Go Back In Time

Page 1383

Reminisced about Melbourne today.

It was because of San Holo.

His uplifting songs always takes us back there.

Man...

I cant wait to go back there.

I really miss it.

The atmosphere.

The friendly Aussies.

The easy-going lifestyle.

The great food.

And just, soaking up everything.

We were so happy there.

And free.

I wish we could go back in time.

And live it all again.

Soon, I hope.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: San Holo - Go Back In Time

You make me feeling someone new
Climbing up to see the view
I can't find another you
You, grab my mind to find 'round you
I was save for something new
I can't find another you

I'll let you change my mind
Let's go back in time
I'll let you change my mind
Let's go back in time
Let's go back in time
Let's go back in time

You, ain't not done with barely new
There's was nothing we could do
I can't find another you
You, you could love without excuse
I was hiding from the truth
I can't find another you

I'll let you change my mind
Let's go back in time
I'll let you change my mind
Let's go back in time
Let's go back in time
Let's go back in time

Brave

Page 1382

Man...

What a day.

Just thankful it was the last working day of the week.

Sometimes you just have to act brave.

And go for it.

Get it over, and done with.

Even though I cried.

Hahaha.

Fuck it man.

Just.. keep it together. 

The only way out.. is through.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: David Archuleta - Brave

I know at some point in the future
I don't wanna be looking back
The things that I didn't go for
Some day'll bite me on the butt

I keep on wasting my time now
Sometimes I'm feeling so lame
I'm letting everything go south
When I should be up on my game

When somebody steps into my life
The world shakes under my feet
I don't wait, I just take flight
When things start getting too deep

I don't know why I keep doing it
I worry bout things I can't change
It's a problem I'll admit
It always ends up the same

I can be brave
For all those days that I'm losing my way
I need a voice inside that's gonna say
Be brave
I can be brave
For all those days that I'm losing my way
I need a voice inside that's gonna say
Be brave
I can be

All of these conversations
I sit down and have with myself
Loaded with information
And that isn't good for my health

Cause it's like a mountain in my head
It's pretty much touching the sky
So I figure why not just stay in bed
Why even bother to try

No one, no one really knows the things I gotta do
How many, how many walls and people that I gotta move

Life ain't waiting for no one
But someone's waiting for me
And holding back is so dumb
Lord, give me clarity

To be brave
For all those days that I'm losing my way
I need a voice inside that's gonna say
Be brave
I can be brave
For all those days that I'm losing my way
I need a voice inside that's gonna say
Be brave
I can be brave

And I'm ready to fight
When shadows come
To hunt me down
And I, I won't give up
No I won't give up
Let the war cry sound

Be brave
I can be brave

For all those days that I'm losing my way
I need a voice inside that's gonna say
Be brave
I can be brave
For all those days that I'm losing my way
I need a voice inside that's gonna say
Be brave
I can be brave

Chromatica III // Sine From Above

Page 1381

Came across a powerful video today.

Actress & R&B singer Keke Palmer (True Jackson, Scream Queens) was seen talking to the National Guards.

I was expecting the worse.

But I was caught off guard.

She was so passionate.

Preaching about the protest.

Even, inviting them. To march along their side.

Join them. Protect them.

She was so emotional.

And it tugged my heart.

Clearly - the guards looked like they were put in a spot.

I'm sure they're contradicted by orders from above.

And yet, here they were, listening to her.

Nodding at what she says.

Trying to explain the situation.

They had to stand their ground.

But they seemed empathetic.

Keke was exasperated. Tells them to please at least, take a knee.

And they did.

Every single one of them.

Maybe there is hope after all.

A sine from above.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood #1: Lady Gaga - Chromatica III

Current Song Mood #2: Lady Gaga, Elton John - Sine From Above

When I was young, I prayed for lightning
My mother said it would come and find me
I found myself without a prayer
I lost my love and no one cared
When I was young, I prayed for lightning

Yeah, I looked
With my face up to the sky, but I saw nothing there
No, no, nothing there
Yeah, I stared
While my eyes filled up with tears, but there was nothing there
No, no, nothing

I heard one sine from above
I heard one sine from above
Then the signal split in two
The sound created stars like me and you
Before there was love, there was silence
I heard one sine
And it healed my heart, heard a sine

Healed my heart, heard a sine
Healed my heart, heard a sine

When I was young, I felt immortal
And not a day went by without a struggle
I lived my days just for the nights
I lost myself under the lights
When I was young, I felt immortal

Yeah, I looked
With my face up to the sky, but I saw nothing there
No, no, nothing there
Yeah, I stared
While my eyes filled up with tears, but there was nothing there
No, no, nothing

I heard one sine from above
I heard one sine from above
Then the signal split in two
The sound created stars like me and you
Before there was love, there was silence
I heard one sine
And it healed my heart, heard a sine

Healed my heart, heard a sine
Healed my heart, heard a sine

Then the signal split in two
The sound created stars like me and you
Before there was love, there was silence
I heard one sine
And it healed my heart, heard a sine

Healed my heart
Healed my-
Heart, heard a-
Sine
Healed my-
Heart, heard a sine

Chromatica II // 911

Page 1380

It felt like everything was normal again.

The Social Distancing stickers have all been removed in public.

Everyone still distanced themselves, commuting quietly.

Yet, on the Twitterverse, it was utter chaos.

It is so, so scary.

That it is in fact - a recurrent problem throughout the whole world.

I can only imagine what people in the US are going through.

To have a President that only cares about himself.

And declaring 'war' on his own people.

Trying to shut them up with violence.

That there are people that ACTUALLY supports him.

That there are people who care more about property damage, and their own skin, instead for those that have been constantly subjected to discrimination all their lives.

That people people have actually gotten injured, or died protesting.

The pain is deeper than you expect.

It is sad to see.

911 is nothing but a number now.

The world is watching.

I chose to blackout everything I was on.

Here for this 💯.

Black Lives Matter.

And if you don't see that,

Maybe you're part of the problem.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood #1: Lady Gaga - Chromatica II

Current Song Mood #2: Lady Gaga - 911

Turning up emotional faders
Keep repeating self-hating phrases
I have heard enough of these voices
Almost like I have no choice

This is biological stasis
My mood's shifting to manic places
Wish I laughed and kept the good friendships
Watch life, here I go again

I can't see me cry
Can't see me cry ever again (Ooh)
I can't see me cry
Can't see me cry this is the end (Ooh)

My biggest enemy is me
Pop a 911
My biggest enemy is me
Pop a 911
My biggest enemy is me
Ever since day one
Pop a 911
Then pop another one

Keep my dolls inside diamond boxes
Save them till I know I'm gon' drop this
Front I've built around me oasis
Paradise is in my hand
Holding on so tight to this status
It's not real but I'll try to grab it
Keep myself in beautiful places
Paradise is in my hands

I can't see me cry
Can't see me cry ever again (Ooh)
I can't see me cry
Can't see me cry this is the end (Ooh)

My biggest enemy is me
Pop a 911
My biggest enemy is me
Pop a 911
My biggest enemy is me
Ever since day one
Pop a 911
Then pop another one
(Pop another one)
Pop a 911
Then pop another one

I can't see me cry
Can't see me cry ever again (Ooh)
I can't see me cry
Can't see me cry this is the end (Ooh)

My biggest enemy is me
Pop a 911
My biggest enemy is me
Pop a 911
My biggest enemy is me
Ever since day one
Pop a 911
Then pop another one

Please patch the line
Please patch the line
Need a 911, can you patch the line
Please patch the line
Please patch the line
Need a 911, can you patch the line

Chromatica I // Alice

Page 1379

Hello June.

Man.. half of the year has passed already.

It's been a happening year indeed.

Well, let's talk about Gaga's new album.

She's gone to her old pop ways.

But in a totally new way.

I cant explain it.

But it feels so refreshing.

I don't know how she does it.

I'd never thought I'd find myself liking House music. Or dance pop.

Or whatever you call it.

I just feel all the passion she puts into her songs.

It makes me feel empowered.

And the best part - makes me dance uncontrollably.

I think that's just wonderful.

Thank you Gaga.

For introducing us to the world of Chromatica.

It is not just an album, but an experience.

My name isn't Alice.

But I'll keep searching for my Wonderland.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood #1: Lady Gaga - Chromatica |

Current Song Mood #2: Lady Gaga - Alice

My name isn't Alice
But I'll keep looking, I'll keep looking for Wonderland
My name isn't Alice
But I'll keep looking, I'll keep looking for Wonderland, Wonderland

Ah-ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ah
Set me free
Ah-ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ah
Set me free

Could you pull me out of this alive?
Ah-ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ah
Where's my body? I'm stuck in my mind
Ah-ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ah

Oh ma-ma-ma, oh ma-ma-ma
I'm tired of screaming
Oh ma-ma-ma, oh ma-ma-ma
At the top of my lungs
Oh my mother, oh my mother
I'm in the hole, I'm falling down, down, so down, down

My name isn't Alice
But I'll keep looking, I'll keep looking for Wonderland
My name isn't Alice
But I'll keep looking, I'll keep looking for Wonderland, Wonderland

Take me home
Take me to Wonderland, Wonderland
Take me home
Take me to Wonderland, Wonderland

Sick and tired of waking up
Screaming at the top of my lungs
Think I might have just left myself behind
Maestro, play me your symphony
I will listen to anything
Take me on a trip, DJ, free my mind

My name isn't Alice
But I'll keep looking, I'll keep looking for Wonderland
My name isn't Alice
But I'll keep looking, I'll keep looking for Wonderland, Wonderland

Take me home
Take me to Wonderland, Wonderland
Take me home
Take me to Wonderland, Wonderland

Take me home
Take me to Wonderland, Wonderland
Take me home
Take me to Wonderland, Wonderland

Ah-ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ah
Set me free
Ah-ah-ah-oh, ah-ah-ah-oh
Set me free

Be Kind

Page 1378

The world is shifting into a new direction.

All the Black Lives Matter protests that are popping up on my feed.

Heck, even our celebrities are using their platforms to voice out on it (Thank you Billie).

My faves (JoJo, Halsey etc) even went out to protest.

Thank you for that.

I hope something positive comes out of it.

Seeing everyone so united, really warms my heart.

After starting on the Jeffrey Epstein Docuseries, it's obvious enough about how corrupted some of our 'government' services are.

It is so scary.

Too much..

But the truth always prevails.

Until then.

Be kind, always.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Marshmello, Halsey - Be Kind

Wanna believe
Wanna believe
That you don't have a bad bone in your body
But the bruises on your ego make you go wild, wild, wild, yeah
Wanna believe
Wanna believe
That even when you're stone cold
You're sorry
Tell me why you gotta be so out of your mind, yeah

I know you're chokin' on your fears
Already told you I'm right here
I will stay by your side
Every night

I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
I

I know you need, I know you need
The upper hand even when we aren't fighting
'Cause in the past, you had to prepare every time, yeah
Don't wanna leave, don't wanna leave
But if you're gonna fight then do it for me
I know you're built to love, but broken now, so just try
Yeah

I know you're chokin' on your fears
Already told you, I'm right here
I will stay by your side
Every night

I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah

I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair
Going sick in the head, tryna get you there
And I know it's hard for you, but it's not fair
It's not fair

I don't know why you hide from the one
And close your eyes to the one
Mess up and lie to the one that you love
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah, ah
When you know you can cry to the one
Always confide in the one
You can be kind to the one that you love
Ah

Sorry

Page 1377

Selamat Fucking Hari Raya.

While everyone else is busy eating good food and dressed up in traditional costumes, happily video calling one another, the atrocities at home got out of hand this morning.

Another fight.

Yeah, well, what do you expect?

'Oh, I'm sorry?'

Is it as simple as that?

I wonder what my Mum was thinking.

''Forced forgiveness'' is such a ridiculous concept.

Her intentions were pure. But really, it did not help at all.

In fact, it made things worse.

And clear - that there was no hope for reconciliation.

It's been a while since I've screamed at anyone.

And I do not like to, at all.

I have my childhood traumas too.

And most of it revolved around the family fights.

The violence.

Where do you think my anxiety & abandonment issues came from?

Because everyone's so fucking hostile here.

But hey, who the fuck cares about the psychological impacts of your actions on your younger brothers right?

:)

Yeah, everyone is selfish in their own ways.

We had a long discussion.

Wrongdoings were addressed - and that was much appreciated, at least.

And we came to a conclusion that there is no more 'family'.

Not a full one anyway.

Peace is officially disrupted - with tension in the air.

So yeah.

This is how it goes.

And it's for the best.

I just cant wait to move the fuck out of here.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Aquilo - Sorry 

The note you wrote upon a shell
The frozen air in Silverdale
My heart is breaking by the shore
And I couldn't give you anymore

And I'm still shaking
And crawling back again
And all my brothers
And all my sisters are gone

I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry that the feeling shows
But I just wasn't there
I'm reminded of the fool I was
I cut you off and fucked it up again
I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared

This pillow case it smells of you
And time itself it stops to prove
That for a moment nothings changed
And everything just stays the same

And I'm still shaking
And crawling back again
And all my brothers
And all my sisters are gone

I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry that the feeling shows
But I just wasn't there
I'm reminded of the fool I was
I cut you off and fucked it up again
I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared

I left the light on
So you could see me from the dark
But then it blinded us
And left us where we are

I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared
I'm sorry that the feeling shows
but i just wasn't there
I'm reminded of the fool I was
I cut you off and fucked it up again
I'm sorry that I let you go
I'm sorry that I cared