Slow Motion

 Page 1436 

Been a while since I had a 'long' weekend.

So caught up with work these days.

That I forget to take it easy.

And not overwork myself.

It's a bad habit.

To help everyone.

When really, you should be focusing on yourself first.

Oh well.

We get by.

Even if it's in slow motion.

Time is everything.

Life is short.

Time to take it easy.

And enjoy while I can.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lindsey Lomis Ft JoJo - Slow Motion

{Verse 1: Lindsey Lomis}
I know it’s been a long day
Just sit down and tell it to me
I hope you don’t take this the wrong way
You’re faking your feelings to put a smile on their faces
How’s that working for you, babe?

{Pre-Chorus 1: Lindsey Lomis}
Yeah watching the clock is a waste of time
You got all that you need if you’re living right
Oh it’s been a long day
So count up all your problems then just make 'em wait

{Chorus: Lindsey Lomis}
Oh oh oh oh oh
It’s something strange
Oh oh oh oh oh
The thrill of the chase
Let’s play it in slow motion
Forget the week days
Count up all your problems then just make 'em wait
Slow motion

{Verse 2: JoJo}
Let’s get out of this house and take a long drive
I don’t know where we’re going but it feels right
And we’ll keep talking until midnight, watch the sunrise
All that matters is that we’re alive
Got a smile on your face, how’s that feeling for you, babe?

{Pre-Chorus 2: JoJo}
Watching the clock is a waste of time
You got all that you need if you’re living right
Oh it’s gonna be a good day, yeah yeah
Count up all your problems then just make 'em wait

{Chorus: Lindsey Lomis and JoJo}
Oh oh oh oh oh
It’s something strange
Oh oh oh oh oh
The thrill of the chase
Let’s play it in slow motion
Forget the week days
Count up all your problems then just make 'em wait
Slow motion

{Outro: Lindsey Lomis and JoJo}
I know they got you in a bad way
Just sit down and tell it to me
I just wanna listen, babe
Slow it down for a minute
Down, down, down, down
Down, down, down 

Make Me An Offer I Cannot Refuse

 Page 1435

I don't feel happy here anymore.

Somehow my instincts have been telling me that from the start.

Ever since the new company took over this month, it is feeling too different.

There are just way too many things that don't.. *click*.

A colleague told me; 'Our Workload is increasing but our allowances are getting lesser.'

And it sadly made sense.

I just got here and I don't see myself moving any time soon.

But is it really worth my happiness?

Life is so short.

So many 'what ifs'.

Who knows...

Where the next few months will lead. 

Make me an offer I cannot refuse.

And just maybe.. it'll be worth my time. 

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Sufjan Stevens - Make Me An Offer I Cannot Refuse

Move me
Move like the waters I cannot drink
I have lost my patience
Make me an offer I cannot refuse

Move through to me
Show me the face of all of my dreams
Was it all for nothing?
Make me an offer I cannot refuse

Move through to me
Move like the ghost of a hazardous demon
Was it all forgiven?
Make me an offer I cannot refuse

Move like a centipede
Foolish as I am, follow my lead
I have lost my preference
Make me an offer I cannot refuse

Move through to me
Show me the face of the radical dream
There's no time for innocence
Make me an offer I cannot refuse

Shall you refuse me?
Show me the face of the radical dream
There's no time for severance
Make me an offer I cannot refuse

Shall you abuse me?
Show me the grace of a natural king
Lord, I need deliverance
Make me an offer I cannot refuse

Make me an offer I cannot refuse
Make me an offer I cannot refuse
Make me an offer I cannot ref-

Please Fasten Your Seatbelt

 Page 1434

How weird is it.

That whenever I hear someone passing on,

I find out that there are 2 or 3 others that passed as well.

It is like a chain impact.

Like we expire with others around the same time.

I still think of my near-death experience till today.

How bad it could've been.

And how thankful I am to still be here.

Maybe that's what sparked a change in my lifestyle.

I still get in a daze about it.

And that's okay.

I am learning to shake it off, and embrace it.

In case anyone tells you otherwise.

Please fasten your seatbelt.

You just never know.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lido Ft Brandon Arreaga - Please Fasten Your Seatbelt

Oh, ooh, no, ah

Tape my mast and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I
Break my fast and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I
Shake my past and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I
Lose my cast and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I

Stepped into my shoes and never looked backwards
'Cause I'm searching for the root note to my chord
I set a table for two inside of my spaceship
We can decide how we mind our stay, woah, woah

Look at all these Jay's I'm pulling my weight
Still feel the same, the same, same
Every time I walk through that door, never seem to find the floor
You know where to go, find me in your dreams, woah

Tape my mast and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I
Break my fast and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I
Shake my past and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I
Lose my cast and go
You're the only one, feels like you're the only one, so do I

Feel Good

 Page 1433

Another Monday off.

And spent on my own this time.

It feels good, to take the day at my own pace.

Even though I wasn't feeling it, I finished all that I had to do.

Gym, Cooking up healthy food, and just lazing the day away. 

Catching up with shows.

One of them was the latest Digimon movie.

If anyone would like to know, I grew up being big fan of this franchise.

So seeing all these new movies, catered to adults such as myself..

It made me feel nostalgic and sad.

Especially the main message that was carried out throughout the movie.

Growing up, and moving on.

💔

I guess we all have to someday.

Nothing lasts forever.

So much things to do.

Yet so little time.

Let's just.. try.

And live.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: SAYGRACE - Feel Good

You look so deep on the surface
So I let you get away with murder, baby
I was so sure I could save you
But now I can't remember why I tried to

Not the little kid that you used to know
Not the little girl whose hope you broke
Betcha told people it was all my fault
Saying "that Grace, she emotional"
All of my friends say I told you so
All of that pain situational
Told me that without you I'd fall apart
So I took all your words, put 'em into art

Wonder, wonder, wonder if you always knew
I'd be better dundadundadundadundadun with you

You look so deep on the surface
So I let you get away with murder, baby
I was so sure I could save you
But now I can't remember why I tried to

'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel good
'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel like you used to
You don't make me
You don't make me feel good
'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel like you used to

Took a long time to get comfortable
Still learned to stand up tall on my own
Loosen that grip, girl, deal with it
Gotta handle that real world grownup shit
Go solo
I know that you're scared you don't know
The when or the where to go, go
All that you know is to yell goodbye

You look so deep on the surface
So I let you get away with murder, baby
I was so sure I could save you
But now I can't remember why I tried to

'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel good
'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel like you used to
You don't make me
You don't make me feel good
'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel like you used to

Not the little kid that you used to know
Not the little girl whose hope you broke
Told me that without you I'd fall apart
So I took all your words, put 'em into art

Wonder, wonder, wonder if you always knew
I'd be better dundadundadundadundadun with you

'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel good
'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel like you used to
You don't make me
You don't make me feel good
'Cause you don't make me
You don't make me feel like you used to
You don't make me feel like you used to
You don't make me feel like you used to

The Change

 Page 1432

This year was a constant need to improve my lifestyle.

I am trying to make a change.

In myself.

It is a constant battle.

I am tired of how others are always viewing me.

I am tired of criticising myself in the mirror.

It's the same reason why I rarely take pictures or selfies nowadays.

The reason why I am reluctant to meet up with friends & relatives.

The reason why I try to steer from social media.

Because they'd always judge me from how I look.

It's just me, here.

Trying to make a difference in my life.

And it begins with me.

So that I can be a better version of myself.

And I hope, that THAT, is good enough.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - The Change 

I'm not gonna blame, put the blame, on nobody
Oh it's gonna get me, it's get me nowhere
I just gotta look, gonna look in the mirror
And start there

I'm gonna be the change
I'm gonna start with my heart
I'm gonna be the light, be that light, my own light
That lights my way through the dark
I'm gonna see that day, changes gonna find me
But it's up to me, up to me, all on me
To make the change inside me
So I'm gonna be the change, change, change
I'm gonna be the change, change, change
I'm gonna be the change, change, change

I'm not gonna make, gonna make no excuses
I'm not gonna waste no more time being blind
'Cause there ain't no world, ain't now world that I am changing
If I don't change mine

I'm gonna stand a little taller
Hold my head a little higher
Raise my voice a little louder
It's time

I'm gonna be the change
I'm gonna start with my heart
I'm gonna be the light, be that light, my own light
That lights my way through the dark
I'm gonna see that day, changes gonna find me
But it's up to me, up to me, all on me
To make that change inside me
I'm gonna be the change (Change, ooh)

I can feel the firs starting, nothing gonna put it out
It's like the moments waiting for me
And it's right now

I'm gonna be the change
Gonna start with my heart
Gonna be the light, be that light, my own light
That lights my way through the dark
I'm gonna see that day, changes gonna find me
But it's up to me, up to me, all on me
To make that change inside me
I'm gonna be the change, change, change
I'm gonna be the change, change, change
I'm gonna be the change, change, change
Ooh

I'm gonna be the change, change, change
I'm gonna be the change, change, change

Still Have Me

 Page 1431

October.

Please be good.

Last month has been nothing but traumatic.

I am trying my best to put all of that behind me.

And move forward.

It will be okay.

I'm still here.

Still breathing.

Still healing.

Still getting back on my feet.

I don't have much but,

I still have me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Demi Lovato - Still Have Me

I'm a mess and I'm still broken
But I'm finding my way back
And it feels like someone's stolen
All the light I ever had

Like the world disappeared
And I'm laying right here
While the silence is piercing
And it hurts to breathe

I don't have much but at least I still have me
I still have me
And that's all I need
So take my faith but at least I still believe
I still believe
And that's all I need
I don't have much but at least I still have me

Everything around me shattered
All the highs are now just lows
But it doesn't even matter
'Cause I'd rather be alone

All my love disappeared
And I'm laying right here
While the silence is piercing
And it hurts to breathe

I don't have much but at least I still have me
I still have me
And that's all I need
So take my faith but at least I still believe
I still believe
And that's all I need
I don't have much but at least I still have me

I don't have much but at least I still have me
I still have me
And that's all I need (That's all I need)
So take my faith but at least I still believe
I still believe
And that's all I need (That's all I need)
I don't have much but at least I still have me

MODUS

 Page 1430

I am feeling better each day.

Slowly.

Part of me is still... scared.

Of the past.

Of the future.

& that is not within my control.

But right now, I am here.

I am present.

And that's all that matters. 

Currently spending my Monday morning with my partner.

At Starbucks.

Just chilling & doing work.

Having tea and cheesecake.

And appreciating all the little things.

This is.. nice.

I could get used to this.

❤️

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Joji - Modus 

Speed it up, slow it down
I need control, I need it now
I need to live a thousand times
I cannot stop, I cannot cry
I will not fret, I will not die
I am a machine, I stay alive
Sometimes I think, sometimes I think
Sometimes I think, sometimes I- oh
I've got no aim, a million rounds, it's nothing real
A hundred pounds of heavy steel, it feels so loud
Tied to my chest, it feels so loud
I'll take a peek to across the peaks
The grass is neat, I'm quite unique
But I'd like to be, but I'd like to be

And I hope this is the hardest part
We try, we try
And when they say they're satisfied
They're lying, they're lying
Do forgive me, I've seen the treasure's in the bloom
But right now I'm just not strong enough for you

Sorry, you can see it in my retina
Focus in and out, I'm doing better
Artificial ghost with no perception
I wanna be a Chevy, not a Sentra
I don't feel the way they programmed me to feel today
Some pieces falling from the waist up
I'm so sorry for delays
I just need one moment to erase that burning pain before the rage
I feel good, I feel good, I feel good

And I hope this is the hardest part
We try, we try
And when they say they're satisfied
They're lying, they're lying
Do forgive me, I've seen the treasure's in the bloom
But right now I'm just not strong enough for you
And I hope this is the hardest part
We try, we try
And when they say they're satisfied
They're lying, they're lying
Do forgive me, I've seen the treasure's in the bloom
But right now I'm just not strong enough for you