Better

Page 422

Met up YX today hehehe. Caught up a lot since we last met. How things have changed. Going through similar dramatic situations.

Can't wait for this phase to be over soon.

I've done a lot of self-realisation the past few days.

I guess the warm water has turned frozen cold.

I know you've been suffering out there since then.

I know you're withering away.

Wasting your life, with no sense of direction.

But honestly... you deserve it.

I can love you better than he can.

In fact, I dont even anymore.

I'm better off without you.

Love, Eran.

I can see you dying.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Better

Hey-ey, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah 

Hey-ey, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah 

Hey-ey, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah 

Hey-ey, yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah

Why are you so afraid?

I can see you hating, hating, hating

Withering away

I can see you dying, dying, dying

Dead, dying, dead

Why? Why?

Baby see

Trying, trying

I can love you better than she

I can love you better than she can

How couldn't you see?

All the water's cold, cold, cold, cold, cold

Why you lie to me?

You hide in a hole, hole, hole, hole, hole

And why don't you see?

Yeah, baby try

Try to see

Yeah, try, yeah

I can love you better than she

I can love you better than she can

Can-can-can-can-can-can

Can-can-can-can-can-can

I can love you better than she can

I can love you better than she can

Cologne

Page 421 

Glad I was able to see you tonight.

Felt so disconnected without you around.

The warm cuddles and kisses were missed.

But something seemed.. different today.

My feelings.

Maybe it's because of what I've read today. It's affecting me unknowingly. I shouldn't have..

Maybe it's the idea of me actually moving on.

Maybe it's the things that happened after.

Maybe it's just me.

Well, you're everywhere now.

I'll wear nothing.. but your cologne.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Selena Gomez - Cologne

There's a reason you're everywhere
Breathe you in like you're in the air
Maybe you should call off the day
Give your girl some time to play
In my room, from the ceiling to the floor
My body knows that you've been here before

Every second here without you, I pretend we're skin to skin
Every single breath reminds me that you never, ever left
Every time I think about you, I can feel my hand give in
Cause you're keeping me safe and warm
Even when I'm home alone
Wearing nothing but your cologne

Maybe you should call off the day
Give your girl some time to play
Running my mind cause my heart lost all control
Only one thing that can give me that multiple

Every second here without you, I pretend we're skin to skin
Every single breath reminds me that you never, ever left
Every time I think about you, I can feel my hand give in
Cause you're keeping me safe and warm
Even when I'm home alone
Wearing nothing but your cologne
Wearing nothing but your cologne
Wearing nothing but your cologne, cologne
Wearing nothing but your cologne

All the way down
Feels like you're around
Forever in the moment
I love it, and you know it
All the way down
Feels like you're around
Forever in the moment
I love it, and you know it

Every second here without you, I pretend we're skin to skin
Every single breath reminds me that you never, ever left
Every time I think about you, I can feel my hand give in
Cause you're keeping me safe and warm
Even when I'm home alone
Wearing nothing but your cologne
Wearing nothing but your cologne
Wearing nothing but your cologne, cologne
Wearing nothing but your cologne
Wearing nothing but your cologne

Lionheart

Page 420

I laid in the shellscrape. It accommodated my size perfectly.

'Heh. I'm glad that I'm short for once.' I said to myself.

There was silence all around except for the sound of crickets. I gazed at the night sky above me. I was surrounded by the tall forest. Surrounded by mud & dirt. Surrounded by people who were going through the exact same situation as I was, and many batches before me. I wasnt alone.

The stars.. they were so pretty. Flashbacks played in my head. I remembered wishing I could go stargazing with...

With my ex. We never did. But I guess it was good enough on my own. This was a new beginning. A memorable one.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

This past week was probably the most toughest I've faced yet.

But we did it. We've made it out alive. All the bruises, sweat & tears were worth it in the end.

We're different now. I feel different.

From boys to men.
We're lionhearts.

Appreciating the luxury of being clean & safe. Have always taken it for granted.

Now, we've earned it.
I'll always keep this experience close to my heart.

Here's to the remaining weeks ahead.

Hoowah.

Love, Eran.

Let's face it together.

Current Song Mood: Demi Lovato - Lionheart

Your light is inside of me
Like a raging roar
Like an ocean born
You're in my veins
Your voice is serenity
When the Sun goes down
And the strength I've found
Is in my veins

Our story binds us
Like right and wrong
Your hand in mine
Marching to the beat of the storm

And we walk together into the light
And my love will be your armor tonight
We are lionhearts
And we stand together facing a war
And our love is gonna conquer it all
We are lionhearts

You're here like a silhouette
When the darkness rules
You're the brightest moon
And I am safe

The story binds us
Like right and wrong
Your hand in mine
Marching to the beat of the storm

And we walk together into the light
And my love will be your armor tonight
We are lionhearts
And we stand together facing a war
And our love is gonna conquer it all
We are lionhearts

You're never far from where I am
Like a lighthouse, bring me home
You're never far from me
Let your spirit glow

And we walk together into the light
And my love will be your armor tonight
We are lionhearts
And we stand together facing a war
And our love is gonna conquer it all
We are lionhearts
And we walk together into the light
And my love will be your armor tonight
We are lionhearts

For Love

Page 419

It's time.

 Kinda feeling down about it.

Gonna be away for a week..

Into the wild. Surrounded by nature. Surrounded by dirt.

I can picture it.

Being cold. Dirty. Tired. Wet in the pouring rain, like it is right now. Longing for home. It's gonna be really tough.. I know it. Wont deny it, i'm really nervous right now. I don't know what to expect. But I'm gonna try my best. And when we get out of it.. it'll be the best feeling ever.

Please pray for my safety, and the safety of those around me.

See you guys in a week's time.

Let's get through this shit together.

For love, we shall.

Love, Eran.

Please let everything be smooth.

Current Song Mood: The Sam Willows - For Love

Too many people on board this train

I gotta find my way around

Too many voices in my head

Gotta reach high turn it down

Too many tear drops on the floor, anymore

Gonna kiss the ground, right before I drown

Are you even gonna try to reach me

Too many words stuck in this phone

But your voice ain’t even there

Too many nights spent home alone

With your laughter in the air

Too many songs of the broken heart

Try to shut you out, but you’re everywhere

Are you even gonna try to reach me

Is this how it’s gonna end

Oh~

For love I’mma give it all

For love I’mma give it all

For love~

For love I’mma give it all

For love I’mma give it all

You and I let’s do it all

For Love

Too many paper-shaped stars

Falling out of broken jars

Too many unforsaken scars

If it hurts bleed it out on this guitar

You build your glasshouse round your heart, like a w

ork of art

Break it and we’ll never be apart

Are you even gonna try to reach me

Is this how it’s gonna end

Oh~

For love I’mma give it all

For love I’mma give it all

For love~

For love I’mma give it all

For love I’mma give it all

You and I let’s do it all

For Love

Give it all, give it all

Give it all for love, for love

Give it all, give it all

Give it all for love, for love

For love, for love , for love

For love, for love, for love

Oh~

For love I’mma give it all

For love I’mma give it all

For love~

For love I’mma give it all

For love I’mma give it all

You and I let’s do it all

For Love

Say Love

Page 418

What a weird wonderful day.

I guess I spent it in the best way possible.

I'm happy to have met you.

I just.. don't want the past to repeat.

I want more than what this is.

I want to say/do the things I've never dared to.

I want you to prove it.

I want you to say what I wanna hear.

I want you to say love.

Love, Eran.

Thank you for today.

This is my favourite song from 'Tringle'.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Say Love

This is us at our best, and at our worst
And when we speak, does it feel unrehearsed?

Cause where I wanna be is far apart
From where we are, from where we are
And I thought I found the place where we could start
Talk from the heart, talk from the heart

But you just say I'm perfect
Say I'm pretty
Say I'm worth it
But if you really care for me

Say love
I want you to say love
I want you to say love
When I say "love you"
You just say "me too"
But I want you to say love

It feels like we can't get out of first
When we do it's like we're stuck in reverse, oh

Cause where I wanna be is far apart
From where we are, from where we are
And I thought I found the place where we could start
Talk from the heart, talk from the heart

But you just say I'm perfect
Say I'm pretty
Say I'm worth it
But if you really care for me

Say love
I want you to say love
I want you to say love
When I say "love you"
You just say "me too"
But I want you to say love

But you just say I'm perfect
Say I'm pretty
Say I'm worth it
But if you really care for me

Say love
I want you to say love
I want you to say love
When I say "love you"
You just say "me too"
But I want you to say love

Old Ways

Page 417

Finally back home.

I don't know why, but I felt so tensed today.

Maybe because I know of what's to come.

My feelings are always right.

Keeping frustrations to myself wasn't helpful at all.

But this activity called 'Combat Training' totally helped me out.

Punching the air, covered in sweat, and venting every bit of emotion out of my small body..

It was very therapeutic for me. All those hidden anger from the last 3 months..

It's no wonder some of my commanders were surprised that I was so into it.

'Woah you can join the instructors in front man.'

'Eh you so fierce sia. You got fighting experience before issit? Good job.'

I looked at myself in the mirror after.

And then I realised the change in me.

I'm not the person I used to be.

I'm not in the same place that I was before.

I'm not going back to my old ways.

Love, Eran.

I'm not afraid to fall.

I'm not afraid anymore.

Current Song Mood: Demi Lovato - Old Ways

It was fun playin' with knives
Until a blade
Stuck in the left side of my chest
Surprise
And I'm down again, I turn the page
The story's mine
No more watchin' the world from my doorstep
Passin' me by

And I just keep changin'
These colors, colors, colors, colors
I'm not in the same place
That I was, I was, I was, I was

But if somebody tells me
I'll go back to my old ways
I'm gonna say no way
I'm out of the doorway
I'm hearin' them all say
I'll go back to my old ways
Not goin' back to my old ways

Not goin' back to my old ways
(Not goin' back to my old ways)

Now I know what's good for me
All that I need
And I can't wait to sink my teeth in
And take another bite
And the best part about it
Is I'm the only who can do somethin' about it
I fill the well with some water, it's overflowin'
Black into gold
Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfolds

And I just keep changin'
These colors, colors, colors, colors
I'm not in the same place
That I was, I was, I was, I was

But if somebody tells me
I'll go back to my old ways
I'm gonna say no way
I'm out of the doorway
I'm hearin' them all say
I'll go back to my old ways
Not goin' back to my old ways

Not goin' back to my old ways
(Not goin' back to my old ways)

Every scar
The flames burn the mark
I'm not afraid to fall
I'm spiraling
I'm spiraling
I pass the stars
I'm not burning out
I'm not afraid to fall
I'm not afraid anymore

And I just keep changin' my colors
These colors, colors, colors, colors
I'm not in the same place that I was, I was

And the best part about it
Is I'm the only who can do somethin' about it
I fill the well with some water, it's overflowin'
Black into gold
Who knew it'd be so bright without the blindfolds

And I just keep changin'
These colors, colors, colors, colors
I'm not in the same place
That I was, I was, I was, I was

But if somebody tells me
I'll go back to my old ways
I'm gonna say no way
I'm out of the doorway
I'm hearin' them all say
I'll go back to my old ways
Not goin' back to my old ways

For You

Page 416

Meh. So sore from today.

This week is passing faster than expected. 

I've had days where I suddenly feel down.

And days where I'm up on my feet & ready to roll.

I believe how you go through your day depends on how positive you start it.

It's hard to maintain but try your best.

Pain is temporary.

I'll pull through the remaining week.

I'll do it well.

I'll do it for you.

Love, Eran.

Even if I dont get anything in the end..

Like I always do.

Current Song Mood: Demi Lovato - For You

Reasons why you run don't make you a good man
Yes I understand
You were on time at the wrong time
I was debating but tried, and I don't know why
You can act cold on a dime and so out of line

For you
I’d do anything for you
Nail my heart to the ceiling
I'd put my fist through a wall
How come (how come)
I stick around when I break down (break down, break down)
I take the blows like a champion (champion, champion)
But I get nothing at all

Reasons for my hope, all make me a big joke
I already know
You were just fine, I was just fine
Why did we turn a good time to a dark one?
I'd give you a chance but the better man never called

For you (for you)
I’d do anything for you (for you, for you)
Nail my heart to the ceiling (ceiling, ceiling)
I'd put my fist through a wall
How come (how come)
I stick around when I break down (break down, break down)
I take the blows like a champion (champion, champion)
But I get nothing at all
But I get nothing at all
But I get nothing at all

For you, I'd do
Anything for you, I would do
Anything for you, I would do
(Put my fist through a wall)
Anything for you, I would do

For you (for you)
I’d do anything for you (for you, for you)
Nail my heart to the ceiling (ceiling, ceiling)
I'd put my fist through a wall
How come (how come)
I stick around when I break down (break down, break down)
I take the blows like a champion (champion, champion)
But I get nothing at all
But I get nothing
But I get nothing at all
I get nothing at all

For you, I'd do
Anything for you, I would do
Anything for you, I would do
Anything for you, I would do
Anything