I Got You

Page 787

Today I had an encounter that made me reflect about my life.

A patient like no other.

He sat down beside me and we chatted.

And it kinda felt.. therapeutic. I guess. For the both of us.

He had a lot to let out.

And I was touched that he trusted me with his personal stories.

We gave mutual advices.

For someone younger than I was... this dude has went through a lot of shit.

And I wish nothing but the best in his life.

May God eases all his burdens.

I got you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Bebe Rexha - I Got You

I can see you hurtin'
I've been through the same thing
Baby, don't you worry
I got you
I just wanna know you
Tell me all your secrets
Lookin' like you need it

'Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you
'Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you

We can get high, oh nah, nah, nah
We can get low, oh nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby, let me in
Tell you no lies, oh, nah, nah, nah
We can get lost oh, nah, nah, nah
Take it all off, oh, nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby, let me in
Give it to me all, oh, nah, nah, nah

Tell me what you're thinkin'
Always over thinkin'
I just wanna love you
I got you
Don't have to be so guarded
Let's finish what we started
It's all I ever wanted

'Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you

We can get high, oh nah, nah, nah
We can get low, oh nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby, let me in
Tell you no lies, oh, nah, nah, nah
We can get lost oh, nah, nah, nah
Take it all off, oh, nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby, let me in
Give it to me all, oh, nah, nah, nah

'Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you

I'd do the time for you
Tell a lie for you
Yeah, baby, that's what I'd do
I'd walk the line for you
Take a shot for you
Yeah, baby, that's what I'd do
'Cause I got you
It's true
I'd die for you
I'd die for you
I got you

We can get high, oh nah, nah, nah
We can get low, oh nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby, let me in
Tell you no lies, oh, nah, nah, nah
We can get lost oh, nah, nah, nah
Take it all off, oh, nah, nah, nah
Let me be your friend, baby, let me in
Give it to me all, oh, nah, nah, nah

'Cause I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you
I got you, you, oh, you
I got you, I got you
I got...

Sorry

Page 786

In the midst of the nudity and sweat, I was damn restless.

This wasnt what I wanted.

And I knew the minute I decided to go.

This..

This wasnt for me.

As a desperate hand tugged my arm.

Signalling me not to go.

I gazed at myself in the mirror.

I knew I couldnt stay.

And face this anymore.

I'm so sorry.

Sorry to all my unknown lovers.

Cause I'm not ready for anything...

Someone will love you.

But that someone isn't me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Halsey - Sorry

I've missed your calls for months it seems
Don't realize how mean I can be
'Cause I can sometimes treat the people
That I love like jewelry
'Cause I can change my mind each day
I didn't mean to try you on
But I still know your birthday
And your mother's favorite song

So I'm sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh

I run away when things are good
And never really understood
The way you laid your eyes on me
In ways that no one ever could
And so it seems I broke your heart
My ignorance has struck again
I failed to see it from the start
And tore you open 'til the end

And I'm sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind

And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn't me
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn't me

Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry that I can't believe that anybody ever really
Starts to fall in love with me
Sorry to my unknown lover
Sorry I could be so blind
Didn't mean to leave you
And all of the things that we had behind

And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn't me
And someone will love you
Someone will love you
Someone will love you
But someone isn't me

F. F. F.

Page 785

It really has been a week filled with emotional turmoil.

Never wanted that feeling to be triggered again.

That feeling that I'm.. a horrible person.

It's not the first time.

But I guess its inevitable.

Well, I'm gonna take a break from that toxic environment.

Even if it's just for a day.

Cause fuck fake friends.

Aint nobody got time for drama.

All I wanted in my 2 years was to blend in the background.

Let me do me, and you do you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Bebe Rexha Ft G-Eazy - F.F.F. (Fuck Fake Friends)

[G-Eazy:]
G, Bebe I got ya

[Bebe Rexha:]
Friends come and go, friends come and go
Go like the seasons
I never know, I never know what to believe in
And it's getting old, it's getting old
But no hard feelings
'Cause friends come and go, friends come and go without a reason
And I, I've been in L.A. for way too long
Can't get this air inside my lungs
It feels like I'm suffocatin' from all the lack of the realness here

Is there anybody real out here?
Got my middle, middle up while I'm singing

Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
Only thing they're good for is leaving
Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
I've had it up to the ceiling
Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
Only thing they're good for is leaving
And I ain't got the time, money on my mind
I'll say it to your face, fuck fake friends

[G-Eazy:]
And lately I've been dealin' with mad stress
Comes with the territory of a Hollywood address
Is anybody real here?
I need some fact checks
I need more realness, need you to act less
'Cause they deserve Oscars, so many imposters
What's up with guest lists?
Can I come to your concerts?
We all got demons, I'm dealin' with monsters
I've taken every picture, signed titties and signed shirts
But at the same time I know I'm blessed to be here
So let's just be clear, how many kids wish they had this spot
I got success, it's not a sandy beach chair
Be careful with the people you meet here, I'm sayin'
Uh, yeah

[Bebe Rexha (G-Eazy):]
Is there anybody real out here? (G)
Got my middle, middle up while I'm singing (Uh)

Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
Only thing they're good for is leaving
Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
I've had it up to the ceiling
Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
Only thing they're good for is leaving
And I ain't got the time, money on my mind
I'll say it to your face, fuck fake friends
(Yeah) We don't need 'em
(Bebe, you know I feel you)

And I ain't got the time, money on my mind
Say it to my face, don't pretend
And I ain't got the time, money on my mind
I'll say it to your face, fuck fake friends
And I ain't got the time, money on my mind
Say it to my face, don't pretend
And I ain't got the time, money on my mind
I'll say it to your face, fuck fake friends

Is there anybody real out here?
Got my middle, middle up while I'm singing

Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
Only thing they're good for is leaving
Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
I've had it up to the ceiling
Fuck fake friends, we don't need 'em
Only thing they're good for is leaving
And I ain't got the time, money on my mind
I'll say it to your face, fuck fake friends

Devil In Me

Page 784

Easily one of the worst days of my life.

I wasn't staring at someone I knew.

I was staring at another person.

Another personality.

An alter ego.

Somebody I didnt recognize.

An ugly monster.

You'd think that an ugly monster would be compensated with a good heart.

But this monster.. was just ugly inside out.

I was disgusted.

Appalled.

Of the extent that he would go.

How low he would stoop.

How big he would lie.

Just to get out of this predicament.

An ego like no other indeed.

I'm fairly traumatised. 

Because it's triggered a part of me I've had hidden away for a long time.

The devil in me.

Love, Eran.

And I can't control it.

Current Song Mood: Halsey - Devil In Me

You said I
Would've hit the ceiling
You said I
You said I
Should eat my feelings
Head held high

I won't take anyone down if I cry tonight
But I still let everyone down when I change in size
And I went tumbling down trying to reach your high
But I scream too loud if I speak my mind

I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
The devil in me
I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
The devil in me

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, come back to life
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, come back to life

You said I'm
Too much to handle
You said I
Shine too bright
I burnt the candle
Flew too high

I won't take anyone down if I cry tonight
But I still let everyone down when I change in size
And I went tumbling down trying to reach your high
But I scream too loud when I speak my mind

I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
The devil in me
I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
I don't wanna wake it up
The devil in me

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, come back to life
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, come back to life

Now I gotta wake it up
Now I gotta wake it up
Now I gotta wake it up
The devil in me
Now I gotta wake it up
Now I gotta wake it up
Now I gotta wake it up
The devil in me

Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, come back to life
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, gotta wake up
Gotta wake up, come back to life

Now Or Never

Page 783

Things don't always go the way you want it to.

And it's up to you whether to make the best out of it.

Or to falter.

Like dead leaves on the ground.

Denying things will make everything worse.

Running away won't solve your problems.

Face it.

Like a man.

It's now or never.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Halsey - Now Or Never

I don't wanna fight right now
Know you always right,
Now I know I need you 'round with me
But nobody waitin' 'round with me
Been through the ups
Yeah, the ups and the downs with me
Got a whole lot of love
But you don't wanna spread it 'round with me, yeah

Never pick up, never call me
You know we're runnin' out of time
Never pick up when you want me
Now I gotta draw a line
Baby, I done, done enough talking
Need to know that you're mine
Baby, we done, done enough talking
Gotta be right now, right now

Baby, gon' love me now, now, now, now, now, now
Now or never, hey, hey, hey
I want you to hold me down, down, down, down, down, down
Down forever, hey, hey, hey
Said you know I wanna keep you around
'Round forever, hey, hey, hey
I want you to love me now, now, now, now, now, now
Now or never

I'm turnin' off the light right now
I'm callin' it a night now
Wishin' you were 'round with me
But you're in a different town than me
We've been through it all
But you could never spit it out for me
Tryna talk to a wall
But you could never tear it down for me, yeah

Never pick up, never call me
You know we're runnin' out of time
Never pick up when you want me
Now I gotta draw a line
Baby, I done, done enough talking
Need to know that you're mine
Baby, we done, done enough talking
Gotta be right now, right now

Baby, gon' love me now, now, now, now, now, now
Now or never, hey, hey, hey
I want you to hold me down, down, down, down, down, down
Down forever, hey, hey, hey
Said you know I wanna keep you around
'Round forever, hey, hey, hey
I want you to love me now, now, now, now, now, now
Now or never

Yeah, draw the line up
Don't take no more time up, yeah
Make your mind up
I need you to make your mind up, yeah
Draw the line up
Don't take no more time up, yeah
Baby, you gotta decide something
Let me know

Baby, gon' love me now, now, now, now, now, now
Now or never, hey, hey, hey
I want you to hold me down, down, down, down, down, down
Down forever, hey, hey, hey
Said you know I wanna keep you around
'Round forever, hey, hey, hey
I want you to love me now, now, now, now, now, now
Now or never

Notion

Page 782

As the music played.

The noisy room suddenly grew quieter.

Everyone was mute.

The guys laughing.

Talking.

Moving about.

I couldnt hear them.

Zoned out.

All I saw was a moment..

That I was going to miss.

This place.

This notion.

Time's running out.

I'm not ready for the real world.

Not yet.

Love, Eran.

 Current Song Mood: Tash Sultana - Notion

[Verse 1]
I hear the birds
When they're singing
I hear the sirens
When they're ringing
But I can't take my mind off of you
A thousand words, pouring out
The distance of over there
Is moving on and out
You said it'd be alright

[Chorus]
How 'bout these notions
Hmm, they're deep as ocean
Calling out my name
Screaming out in vain
Singing hallelujah

[Verse 2]
Tell your mother, she don't understand
Tell your mother, she's not listening
Why don't you tear my heart
The chain is made of string
Have all the dice

You'll see the deep end(?)
That don't matter
Cause pain will heal
I will follow you
Into the dark

[Chorus]
How 'bout these notions
Hmm, they're deep as ocean
Calling out my name
Screaming out in vain
Singing hallelujah

These notions
Hmm, they're deep as ocean
Calling out my name
Screaming out in vain
Singing hallelujah

[Outro]
Singing hallelujah to you
Calling out my name
I'm in the deep end, ocean
Calling out my name
Singing hallelujah to you

All Hands On Deck

Page 781

Guess it got the best of me.

Pretty guilty about it.

Not the best of timings.

But it was one of the better encounters.

Just.. not the usual environment.

Oh well.

I had all hands on deck.

And I'm glad it worked out.

:)

Now that THAT's out of my system,

June... I'm all set out for you.

Love, Eran.

I'mma blow your mind like that.

Current Song Mood: Tinashe - All Hands On Deck

[Hook:]
All hands on deck
All in the front, all in the back just like that, like that
Imma blow your mind take it out on the floor like that, like that
All in the front, all in the back just like that, like that
Imma blow your mind like that

Wasted heart
When you left me, you left me with no choice
I'm looking for a boy to fill this empty void
Kiss the old me goodbye she's dead and gone, dead and gone, oh
Wasted heart
You took the last bit of love I've ever had
You took a good girl and you turned me oh so bad
Kiss the old me goodbye she's dead and gone, dead and gone, oh

[Hook 2x]

Wasted heart
Done this till death do us apart
I watch you fold like a house of cards
Kiss the old me goodbye she's dead and gone dead and gone dead and gone
One by one, I watch you fall down, watch you fall like dominoes
Take no prisoners, search and destroy
Baby, look at what you've done
One by one, I watch 'em go down, watch 'em fall like dominoes
Watch 'em go down, watch 'em go down, watch 'em go down

[Hook]

And you know that I tried
Really gave my all
Everything that we built
Baby, you let it fall, you let it fall
And now you want me
Want me back now
And the thing that's so funny
Is, baby, I'm long gone, I'm long gone

[Hook 2x]