Man

Page 1350

Spent the last 4 days with my man.

And I won't have it any other way.

I am truly myself, when I am with you.

:)

I know times are tough, and I hope you keep holding on.

We all have to.

Keeping each day productive has been a good practice in keeping sane.

I hope with me around, it makes things slightly more bearable...

🙂

You have my support, and I hope you know that.

We'll get through this together.

I love you, with all my heart.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Man

Gonna love me like I
Gonna love me like I can

You know me I just don't stop
I've been down but I'm back up
Know they all had a little crush
Now they all want a little love

I've been getting comfortable on my own and shit
Loving it, I can handle it
So if I'm gonna love someone

Well, damn
I'm gonna need a fucking man
Someone who want me like a fan
I need somebody who can love me like I love me
Love me like I can, yeah
Damn, I'm gonna need a fucking man
He ride for me like he a stan
I need somebody who can love me like I love me
Love me like I can

I've been looking, but he's so rare
Yeah I know that he out there
Who gon' step up to the plate, yeah
'Cause I ain't about the games, yeah

I've been getting comfortable on my own and shit
Loving it, I can handle it
So if I'm gonna love someone

Well, damn
I'm gonna need a fucking man
Someone who want me like a fan
I need somebody who can love me like I love me
Love me like I can, yeah
Damn, I'm gonna need a fucking man
He ride for me like he a stan
I need somebody who can love me like I love me
Love me like I can

This is only for a man
Who gonna love me like I love me
Love me like I can
(Who gonna love me like I can)

Well, damn
I'm gonna need a fucking man
Someone who want me like a fan
I need somebody who can love me like I love me
Love me like I can, yeah
Damn, I'm gonna need a fucking man
He ride for me like he a stan
I need somebody who can love me like I love me
Love me like I can

Love me like I love me
Love me like I can, yeah
(Love me like I can)

Roses/Lotus/Violet/Iris

Page 1349

Another day gone by.

Is it me, or is time passing faster since I resigned?

Weird.

But it's okay.

I am taking it easy now.

And doing things that I love.

Catching my breathe, amidst all this chaos.

Before more to come in April.

I just want to be carefree.

Wear all sorts of petals for armor.

Roses/Lotus/Violet/Iris.

And do things I love.

Revisit my childhood.

And what makes me.. me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Hayley Williams - Roses/Lotus/Violet/Iris 

I have seen your body
And I have seen your beauty
They are separate things
Pretty, pretty, pretty things

But I am in a garden
Tending to my own
So what do I care
And what do you care if I grow?
Ooh, if I grow

Roses, roses, roses, roses, roses
(Roses, roses, roses, roses, roses)
Show no concern for colors of a violet
Lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus
(Lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus)
Hopes it won't spark envy in your irises

Think of all the wilted women
Who crane their necks to reach a window
Ripping all their petals off just 'cause
"He loves me now / he loves me not"

I myself was a wilted woman
Drowsy in a dark room
Forgot my roots, now watch me bloom

Roses, roses, roses, roses, roses
(Roses, roses, roses, roses, roses)
Show no concern for colors of a violet
Lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus
(Lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus)
Hopes it won't spark envy in your irises
Irises

And I will not compare
Other beauty to mine
And I will not become
A thorn in my own side
And I will not return
To where I once was
Well, I can break through the earth
Come up soft and wild

Roses, roses, roses, roses, roses
(Roses, roses, roses, roses, roses)
Show no concern for colors of a violet
Lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus
(Lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus, lotus)
Hopes it won't spark envy in your irises

(Roses, roses, roses, roses)
(Roses, roses, roses, roses)
(Roses, roses, roses, roses)
(Roses, roses, roses, roses, roses)

Future Nostalgia // Break My Heart

Page 1348

I'm so in love with Dua Lipa.

So proud of her latest album, Future Nostalgia.

Even though it leaked early, she did her best to make up for it by bringing forward the release date.

The video for her latest single, Break My Heart is mind-blowing.

The song itself is so relatable in our situation.

'I should've stayed at home'.

STAY HOME DAMNIT. 😂👌

(PS. Did ya'll see how crazy the mall situation is now?)

Pop perfection at it's finest.

Spent today cuddled up in the rainy weather.

Also, watched a weird Netflix movie called The Platform.

 Uhh. Lets just say there won't be any buffets for a while.

ALSO, reignited my childhood memories with Runescape.

Damn it, so much has changed since I started gaming when I was 10 years old.

Crazy how time's passed since.

And it isn't stopping.

Cant wait to start reliving my childhood more. ☺️

Nostalgia.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood #1: Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia

(Future)

(Future nostalgia)
(Future nostalgia)
(Future nostalgia)

You want a timeless song, I wanna change the game
Like modern architecture, John Lautner coming your way
I know you like this beat 'cause Jeff been doing the damn thing
You wanna turn it up loud, future nostalgia is the name
(Future nostalgia)

I know you're dying trying to figure me out
My name's on the tip of your tongue, keep running your mouth
You want the recipe but can't handle my sound
My sound, my sound (Future)

(Future nostalgia)
No matter what you do I'm gonna get it without ya
(Future nostalgia)
I know you ain't used to a female Alpha
(No way, no way)
(Future nostalgia)
No matter what you do I'm gonna get it without ya
(Future nostalgia)
I know you ain't used to a female Alpha
(No way, no way)
(Future nostalgia)

Can't be a Rolling Stone if you live in a glass house (Future nostalgia)
You keep on talking that talk, one day you're gonna blast out
You can't be bitter if I'm out here showing my face (Future nostalgia)
You want what now looks like, let me give you a taste

I know you're dying trying to figure me out
My name's on the tip of your tongue, keep running your mouth
You want the recipe but can't handle my sound
My sound, my sound (Future)

(Future nostalgia)
No matter what you do I'm gonna get it without ya
(Future nostalgia)
I know you ain't used to a female Alpha
(Future nostalgia)
No matter what you do I'm gonna get it without ya
(Future nostalgia)
I know you ain't used to a female Alpha
(Future nostalgia)

You can't get with this if you ain't built for this
You can't get with this if you ain't built for this
I can't build you up if you ain't tough enough
I can't teach a man how to wear his pants, haha

I know you're dying trying to figure me out
My name's on the tip of your tongue, keep running your mouth
You want the recipe but can't handle my sound (Future nostalgia)
My sound, my sound (Future)

I know you're dying trying to figure me out
My name's on the tip of your tongue, keep running your mouth
You want the recipe but can't handle my sound
My sound, my sound (Future)

(Future nostalgia)
(Future nostalgia)
(Future nostalgia)
My sound, my sound, my sound (Future)
(Future nostalgia)

Current Song Mood #2: Dua Lipa - Break My Heart

I've always been the one to say the first goodbye
Had to love and lose a hundred million times
Had to get it wrong to know just what I like
Now I'm falling

You say my name like I have never heard before
I'm indecisive, but this time I know for sure
I hope I'm not the only one that feels it all
Are you falling?

Centre of attention
You know you can get whatever you want from me
Whenever you want it, baby
It's you in my reflection
I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me
If I woulda known it, baby

I would've stayed at home
'Cause I was doing better alone
But when you said, "Hello"
I knew that was the end of it all
I should've stayed at home
'Cause now there ain't no letting you go
Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

Oh no, I was doing better alone
But when you said, "Hello"
I knew that was the end of it all
I should've stayed at home
'Cause now there ain't no letting you go
Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

I wonder, when you go, if I stay on your mind
Two can play that game, but you win me every time
Everyone before you was a waste of time
Yeah, you got me

Centre of attention
You know you can get whatever you want from me
Whenever you want it, baby
It's you in my reflection
I'm afraid of all the things it could do to me
If I woulda known it, baby

I would've stayed at home
'Cause I was doing better alone
But when you said, "Hello"
I knew that was the end of it all
I should've stayed at home
'Cause now there ain't no letting you go
Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

Oh no, I was doing better alone
But when you said, "Hello"
I knew that was the end of it all
I should've stayed at home
'Cause now there ain't no letting you go
Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

Ooh, break my heart
Ooh, break my heart
Ooh
Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

I would've stayed at home
'Cause I was doing better alone
But when you said, "Hello"
I knew that was the end of it all
I should've stayed at home (I would've stayed at home 'cause I)
'Cause now there ain't no letting you go
Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

Oh no (Oh no), I was doing better alone
But when you said, "Hello"
I knew that was the end of it all
I should've stayed at home
'Cause now there ain't no letting you go
Am I falling in love with the one that could break my heart?

Alive

Page 1347 

Feels good to be out in the morning.

Out for fresh air & breakfast.

I knooooow.

We should be staying at home.

But staying in was gonna make us go crazy!

I'm glad we went out :)

Social distancing and all.

Had some MacDs brekkie and Starbucks Coffee.

Yuuuuum.

A walk around JEMS and a hair cut later, we went back home.

Played around with the keys, watched a movie, and then caught Lincoln's livestream show on Facebook.

So proud of this dude - he helped me out a lot on my EP.

:)

It's nice to see these talented people still putting their all even through these hard times.

It's a wonderful time to be alive, despite the circumstances.

It's how you learn to deal with it, and who you surround yourself with that matters.

Good company. And your passion.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lincoln Lim - Alive

I sat on the wall Till light hit my face I've spoken to God And tore up my faith Cause heaven just left me Anyway Heaven ain't meant to feel like this What happened to us What happened to me I built up weapons of war To blow up in my face All that i know is I think I'm not gonna be okay And i'm still thinking about what went wrong again Holding on to a piece of your dress like a boy in the rain Try my best to pick up the pieces of My broken heart just to fuck it up again And all i felt since you walked on out is PAIN Your name is all i've been singing again and again When you said i love ya Did you cross your fingers Or did the memory fade? I guess it didn't matter much anyway Ooh Ooh ooh ooh ooh My head is a mess My reflection feels cold Cause all of my favourite things about myself Was just you and you alone Now I'm stuck here on my own Like a dog without a home Just GETTING OLD And I'm still thinking bout who went wrong again Tell the ghosts hanging out in my head That I'm taking the blame Try my best to say "I'm gonna make It up to you" Just to fuck it up again And all i've felt Since you walked on out is PAIN Your name is all i've been singing again and again When i said i loved you Did you pull me closer or did i push you away I guess it didn't matter much anyway Ooh ooh ooh Tell me what to say And what to even pray For i needed I needed to know Ooh ooh ooh Did i waste away my soul? Cause you saved it You saved it you know

Generation Why

Page 1346

It was a good day Quarantining at home today.

Now that I have all this free time, I'm gonna work on myself.

Be productive (hopefully) and learn new skills.

Spent the day spring cleaning (Mostly to throw away all my work stuff).

Decided to be more productive and went to play around with my MIDI.

Went to Youtube to do some online piano learning.

Damn.. This is much harder than I thought.

Andrew Furmanczyk is great tho. Lol. His funny hair and dad-humour gets me every time.

After 2 hours, I gave up.

Hahaha. Will do more the next few days. 

Contemplated to get the Starbucks 1-1 Frappe.

But then... I was just lazy.

(Even though Starbucks is like 3 minutes away from my place 😂)

Took a nap instead. LOL.

Decided to get started on The Messiah on Netflix.

It is.. damn slow.

Haha. But I have to finish what I started. *shrugs*

Halfway there!

Been reading news about people who are supposed to be on SHN, but have been going out.

Even in my area.

WTF guys.

This generation is f-cked.

Be responsible.

Please, STAY HOME.

😒😒😒

And that's for today's Quarantine with Eran.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Conan Gray - Generation Why 

Why why why why
Why why why why
Why why why

I was off
Keying cars parked on radium lawns
By suburbian moms
I called a friend
Let's meet at ten
Go wherever we want
'Cause no one cares that we're gone

This town don't got much to do
You and I haven't got much to lose
So do you wanna rot in your room like we always do?
Talk about how fast we grew
And all the big dreams that we won't pursue
Then get in your car and laugh 'til we both turn blue

'Cause we are the helpless, selfish, one of a kind
Millennium kids, that all wanna die
Walking in the street with no light inside our eyes
We are the worthless, cursed with too much time
We get into trouble and lose our minds
Something that I've heard a million times in my life
Generation Why

Parents think, we're fast asleep
But as soon as we're home, we're sneaking out the window
'Cause at this rate of earth decay
Our world's ending at noon
Could we all just move to the moon?

This town don't got much to do
And you and I haven't got much to lose
So do you wanna leave everyone in this place for good?

'Cause we are the helpless, selfish, one of a kind
Millennium kids, that all wanna die
Walking in the street with no light inside our eyes
We are the worthless, cursed with too much time
We get into trouble and lose our minds
Something that I've heard a million times in my life
Generation Why

Why why why why why why why why why
We're livin' night to night
Why why why why why why why why why
Since we're bound to die, oh
Why why why why why why why why why
Oh, what's the use in trying?
Why why why why why why why why why
And it's exactly why

We are the helpless, selfish, one of a kind
Millennium kids, that all wanna die
Walking in the street with no light inside our eyes
We are the worthless, cursed with too much time
We get into trouble and lose our minds
Something that I've heard a million times in my life
Generation why

Why why why why why why why why why
Why why why why why why why why why
Why why why why why why why why why
Why why why why why why why why why

Cinnamon

Page 1345

Goodbyes are really.. not easy.

I hate saying it.

I try to avoid it.

But I can't run from it forever.

Today was.. bittersweet.

My last day at work.

I joined this company in October 2017.

And 2 and a half years later, here I am.

Through the ups and downs of it all, I've established some special bonds/relationships.

Ones I don't think I can get elsewhere.

Receiving thank you cards, and hugs from these people who have been like family.

Not just colleagues, but my patients too.

Some, I didn't get to say goodbye.

And that's okay.

I've delivered the best care I can for you guys. 

And I hope it was enough.

Thank you for giving me one of the best working experiences in my life.

The world won't stop for me.

Everything will continue.

And we must move forward.

For now.. I'm not lonely.

I am free.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Hayley Williams - Cinnamon 

Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

On the walls of my home
There are signs that I'm alone
I keep on every light
Talk to my dog, he don't mind

Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Eat my breakfast in the nude
Lemon water, living room
Home is where I'm feminine
Smells like citrus and cinnamon

Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

I'm not lonely
I am free
But if I let you in
You would never wanna leave
(If I let you in)
If ever I let you in
Cinnamon

I'm not lonely, babe, I am free
Finally
I'm not lonely, babe, I am free

Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
(I'm not lonely, babe)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah
Ah, ooh (Cinnamon, cinnamon)
(I'm not lonely, babe)
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

If I let you in, cinnamon
If I let you in, cinnamon
Ooh, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

I Will Be

Page 1344

These are crazy times.

Shows & tours are getting cancelled left and right.

I feel bad for those that are running their own businesses.

Everything is affected.

So it's important to be with people you love.

To keep you sane.

To keep you safe.

Love Love Love.

Had our usual Sunday Routine together.

Watching shows and having meals.

Playing music.

Snuggling up in bed with the cooling weather outside.

No, I'll never get bored of it.

I always count my blessings.

It is everything I've wanted.

:)

Thank you for sticking with me.

And taking care of me.

We really are one in a million, two peas in a pod.

Perfectly meant for each other.

Whatever will be, will be.

And I hope the world gets back to normal soon.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Avril Lavigne - I Will Be

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do
To make you see
What you mean to me

All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye
And now I know
How far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see
Honestly

You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe
'Cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
'Cause I would never let you go

I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

'Cause without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave
You're all I got
You're all I want
Yeah

And without you
I don't know what I'd do
I could never ever live a day without you
Here with me
Do you see? You're all I need

And I will be all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life) I will be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

I will be (I'll be) all that you want and get myself together
'Cause you keep me from falling apart
And all my life you know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything OK

No Time To Die

Page 1343

What a weird time to be alive.

2020's really starting out wild.

It's like something written out of a horror movie.

Chaos everywhere in the world.

It's impacting everyone.

Everyone I know.

People around me.

People I love.

People are overworked.

People are struggling to get jobs/getting retrenched.

People are constantly at risk.

It is really a rough period.

And we are all adapting to it.

There is really no way out, but through.

No time to die.

But to keep fighting, keep faith, and keep on keepin' on.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Eilish - No Time To Die

I should've known
I'd leave alone
Just goes to show
That the blood you bleed is just the blood you owe

We were a pair
But I saw you there
Too much to bear
You were my life, but life is far away from fair

Was I stupid to love you?
Was I reckless to help?
Was it obvious to everybody else

That I'd fallen for a lie?
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

I let it burn
You're no longer my concern
Faces from my past return
Another lesson yet to learn

That I'd fallen for a lie
You were never on my side
Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

No time to die
No time to die

Fool me once, fool me twice
Are you death or paradise?
Now you'll never see me cry
There's just no time to die

I Love You

Page 1342

Another great day with my boo.

Sooo grateful for you.

I love you.

You bring out.. the best in me.

And I love it.

I love being in your arms.

I love our talks.

I love playing music with you.

I wish I could be with you everyday.

Life, would be so much better.

Singing this song today, it felt therapeutic.

It gave me a nostalgic feeling, the times I've cried to it.

It's sad.

But that's us.

Sad yet happy souls.

It is just in us.

And that is perfectly, okay.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Eilish - I Love You

It's not true, tell me I've been lied to
Cryin' isn't like you
What the hell did I do?
Never been the type to
Let someone see right through

Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn't mean to say I love you
I love you
And I don't want to

Up all night on another red-eye
I wish we never learned to fly
Maybe we should just try
To tell ourselves a good lie
Didn't mean to make you cry

Maybe won't you take it back
Say you were tryna make me laugh
And nothing has to change today
You didn't mean to say I love you
I love you
And I don't want to

The smile that you gave me
Even when you felt like dyin'

We fall apart as it gets dark
I'm in your arms in Central Park
There's nothing you could do or say
I can't escape the way I love you
I don't want to
But I love you

Today And Tomorrow.

Page 1341 

7 more working days and I'll be done with this place.

The surrealness of it all is starting to sink in.

It felts like those days when I was about to ORD.

Hahaha.

I was all alone then.

Cause I was the only one left from my batch to ORD.

It was pretty lonely.

But liberating.

To go through the day and really... Live in the moment.

Cherishing the surroundings for the last time, going to breakfast alone, etc.

I can still remember.

Nostalgic.

My manager announced today that that would be no more requests for the next roster.

And at the same time she announced that it will be the last one with me in it.

:)

Time really does fly doesn't it?

First, today.

Then, tomorrow.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Grace VanderWaal - Today And Tomorrow 

Don't say maybe, just don't wake me
We can stay here for as long as we want
And make forever last a while

Leave the light on
After the sun
Leaves and goes to a far off ocean
And lay here with me

And I'll catch you
Fallin' into me, fallin' into you
Lettin' go of all the things I've thought were true
Fallin' into me as I'm fallin' into you
It seems so clear but I don't know what to do

I speak too much, you stay closed off
But I can see
Your thoughts in the stardust
Shining back at me

As I catch you
Fallin' into me, fallin' into you
Lettin' go of all the things I've thought were true
Fallin' into me, as I'm fallin' into you
It seems so clear but I don't know what to do

One day I'll be
Old and ugly
Will you still be thinking of me?
If we were as brave as we are now

And I'll catch you
Thinking of me, as I'm thinking of you
Lettin' go of all the things I thought were true
As you're fallin' into me and I'm fallin' into you
It seems so clear but I don't know what to do