Then

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I was out with my family.

But there was just something about today...

That got me so down.

We were going down the escalator.

And I saw the flower shop.

I dazed as the visions came back.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

'I don't know A... Should I? Is it worth the effort?'

'Just go for it. I can help out.'

I knew what I wanted to make. I had envisioned it in my head. It had to be something... special.

Me and my close friend went grocery shopping after lunch.

I grabbed the basket. And realised the handle was broken.

'UGH FML A. WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME. WHY IS MY LIFE SO DEPRESSIVE.' I whined. We both burst out laughing. It was true. Both of us always mess things up. I guess that's why we're both good friends.

'Hmm. Should I make from scratch?'

'Oo. There's pre-made one here'.

'F*ck it, I'll get that. That bitch aint worth the effort.' We both laughed hysterically again.

I headed home with the shopping bags. And on my way, I got a text from my brother.

'Are you going to Uncle's house?'

Huh? For what?

'Mum didnt tell you? He passed away today.'

I froze.

All these plans... What was I going to do about it? Was I going to cancel tomorrow again?

I thought long and hard...

Sigh.

I decided.. to go ahead with my plans. There were not loose ends anyway. I've already said what I wanted to him.

'You go ahead. I'm.. busy tonight.'

That night, I FaceTimed A again and he guided me through the steps. I wanted to tell him what was going on.. But I guess it was inappropriate. I didnt want to... feel guilty. That night I baked the cookies. And put them nicely in a container. I took a pen and note. And poured my heart out. Everything I wanted to say. Everything I felt. In the gentlest way possible. I sealed it nicely. And waited for tomorrow.

The next day came. I was getting ready. And he texted me.

'Did you send me flowers?'

....

I didnt know what to say.

Had someone already beat me to it? Was someone... wooing him as well? Then what was all this for? Was it worth it? A million thoughts flooded my brain.

'No'

'Oh you sure?.... then I guess I have a rough idea who its from'

I didnt bother probing.

I quietly proceeded with my journey. Waited outside his workplace. And he finally came out. Clearing drinks and we casually chatted. We finally proceeded to the smoking corner for his smoke break.

'Guess what it is. I won't give it to you until you get it right.'

He smiled.

Uhh. That container reminds me of CNY goodies.

'LOL NOPE.'

*tries to peek*

'NO PEEKING!'

'Ok...'

'Is it chocolate?'

'Yep.'

'Umm.... Hmm. '

*attempts several times*

'Cookies?'

'YES! Finally.' I passed it over. 

He tried to smell it. 'Oh wait my nose is blocked.'

He sniffed again.

'Oh that smells nice.'

'Can I read the letter?'

'Omg No.'

'Why.' He smiled cheekily, trying to open it.

'Are you the type that will run away if I do?

'Nah.'

'Orh okay..'  he puts it away.

We sat down for half and hour.

Talking about his day.

About his new tattooed thigh. - which I really admired.

About his presents.

About the... flowers... Which I was still disheartened about.

I even delayed my meet-up with my friends.

Just so I could spend more time with him.

Because I was just so lost in this... In us.

I wanted to give him more than a hug when I left.

But I guess there was never more.

He told me he loved the cookies.

But he'd never responded to the letter.

I guess, that was that.

And that was.. then.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Anne-Marie - Then

We had it good, you know
I spent like six years
Making sure you came home to love
You had it good, you know

I stood by your side
I spent up so much time
Try to make you happy
I don't think you ever could be happy

Maybe you should try some therapy
Maybe you should lose a couple of homeboys, skip upon a homegrown
Look at me
Cause I need you to understand

Now when you think of late nights
And me there, in your bed,
True, ride or die that's what you had
I loved you, I loved you, I loved you

And when you think of my body on yours
Don't forget, once I would have died for you, baby
I loved you, I loved you, I loved you
But that was then
But that was then

You don't know shit, you know
You act this big man and
You think you are in control
But you don't know shit, you know

I stood by your side
And pulled you away from your fire
Again and again and again
I should have known fire would win

Maybe you should try some therapy
Maybe you should lose a couple of homeboys, skip upon a homegrown
Look at me
Cause I need you to understand

Now when you think of late nights
And me there, in your bed,
True ride or die that's what you had
I loved you, I loved you, I loved you

And when you think of my body on yours
Don't forget, once I would have died for you, baby
I loved you, I loved you, I loved you
But that was then
But that was then

[2x]
You gonna miss me
You really gonna miss me
You gonna miss me
You gonna miss me
You gonna miss me
You really gonna miss me

Now when you think of late nights
And me there, in your bed,
True, ride or die that's what you had
I loved you, I loved you, I loved you

And when you think of my body on yours
Don't forget, once I would have died for you, baby
I loved you, I loved you, I loved you
But that was then
But that was then