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TGIF??
Hell yeah.
It started out so great.
Did gym, went for my booster shot, had breakfast, gamed and caught up with lots of music.
And then it was time to head to work.
The train doors opened and lo and behold.
Bumped into an old friend: Lincoln!
He was one of the producers for my first EP.
I was in shock, as was he.
I attempted to shake his hand and he went in for a hug.
Him: 'I gotta rush man!'
Me: 'Yea sure!'
I told him the hug felt like 5 seconds of therapy.
It was hilarious but true.
All the nostalgia from the studio days came back to me.
My partner told me; 'Maybe the Universe lets you meet him for a bit, to make you realise that is what you actually lost'..
And that was so true.
The moments I was creating music back in 2018-2019 with Jaz and Lincoln, those were my most memorable moments. Cause I was so broken back then, and so determine to make something out of myself. My feelings. Those moments made me feel so alive.
These days I feel like I'm just hustling, and time is just ticking away. Adulting sucks your soul away, and we are just waiting for the next payday.
That's... not living. Isn't it? But we've gotta survive in the meantime.
Well, it got worst when I reached work.
Let's just say my manager hinted an incident that happened was because of an incompetent staff.
Yeah, that staff involved was me. Not saying it directly but - it was quite obvious.
I was pretty upset throughout, anxiety attacks and all. I couldn't work like this.
I hated the feeling. It is really upsetting & brings out the worst I assume.
I doubted myself a lot. Like am I even good enough?
So I took a moment to calm myself, deep breaths and just did my tasks. Kept myself busy. By the end of it I was myself again. And I'm glad I didn't let it devour me.
I know I'm gentle as heck when it comes to my patients. Yet these incidents I cant seem to escape.
I'm just looking forward for the week to end.
Love, Eran.
Yeah, yeah
Ooh, too lit
Forgot who I was talking to-shit
I don't wanna sabotage this
Love ain't how they advertise it
I just hope you understand, yeah
I know you be talkin' to your friends
Ooh ya, tired
And it feels one sided
Little misguided
But I ain't lookin' for no side dick
I know I be fuckin' up the plans
I just wanna say it in advance
Even though I thought I was right (Oh)
I was goin' off that night (Oh)
Sometimes I'm not that nice (Ooh, woah, oh)
Even though I'm not that type (Ooh, woah, oh, oh)
I just had to call for forgiveness (Oh)
I know it's at least in double digits (Ooh-ooh, oh, woah)
And I do it all the time, yeah (Yeah)
Thinkin' you can read my fuckin' mind, yeah
I keep assuming, you're gonna do shit
That might break my heart so I keep up my guard
And I know it's confusin', how I put you through it
My past and my scars, still make it hard
I assume, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Always the worst, I assume
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Always the worst, I assume
I been sippin' on light, aye
I'm just tryna pick a fight, aye, yeah
Wonder if it's real life, aye
Or if I'm just in a mood
I know this can't be safe
Arguin' on the freeway
Makin' shit about me, babe
On your b-day
You know I thought I was right (Oh)
I was goin' off that night (Oh, I was really goin' off)
Sometimes I'm not that nice (Ooh, woah, oh)
Even though I'm not that type (Ooh, woah, oh, oh)
I just had to call for forgiveness (Oh)
I know it's at least in
Some double digits (Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh, oo)
And I do it all the time, yeah (Yeah)
Thinkin' you can read my fuckin' mind, yeah (Ooh yeah, baby, yeah)
I keep assumin', you're gonna do shit
That might break my heart so I keep up my guard
And I know it's confusin', how I put you through it
My past and my scars, still make it hard
I assume, ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh
Always the worst, I assume
Ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh
Always the worst, I assume
Always the worst, I assume
And I always do this
You ain't in the mood for it
And everybody's movin' on, but I'm on the same page
There's no use speakin' in absolutes
But I'm scared that I'll never change
Lookin at myself is infuriatin'
I hate it 'cause I stop myself from even participatin'
Engagin' in the conversation's drainin'
It happens daily like I'm sideways
Is it? (Good enough)
Are you? (Good enough)
Can't be (Good enough)
The way that you move (Good enough)
You ain't (Good enough)
Stuck on (Good enough)
The things that you do (Good enough)
Perfection (Good enough)
Get it (Good enough)
So much to prove
So much to lose, yeah
Is it? (Good enough)
Are you? (Good enough)
Can't be (Good enough)
The way that you move (Good enough)
You ain't (Good enough)
Stuck on (Good enough)
The things that you do (Good enough)
Perfection (Good enough)
Get it (Good enough)
There's so much to prove
Is it?
Do you feel you're not good enough for me?
So much to prove
Things don't look the same in the thick of the night
Wait for the sun rise
It'll be alright
Don't go let the world make you lose sight
All that needs time
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