love die

White candle

White candle

White candle

Don't let our love melt away

Away, that's the story of our love oh yeah

Just a broken heart, trying to make it back again

Can we fix it baby

Can we fix it babe

White candle

White candle

White candle

Don't let us die

Cause I don't wanna watch us burn out

Don't wanna add fuel to the flame

Is this how love turns out

Don't let our love die

White candle

White candle

White candle

Don't let our love melt away

White candle for our love

The Worst

Page 110

You're the worst, you know what you've done to me.

And a complete asshole.

It's time to try to turn my life back around. 1 week of holidays left. Precious time.

Gonna enjoy while it lasts. With or without you.

After what's happened before.. I have to.

Love, Eran

Nothing was ever the same.

Current Song Mood: Jhene Aiko - The Worst

Tell me whatcha say now?

Tell me whatcha say

Come again?

If you cannot stay down

Then you do not have to pretend

Like there is no way out

I shoulda never let you in

'Cause you got me face down

And don't take this personal

But you're the worst

You know what you've done to me

And although it hurts I know

I just can't keep runnin' away

I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you

But I want you

I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to

But I love you

Tell me whatcha say now

Tell me whatcha say?

You said that you would come again

You said that we would remain friends but

You know that I do not depend on

Nothing or no one

So why would you show up

So uninvited then

Just change my mind like that

Please don't take this personal

But you ain't shit

And you weren't special

Til I made you so

You better act like you know

That I been through worse than you

I just can't keep runnin' away

I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you

But I want you (But I want you)

I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to

But I love you

Everybody's like

He's no item

Please don't like em

He don't wife em

He one nights em

I never listen, no

I shoulda figured tho

All that shit you was spittin'

So unoriginal

But it was you

So I was with it

And tell you the truth

Wish we never did it

'Cause I usually do

Stick to the business

But you came out the blue

And then you just flipped it

God damn baby

My mind's blown

I be forgettin'

You live in a different time zone

I think I know what this is

It's just the time's wrong

Yeah, I know what you did

But baby I'm grown

And my love is patient

And kind, and shit

If this is real we can build

And do different types of shit

If you was really the realest

Wouldn't be fightin' it

I think your pride is just

In the way

Funny how everything changed

Once you got all that you wanted

Nothing was ever the same

I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you

I still want you

I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to

But I, but I love you

I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you, I don't need you

But I want you

I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to, I don't mean to

But I love you

Fatal Distraction

Page 109

Love can be fatal.

It either makes you, or breaks you.

Blocking, ignoring and deleting some people/apps from my life. Because.. well. I want people to love me for who I am, not for what I am. And I can't risk.. the danger.

Sometimes I just feel like breaking down. All these.. frustrations. Who can I turn to? At the moment, nobody. Because the ones I care about, they've just.. stopped.

I only have these songs that express me. 

This is for you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Mario - Fatal Distraction

[Verse 1]

Tossing and turning, I cant better be alone, this bed, this sheet

They're incomplete

Wish I could say that what Im feeling here is wrong, but its the truth, Im stuck on you

[Pre-Hook]

Ive been wondering, if you think of me or the ways I think of you

If the shoe was on the other foot, would it be a pair or two

Ive been wondering if Id played my cards, would they just fold?

If you take the chance and show your hand, we gotta play no more

[Hook]

Im telling you how bad I want you

Im telling you the bad I wont do

Its bad that I cant have you

Like I want to

Im telling you how bad I want you

Im tryna get you where I want to

Its bad that I cant have you

Like I want to

Its gonna cause, a fatal distraction

Its gonna cause, a fatal distraction

[Verse 2]

Visions of making love to you all in my head

Dont wanna wait, cant concentrate

All I can think of is hearing you scream my name

Its gonna be, outer-body

[Pre-Hook]

Ive been wondering, if you think of me or the ways I think of you

If the shoe was on the other foot, would it be a pair or two?

Ive been wondering if Id played my cards, would they just fold?

If you take the chance and show your hand, we gotta play no more

[Hook]

Im telling you how bad I want you

Im telling you the bad I wont do

Its bad that I dont have you

Like I want to

Im telling you how bad I want you

Im tryna get you where I want to

Its bad that I cant have you

Like I want to

Its gonna cause, a fatal distraction

Its gonna cause, a fatal distraction

I Miss You Missing Me

Page 108

I've been keeping quiet about it for a long time. Trying to forget.. Trying to make myself occupied.. Make my self happy. 

Maybe its my fault. Maybe I didnt try hard enough. Or maybe.. you gave up on me. 

There's a lot of uncertainty right now. Maybe it's just not meant to be.

I miss you and I don't even know if you feel the same. 

Love, Eran.

I miss you missing me..

Current Song Mood: Leona Lewis - I Miss You Missing Me

Someone told me you found somebody
found somebody new
I'm happy for you
maybe that's why I don't hear from you
like I used to like a faded photograph
our moment's in the past
but sometimes, sometimes
I miss you missing me
calling me on the phone
asking me how I'm doing
asking if I'm alone
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me

Guess you won't be asking 'bout me
when you see my friends
guess that had to end
I won't be hearing
what you've been up to
like I used to had our time
our time has passed
no there's no going back
but sometimes, sometimes
I miss you missing me
calling me on the phone
asking me how I'm doing
asking if I'm alone
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
when someone calls me up at night
I hold my breath I close my eyes
I wait and hope and pray it will be you
calling me on the phone
asking me how I'm doing
asking if I'm alone
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me
I miss you missing me

Rock Bottom

Page 107

There is a certain comfort in sadness and loneliness.

Just a thought. Maybe I'm meant to be alone. All by myself. That's where I find the most comfort. Just being on my own..

:)

Love, Eran

Maybe I've hit rock bottom.

Current Song Mood: Adriana - Rock Bottom

There I go again

(Go Go)

Missin, (oh.)

Reality is not my friend

I'm wishing

I would of had a little more time

away from time

I wish I had a little more time 

To run and hide

Swim through the deepest waters of your ocean

Drown in the mix of dark and clear liquor

that you're pouring for me

Remember all the vibrations of the music in the background?

Before the dark pain that you felt from hitting rock bottom

There I go again x4

See, feelings aren't for me

They drown me in my sleep

Cause the only real love that I have is in my dreams

They're all make believe

I would of had a little more time

away from time

I wish I had a little more time 

To run and hide

Swim through the deepest waters of your ocean

Drown in the mix of dark and clear liquor

that you're pouring for me

Remember all the vibrations of the music in the background?

Before the dark pain that you felt from hitting rock bottom

Rocket

Page 106

WhAt a LaZy DaY.

Srsly. ._.

Woke up at 11.30AM and totally just rolled about in bed haha. And the weather was pretty awesome with the rain drizzling. Went out for a walk and just.. absorbed the cool atmosphere.

I've been more in touch with my sexual side lately. My mind is sooo dirty now ._. Sometimes I really wonder what happened to my innocence. HAHA. Guess it's normal for my hormones to rage. Testosterone overload? LOL.

Must control must maintain. ._. I'll just let nature take its course.

Ps. Thanks to Lily for getting me hooked to this song again. Hehe. Also, because of her, now I keep hearing the beginning as 'primapore' -.- HAHAHA.

Love, Eran.

Rocket till waterfalls…

Current Song Mood: Travis Garland - Rocket (Beyonce Cover)

Won't you sit this ass on me
Show you how you feel
Won't you take that off
While i watch ya
That's mass appeal
I won't take my eyes
I won't take my eyes off it
Watch it, baby
No you like wanna touch it, baby
Do I, do I wanna touch it, baby?

So grab ahold,
Don't let go
Let me know
That you ready
I wanna show you now
Slow it down
Go around
You rock hard
I rock steady

And walk right up to the side of your mountain
Climb until I reach your peak, babe, the peak, babe, the peak
And reach right into the bottom of your fountain
I wanna play in your deep, babe, the deep, babe, the deep
Then dip you under until can feel your river flow and flow
Hold you 'til you scream for air to breathe
Don't wash me over until your well runs dry
Send all your sins all over me, babe, me, babe, me

Rocket 'til waterfalls
Rocket 'til waterfalls
Rocket 'til waterfalls
Rocket 'til waterfalls

I said hey little mama
Ain’t gotta ask me if I want to
Just come on, let me get a light?
Roll you up and let it run through my veins

'Cause I can always see the farthest stars
When I’m on you
And I don’t wanna ever come down
Off this cloud of lovin’ you

And now you got me hopped upon that pusher love
Be my drug
So gon' and be my dealer baby
Hook me up
'Cause all I want, all I want is you baby

One more time

Pusher love
Be my drug
So gon' and be my dealer baby
Hook me up
'Cause all I want is you

All About That Bass

Page 105

Day 3! Woke up at about 8+. Ida was knocking the door so loud lol ._. Rolled about in bed till 9, bathed, packed up, and had breakfast. Turns out everyone's ez-link cards were with Lily, so she had to meet us later. We checked out, and went to have breakfast at this Chinese restaurant.

To kill time, we decided to play cards. The Babi game. Hahaha. Just as I was about to shout 'Babi' and stand up, a rude Chinese worker came up to us, and told us no card games were allowed, and that he'd refuse to serve us if we continued. And he sarcastically, told us to continue, then went to attend to the ITE nurses behind us. Haha. Man.. we were one bitchy clique. One by one took our bags and left. And some of us said really mean things out loud that I won't mention, but it was true. Where was the courtesy? He could have told us off nicely, but he was so rude. And that cost him potential customers. Oh well, we went to dine somewhere else, and by the time we reached, I really didn't have any appetite. ._.

Went to this swing-bench area with Ida and Yx and just chilled till Lily came. Haha, showed her the funny video last night. We then took the bus home, and went off our separate ways. Took the train home with Lily. :)

Hahaha I had to, it was sooo empty!

Went home and caught up with The Walking Dead premiere!! OMG. SO EXCITING.

Oh well back to my boring life. 3 days went by SOOO fast. Till next time, Love you Spermies. <3

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Meghan Trainor - All About That Bass

Because you know I'm all about that bass,

'Bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass

Yeah it's pretty clear, I ain't no size two

But I can shake it, shake it like I'm supposed to do

'Cause I got that boom boom that all the boys chase

All the right junk in all the right places

I see the magazines working that Photoshop

We know that shit ain't real

Come on now, make it stop

If you got beauty beauty just raise 'em up

'Cause every inch of you is perfect

From the bottom to the top

Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size

She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night

You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,

So, if that's what's you're into

Then go ahead and move along

Because you know I'm all about that bass,

'Bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass

I'm bringing booty back

Go ahead and tell them skinny bitches Hey

No, I'm just playing I know you think you're fat,

But I'm here to tell you that,

Every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top

Yeah, my momma she told me don't worry about your size

She says, boys they like a little more booty to hold at night

You know I won't be no stick-figure, silicone Barbie doll,

So, if that's what's you're into

Then go ahead and move along

Because you know I'm all about that bass,

'Bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass

Because you know I'm all about that bass,

'Bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass

Because you know I'm all about that bass,

'Bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass, no treble

I'm all 'bout that bass, 'bout that bass