Shallow

Page 1135

God's timing is perfect.

I've realised that now.

The individuals I came across today...

Put a change in me.

I had a good pep talk from a stranger.

And I was so... amazed at how things turned out.

An evening out with my close friends...

Ones I hold so so dearly close to my heart.

 Tears. Laugher. Fun.

I hadn't smiled or laughed this hard in ages.

I finally know now..

What's meant to be will be.

And I leave it in His hands.

I'm at the deep end.

I'm far from the shallow now.

And I'm gonna fight on. 

With or without you.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lady Gaga, Bradley Cooper - Shallow

[Bradley Cooper:]
Tell me somethin' girl
Are you happy in this modern world?
Or do you need more?
Is there somethin' else you're searchin' for?

I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself longin' for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

[Lady Gaga:]
Tell me something boy
Aren't you tired tryin' to fill that void?
Or do you need more?
Ain't it hard keeping it so hardcore?

I'm falling
In all the good times I find myself longing for change
And in the bad times I fear myself

I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now

[Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper:]
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now

[Lady Gaga:]
Wooaaaah
Woaaaaaaaaaaah

I'm off the deep end, watch as I dive in
I'll never meet the ground
Crash through the surface, where they can't hurt us
We're far from the shallow now

[Lady Gaga & Bradley Cooper:]
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
In the shallow, shallow
We're far from the shallow now

Mission Control

Page 1134

Another day well spent with family and friends.

A mission control.

Well played.

Surprisingly my days have been very.. occupied.

More occupied than expected.

And I guess that's a good thing.

It keeps the demons away.

It keeps my mind...

Occupied.

And I guess that's all I need right now.

Indeed.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Knox Hamilton - Mission Control

I never made it
But I know what it takes
I'm motivated by your mixed up emotions
Got my statement and I'm reading you slow
So I can understand it fully, appreciate my standing though
Out of this world and right on time

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh never in my life have I seen the sky light up like this
I'm far away from Earth and I want to know if you exist

[Chorus]
Mission Control, do you read me?
Send me my coordinates lately
Mission Control, am I drifting?
Tie me to someone who will love me

[Verse 2]
Wait, I think I'll have to be longer
Find another reason to breathe this air
And now we made for ourselves
This won't be the last time

[Pre-Chorus]
Oh never in my life have I seen the sky light up like this
I'm far away from Earth and I want to know if you exist

[Chorus]
Mission Control, do you read me?
Send me my coordinates lately
Mission Control, am I drifting?
Tie me to someone who will love me

I knew it when I met you
I'm not the only one who's alone
Find me soon and take me home
I knew it when I saw you
I'm not the only one hanging on
Tie me to someone who will love me

[Bridge]
Oh never in my life did I want to see you more than this
And every time you're lost, I wonder if you know you're missed?
I'm reading what I can and I really hope you're watching this
I hope you know that I exist

[Chorus]
Mission Control, do you read me?
Send me my coordinates lately
Mission Control, am I drifting?
Tie me to someone who will love me

I knew it when I met you
I'm not the only one who's alone
Find me soon and take me home
I knew it when I saw you
I'm not the only one hanging on
Tie me to someone who will love me

[Outro]
Someone to beam me up
Someone to find my love
Someone to beam me up
Someone to find my love
Someone to beam me up
Someone to find my love

Location Unknown

Page 1133

Just another day passing by.

I'm just... taking it day by day.

As that day is getting nearer...

And me.. still trying to figure things out for myself.

On my own.

Are you really gonna remain silent?

Yeah... I thought so.

With your location unknown.

Maybe I'm hoping... 

That one day.. 

You'd come back to me.

..

I'm not even sure..

If I even want that, anymore.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: HONNE Ft Georgia - Location Unknown

Driving in places I haven't seen you in ages

But I hope you come back to me
My mind's running out with you faraway
I still think of you a hundred times a day

I still think of you too if only you knew when I'm feeling a bit down I know wanna pull through
I look over to your photograph and I think how much I miss you, I miss you
I wish I knew what I was 'cause I don't have a clue
I just need to work out some way of getting me to you
'Cause I will never find a love like ours out here in a million years, in a million years

My location unknown tryna find my way back home to you again
Gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you
My location unknown tryna find my way back home to you again
Gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you

I just need to know that you're safe, given that I'm miles away
On the first flight back to your side
I don't care how long it takes, I know you'll be worth the wait
On the first flight back to your side

Driving in places I haven't seen you in ages but
I hope you come back to me
My mind's running out with you faraway
I still think of you a hundred times a day

I still think of you too if only you knew
I just need to work out some way of getting me to you
'Cause I will never find a love like ours out here in a million years, a million years

My location unknown tryna find my way back home to you again
Gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you
My location unknown tryna find my way back home to you again
Gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you

I just need to know that you're safe, given that I'm miles away
On the first flight back to your side
I don't care how long it takes, I know you'll be worth the wait
On the first flight back to your side

I don't want to be wasting time without you
Don't want to throw away my life I need you
Something tells me we'll be alright
Something tells me we'll be alright alright
I don't want to be wasting time without you
Don't want to throw away my life I need you
Something tells me we'll be alright
Something tells me we'll be alright alright

My location unknown tryna find my way back home to you again
Gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you
My location unknown tryna find my way back home to you again
Gotta get back to you gotta gotta get back to you

I just need to know that you're safe, given that I'm miles away
On the first flight back to your side
I don't care how long it takes, I know you'll be worth the wait
On the first flight back to your side

I wish I'd known, location unknown
My location unknown my location unknown, unknown

Successful

Page 1132

Over the moon.

To see my acting debut tonight.

Shared on multiple screens.

Alongside all these talented people.

And all the people that came over to me.

Especially my loved ones.

Giving me warm hugs and support.

Thank you so so much.

I hope it becomes successful.

I hope.. it goes a long way.

I hope.. you see it one day.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Ariana Grande - Successful

I just got some real good news from work, boy (It's a surprise, surprise)
You can't imagine what I'm 'bout to say (It's a surprise, surprise)
It's so hard to hold back, baby (It's a surprise, surprise)
I'm so excited, I can hardly wait (It's a surprise, surprise)
Listen, bae

Tonight, I'm a baller, babe (Tonight, I'm a baller, baby)
Even way beneath in, yeah (Even way beneath me)
What else is there to say, boy? (What else is there to say, boy?)
Say, bae, you should play with me, babe

Yeah, it feels so good to be so young
And have this fun and be successful
I'm so successful, yeah
And, girl, you too, you are so young
And beautiful and so successful, woah, yeah
I'm so successful

This ain't nothing ordinary for me (It's a surprise, surprise)
We ain't goin' to your favorite place (It's a surprise, surprise, yeah, yeah)
You keep asking, "What is so special?" (It's a surprise, surprise)
You really wanna know? You'll have to wait (It's a surprise, surprise)

Tonight, I'm a baller, babe (Tonight, I'm a baller, baby)
Even way beneath in, yeah (Even way beneath me)
What else is there to say, boy? (What else is there to say, boy?)
Say, bae, you should play with me, babe

Yeah, it feels so good to be so young
And have this fun and be successful (I, I, I)
I'm so successful
And, girl, you too, you are so young
And beautiful and so successful, woah yeah
I'm so successful, yeah, yeah

Let me put my hands over your eyes
(It's a surprise, surprise, it's a surpise, surprise)
Boy, are you ready for your surprise?
(It's a surprise, surprise, it's a surprise, surprise)
Mmm ah, oh, I'ma give it to ya (Mhm)
Mmm ah, oh, I'ma give it to ya (Oh, yeah)
Do you like it, babe? (Do you like it babe?)
Does it give you chills? (Does it give you chills?)
Does it make you feel cold? (Does it make you feel?)

Oh, oh, oh, woah
Tonight, I'm a baller, babe (Tonight, I'm a baller, baby)
Even way beneath in, yeah (Even way beneath me)
What else is there to say, boy? (What else is there to say, boy?)
Say, bae, you should play with me, babe

Yeah, it feels so good to be so young
And have this fun and be successful
I'm so successful, yeah
And, girl, you too, you are so young
And beautiful and so successful, yeah
I'm so successful, yeah, yeah

Always Remember Us This Way

Page 1131

Tragic.

That was all I could think of.

As I finally caught 'A Star Is Born' today.

Something I've... always wanted to catch with you.

I ended up catching it with my bestie after all.

And I felt every single bit of emotion.

Tragic... the way it ended.

As Lady Gaga belted all her emotions in the last song.

As my bestie cried and I got teary-eyed.

Damn. What a moment. 

Thank you Bestie. 

This movie was really important to me.

Thanks for always being there for me.

I'll ... always remember us this way.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lady Gaga - Always Remember Us This Way

That Arizona sky burning in your eyes
You look at me and, babe, I wanna catch on fire
It's buried in my soul like California gold
You found the light in me that I couldn't find

So when I'm all choked up
And I can't find the words
Every time we say goodbye
Baby, it hurts
When the sun goes down
And the band won't play
I'll always remember us this way

Lovers in the night
Poets trying to write
We don't know how to rhyme
But damn we try
But all I really know
You're where I wanna go
The part of me that's you will never die

So when I'm all choked up
But I can't find the words
Every time we say goodbye
Baby, it hurts
When the sun goes down
And the band won't play
I'll always remember us this way

Oh, yeah
I don't wanna be just a memory, baby, yeah

When I'm all choked up
But I can't find the words
Every time we say goodbye
Baby, it hurts
When the sun goes down
And the band won't play
I'll always remember us this way, oh, yeah

When you look at me
And the whole world fades
I'll always remember us this way

I Have Questions // Crying In The Club

Page 1130

I should be happy in all ways.

Because I deserve to.

But part of me is still... longin'..

For you.

For answers.

I.. have questions.

That I probably won't have the answers to.

Today was another day out doing the things that I've always wanted to do with you.

But it wasnt.. with you.

It wasnt and it felt.. weird. Strangely.. nostalgic.

Being in Tampines again.

Walking through H&M again.

As flashbacks of our presence last month replayed.

The way we teased each other in the store.

The way you surprised me with a kiss.

Passing by the mirror that we took our Boomerang in.

That... fucking bittersweet moment.

It pained me.

Every moment of it.

But I had to move along.

I had to ignore it.

I had to... forget about it.

Pretend.. that it never happened.

So so fucking painful.

But... no.

I'm not gonna be crying in the club.

I've ben building myself up again.

I've been recovering.

Writing.

Singing.

Finding myself again.

If it's fated to not be with you..

Then there's really nothing I can do about it.

Let nature.. take its course.

I.. won't fight it anymore.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Camila Cabello - I Have Questions // Crying In The Club

Why did you leave me here to burn?
I'm way too young to be this hurt
I feel doomed in hotel rooms
Staring straight up at the wall
Counting wounds and I am tryin' to numb them all

Do you care, do you care?
Why don't you care?
I gave you all of me
My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears
Why don't you care, why don't you care?
I was there, I was there, when no one was
Now you're gone and I'm here

I have questions for you
Number one, tell me who you think you are?
You've got some nerve tryin' to tear my faith apart
(I have questions for you)
Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?
I should have never, ever, ever trusted you
(I have questions)
Number three, why weren't you, who you swore that you would be?
I have questions, I've got questions haunting me
I have questions for you
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you

My, my name was safest in your mouth
And why'd you have to go and spit it out?
Oh, your voice, it was the most familiar sound
But it sounds so dangerous to me now

I have questions for you
Number one, tell me who you think you are?
You've got some nerve tryin' to tear my faith apart
(I have questions for you)
Number two, why would you try and play me for a fool?
I should have never, ever, ever trusted you
I have questions for you
I have questions for you
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you

Do you care, do you care?
Why don't you care?
I gave you all of me
My blood, my sweat, my heart, and my tears
Why don't you care, why don't you care?
I was there, I was there, when no one was
Now you're gone and I'm here

I have questions for you, ooh
I have questions for you
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
I have questions for you, ooh
I have questions for you (fair play, no, fair play, no)
I have questions for you (I have questions)
I have questions for you
I have questions for you

How do I fix it? Can we talk? Can we communicate? Can we talk? Do I wanna fix it?
I have questions for you (I'm afraid of you)
Is it my fault? Is it my fault? Do you miss me?
I have questions

-----------------------------------------------------

You think that you'll die without him
You know that's a lie that you tell yourself
You fear that you lay alone forever now
It ain't true, ain't true, ain't true, no

So put your arms around me tonight
Let the music lift you up like you've never been so high
Open up your heart to me
Let the music lift you up like you've never been this free
'Til you feel the sunrise
Let the music warm your body like the heat of a thousand fires
The heat of a thousand fires

Ain't no crying in the club (hey, hey)
Let the beat carry 'way your tears as they fall baby
Ain't no crying in the club (hey, hey)
With a little faith, your tears turn to ecstasy
Ain't no crying in the club
I won't, I won't, I
Ain't no crying in the club
I won't, I won't, I
Ain't no crying in the club

You may think that you'll die without her
But you know that's a lie that you told yourself
You fear that you'll never meet another so pure
But it ain't true, ain't true, ain't true, no

So put your arms around me tonight
Let the music lift you up like you've never been so high
Open up your heart to me
Let the music lift you up like you've never been this free
'Til you feel the sunrise
Let the music warm your body like the heat of a thousand fires
The heat of a thousand fires

Ain't no crying in the club (hey, hey)
Let the beat carry 'way your tears as they fall baby
Ain't no crying in the club (hey, hey)
With a little faith, your tears turn to ecstasy
Ain't no crying in the club
I won't, I won't, I
Ain't no crying in the club
I won't, I won't, I
Ain't no crying in the club

You think that you'll die without him
You know that's a lie that you tell yourself
You fear that you lay alone forever now
It ain't true, ain't true, ain't true, no

I said ain't no (ain't no)
Ain't no crying
Ain't no crying in the club, no crying
I said ain't no (ain't no)
Ain't no crying
Ain't no crying in the club, no crying

Ain't no crying in the club (hey, hey)
Let the beat carry 'way your tears as they fall baby
Ain't no crying in the club (hey, hey)
With a little faith, your tears turn to ecstasy
Ain't no crying in the club
I won't, I won't, I
Ain't no crying in the club
I won't, I won't, I

Ain't no crying in the club (ain't no crying, no crying, no crying, no)
I won't, I won't, I
Ain't no crying in the club (ain't no crying, no crying, no crying, no)
I won't, I won't, I
Ain't no crying in the club

Black Magic Woman

Page 1129

Decided not to go out today.

Staying indoors.

With the cooling weather.

And Netflix.

I guess its just the holiday mood huh?

I finished watching Chilling Adventures of Sabrina.

I'm so impressed with this show.

I'm a sucker for Witches and Warlocks.

Leaves me just.. wanting more.  

Like a black magic woman.

Sometimes I wish I could just...

Use Spells. Powers. Potions.

To control and...

Get what I want.

Be a badass like Sabrina and...

Do things my way.

Wouldn't that be great?

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: VCTRY - Black Magic Woman

I got a Black Magic Woman

Got a Black Magic Woman

Yes, I got a Black Magic Woman

Got me so blind i can't see

n

And She's tryin' to make a

But She's a Black Magic Wom

adevil out of me

You got your spell on me baby

spell on me baby

Turning my

You got your spell on me baby

Yes, you got you

rheart into stone

I need you so bad Magic Woman, I can't leave you alone

an

Got me so blind I ca

Got a Black Magic Woman

I got a Black Magic Woman

I got a Black Magic Wo

mn't see

But She's a Black Magic Woman

Tryin' to make a devil out of me

c Woman you gonna make the de

And She's a Black Magic Woman

Tryin'to make a devil out of me

Black Mag

ivil out of me

Go Gina

Page 1128

Time's ticking.

I guess I'm just anxious to make use of my time this holidays.

At least I feel that its getting productive.

I've been on the low-key grinding'.

And that's all that matters.

Came across some juicy tea today.

Wowz.

Didnt expect that.

But hey, whatever floats your boat.

Just.. the coincidence tho.

Heh.

I really have no idea, what the universe is trying to tell me.

But f*ck.

I aint gonna hold back any longer.

Go Gina.

Go Syah.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: SZA - Go Gina

Oh, I loves you babe
I loves you a lot
I loves you bae

Picking up a penny with a press on is
Easier than holding you down
Can't be any harder than holding you up now
To come clean I said
To be real is to be real, no
Probably true what they say about me
Probably came from my inner circle
It usually come from your inner circle
Or lack thereof and I don't know who I can trust
I've been dropping out and
I've been hanging out with my high friends
And we too stoned to pay attention, now
Much too cool for 7th grade

I mean, really it's same me, it's old me
You know? same shit
I've been on the low key
Grinding, grinding, grinding
Learning on the low key, shining
Tryin' to keep to myself
But you bring me out of character
Every time again

Damn Gina, damn Gina
Them jeans, they must be uptight mama
You need some get right mama
And go Gina, go Gina
Go get that get right mama
And go Gina, go Gina
Go do you, get right

I belong to nobody
Hope it don't bother you
You can mind your business
I belong to nobody
Try not to disturb
And mind my business
It works for me, it works for me, no
And go Gina, and go Gina, aye
Oh, no, no, no, no