Real Feels

Page 829

I laughed it off.

Well.

Maybe...

Maybe I wished it was true.

Haha.

I don't know...

Don't know what to expect of this.

All I know is... what I'm feeling... are real feels.

And maybe I feel like falling.

For you.

Well I won't complicate things.

It won't end well..

I know it.

I'll keep it as it is.

As long as I can.

Love, Eran.

Ps. Heard this song when I was with you.

Now it just reminds me of you.

Current Song Mood: R I T U A L Ft Denzel Curry - Real Feels

[Verse 1: R I T U A L]
I tried to keep these feelings in control
I’ve tried to find a reason not to show you
But every time I do, I give my all
Just can’t let it go

[Pre Chorus: R I T U A L]
Even if you say, even if you say no
I’m gonna fight babe
Cause what I need has taken hold
And even if you play, even if you play dumb
Its not gonna change me, (Its not gonna change me)

[Chorus: R I T U A L]
If this is how real feels
Then I guess i want it
If this is how real feels
Then I guess i’m on it
If this is how real feels
Well it feels like falling
Yeah I feel like falling
For you, (you)

[Verse 2: R I T U A L]
I’m getting bored of artificial love
That one night feeling is never quite enough
There’s evidence in each time that we touch
That i’m not giving up

[Pre Chorus: R I T U A L]
Even if you say, even if you say no
I’m gonna fight babe
Cause what I need has taken hold
And even if you play, even if you play dumb
Its not gonna change me, (Its not gonna change me)

[Chorus: R I T U A L]
If this is how real feels
Then I guess i want it
If this is how real feels
Then I guess i’m on it
If this is how real feels
Well it feels like falling
Yeah I feel like falling
For you, (you)

[Bridge: R I T U A L
Yeah I feel like fallin'
For you, (you)
Yeah I feel like fallin'
For you, (you)

[Verse 3: Denzel Curry]
I won't forget about the falls and slips
The flaws are seeping through your flawless lips

If I'm the sun, then you are my eclipse

It will never be there forever so to get a glimpsz
I feel though you
I, can't even deny
Girl you blew my mind
Can't forget you, if I tried
In a moment, at my lowest you get me back on my feet
My heart, is cold and yet it been stolen
She won't give it back to me
I, fell hard
I don't want to fall anymore
Fell hard, she don't want it all anymore
Rewind this, like we been here before
Love, lost There's not a we anymore

[Chorus: R I T U A L]
If this is how real feels
Then I guess i want it
If this is how real feels
Then I guess i’m on it
If this is how real feels
Well it feels like falling
Yeah I feel like falling
For you, (you)

[Bridge: R I T U A L]
Yeah I feel like fallin'
For you, (you)
Yeah I feel like fallin'
For you, (you)
Yeah I feel like fallin'
For you, (you)
Yeah I feel like fallin'

Garden (Say It Like That)

Page 828

I passed by the garden.

This familiar place..

Brought back so much memories.

But it doesn't affect me now.

Not anymore.

----------------------------------------------------------------

:)

I had a good day.

With good company.

Reconnecting after so long.

Holding conversations and laughter.

Your funny accents.

I love it when you say it like that.

Been a while since I've been this occupied.

But it's good.

It's always good...

To keep your mind off things.

This week is gonna be slightly hard to go through.

But I know I can pull through.

Today I went home feeling a little empty.

A little teary maybe.

A little jealous/hurt maybe.

But I know it's for the best.

It's better this way.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: SZA - Garden (Say It Like That)

Need you for the old me
Need you for my sanity
Need you to remind me where I come from
Can you remind me of my gravity?
Ground me when I'm tumblin', spiralin', plummetin' down to Earth
You keep me down to Earth
Call me on my bullshit
Lie to me and say my booty gettin' bigger even if it ain't
Love me even if it rain
Love me even if it pain you
I know I be difficult
You know I be difficult
You know it get difficult to

Open your heart up
Hoping they'll never find out that you're anyone else
'Cause I love you just how you are
Hope you never find out who I really am
'Cause you'll never love me, you'll never love me, you'll never love me
But I believe you when you say it like dat
Only you need me when you say it like dat
Oh I believe you when you say it like dat
You must really love me

For real, I'm not playing no games
Pulling back and forth
I need your support now (now, now, now, now, now)
In case you call my phone I don't care
Got no panties on
I need your support now (now, now, now, now, now)
I know you'd rather be layin' up with a big booty
Body hella positive 'cause she got a big booty (wow)
I know I'd rather be paid up
You know I'm sensitive about havin' no booty, havin' no body, only you buddy
Can you hold me when nobody's around us

Open your heart up
Hoping they'll never find out that you're anyone else
'Cause I love you just how you are
Hope you never find out who I really am
'Cause you'll never love me, you'll never love me, you'll never love me
But I believe you when you say it like dat
Only you need me when you say it like dat
Oh I believe you when you say it like dat
You must really love me

You don't got shit to say to me
I ain't got shit to say to you
[Laughs] Granny, and that's the truth
And step on
Also you black heffa, you stand your ground
'Cause I feel the same way
If you don't like me, you don't have to fool with me
You don't have to talk about me or treat me mean
I don't have to treat you mean
I just stay out of your way
That's the way you work that one

Beautiful People Beautiful Problems

Page 827

Wonderful day out with my boys.

Good ol' times.

I think we all needed this.

And I'm so glad we did.

We're all beautiful people with beautiful problems.

Life is beautiful. 

We just have to see it from a different view.

We all have our challenges.

It's okay to be upset.

It's okay to be depressed.

It's okay to cry.

Cause deep down inside, we're all hurting in some ways.

I just hope you know.

That there are people who are willing to lend a hand or a shoulder to cry.

I know I am.

I'm right here.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lana Del Rey - Beautiful People Beautiful Problems

Blue is the color of the planet from the view above
Long live our reign, long live our love
Green is the planet from the eyes of a turtle dove
'Til it runs red, runs red with blood

We get so tired and we complain
'Bout how it's hard to live
It's more than just a video game

But we're just beautiful people
With beautiful problems, yeah
Beautiful problems, God knows we've got them
But we gotta try (la la la)
Every day and night (la la la)

Blue is the color on the shirt of the man I love
He's hard at work, hard to the touch
But warm is the body of the girl from the land he loves
My heart is soft, my past is rough

But when I love him get a feeling
Something close to like a sugar rush
It runs through me
But is it wasted love?
(It's not wasted love)

But we're just beautiful people
With beautiful problems, yeah
Beautiful problems, God knows we've got them
But we gotta try (la la la)
Every day and night (la la la)

Oh, oh
Hmm, hmm
Oh, oh
Hmm, hmm
Yeah, we've gotta try (la la la)
We gotta walk through fire (la la la)
Because we're just

Beautiful people with beautiful problems, yeah
(We're just)
Beautiful problems, God knows we've got them
(Beautiful people)
Beautiful people with beautiful problems, yeah (we need to)
Beautiful problems, God knows we got them

So beautiful
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah

Halfway Right

Page 826

As the days go by, my roles and responsibilities become more clearer.

I know what I have to do..

I don't really have a choice now.

But I know... 

Deep down, I'm meant for something more.

I don't want to go down the typical route.

I wanna be more than this.

I wanna know I'm right.

But maybe... I'm just halfway right.

A boy can dream.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Linkin Park - Halfway Right

I scream at myself when there's nobody else to fight
I don't lose, I don't win, if I'm wrong, then I'm halfway right

Used to get high with the dead end kids
Abandoned houses where the shadows live
I never been higher than I was that night
I woke up driving my car
I couldn't see then what I see right now
The road dissolving like an empty vow
Couldn't remember where I'd been that night
I knew I took it too far

All you said to do was slow down
I remember, now I remember
All you said to do was slow down
But I was already gone

I scream at myself when there's nobody else to fight
I don't lose, I don't win, if I'm wrong, then I'm halfway right
I know what I want, but it feels like I'm paralyzed
I don't lose, I don't win, if I'm wrong, then I'm halfway right (halfway right)

Told me "Kid, you're going way to fast
You burn too bright, you know you'll never last"
It was bullshit then, I guess it makes sense now
I woke up driving my car
Said I'd lose you if I lost control
I just laughed because what do they know?
Here I am, standing all alone
Because I took it too far

All you said to do was slow down
I remember, now I remember
All you said to do was slow down
But I was already gone

I scream at myself when there's nobody else to fight
I don't lose, I don't win, if I'm wrong, then I'm halfway right
I know what I want, but it feels like I'm paralyzed
I don't lose, I don't win, if I'm wrong, then I'm halfway right, halfway right

But I was already gone
I scream at myself when there's nobody else to fight
I don't lose, I don't win, if I'm wrong, then I'm halfway right

But I was already gone
I scream at myself when there's nobody else to fight
I don't lose, I don't win, if I'm wrong, then I'm halfway right

One More Light

Page 825

Chester Bennington.

RIP.

A hero.

A Legend.

You left us with songs that touched millions of souls.

Thank you for being a part of my childhood.

Linkin Park was the first band I've ever listened to.

The news broke as I was scrolling through my Twitter feed this morning.

I don't know why, but I was so gutted. My heart broke. The pain was real.

Especially the fact that he took his own life. Unexpectedly.

I'm sure everyone felt that way too.

Songs from the past came back.

Everything hurts because it all makes sense now.

And the last performance he did.. it was so genuine and heartfelt.

I'm speechless.

It feels surreal.

Suicide is never an option.

The world just got a little darker.

Sometimes all we need.. is one more light.

You were that light.

Rest in peace.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Linkin Park - One More Light

Should've stayed, were there signs, I ignored?
Can I help you, not to hurt, anymore?
We saw brilliance, when the world, was asleep
There are things that we can have, but can't keep

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out
Well I do

The reminders, pull the floor from your feet
In the kitchen, one more chair than you need, oh
And you're angry, and you should be, it's not fair
Just 'cause you can't see it, doesn't mean it isn't there

If they say
Who cares if one more light goes out
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out
Well I do

Who cares if one more light goes out
In the sky of a million stars
It flickers, flickers
Who cares when someone's time runs out
If a moment is all we are
Or quicker, quicker
Who cares if one more light goes out
Well I do
Well I do

Present Situation

Page 824

I guess I get infatuated too easily.

Haha.

Damnit Syah.

Don't know why I expect so much.

Don't know what to say right now.

Don't know how to handle this present situation.

Sigh.

All I can remember is the feeling I felt last night.

And it's so strong.

That feeling of being wanted.

I guess it's nothing but an illusion huh.

Yeah.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Sevyn Streeter Ft The-Dream - Present Situation

With every breath in my lungs, I'm gone
Scream out my mind 'cause I miss you so
But eventually, I get over you
Hit up the mall and drop a couple bands off
Spending money is my antidote, yeah
Don't that sound like somebody you know? Yeah
She hurt you, you hurt me
But without her, we wouldn't be
So I don't know what to say right now
And I don't know where to be right now

How do I address the present situation?
The present situation
The present situation
I don't know how to address the present situation
The present situation

So when you started out tricking on me
You was trying to get over her
And when you started to lay me down
You was still getting over her
I wonder if you love me now
Or if you ever loved me at all
A baseless love and still we fall
And I'mma tell myself that every nigga seem irrelevant
(Just sex me right)
I'mma keep on showing it so much that I start to forget
(I love the light)
And I gotta acquire your taste
Swallowing straight with no chase
(This ain't right)
Then I start to come around
That's the Sevyn they heard about
But then you have to hold me down

I got a present situation
Oh, present situation
We gotta address the present situation
I don't know how to address the present situation
The present situation

And I can't lie, I love it
I can't lie, I love it
It ain't right, I love it
I wouldn't have chose this life, but I love it

The present situation
The present situation
The present situation
I don't know how to address the present situation
The present situation

Bated Breath

Page 823

Resistance was futile.

I gave in tonight.

I had a good feeling about it.

I guess.

And true enough, it was.

Awkward at first.

But it ended up fast, passionate & definitely worth it.

Those longing eyes. The body twitching. The irresistable bites. My whispers. The lip bites.

I enjoyed every minute of it.

I could tell at the end of it, a little shyness of what just happened.

I smiled.

As I was about to leave, a door slammed.

I froze.

A bated breath.

I suddenly felt quick lips pressing against mine.

I was caught off guard.

'Bye.'

And I left quickly, blushing.

Before anyone in the house woke up.

I don't know what to feel. But I guess it felt good.

I guess I don't need to cling on to people who don't deserve me.

Cause today was just overwhelming.

I hope to see you again..

Maybe.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Tinashe - Bated Breath

What if I told you that it was all in vain?
Would it still hurt you?
Would you still feel the same?
Said it's impossible-possible
So impossible

[Chorus:]
But you're still waiting on the moment breath is bated
I wish I could hold you, I can't take it
Tell you all my secrets
I'm too faded
Praying that tomorrow I'll be braver
Maybe I can tell you, maybe we can do this
Kisses on my forehead we can fall into it
Love you like the rain, that falls much faster
Living in a piece of ever after
Forever after
Living in the piece of ever after
Ever after, ever after

If you will have me
I'll make you happy
Need someone to whom I can belong
Here's my confession
Saving it special
Hoped it would be you all along
All along
All along
All along

[Chorus]