Adore You

Page 1306

Very productive day today.

Can never get enough of breakfast dates :D

Scramble eggs and hotcakessss. Yassss.

I could do this everyday.

Ran some errands today. Managed to complete all of them.

Phew.

Went home to cuddle & caught a pretty cliche movie.

'Countdown' had its moment but it got pretty stupid at the end. Hahaha.

Then started work on my upcoming releases.

I submitted a song for playlist consideration, and I'm really hoping it gets through!

Fingers crossed.

The rest of the day was spent in bed. 

My favourite part of the day.

We are literally the world's laziest couple. Hahaha.

Talking about life or laughing our asses off.

Time passes so fast when we're having fun.

I am grateful for you.

Words can't express how much I adore you.

And trust me, I really do.

:)

I am myself when I am with you.

You bring out the best in me.

Love, Manja-kin

Current Song Mood: Harry Styles - Adore You

Walk in your rainbow paradise
Strawberry lipstick state of mind
I get so lost inside your eyes
Would you believe it?

You don't have to say you love me
You don't have to say nothing
You don't have to say you're mine

Honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Oh honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

Your wonder, under summer skies
Brown skin and lemon over ice
Would you believe it?

You don't have to say you love me
I just wanna tell you something
Lately you've been on my mind

Honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Oh honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

(It's the only thing I'll ever do)
(It's the only thing I'll ever do)
(It's the only thing I'll ever do)
(It's the only thing I'll ever do)
(It's the only thing I'll ever do)
(It's the only thing I'll ever do)
(It's the only thing I'll ever do)
(It's the only thing I'll ever do)

I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Oh honey
I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you
Oh honey
Oh honey

I'd walk through fire for you
Just let me adore you

Oh honey
Just let me adore you
Like it's the only thing I'll ever do

All I Got

Page 1305

Back to ourselves again.

One year later, and we're still the same. 

:)

I am so comfortable around you.

A year ago, I wrote a beautiful song for you.

What did it meant to me?

It was a song about me finding love again.

After everything I've been through, it was a scary thing to start all over again.

And I'm glad I took that chance.

There's a vulnerability to the song.

In which I asked 'could you stay just a little longer?'

It was the uncertainty about the future of us.

But yet here we are, a year later.

You're all I got.

And I couldn't ask for anything more.

Thank you for sticking by me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Said The Sky Ft Kwesi - All I Got

I told you I would come back home
I know you hate to be alone
Instead of kissing you goodnight I'm kissing strangers
Always listen but I'll never learn
Shoulda been hanging on your every word
I was taking you for granted never realized the danger

And now I took too long
And now she's gone
If I only knew right from wrong
She'd be right back in my arms

All I got is you
All I got is you

I always meant to hold you closer
But I don't always do what I'm supposed to
Now you're slipping through my fingers and I don't know what to do
And I keep hoping you call back
Can we forget about the past
Cause baby all I really want is you

And now I took too long
And now she's gone
If I only knew right from wrong
She'd be right back in my arms

All I got is you
All I got is you

4am and I cannot say goodbye
Crawling back home id do anything for you
And I'm sitting up awake and now I can't forget you and I don't know what to do

Yea

Love Me Wrong

Page 1304

Truly a Blue Monday.

I am not myself today.

What am I so afraid of?

Maybe it's really just PTSD.

Maybe I'm just going crazy.

It just keeps repeating in my head.

Over and over.

Bringing me down.

Affecting me at work.

I guess I have my own triggers.

Demons from the past..

That I've been running away from, resurfacing.

I thought I was okay.

But I didn't know I'd be so affected like this.

Talking it out really helped.

It is going to be okay.

I'll get through this.

I will. I will. We will.

You're not like the rest who loved me wrong.

No, you are different.

You're the only one that's ever truly cared for me. Loved me.

My life would've been so different without you around.

The past year has been beautiful.

With us being there for each other, through everything.

And I am so thankful for you.

A year of movies, cuddles & farts.

:)

Our love is sacred.

And I hope it will always be that way,

Happy Anniversary, love.

You are everything to me.

& I love you with all my heart.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Allie X Ft Troye Sivan - Love Me Wrong

Oh, you love me
You put me to bed
Yeah, you love me
Dress me to the nines
Yeah, you love me
You tell me I'm special, so special
I know you love me
'Cause you want the best

But you love me wrong
Yeah you love me wrong

Oh, you love me
You lose sleep over me
I know you love me
'Cause I'm there in your wallet
And your locket
I heard you talk about me in the kitchen
And you didn't know I was listening
But I was there
Sitting on the stairs
Talk about me in the kitchen
And you didn't know I was listening
But I was there
And that isn't fair

Wrong
Yeah you love me wrong
Yeah you love me wrong
Yeah you love me wrong
Yeah you love me wrong
Yeah you love me wrong
You love me wrong

I'll never be
How you remember me
So I'd rather be
In your memory
No, I'll never be
How you remember me
So I'd rather be
In your memory

The Girl

Page 1303 

Can you believe it?

It's been almost a year.

A year of us together.

Tomorrow marks our Anniversary.

I never thought I would find love again.

Real love.

I couldn't ask for anything else.

Seeing your face light up under the therapy light.

Teary-eyed.

As this song played.

With every word perfect in that moment.

The first ever song you played for me.

'The Girl'.

I remember.

Because it was a really special moment. 

To be in your arms for the first time.

And then you decided to play it for me.

It was so sweet.

I loved it. So much.

Thank you for thanking your chance on me.

I am not perfect.

This relationship has its ups and downs.

But I have never regretted it.

And I love you with all my heart.

I always will.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: City And Colour - The Girl

I wish I could do better by you, 
'cause that's what you deserve
You sacrifice so much of your life
In order for this to work.

While I'm off chasing my own dreams
Sailing around the world
Please know that I'm yours to keep
My beautiful girl

When you cry a piece of my heart dies
Knowing that I may have been the cause
If you were to leave
Fulfill someone else's dreams
I think I might totally be lost
You don't ask for no diamond rings no delicate string of pearls
That's why I wrote this song to sing
My beautiful girl

ooooo ooo ohhh ohh oh oh

One, two, one two three four
I wish I could do better by you
'cause it's what you deserve
You sacrifice so much of your life
in order for this to work

While I'm off chasing my own dreams (my own dreams)
sailing around the world ('round the world)
Please know that I'm yours to keep
My beautiful girl

And when you cry a piece of my heart dies
Knowing that I may have been the cause
If you were to leave and fulfill someone else's dreams
I think I might totally be lost

But you don't ask for no diamond rings (Diamond rings)
No delicate string of pearls (String of pearls)
That's why I wrote this song to sing
My beautiful girl

ooooo ooo ohhh ohh oh oh
ooooo ooo ohhh ohh oh oh
ooooo ooo ohhh ohh oh oh
ooooo ooo ohhh ohh oh oh

But you don't ask for no diamond rings (Diamond rings)
No delicate string of pearls (String of Pearls)
That's why I wrote this song to sing
My beautiful girl.

Forever

Page 1302

It's been a while since I've had a meaningful conversation with my patients.

One of them suddenly opened up to me today.

He asked me if I had plans to get married.

I told him I might migrate.

He told me, 'everyone is leaving Singapore these days'.

And 'once they leave, they'll never come back.'

It was something he could relate.

All his four children married outside of Singapore.

America, Australia. Just to name a few.

Started their own families, moved on.

And never came back.

I asked, 'Do you miss them?'

'No. I'm better off without them.'

To him, the higher education you get, the more 'action' you become.

2 of his children were teachers.

And he saw them changing. 

I can't say that he's wrong.

He had a niece that wanted to go overseas.

He scolded her, and told her not to go.

His niece probably thought he was crazy.

I agreed. And we laughed.

She did not know his intentions.

He was used to loneliness.

His wife died 4 years ago.

So it's just him.

He paused.

Probably reminiscing about her.

He had a maid he was close with. Who always accompanied him to our centre.

We had our fair share of laughs together, the three of us.

She went back in December to get married.

Never came back, cause her husband wanted her to stay.

So he has to get a new one.

It really got me when he said...

'I'll be here till I die'.

He had accepted his fate.

Life is really just short.

There is really no forever, is there?

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lewis Capaldi - Forever

Caught me off guard, I wish that I'd been sober
Still, here we are, back in Hanover 99
Just like old times all over

Under the exit lights as beautiful as ever
I really wish that I dressed up a little better
No regrets is what we said
We can't go back again

Darling, nobody said that it would last forever
That doesn't mean we didn't try to get there
I never said that we would die together
That doesn't mean it was a lie
Remember, nobody said that it would last forever

Head in my hands, cold coffee on the table
Wish you the best, I would if I was able
Morning light, it stings a little

Out of my mind, I don't remember calling
Had too much tonic wine, sometimes it does the talking
Hope you know I wish you all the love you're looking for

Darling, nobody said that it would last forever
That doesn't mean we didn't try to get there
I never said that we would die together
That doesn't mean it was a lie
Remember, nobody said that it would last forever

Forever, forever, forever

Nobody said that it would last forever
That doesn't mean we didn't try to get there
I never said that we would die together
That doesn't mean it was a lie
They'll never take those long summer days
When love was untamed
Two burning hearts are dared to break
Remember, nobody said that it would last forever

Wrong Direction

Page 1301

So..

You're back.

In our lives.

Under the same roof.

I'm not sure how to feel about that.

Any feelings of resentment and hate are just not there anymore.

It's just.

Nothing.

A space.

A void.

Of nothingness.

That's okay with me.

There's just.. tendency for shit to happen.

A wrong direction.

A high-risk.

I swore to myself..

If anything like what happened 3 years ago happened in this house again.

You won't see me around anymore.

Until then, 

I'll be on my toes.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Hailee Steinfeld - Wrong Direction

I don't hate you
No, I couldn't if I wanted to
I just hate all the hurt that you put me through
And that I blame myself for letting you
Did you know I already knew?

Couldn't even see you through the smoke
Lookin' back, I probably should have known
But I just wanted to believe that you were out sleepin' alone

Loved me with your worst intentions
Didn't even stop to question
Every time you burned me down
Don't know how; for a moment it felt like heaven
Loved me with your worst intentions
Painted us a happy ending
Every time you burned me down
Don't know how; for a moment it felt like heaven

And it's so gut-wrenchin'
Fallin' in the wrong direction

On my tip-toes
But I still couldn't reach your ego
Guess I was crazy to give you my body, my mind
Don't know what I was thinkin' 'til now
Everyone thinks that your somebody else
You even convinced yourself

Couldn't even see you through the smoke
Lookin' back, I probably should have known
But I just wanted to believe that you were out sleepin' alone

Loved me with your worst intentions
Didn't even stop to question
Every time you burned me down
Don't know how; for a moment it felt like heaven
Loved me with your worst intentions
Painted us a happy ending
Every time you burned me down
Don't know how; for a moment it felt like heaven

And it's so gut-wrenchin' (Ooh, ooh)
Fallin' in the wrong direction (Ooh, ooh)
How did you sweep me right off my feet?
Baby, I can't keep falling in the wrong direction
How did you sweep me right off my feet?
Right off my feet

Couldn't even see you through the smoke
Lookin' back, I probably should have known
But I just wanted to believe that you were out sleepin' alone

Loved me with your worst intentions
Didn't even stop to question (Oh, no)
Every time you burned me down
Don't know how; for a moment it felt like heaven
Loved me with your worst intentions
Painted us a happy ending (Ooh)
Every time you burned me down (Me down)
Don't know how; for a moment, it felt like heaven

And it's so gut-wrenchin'
Fallin' in the wrong direction

Everyday Life

Page 1300

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

#2020

Such a beautiful night I had last night.

Watching the fireworks with loved ones.

Sitting around, and talking about life.

It's all I've ever wanted.

Beautiful.

I'm looking forward to what this new year brings.

And experience everyday life.

Here's a recap of all the beautiful things that happened last year.

New Music I discovered & loved (Based on Spotify):

• Billie Eilish
• FINNEAS
• Rei Brown
• Olafur
• Above & Beyond
• Maggie Rogers
• Normani
• Dark Rooms
• Fractures
• Novo Amor
• Ruel
• Jet
• Cyn 
• Sody
• Aquilo
• Jome
• Gordi
• Lewis Capaldi
• Allie X
• King Princess
• Finding Hope
• Vancouver Sleep Clinic
• Easter Island
• Dido
• Khalid
• Julia Michaels
• Sasha Sloan
• Joshua Simon
• Wrabel
• Alfie Alcurie
• EDEN
• Charles Fauna
• Rhye
• brb.
• Kevin Mchale
• Jacob Lee
• Shura
• BANKS
• JoJo

So many new favourites, but EDEN, Billie & FINNEAS were definitely the artist of the year for me. And not to mention Olafur whom made me cry on so many occasions. And finally the comebacks of BANKS & JOJO!!!

A couple of achievements & milestones:

• Completing my DEGREE
• Staying in a beautiful relationship for a year. All low-key and private, :) Weekly cuddles and meet-ups were a necessity to stay sane throughout the year.
• Going for a trip to Melbourne - And just feeling young & free.
• Releasing my first official song - A big step for me to put something personal out in the world. And also as a closure for the past.
• Watching fireworks and celebrating New Years with my lover - hehehe.
• Oh and all the FOOOOOOD we've explored & ate. Breakfast dates and all. (I've gained like 10kg throughout the year, :x)

What's next?!

My graduation.

Resignation & finding a newer, better job.

Releasing my EP.

Working on new music.

More travelling I hope.

And to go back to Melbourne :)

Just putting this out in the Universe. HAHA.

Thanks for reading.

Take care, and Have a Happy New Year. xx

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Coldplay - Everyday Life

What in the world are we going to do?
Look at what everybody's going through
What kind of world do you want it to be?
Am I the future or the history?

'Cause everyone hurts, everyone cries
Everyone tells each other all kinds of lies
Everyone falls, everybody dreams and doubts
Got to keep dancing when the lights go out

How in the world am I going to see
You as my brother, not my enemy?

'Cause everyone hurts, everyone cries
Everyone sees the colour in each other's eyes
Everyone loves, everybody gets their hearts ripped out
Got to keep dancing when the lights go out
Gonna keep dancing when the lights go out
Hold tight for everyday life
Hold tight for everyday life

At first light, throw my arms out, open wide
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelu-halle-hallelujah
Hallelujah, hallelujah
Hallelu-halle-hallelujah
Yes