You Are In Love

Page 199

Today was such a smooth day.

:)

Went to work with a smile.

Maybe it was because of yesterday.

Though our time together was short, I still enjoyed every moment of it.

It shows how much somebody can affect my mood, even when we're apart. 

Went to my hospital's book review. It was actually pretty fun! Haha. We got to sit down in a lecture and listen to people review about a book, and certain topics. Wouldn't mind going every week haha. Enjoyed the aircon :) Sat down with a staff that I really liked, and we chatted & caught up with each other. She was pretty open about what she's planning to do with her future, and she told me to keep it to myself as it wasn't something she wanted to tell everybody. For her to trust me, that was just really nice.

Work was alright. Some annoyance in the way, but not for long. I got a phone call from this girl who sounded really cute because she messed up the words she wanted to ask me. Haha. Cutie. We laughed for a bit till my staff took over. ._.

Oh and guys, my newest PSA clerk is really pretty. *swoon*

Okay that's all.

I feel so good. 

Maybe cause..

I'm in love.

Love, Eran.

Are you?

Current Song Mood: Taylor Swift - You Are In Love

One look, dark room
Meant just for you
Time moved too fast
You play it back
Buttons on a coat
Lighthearted joke
No proof, not much
But you saw enough
Small talk, he drives
Coffee at midnight
The light reflects
The chain on your neck
He says look up
And your shoulders brush
No proof, one touch
You felt enough
You can hear it in the silence, silence
You can feel it on the way home, way home
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You are in love, true love
You are in love
Morning, his place
Burn toast, Sunday
You keep his shirt
He keeps his word
And for once you let go
Of your fears and your ghosts
One step, not much
But it said enough
You kiss on sidewalks
You fight and you talk
One night he wakes
Strange look on his face
Pauses, then says
You're my best friend
And you knew what it was
He is in love
You can hear it in the silence, silence
You can feel it on the way home, way home
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You are in love, true love

And so it goes
You two are dancing in a snow globe round and round
And he keeps the picture of you in his office downtown
And you understand now why they lost their minds and fought the wars
And why I've spent my whole life trying to put it into words

'Cause you can hear it in the silence
You can feel it on the way home
You can see it with the lights out
You are in love, true love
You're in love

You can hear it in the silence, silence
You can feel it on the way home, way home
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You are in love, true love
You're in love

You can hear it in the silence, silence
You can feel it on the way home, way home
You can see it with the lights out, lights out
You are in love, true love
You're in love

One

Page 198

Things are finally right again.

Took the chance to meet up with you today, and it was like nothing ever happened.

It was like we didnt have any fight at all. Haha.

I guess it's better to just forget.

I guess, I just want to remember the good of us.

It was so nice to be in your presence again.

Being with you felt so right.

All the affections and laughs we had today..

All our silly moments..

 I treasure them so much.

I don't ever want us to go through that again.

So I'll just keep certain things to myself from now on..

I don't want to let my emotions take control of me.

I don't want to lose you at any point.

Cause right now, 

you're the only one.

<3 

Love, Eran.

Promise me you'll never leave again.

Current Song Mood: Ed Sheeran - One

Tell me that you turned down the man
Who asked for your hand
'Cause you're waiting for me
And I know, you're gonna be away a while
But I've got no plans at all to leave

And would you take away my hopes and dreams and just stay with me?

All my senses come to life
While I'm stumbling home as drunk as I
Have ever been and I'll never leave again
'Cause you are the only one
And all my friends have gone to find
Another place to let their hearts collide
[Regular version:] Just promise me, you'll never leave again
[Acoustic version:] Just promise me, you'll always be a friend
'Cause you are the only one

Take my hand and my
Heart and soul, I will
Only have these eyes for you
And you know, everything changes but
We'll be strangers if we see this through
You could stay within these walls and bleed
Or just stay with me
Oh lord, now

All my senses come to life
While I'm stumbling home as drunk as I
Have ever been and I'll never leave again
'Cause you are the only one
And all my friends have gone to find
Another place to let their hearts collide
Just promise me, you'll always be a friend
'Cause you are the only one

I'm stumbling off drunk, getting myself lost
I am so gone, so tell me the way home
I listen to sad songs, singing about love
And where it goes wrong
All my senses come to life
While I'm stumbling home as drunk as I
Have ever been and I'll never leave again
'Cause you are the only one
And all my friends have gone to find
Another place to let their hearts collide
Just promise me, you'll always be a friend
'Cause you are the only one

Mona Lisa

Page 197

Today was by far one of the most stressful working experience yet.

But I guess I won't emphasise so much on it.

I'm just glad it's over.

Went home and literally knocked out till like 10pm. 

That's how exhausted I was.

At this rate, I definitely have second thoughts about becoming an SN in the future.

Today there was a spark of hope.

Don't know if it will last though.

But I guess I shouldn't have to worry about it.

If you're not taking the effort, why should I?

But.. that's how relationships end, right?

That's how.. everything goes to waste.

Love, Eran.

You make me feel stuck.

You're not worried about me at all.

You're just trying to bust nuts.

Current Song Mood: Nicki Minaj - Mona Lisa

You make me, you make me, small
You make me

If you look at my
If you look at my love
You'll see
You'll see, I ain't worried about a he
See
I ain't worried about a he
I ain't worried about a he
I ain't never taking niggas, ain't worry bout me
If you look at my
If you look at my love
I ain't worried about a he
And he ain't worried bout me
Live of my love
Cause he ain't worried about me
Live of my love, me
I ain't never taking niggas, ain't worry bout me

You make me feel blue
You make me feel super
You make me feel super
Look at me
Me
He ain't worried about me
And I'll pick up dead leaves
He ain't worried about me
See
If it's you and me then it's you and me
Baby we don't worry about keys
You make me
Make me feel stuck
You don't give two fucks
He ain't worried bout me he just trying to bust nuts
Times up
All that bullshit lines up
All that talkin bout boy what you gonna do
Boy get ya mind up

If you look at my
If you look at my love
You'll see
You'll see, I ain't worried about a he
See
I ain't worried about a he
I ain't worried about a he
I ain't never taking niggas, ain't worry bout me
If you look at my
If you look at my love
I ain't worried about a he
And he ain't worried bout me
Live of my love
Cause he ain't worried about me
Live of my love, me
I ain't never taking niggas, ain't worry bout me

I don't wanna fight but, I'll fuck around and shoot you
I don't wanna fight but, you gave me no more trust
I will fuck around and end your life

If you look at my
If you look at my love
You'll see
You'll see, I ain't worried about a he
See
I ain't worried about a he
I ain't worried about a he
I ain't never taking niggas, ain't worry bout me
If you look at my
If you look at my love
I ain't worried about a he
And he ain't worried bout me
Live of my love
Cause he ain't worried about me
Live of my love, me
I ain't never taking niggas, ain't worry bout me

Buy A Heart

Page 196

I walked out of the hospital in a daze. 

My steps were slow. 

My heart was aching.

My mind was a blur.

The wind was strong.

Tears formed in my eyes but nothing came out.

Well it's done.

After that big fight last night, I don't feel like myself anymore.

I apologized in the morning.

You saw it but you didnt even bother to reply.

So what's left now?

Nothing.

The whole day I've been tortured in silence. 

And it seems like it will stay that way.

No point in breaking down.

I don't want this heart anymore.

I don't want to feel anything anymore.

This is too much for me..

...

Love, Eran.

I can't get you out of my mind.

Current Song Mood: Nicki Minaj Ft Meek Mill - Buy A Heart

[Verse 1 - Meek Mill:]
Anybody wanna buy a heart?
Anybody wanna buy a heart?
Anybody wanna buy a heart?
Cause I don't use the shit anyway
But okay, I guess it's my fault
Westside shorty, with an eastside nigga
They say it's levels to this shit, I'm a G5 nigga
And every city I be in, you know she fly with us
It's like Hov got Bey, it's like Bey got Jigga
Really though let me take y'all back
'09, double R drop top with the top down
Pulled up, double parked, hopped out, tried to spit my game
It didn't work, got shot down
But I can tell by the bag, by the wrist, by the ring on that
Somebody had it on lockdown
The moral of the story not to speak on that
She on the team, shorty mine now
And we don't ever ever ever make love
And we don't ever ever ever say "love"
Unless I'm all up in it, she tellin' me she love that D on that, I don't ever say uh
Bad bitch, ain't nothin' made up
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy
The heart from a real one from Philly reppin' that north side?

[Hook - Meek Mill & (Nicki Minaj):]
Anybody? Anybody?
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy a heart?
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy love?
(Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy a heart?
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy trust)
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy a heart?
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy love?
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy?
Anybody, anybody, anybody wanna buy love?

[Verse 2 - Nicki Minaj:]
Rahmeek, I'mma have to tell the truth if I speak
Unless you want to play, you ain't say this the other day
You said you was in love, and I still didn't budge
Cause I already seen how you be going in when you be in them clubs
(I'm not even sure if this is right but, it feels good)
I could tell you was analyzing me, I could tell you was criticizing me
I could tell you was fantasizing that you would come slide in me and confide in me
He could tell that I was wifey material
He was liking my style in my videos
I wasn't looking for love I was looking for a buzz
So at times I would lie and say I'm busy, yo
Cause its too much, and its too clutch
Who wants rumors of the two of us
But when you're away I can't get you out of my mind
But what if I met the one and your wasting your time
But you waited
[Hook]

[Outro - Nicki Minaj:]
Its a heart for sale who's buying
I don't care who's crying
Its trust for sale who's buying
I don't care who's lying

I'm A Mess

Page 195

I'm a mess.

What a horrible day to go through.

Silence is all I get from you.

And it's helping me confirm my worst fears.

Where do I stand in your life?

Never once have you mentioned how you feel about me.

How can I go on like this?

And now when I've said all that I've needed to, silence is all you give me. 

Really?

I'm so hurt.

What am I to you?

Do you know how hard it is to work when your heart is all troubled?

Surprisingly it kept my mind off of you for a while.

But now that I'm done with it, you're back on my mind.

What went wrong?

What do I do now?

What do I say?

I'm so lost.

And hurt.

</3

Love, Eran.

I feel so fucking messed up right now.

:(

Current Song Mood: Ed Sheeran - I'm A Mess

Oh, I'm a mess right now
Inside out
Searching for a sweet surrender
But this is not the end

I can't work it out
How going through the motions
Going through us

And, oh, I've known it for the longest time
And all of my hopes
All of my words
Are all over written on the signs
When you're on my road
Walking me home, home, home, home, home

See the flames inside my eyes
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love, no
Easy baby maybe I'm a liar
But for tonight I wanna fall in love
And put your faith in my stomach

I messed up this time
Late last night
Drinking to suppress devotion
With fingers intertwined

I can't shake this feeling now
We're going through the motions
Hoping you'd stop

And though I've only caused you pain,
You know but all of my words will always be low
Although all the lies we spoke
When you're on my road
Walking me home, home, home, home, home

See the flames inside my eyes
It burns so bright I wanna feel your love, no
Easy baby maybe I'm a liar
But for tonight I wanna fall in love
And put your faith in my stomach

And for how long I love my lover
For how long I love my lover
And now, now, for how long, long I love my lover
Now, now, for how long, long I love my lover

Now now, for how long, long I love my lover (and I feel loved)
For how long, long I love my lover
I feel it all over now, now and I feel loved
For how long, long I love my lover
Feel it all over now, now, and I feel loved
For how long, long I love my lover
Now, now, for how long, long I love my lover
Feel it all over now
For how long I love my lover
Now now
For how long, long I love my lover

Only Human

Page 194

It was a smooth day. 

Decided that since I ended early, I'd wait for GF at her ward pantry.

I was sitting down on the foldable chair, at the corner. Then this lady in hijab came up to me. I've never seen her uniform before. Was she a doctor? I don't know.

'Excuse me, sorry. I need this space. I'm gonna pray.' :) she said.

I got up and said that it's fine.

And she immediately offered to move my seat. 

Haha, I said it was alright, and I moved it myself. 

She then sat down and started doing her prayers.

That was.. pretty bold.

Much respect for her. :)

In the meantime.. I waited for more than an hour. ._.

Was gonna give up lol.

Then Ida came in, and she was surprised to see me.

We talked for a bit and she complained about her staff. Hahaha.

She then had to go, and I waited some more. ._.
I'm so sweet kan? HAHA.

And then.. Gf came in.

She literally gave a loud cry of joy LOL.

She excitedly came over and hugged me.

'Omg. I feel like it's my birthday!' 

LOLOL.

We decided to go get Ramly Burger together :D

We walked and talked about our work life.

And we started making bitchy remarks about this worker who walked passed us lmao.

We walked through the park, and Gf was like.. in her diva mode. ._.

Guuuuuurl.

We excitedly walked to the pasar malam, and scanned for our burger stall :D There was a long queue though, so we walked around first. There was so much weird stuff tbh .-. Anyways we came back and the line was muuuch lesser. Bought our beloved burgers :3

We then went to a bench a few blocks away where we sat down and ate.

SO. YUMMY.

Look at her steamed face. ._.

I rested my head on the bench. My gaze was towards the sky. Saw the pretty clouds slowly passing by. I closed my eyes. The wind was brushing gently against me. I was at peace. 

''LETS GOOOOOOOO.''

._. Hais spoiler.

It was a short meet up. But it was worth it.
:)
<3

Love, Eran.

Dont hurt yourself Syah.

You're only human.

Current Song Mood: Cheryl Cole - Only Human

I've been holding out for some silver in the clouds
It just gets dark, it just gets hard to see
Well, you told me go for broke
You go first, I'll hold the rope
And make your way down to solid ground with me
You are the universe
Do you see it, do you feel it hurt
Only energy
Stressing over what we're worth
It's only love
It's only dust
Making up the two of us
And we all fall down
You're only human
You're only human

When your words stuck in your throat
Find a love through a telescope
Yeah the view below
It gives me vertigo
So just keep your fingers crossed
Sign your love, can't sing your lost
Until you love so loud, if you listen
You could hear it shout

You are the universe
Do you see it, do you feel it hurt
Only energy
Stressing over what we're worth
It's only love
It's only dust
Making up the two of us
And we all fall down
You're only human
You're only human

I get out of the boxes I'm living in
I get out of this sin that I'm swimming in
Break it down, spit it out
Won't drown, won't drag me down
I get out of the boxes I'm living in
I get out of this sin that I'm swimming in
Break it down, spit it out
Don't burn it, the color burst

You are the universe
Do you see it, do you feel it hurt
Only energy
Stressing over what we're worth
It's only love
It's only dust
Making up the two of us
And we all fall down
You're only human
You're only human

Home

Page 193

Home.

Stayed home the whole day today.

How bored I was.

But someone had plans, so I was planless.

Came across something on an app that made me feel… annoyed. Jealous, even.

But whatever. Wont think so much about it. I have no reason to be mad. If I do, I'll be selfish.

Home.

We were both addicted to this song when we watched Glee at your place.

Home, is whenever I'm with you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Glee - Home (Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Heroes Cover)

Rachel (Alumni and New Directions)
(Hey) Alabama, Arkansas
I do love my Ma and Pa
Not the way that I do love you
Kurt (Alumni and New Directions)
(Hey) Well, holy moly, me, oh, my
You're the apple of my eye
Girl, I've never loved one like you

Santana (Alumni and New Directions)
(Ho) Man, oh, man, you're my best friend
I'll scream it to the nothingness
(with Brittany: There ain't nothing that I need)

Artie with Tina (Alumni and New Directions)
(Ho) Well, hot and heavy pumpkin pie
Chocolate candy, my, oh, my

Puck with Quinn
There ain't nothing please me more than you

Tina with Puck, Alumni, and New Directions
(Alumni and New Directions)
Oh Home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Oh Home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Alumni and New Directions
Ho, ho, ho, ho

Santana with Puck
La, la, la, la
Take me home
(Santana: Daddy) (Puck: Momma)
I'm coming home

Mason (Alumni and New Directions)
(Hey) I'll follow you into the park
Through the jungle, through the dark
Girl, I've never loved one like you

Madison (Alumni and New Directions)
(Hey) Moats and boats and waterfalls
Alleyways and payphone calls
I've been everywhere with you (Mason: Hey, that's true)

Spencer (Alumni and New Directions)
(Hey) Laugh until we think (with Santana: we'll die)
Barefoot on a (with Santana: summer night)
Never could be sweeter than with you
Madison (Alumni and New Directions)
(Hey) And in the streets we runnin free
Like it's only,

Madison with Mason
(Madison: Only) You and me
Geez, you're something to see
Santana with Puck, Alumni and New Directions
(Alumni and New Directions)
Oh Home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Oh Home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you

Alumni and New Directions
Hey, hey

Santana with Tina, Alumni, and New Directions
Home, let me come home
Home is wherever I'm with you
Home, let me come home
Home is when I'm alone with you

Santana with Kurt, Rachel, Alumni, and New Directions
Alabama, Arkansas
I do love my Ma and Pa
Moats and boats and waterfalls

Rachel and Santana with Alumni and New Directions
Home is whenever I'm with you