Spiral Szn

 Page 1530

And so it beguns.

A seasonal depression.

Or a horrible case of Monday blues.

Or just my heavy mind wandering off in public.

I was at the grocery store.

Picked up my stuffs and went to check out.

Accidentally scanned an item twice.

There was absolutely no option to cancel.

I tried so many times but to no avail.

The staff guarding the area was busy mending the doorway.

The line was quickly forming up.

The screen I was at stayed put. Frozen.

So I went to another counter beside it.

I managed to scan it right this time.

The staff came up to my previous counter, looked at me and asked 'Why?'

I told her what happened. 

'Next time let me know' her tone was passive aggressive.

The usually-friendly staff wasn't looking so friendly anymore.

 I just apologised.

I headed towards the narrow exit. A lady blocked it partially while waiting for her groceries.

I squeezed past her, with my heavy bag behind me.

It knocked over some paper bags placed on the left.

I was stunned. 

'What if it had been glass?'

But I was too tired & had no fight left in me.

A mixture of anger & embarrassment.

Picked it all up as everyone stared.

And just fucked off as fast as I could.

A panic attack followed.

By a series of negative thoughts.

'What a Monday.' I muttered and shook my head.

All I want to do now is bury myself under the covers. 

And just spiral & disappear into nothingness.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Spiral Szn

Mm
Oh-oh
Mm

Love a girl, lovin' everything but herself
Pedestal for everyone, but she's on a shelf
Emotional comatose
You know how that shit goes, yeah
Love a girl, loves to overthink it to death
Underwhelmed by everything that she's ever did
Woke up so half empty
That's how I see it

Usually people compliment my positivity
But my sanity ain't always there for me
It's like that when you're your biggest enemy

Guess I'm having ice in my sauvignon
I'm havin' one of those nights
Where I need it right now
You know that I can't chill (Oh)
Never could, probably never will (I)
I could do somethin' nice for myself, but I don't
I keep on startin' fights with myself, goin' downhill
Postpone the healing, it's spiral season again, yeah

Here comes the rain and the drama (Oh no)
My place is next to the trauma
No room for nothing else
I know this season all too well (Yeah, yeah)

Usually people compliment my positivity
But my sanity ain't always there for me
It's like that when you're your biggest enemy (Ooh)

Guess I'm having ice in my sauvignon
I'm havin' one of those nights (Yeah)
Where I need it right now
You know that I can't chill (Oh)
Never could, probably never will (I)
I could do somethin' nice for myself, but I don't
I keep on startin' fights with myself, goin' downhill
Postpone the healing, it's spiral season again, yeah

Usually people compliment my positivity
But my sanity ain't always there for me
It's like that when you're your biggest enemy

Ice in my sauvignon (Oh)
I'm havin' one of those nights (Oh)
Where I need it right now
You know that I can't chill (Oh)
Never could, probably never will (Never could, probably never will, I)
I could do somethin' nice for myself, but I don't
I keep on startin' fights with myself, goin' downhill
Postpone the healing (Oh), it's

Oh
Oh
Spiral season again, yeah