Hush

Page 1260

Sometimes...

I need to remember to be nicer.

But there's only so much I can take.

So much I can tolerate.

After last night's fuss, I distanced myself, until I got ready for work.

I was ready for the worst case scenario.

Do I say anything? Scream? Shout? Go crazy? Dramatically walk out without saying anything? 

How should I react? 

I was mentally preparing myself.

I walked out, settling my work stuff.

A voice came from the kitchen.

'That's for you' she pointed to the dish on the table.

'Oh. Okay.'

I took a glass of water and drank.

And she started nagging a bit about what she said last night.

'Again....' I whispered.

I zoned everything out.

In one ear, out comes the other.

I don't have time for this.

I prepared my lunch for work.

She went inside the room, and came back out after I was done.

I told her.. 'Ma, I'm going.'

I went to her to salam.

And she looked me in the eyes, a broken smile one her face.

'You're a good son aren't you?'

She hugs me.

'You're a good son. You are. You've never disobeyed or raised your voice at me. I already lost your first brother. I hope I don't lose you too. I hope you bring me to heaven one day. I'm counting on you. I love you okay? I'm sorry. I didn't meant to scold you. I love you.'

She breaks down. Tears pouring.

I froze, holding back my tears.

How could I be angry anymore?

'Okay. I love you too.'

I kissed her cheeks, hugged and comforted her. 

Hush.

And with that, I left for work.

The rain seemed fitting.

Maybe she has her own anxiety & depression too.

Maybe she's not a perfect mother.

But who am I to give up on her?

No one's perfect.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Joshua Simon - Hush

Dear you

Do continue to blame me

Curse my name all you want

Go ahead, just don't stop sinnin'

Anything to keep the signs from going

Anything to keep the old memories

Anything to keep our song playing out of nowhere

Its strange

How curious

How our spirits took

Long after all the doors have shut

What a loss

Spending that much time

With someone just to find out he's a stranger

Hush

Now

Baby not here

Hush

Now

I'll hold your hand 

In the car instead

Hush

Now 

There's people looking from the corner

Hush 

Now

Oh will we be here when they clear?

Hush

Now

Baby not here

Hush

Now

I'll kiss your lips

When we're home instead

Hush

Now 

Your mama's looking over the shoulder

Hush 

Now

Oh will we be here when they clear?