Drugs

Page 1261

Not sure what I'm feeling.

But this lethargy is getting to me.

Maybe i'm still having flu.

Maybe its all the drugs in me.

I've been waking up late these days,

Not that that's a bad thing.

It's just that, its been so hard to get up.

To get motivated.

I took a jog today.

And it really felt horrible.

My stamina is so bad.

It feels like my fitness has declined drastically over the past year.

Sometimes I feel so gross about myself.

I know I can get back to it.

I know I can.

It's going to take time, to pick it back up.

Slowly, but surely.

I hope.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Eden - Drugs

'Cause I had the best of the worst sides
And I had these lungs
And I had too many flash fires
That I just let them burn

'Til my chest is on fire
And my head just won't die
I guess I'm lying 'cause I wanna
I guess I'm lying 'cause I don't

'Cause I just feel so tired
Like it's move or slowly die
You say, you ain't you when you're like this,
This ain't you and you know it
But ain't that just the point?
You don't know
How to let go
Who said this must be all or nothing?
But I'm still caught below
And I'll never let you know
No, I can't tell you nothing

'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
But still I could always be
Whatever you wanted
But not what you needed
Especially when you been needing me

'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
And I'll say what I don't mean
Just 'cause I wanted
Or maybe I need it
Swear lying's the only rush I need

'Cause all I needed was some words to say
That all these feelings don't mean shit to me
'Cause it's all just chemicals anyway, anyway

And I got way too many routes to take
To make this all just go away
And find another heart to break
So heartless with the words I say
Just saying what I'm supposed to say
'Cause I had nothing for you
I can't love when I can't even love myself
Things I would rather be
Thoughts at the back of my head,
But I'm addicted to hurting
And I got these lungs
And I spent too many late nights
Just thinking a hole in the earth

'Til the sky is on fire
And my head still won't die
I guess I'm lying 'cause I want to
I guess I'm lying 'cause I don't

'Cause I just feel so tired
Like I need something to come alive
She said, "You ain't you when you're like this,
This ain't you what you done?"
And I said, "That's the point."

You don't know how to let go
Who said this must be all or nothing?
But I'm still caught below
And I'll never let you know
No I can't tell you nothing

'Cause I'm a fucking mess sometimes
But still I could always be
Whatever you wanted
But not what you needed
Especially when you been needing me
'Cause I'm a fucking mess inside
And I'll say what I don't mean
Just 'cause I wanted
Or maybe I need it
Swear lying's the only rush I need