Roses // Certain Things

Page 175

The year is coming to an end..  And I've decided to dedicate posts to those that have made a difference to me in the past year. There were SO MANY individuals that's made such an impact to me. But I'll only select a few. These people gave me the courage to love again. To be unafraid of accepting love. Though.. with love, comes heartbreak. But that's not the point. The experiences made me grow into a better person.

I'm starting with this one, dedicated to A.R.

We communicated at first through an app, and progressed to texting.

You were special to me. For a period of time, I fell so in love with you. You sent me selfies at every moment you could. Haha! And so did I. :) You'd ask me to meet up with you for supper. But I'd be too busy with school work. You were so horrible at bike-riding that you failed countless of times. HAHAHA. But still, I was there for you. The way you texted me, your tone of voice.. You were so loving. It's taught me a lot.

Well.. I thought I loved you. But feelings change. It changed when your words started speaking louder than your actions. We were supposed to meet-up during the fasting month. But you kept making up excuses. For a period of time, you disappeared. You dmed me on Instagram and told me you lost your contacts. You texted me your sorries.. this and that. And that was that. I stopped replying. Because I was just sick and tired, of all the excuses. And you gave up too. You didnt even bother asking why, or to fight back. You just stopped trying.

I know I was partly at fault. But I had to do what I did. Our chapter ended there.

But I have to thank you. Our moments were bittersweet. I learned how to be a better lover because of you. Kinda. Heh.

These 2 songs of the days were so special and significant to me during the period we were contacting.

Such amazing magical love songs. They take me right back to that period…

And I'm SO happy to be sharing them with you guys. Seriously.

Take a listen…

Love, Eran.

I could've chose anybody but I chose you.

Current Song Mood: James Arthur Ft Emeli Sande - Roses

[Verse:]
I could've chose anybody but I chose you
Ooh ooh
Help me get better, you pull me right out of the blue
Oh oh
And daddy don't like you, but daddy and I never speak
Ee ee
Every night when I wake up I need you to get back to sleep
Ee ee

[Chorus:]
Smells like roses to me
Two young lovers at sea
Tastes so bitter, so sweet
You're my bang, together we go bang bang bang
Bang bang bang
Bang bang bang
Oh oh, oh oh

[Verse:]
You could've chose anybody but you chose me
Ee Ee
Hiding in bedsits cause no one around us agrees
Ee ees
And I feel romantic cause since morning I've been at the wine
I, I
Shall we eat all the poison and leave all the questions behind
I, I

[Chorus:]
Smells like roses to me
Two young lovers at sea
Tastes so bitter, so sweet
You're my bang, together we go bang bang bang
Bang bang bang
Bang bang bang

[Bridge:]
And all the chemicals and alcohol make for a volatile love
But stay with me
Just stay with me
And I never wanna lose you but I feel that this closeness will tear us apart
But stay with me
Stay with me
Bang, bang, bang [x4]

[Chorus:]
Smells like roses to me
Two young lovers at sea
Tastes so bitter, so sweet
You're my bang, together we go bang bang bang

I was certain that I was yours…

Current Song Mood: James Arthur Ft Chasing Grace - Certain Things

[Verse:]
Something about you
It's like an addiction
Hit me with your best shot honey
I've got no reason to doubt you
'Cause certain things hurt
And you're my only virtue
And I'm virtually yours

[Pre-Chorus:]
And you keep coming back, coming back again
Keep running round, running round, running round my head

[Chorus:]
And there's certain things that I adore
And there's certain things that I ignore
But I'm certain that I'm yours
Certain that I'm yours
Certain that I'm yours

[Verse:]
There's something about you
It's when you get angry
You have me as your mercy
And you're like the shoulder to turn to
'Cause certain things mend us that's when we're hanging on for dear life
We held on so tight

[Pre-Chorus:]
And you keep coming back, coming back again
Keep running round, running round, running round my head

[Chorus x2:]
And there's certain things that I adore
And there's certain things that I ignore
But I'm certain that I'm yours
Certain that I'm yours
Certain that I'm yours

I adore you... I adore you...
Certain that I'm yours

All The Time // Hands On Me // Get On Your Knees

Page 174

It felt good to go out with this jacket on. Especially with the rainy weather :)

Today was amazing. Finally.. really learning to embrace my day offs. LoL! To be able to sleep in, to enjoy the amazing weather, and to enjoy the great loving company.. Not to mention the wonderful music being played. I've never felt so warm and safe. Felt like such a happy lil kid today hehe.

Today I've also seen things that made me realise how wonderful it is to be an independent man. Maturity doesn't just come from words but it's shown through actions too.

:)

Life is so unpredictable. One day I want to change myself, another day I feel indifferent. One day somebody leaves, and then another comes along. I guess that's how life works huh? In the most unpredictable ways possible. Well one thing's for sure... I'll just go with the flow.

Love, Eran.

This was the perfect * song.

Current Song Mood: Jeremih - All The Time

Early in the morning's when I think about you
I hit you like what you sayin'
And the morning when I wanna fuck you
Yeah, I hit you like what you sayin'
I could fuck you all the time
I could fuck you all the time

M-O-E-T
That's what the fuck we be sippin
That's what the fuck be drippin
My Trap house still tippin
Face time while I'm gone
She gave me dome from the distance
She love to climb on top
But she love to walk off limping
Pimps up, hoes down
Legs up or toes down
Why she jock me, cause she knocked knee'd
And we got trees, so many go around
Gotta know I ate her
She so sweet now and later
I want that all the time, all the time
I know you all mine...

Early in the morning's when I think about you
I hit you like what you sayin'
In the morning when I wanna fuck you
Yeah, I hit you like what you sayin'
I could fuck you all the time
I could fuck you all the time

Early in the morning's when I think about you
I hit you like what you sayin'
In the morning when I wanna fuck you
Yeah, I hit you like what you sayin'
I could fuck you all the time
I could fuck you all the time

I loved it.

Can we do it again?

Current Song Mood: Ariana Grande Ft A$AP Rocky - Hands On Me

Keep your hands on me
Don't take them off until I say so
Let me break you off
We'll be taking off
Or maybe making love
You just keep your eyes on my you know what

Trembling, when you touch
Rush is racing body baking
Picture me and you making
Making sweet love
Baby, give it to me

Eyes on me, dance on me tonight
You're all, all I need
Keep your hands on me

Don't take them off
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Don't take them off
Put your hands on me
You can put your hands on me
If you like what you see
Baby, put your hands on me
It's your birthday
Every day with me
And my maker hard rock ASAP
It's your birthday
Every day with me
And my maker hard rock ASAP

Skirt off keep the high heels on
Might be a little thing but I like that long, yeah
Don't let these eyes fool ya
I can take it, hold nothing back, give it to me

Eyes on me, dance on me tonight
You're all, all I need
Keep your hands on me

Don't take them off
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Don't take them off
Put your hands on me
You can put your hands on me
If you like what you see
Baby, put your hands on me

It's your birthday
Every day with me
And my maker hard rock ASAP
It's your birthday
Every day with me
And my maker hard rock ASAP

Can I, can I, can I please put my hand on it?
Shaking like they're burning, lemme put a fan on it
Bumblebee got a parachute to land on it
Cause you got the cake, can I put my candle on it?

It's your birthday
Every day with me
And my maker hand rock ASAP
Got me talking marriage
I like what I see
And might put a ring on it
Work a B and Jay-Z
But before I do that let me put a hand on it
Oh so hot I could catch a tan on it
Got me sweating so much we can swim on the dance floor
We gon' have to mess around and put a damn on it
Damn on it

Lover I feel

Baby I can't keep it

Your hands so free

We dance along..
Don't take them off
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Put your hands on it
Don't take them off
Put your hands on me
You can put your hands on me
If you like what you see
Baby, put your hands on me

Get on your knees. 

Beg for it.

Current Song Mood: Nicki Minaj Ft Ariana Grande - Get On Your Knees

[Chorus - Ariana Grande:]
Get on your knees, get on your knees, get on your knees
Baby, just get on your knees
Say pretty please, say pretty please, say pretty please
Baby, just say pretty please

[Verse 1 - Nicki Minaj:]
I'll be back at 11, you just act like a peasant
Got a bow on my panties because my ass is a present
Yeah, it's gooder than Meagan, you look good when you're beggin'
I be laughing when you begging me to just put the head in
Let me sit on your face, it's OK you could play with it
When I'm bouncing it chill out and don't you make a mistake with it
Let me see what you're workin' with, If I'm ridin', I'm murkin' it
Slow grindin', I'm twerkin' it, yeah, I bagged him, I Birkin'd it

[Pre-Chorus - Ariana Grande:]
I don't need a dozen roses
You ain't gotta wine and dine, no
I don't need a pretty poet
Oooh, gettin' all emotional
You gotta beg for it, beg for it
I wanna see you lookin' up
Baby, I'ma need you to beg for it
[Chorus - Ariana Grande:]
Get on your knees, get on your knees, get on your knees
Baby, just get on your knees
Say pretty please, say pretty please, say pretty please
Baby, just say pretty please

[Verse 2 - Nicki Minaj:]
Gimme brain, assume the position
Make me way smarter like you was a magician
Paid my dues and tuition, it's good for your nutrition
Good head like a beautician, got me twitchin', finish your mission
You make me cum down, make it run down
I'ma need you to give these other dudes the run down
You got that legendary, this shit is freak, scary
Got me seein' them fireworks, I'm on my Kate Perry

[Pre-Chorus - Ariana Grande:]
I don't need a dozen roses
You ain't gotta wine and dine, no
I don't need a pretty poet
Oooh, gettin' all emotional
You gotta beg for it, beg for it
I wanna see you lookin' up
Baby, I'ma need you to beg for it

[Bridge - Ariana Grande:]
Cause we are just animals
Baby, it's primal
I want you on all fours
And before I let you walk, you gotta show me how you crawl
If you want it all
It's non negotiable
So do as I say
If you wanna get the job, you better know who's the boss

[Pre-Chorus - Ariana Grande:]
I don't need a dozen roses
You ain't gotta wine and dine, no
I don't need a pretty poet
Oooh, gettin' all emotional
You gotta beg for it, beg for it
I wanna see you lookin' up
Baby, I'ma need you to beg for it

[Chorus - Ariana Grande:]
Get on your knees, get on your knees, get on your knees
Baby, just get on your knees
Say pretty please, say pretty please, say pretty please
Baby, just say pretty please

Last Christmas

Page 173

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Hohoho. It's that time of the year again. I've always love this festive season. Even if I don't celebrate it. :) There's just something about the visuals of snow, presents, christmas lights and christmas trees that captivates me. 

I remembered last year.. I spent Christmas at work too. I was at a paed's ward at that time. There was this angry parent having a verbal fight with a doc. that mishandled his child. Man, I could never forget the way he spoke. Anyways.. I was going through such a difficult moment in that period of time. I was working with a broken heart. And no matter how dead I felt, I had no choice but to pull myself together  for work. Let me say this, it was super tough. But I managed.

Now flash forward 1 year, I'm still working. HAHA. Just in a diff setting. And less heartbroken of course. Today everyone was so joyous :) But I was so dead tired. ._. When am I ever not tired tho? LOL. Anyways, got through the day smoothly. The morning staffs were so happy and hyper about Xmas. Hahaha. I was so lonely in my shift though.. but whatever, got to speak to lots of patients and made friends with them. :)

Ah, it's nice to spread joy to others.

Last Christmas, I was torn apart inside.

Now, I'm standing taller than ever.
(Still short though ._.)

Once bitten, twice shy. 

Hope you guys had a good Christmas. 

(:

Love, Eran.

Tell me baby, can you recognise me?

Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me.

Current Song Mood: Glee - Last Christmas (Cover)

Last christmas 
I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) 
But the very next day you gave it away (gave it away) 
This year 
To save me from tears 
I'll give it to someone special (special) 

Once bitten and twice shy 
I keep my distance 
But you still catch my eye 
Tell me baby 
Do you recognize me? 
Well, it's been a year 
It doesn't surprise me (Happy Christmas, Christmas) 
I wrapped it up and sent it 
With a note saying "I love you" 
I meant it 
Now I know what a fool I've been 
But if you kissed me now 
I know you'd fool me again 

Last christmas 
I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) 
But the very next day you gave it away (gave it away) 
This year 
To save me from tears 
I'll give it to someone special (I'll give it someone special) 

Last christmas 
I gave you my heart 
But the very next day you gave it away 
This year 
To save me from tears (save me from tears) 
I'll give it to someone special (I'll give it someone special) 

Bum bum bum bum bum bum bum bum [x2]

A crowded room 
Friends with tired eyes 
I'm hiding from you 
And your soul of ice 
My god I thought you were 
Someone to rely on (someone to rely on). Me? 
I guess I was a shoulder to cry on 

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart 
A man under cover but you tore me apart (ooh ohh) 
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again 

Last christmas 
I gave you my heart (gave you my heart) 
But the very next day (very next day) you gave it away (you gave it away) 
This year 
To save me from tears 
I'll give it to someone special 

Last christmas 
I gave you my heart 
But the very next day you (you gave me away) gave it away 
This year 
To save me from tears 
I'll give it to someone special (special) 

Gave you my heart

Santa Tell Me

Page 172

Everyone's getting in the Christmas spirit today.

And I'm like.. meh. Just wanted work to end.

Had a smooth shift today. Cause someone wasn't around. *hintsarcasmhint* And I finally went back on time. For once. Not looking forward to tomorrow. Maybe I'll get to see Santa in carrying sacks in the dirty linen room at night.. LOL.

It's been super cold lately. How I wish Singapore would snow. I'd have an excuse to wear comfy sweaters/long-sleeves the whole day. I'd go out and roll in the snow. Make snow angels. Make snowmen. Make snowballs. Balls… ._. Hehe. Oops.

.

Anyways, just wanna wish everyone a Happy Holiday! Hohoho. And to those who are off tomorrow… You lucky bitches. _|_

._.

Bye.

Love, Eran.

Santa tell me, does he really care?

Current Song Mood: Ariana Grande - Santa Tell Me

Santa, tell me if you're really there
Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here
Next year
Feeling Christmas all around
And I'm tryna' play it cool
But it's hard to focus when I see him walking 'cross the room
"Let It Snow" is blasting out
But I won't get in the mood
I'm avoiding every mistletoe until I know
It's true love that he thinks of
So next Christmas
I'm not all alone, boy

Santa, tell me if you're really there
Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here
Next year

I've been down this road before
Fell in love on Christmas night
But on New Year's Day I woke up and he wasn't by my side
Now I need someone to hold
Be my fire in the cold
But it's hard to tell if this is just a fling
Or if it's true love that he thinks of
So next Christmas
I'm not all alone, boy

Santa, tell me if you're really there
Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here
Next year

Oh, I wanna have him beside me like oh-oh-oh
On the 25th by the fireplace, oh-oh-oh
But I don't want a new broken heart
This year I've got to be smart

Oh, baby
If ya won't be, if ya won't be here!

Santa, tell me if you're really there
Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here
Next year

Santa, tell me if you're really there
Don't make me fall in love again if he won't be here
Next year
Santa, tell me if he really cares
'Cause I can't give it all away if he won't be here
Next year

Say Nothing

Page 171

So tired.

Of everything,

…

I feel so lost.

I'm glad you seem fine now.

Go do things that will keep me off your mind.
I'll slowly disappear from your life.

Things are different now.

This will be the last.

I'm letting go.

I promise I'll do better.
I have so many things to say.

But for now.. 

I'll say nothing.

Love, Eran.

I'll say nothing at all.

Current Song Mood: Naomi Scott - Say Nothing

I'm staring at you, you're staring at me

So many things I'd like to say to you

But where's my courage gone? Where's it gone?

Did I leave it with my thoughts at home?

And I know it's stupid, but I can't play cupid

I'll wait another day

Next time I'll do better, I promise I gotta do better

I say and I'll mean it this time

And I can't find the words to say

So I will say nothing, say nothing at all

And it's hard when you're there, and I try

But I still just say nothing, say nothing at all

Scared I got it wrong, scared it's not true

Scared that you don't feel the same way as I do

If it wasn't for my pride, I'd probably jump right into you

And swim deep in your ocean

And I know it's stupid, but I can't play cupid

I'll wait another day

Next time I'll do better, I promise I gotta do better

I say and I'll mean it this time

And I can't find the words to say

So I will say nothing, say nothing at all

And it's hard when you're there, and I try

But I still just say nothing, say nothing at all

Time waste, slow pace

Why can't I let go?

Time waste, slow pace

Why can't I let go?

Time waste, slow pace

Why can't I let go?

Time waste, slow pace

Why can't I let go?

And I can't find the words to say

So I will say nothing, say nothing at all

And it's hard when you're there, and I try

But I still just say nothing, say nothing at all

Bang My Head

Page 170

It was a nice day out today :>

Finally got to meet up with my Makchicks.

Ecah backed out the last minute so it was only the 5 of us. We were soo happy to see each other again! Anyways we went to this cafe called Fix Cafe. Never been there before & it was such a good experience! :)

Cougar baeeee.

'Digging nose issit?' xD

Syah totally caught us red-handed xD

Looks good doesn't it?! Haha.

We digged in the good stuff while we took turns updating about each other's lives. While getting distracted all the time oaf course. LOL. And boy, I had so much to talk about xD It's nice to meet and catch-up with everyone. Just what I needed…

After dinner, we were all so full and decided to go off. Before that we took mandatory selfies. ;)

Ida and Nicki went off first. So it was left with me, Syah and Riri :> 

We totes got in our zone HAHA.

Divas haha!

Azan ke girl? LOL.

Love y'all. <3

We cabbed home and Syah told us more about her love life. It's okay babe. Let's just find ourselves for now and be happy in life.

(:

I've been feeling different lately.

Sad.

Inspired.

A little lonely.

But a sense of liberation at the same time.

I guess I was meant to be independent, on my own, after all…

Yeah.

At the end of the day…

I will rise above it all.

:)

Love, Eran.

Maybe I need to bang my head.

This is such a powerful anthem.

Current Song Mood: David Guetta Ft Sia - Bang My Head

 I was bound, was tied

Hadn't seen a light so long
Thought I lost my fight
Couldn't find my way back home
And I found the light stepping out of me
I was bound, and tied
Waiting for daylight
Bang my head against the wall
Though I feel light headed, now I know I will not fall
I will rise above it all
Found what I was searching for
Though I felt light headed
I should have failed, and nailed the floor
Instead I rose above it all

Oh, oh, oh
Bang my head against the wall
Oh, oh, oh
Instead I rose above it all
(Bang my head against the wall)

When you think you're giving up
Just know, you might think you're dying but you won't
And you feel the love stepping out of you
But when you think of giving up, don't

Bang your head against the wall
You may feel light headed, but you won't crawl, no, you won't fall
You will rise above it all
You'll find what you're searching for
And you may feel light headed
You think you're gonna hit the floor
Instead you rise above it all

Oh, oh, oh
Bang your head against the wall
Oh, oh, oh
Instead you rise above it all
(Bang my head against the wall)

I have broken wings
I keep trying, keep trying
No I won't give up
Oh I'm flying, oh I'm flying

Bang my head against the wall
Though I feel light headed, now I know I will not fall
I will rise above it all
Found what I was searching for
Though I feel light headed, I should have failed, and nailed the floor
Instead I rose above it all

Oh, oh, oh
Bang my head against the wall
Oh, oh, oh
Bang my head against the wall
Bang my head against the wall
Instead I rise above it all