Blue Moon

Page 606

Decisions, decisions.

I don't know what to do.

How will the story unfold?

Where do you want me to go?

All roads lead me here.

I need to read the signs.

This time last year, I was going through a similar uncertain phase.

The future, is so uncertain.

I can only be patient and wait.

I know you're out there.

Everytime I look up at the night sky.

My blue moon.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Troye Sivan - Blue Moon

In my free, in my wild.
In my dark, oh we started.
Started to doubt, doubt this fire.
Lighting up our lives, and it kept me up at night.
Crash and burn is all I know,
I think that's why I made you go.
Those three words, you were my first,
I can't help thinking...

Maybe you were my blue moon,
maybe I let go too soon.
Running from what could be,
so terrified of happy,
how did I come to lose...
My blue moon
My blue moon

Which one of us, went and fucked up?
You and me... I guess it was me.
Don't know a good thing when
it's right in front of me cause I'm so numb.
What have I become?
Oh, cause crash and burn is all I know.
I think that's why I made you go.
Those three words, you were my first,
I can't help thinking...

Maybe you were my blue moon,
maybe I let go too soon.
Running from what could be,
so terrified of happy,
how did I come to lose...
My blue moon
My blue moon

Crash and burn is all I know,
I think that's why I made you go.
Those three words, you were my first,
I can't help thinking...

Maybe you were my blue moon,
maybe I let go too soon.
Running from what could be,
so terrified of happy,
how did I come to lose my blue...

Maybe you were my blue moon,
maybe I let go too soon.
Running from what could be, 
so terrified of happy,
how did I come to lose,
My blue moon

Never Be Like You

Page 605

Feeling good about my self lately.

Yeah.. I feel like myself again.

Stronger.

Empowered.

Last week I met someone.

Who suffered the same fate that I did.

He asked me.

'You never got a closure, did you?'

I paused. Thinking.

'Yeah. I didnt.'

And I don't think I need to.

Especially from a person like that.

I'm happier with my life right now.

Building myself up.

No more messy drama.

I'll admit, the pain is still there.

But hey, it's gotten numb over time.

As long as I'm content with who I am,

Focusing on being a better person,

That's all that matters.

One thing's for sure,

I'll never be like you.

Love, Eran.

I got it now.

Current Song Mood: Flume Ft Kai - Never Be Like You

What I would do to take away this fear of being loved
Allegiance to the pain
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
He'll never be like you
I would give anything to change this fickle-minded heart
That loves fake shiny things
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
He'll never be like you

I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
Cause I got it (ooh)
He'll never be like you

I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
Cause I got it (ooh)
He'll never be like you

How do I make you wanna stay?
Hate sleeping on my own, missing the way you taste
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
He'll never be like you
Stop looking at me with those eyes
Like I could disappear and you wouldn't care why
Now I'm fucked up and I'm missing you
He'll never be like you

I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
Cause I got it (ooh)
He'll never be like you

I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
Cause I got it (ooh)
He'll never be like you

I'm falling on my knees
Forgive me, I'm a fucking fool
I'm begging, darling, please
Absolve me of my sins, won't you?

I'm falling on my knees
Forgive me, I'm a fucking fool
I'm begging, darling, please
Absolve me of my sins, won't you?

I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
Cause I got it (ooh)
He'll never be like you

I'm only human can't you see
I made, I made a mistake
Please just look me in my face
Tell me everything's okay
Cause I got it (ooh)
He'll never be like you

Baby, baby please believe me
C'mon take it easy
Please don't ever leave me
He'll never be like you

The Great Divide

Page 604

Feeling a little drained today.

Maybe cause it's Monday.

Maybe cause it was a busy day.

Maybe because I fed off other's negativity.

Some people can be such dickheads.

Gah.

Stay far away from me.

Cause the only thing I wanna feel right now is love & positivity.

Nothing but that.

I may be nice to everyone. But.

There's a line that can't be crossed.

And that's the great divide.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Rebecca Black - The Great Divide

You go where the wind blows
Destroying everyone on your path
I'm done feeding your ego
Forgetting everything that we had

Funny how history ends in an instant
How something so close can end up so distant

Dancing on the line
Of the great divide
Wash my hands, turn my back
I don't need the memories we had
I'm leaving you behind
Across the great divide

Good luck when you wake up
And realize all that you've lost
Shining lies are what you made of
I hope it worths the price that it costs

Funny how history ends in an instant
How something so close can end up so distant

Dancing on the line
Of the great divide
Wash my hands, turn my back
I don't need the memories we had
I'm leaving you behind
Across the great divide

I let you go, so let me go
Let us go
I let you, I let you
I let you go, oh

Dancing on the line
Of the great divide
Wash my hands, turn my back
I don't need the memories we had
I'm leaving you behind
Across the great divide
The great divide
Hey, yeah

In Here Somewhere

Page 603

I wanna dedicate a post.

To Mr Khairul Ikhwan.

A senior of mine who just passed away from Stage 4 Cancer.

He battled it for the longest time.

I knew him from secondary school.

He was well known. For his moves. His passion.

He broke out dancing - to a Lady Gaga song in the middle of the parade square, at one of our school events. I was in awe of his bravery and passion. He was so good that the teachers decided to get him on stage and performed for everyone. We cheered. We laughed. We were all happy.

We graduated but kept in touch through Facebook. I learned that he kept having a bad headache and a ringing sound in his head. He soon lost his hearing ability. Can you imagine losing that? I can't.. And still he fought through. He kept smiling. Continued his passion in arts. Kept spreading love.

He tweeted me last year. During one of my darkest periods. I guess he saw my depressed tweets. He showed his support and told me to keep following my dreams. And that I shall.

And now he's gone.

Your art will live on.

In here somewhere.

Al-Fateha.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Frank Ocean - In Here Somewhere

At Night (I Think About You)

Page 602

I strolled out of the gates.
Ears plugged.
The weather seemed to be in the same frequency as my feelings.
I don't know what's gonna happen.
Everything's so uncertain.
What if..
What if it really happens.
What am I gonna do with my life then?
Trust.
I gotta trust in His plans.

----------------------------------------------------------

Another weekend spent alone.

Im not sure if that's a bad thing.

Did some recording today after a while.

Boy, it felt therapeutic.

If only I have the time to do it everyday.

Cant help but think about you at night.

Gotta set everything straight.

Dwelling on my past won't change things.

Gotta focus on my present.

And be my personal best.

Love, Eran.

Still foolishly waiting.

Current Song Mood: MNEK - At Night (I Think About You)

In the morning I'm okay
Just fine in the afternoon
But at night I think about you
Like an echo in my brain
I wonder if you hear it too
Cause at night I think about you

And it's just madness
How love can lead you to sadness
I lay awake and imagine

At night I think about you
In a way I am not supposed to
Baby, sleeping without you just isn't right
Trust me, I've tried it a thousand times
At night I think about you
Do you still think of me too?
Cause I can't shake you off my mind
And I don't know what to do
At night I think about ya
Cause at night I think about you

Slowly when I close my eyes
Every time I go to bed
Your song still plays in my head
How foolish of me to fantasize
Bout everything we used to be
Letting go ain't that easy

It's just madness
You're here then you're gone
It's like magic
I lay awake and imagine
You think of me
The way I think of you, baby
Cause every night I'm going crazy

At night I think about you
In a way I am not supposed to
Baby, sleeping without you just isn't right
Trust me, I've tried a thousand times
At night I think about you
Do you still think of me too?
Cause I can't shake you off my mind
And I don't know what to do
Cause at night I think about ya

Ooh, time after time
Enduring watch you go, goodbye
Show up in my dreams at night
Cause, baby, in the dark you still shine
Sad but true
Nothing's the saddest getting over you
Eyes are wide open the whole night through

Cause at night I think about you
In a way I am not supposed to
Baby, sleeping without you just isn't right
Trust me, I've tried a thousand times
At night I think about you
Do you still think of me too?
Cause I can't shake you off my mind
And I don't know what to do
(Don't know what to do)
Cause at night I think about you

At night I think about you
You, yeah
I can't get no sleep at night
At night I think about ya

At Your Best (You Are Love)

Page 601

Had a lot of time to think.

To reflect.

On past events.

And just.. be grateful.

Eternally grateful for everything.

For being given a second chance.

To live.

I've come to realize.. from experience, that we can't be too happy.

So I'm just gonna let the feeling be short-lived.

It's good enough.

Just wanna say, to whoever that is reading this.

At your best.

At your worst.

You are loved.

Have faith.

Everything will be fine.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Frank Ocean - At Your Best (You Are Loved Cover)

When I feel what I feel
Sometimes it's hard to tell you so
You may not be in the mood to learn
What you think you know
There are times when I find
You wanna keep yourself from me
When I don't have the strength
I'm just a mirror of what I see

But at your best you are love
You're a positive motivating force within my life
If you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know
(Luhh) Let me know

When you feel what you feel
It's hard for me to understand
So many things have taken place before this love affair began
But if you feel more like I feel
Confusion can give way to doubt
For there are times when I fall short of what I say
What I say I'm all about

But at your best you are love
You're a positive motivating force within my life
Should you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know
(Luhh)

Tell me what it is
What it is, no need to make believe
Look beyond your world
Try to find, find a place for me

Cuz when you're at your best you are love
You're a positive motivating force within my life
Should you ever feel the need to wonder why
Let me know, let me know

Stay at your best, baby (oh oh oh)
Let me know, let me know

Too Much Love

Page 600

A miracle.

That's the only word that I could describe tonight.

I felt like I was gonna lose my mind.

So many thoughts.

So many overflowing negativity.

So many 'What ifs'.

I was prepared to lose it all.

I prayed hard.

And I got through it.

It was a defining moment for me.

A turning point.

And I feel like my life will never be the same again.

It might not be over yet.

But things are looking up for now.

I've felt too much love.

When I didn't feel like i'm worthy enough.

But God is fair.

So have faith in the path He leads you to.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Demi Lovato - Too Much Love

I never thought this heart of stone
Deserved a love like yours
I never thought I'd let anyone
Ever get this close, yeah
But since you came into my life
I'm not afraid anymore
And even though I've made mistakes
I'm the one you choose, yeah
And I need you

I need you to know, I could never feel too much love
I've waited so long for something that's real, something strong
And I wanna shout it loud, let the words fall out and leave nothing left unsaid
I need you to know, I could never feel too much love for you

You make me feel like a kid again, before I lost myself
But now I know I don't have to change for somebody else, yeah
You filled the hole in my empty heart with your faith in me
Yeah I can see us making memories for eternity, yeah
And I need you

I need you to know, I could never feel too much love
I've waited so long for something that's real, something strong
And I wanna shout it loud, let the words fall out and leave nothing left unsaid
I need you to know, I could never feel too much love for you

Too much love for you
Too much love for you
For you
I need you to know that you saved my life with your love, oh

And I wanna shout it loud, let the words fall out and leave nothing left unsaid
I need you to know, I could never feel too much love for you
Too much love for you
Too much love for you