Funny

Page 1397

Funny how your mind works.

The more you think you'll mess up,

The more likely you will.

I've come to a point where I'm just..

Laughing it off.

Because life is so ironic.

And unpredictable.

And I cant be bothered anymore.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Zedd & Jasmine Thompson - Funny

The curtains are closed now
Nothing to see
But a dozen dying roses at our feet
Your timing is perfect
Ironic to me
Showing up the moment that you shouldn't be

Last time I checked
You're the one that left
Last words you said
That you couldn't care less

It's funny how you miss me more than you could ever love me
How you couldn't give me everything and now you want it from me
Yeah, it's funny how it's different now that I got somebody
Yeah it's funny
Ooh
Yeah it's funny, funny how you, how you, answer, answer, answer
'Cause his lips seem, lips seem, lips seem, both my hands are on his body
Yeah it's funny how it's different now that I got somebody
Yeah it's funny
Ooh

Sending a message
Through mutual friends
It's like I'm talking to you using them
You heard I was happy
And I heard you're not
I guess freedom didn't free you like you thought

Last time I checked
You're the one that left
Last words you said
That you couldn't care less

It's funny how you miss me more than you could ever love me
How you couldn't give me everything and now you want it from me
Yeah, it's funny how it's different now that I got somebody
Yeah it's funny
Ooh
Yeah it's funny, funny how you, how you, answer, answer, answer
'Cause his lips seem, lips seem, lips seem, both my hands are on his body
Yeah it's funny how it's different now that I got somebody
Yeah it's funny
Ooh

It's funny how you miss me more than you could ever love me
How you couldn't give me everything and now you want it from me
Yeah, it's funny how it's different now that I got somebody
Yeah it's funny
Ooh
It's funny how you're calling couldn't answer if I wanted
'Cause his lips are on my lips and both my hands are on his body
Yeah it's funny how it's different now that I got somebody
Yeah it's funny
Ooh

Yeah it's funny, funny how you, how you, answer, answer, answer
'Cause his lips seem, lips seem, lips seem, both my hands are on his body
Yeah, it's funny how it's different now that I got somebody
Yeah it's funny
Ooh

Who's laughing now?
Who's laughing now?
Who's laughing now?
Who's laughing now?
Ooh

Brightest Blue

Page 1396

Another week has passed.

And things have been much better lately

Weekends felt short, but was well-spent.

Gotta make the most out of it :)

Took a walk at JEMS today.

Even though the weather was hot, it was nice to be out again.

Fresh air.

Had coffee.

Walked around.

And just.. soaked in the moment.

Thankful.

It's just important to count your blessings and to stay.. grounded.

Everything will always fall in place.

Patience.

And just embrace. The brightest blue. 

Love, Eran.

PS. Loving this song so much. Strings <3

Current Song Mood: Ellie Goulding - Brightest Blue

Everything is heightened now
It's looking so much brighter now
I was lost and now I'm found
Fell off the merry-go-round
I was in the politics
Obsessed with things I couldn't fix
Kissing bigger with a fist
Addicted to the thrill of it

And with these colors fading
People changing feelings
Faking some kind of love
A different flavor, seek the danger
Feel new life rush into my blood
Illuminated never shaded
See the future when I look in the sky
When I look in the sky, you give me
You give me

The brightest blue, the brightest blue
Tonight give me the brightest blue
The brightest blue, so bright

There's no blue in the odyssey
Even in the calmest seas
Now it's all I wanna be
A semi-precious mystery
Yeah I love me more than you
Doesn't mean I can't be true
Slip into the blue lagoons
I could be your muse

Times are hard, people scarred
We don't know if we're gonna fight
Break a heart, play the card
We just came along for the ride
But in the dark, you're the spark
See the future when I look in your eyes
Cause you've given me, you give me
You give me

The brightest blue, the brightest blue
Tonight give me the brightest blue
The brightest blue, so bright

Don't you worry about the future
Cause this is the blue evolution
I don't think this love's an illusion
So let's wake up
Don't you worry about the future
Cause this is the blue evolution
I finally see you're my greatest
You're my greatest revelation

The brightest blue, the brightest blue
Tonight give me the brightest blue
The brightest blue, so bright

Easy

Page 1395

Still grasping what I heard today.

In the car, on the way back home.

It was like a therapy session.

This always happens.

People trusting me, and somehow telling me about their problems.

I told you, I'm a sponge.

This one was heavy.

And I could see from the look in her eyes, that she was really traumatised.

I just listened. And empathised.

I'm sorry.

It's not easy.

But time.. will heal.

At least sharing it.. maybe you'll get some of that baggage off your shoulders.

Thank you for trusting me.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Troye Sivan - Easy

You ran away to find something to say
I went astray to make it okay, and he made it easy, darlin'
I'm still in love and I say that because
I know how it seems between you and me, it hasn't been easy, darlin'

I can't even look at you
Would you look at the space just next to your feet?
The wood is warping
The lines distorting
This house is on fire, woo!
Burning the tears right off my face
What the hell did we do?
Tell me we'll make it through

'Cause he made it easy
Easy
Please don't leave me
Leave me

What's left of the dance? That's all on my hands
The rock in my throat, a hair on my coat
The stranger at home, my darlin'
(Like some kind of freak, my darlin')
Now I'm vulnerable, so sad and alone
But don't cry for me, 'cause everyone knows
You reap what you sow, my darlin'
Uh-yeah, yeah, yeah

I can't even look at you
Would you look at the space just next to your feet?
The wood is warping
The lines distorting
This house is on fire, woo!
Burning the tears right off my face
What the hell did we do?
Tell me we'll make it through

'Cause he made it easy
Easy
Please don't leave me
Don't leave me

(He made it easy)
(Please don't leave me)
(He made it easy)
(Please don't leave me)

I can't even look at you
Would you look at the space just next to your feet?
The wood is warping
The lines distorting
This house is on fire, woo!
Burning the tears right off my face
What the hell did we do?
Tell me we'll make it through

'Cause he made it easy
Easy
Please don't leave me, no
Don't leave me

(He made it easy)
(Please don't leave me)
(He made it easy)
(Please don't leave me)

Small Things

Page 1394

I guess I've been getting better at holding things in.

All the small things.

That are actually huge.

Because sometimes.

Sometimes I just feel like breaking down.

Or bursting out in anger.

I try to contain it.

And it's not healthy.

For me. For my head.

Maybe my partner's dad was right.

Maybe I do have a lot of anger in me.

Unresolved anger from the past.

That I just keep hidden away.

Current mood?

I'm currently having a panic attack.

From all the personal attacks I've been having the entire day.

From my Mum - to my Partner.

It seems like I cant have proper conversations without triggering anyone.

So I'm just gonna keep quiet.

Maybe I'm supposed to be a superhero that absorbs all your emotions.

But I am human too.

And there's only so much I can take.

And I will back away.. if I have to.

I just need some time on my own.

Don't ask me how I'm doing.

Because right now, I feel like absolute shit.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Small Things

Heard your name
Just as I was heading home the other day
And I swear I couldn't even sit up straight
I swallowed hard
I found a shirt
Cleaning my apartment and it made it worse
And I swear you couldn't even see the hurt
I swallowed hard

Now when my friends ask how I'm doing
I say I'm great now, but the truth is

I'm getting good at holding it in
All my emotions, all my feelings
But the more that I fight them, the bigger they seem
What really kills me is all the small things

I saw your car
Wasn't you, but for a minute I thought it was
Swear to God, I almost didn't think of us
I swallowed hard

And when my friends ask how I'm doing
I say I'm great now, but the truth is

I'm getting good at holding it in
All my emotions, all my feelings
But the more that I fight them, the bigger they seem
What really kills me is all the small things

All the small things
Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh, ooh, yeah

This city has your fingerprints all over it
And I can't even think about how some day she will too
And I know I'll get over it 'cause that's just what I'll do
But what really kills me is everything you get used to

I'm getting good at holding it in
All my emotions, all my feelings
But the more that I fight them, the bigger they seem
What really kills me is all the small things

Ooh, it's always just the small things
Yeah

If I Die Young // Songbird

Page 1393

Don't really know where to begin...

Today was a really sombre day.

Actually, it started since yesterday.

Found out one of my patients passed away.

I was taken aback.

You'd think after years of facing death all the time, you'd get used to it.

But no, this was.. pretty hard to accept.

Especially when they're nice people.

I just pitied her old husband.

He must be so heartbroken...

(They were the couple I talked about on the recent Stars & Velvet post)

Today, I woke up to the news that they found Naya Rivera's body.

My heart shattered.

And I had a sick pitting feeling in my guts & goosebumps just thinking about it.

To think her last few Twitter posts were last words.

And they were inspirational and full of love.

I watched her play Santana on Glee throughout my teenage years.

And she made such a significant impact on that show.

She was fearless, confident, and just... beautiful.

And now she's gone.

Today was coincidentally Cory Monteith's 7 year Death Anniversary.

Should it even be called an Anniversary?

Feels kinda weird to say it.

It's just... too eerily coincidental.

And I'm at loss for words.

Naya, I don't know you personally, but your loss is so tragic.

You left behind a son and heartbroken people who loved you.

Gone too soon.

You will be remembered.

And I hope... you Rest In Peace. ❤️

Love, Eran.

Naya covered so many beautiful songs on Glee. And these are the ones that really touched me.

 Glee - If I Die Young

Glee - Songbird

Cursive

Page 1392

Been a rough week..

And having a couple of sleepless nights.

Anxiety just creeps up to you.

And clings.

With things you've done wrong.

Replaying in your head.

Over and over again.

A cursive line.

And a sudden swerve.

Suddenly everything is unstable.

And you just beat yourself up about it.

Thinking about what happened.

What could've happened.

Today, I faced those fears again.

And punched it in the face.

It felt good.

To steer your life back into place.

But it's never an excuse to be complacent.

I could.. never.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Billie Marten - Cursive 

I write in cursive lines
And I need the help
I miss the shoulder of knowing
Nothing else

And I will never be
I will never be myself
I will never be
I will never be too well

I'd walk the corners
Of my empty mind
But I'm full of darkness
With the loneliest of light

And I will never be
I will never be myself
I will never be
I will never be too well

And we'll be fine, there is an end
It hurts to fall back again
And we'll be fine, I promise, oh
It hurts to fall back so low
And we'll be fine, there is an end
It hurts to fall back again
And we'll be fine, I promise, oh
It hurts to fall back so low, back so low

We will always be
We always be alright
We will always be
We will always be

Biting My Tongue

Page 1391

It's been quite a week.

I've been smoking more than usual.

Work has been piling up and getting me overwhelmed.

I guess it's just part of it all.

Once you're confirmed - everyone starts pushing things to you.

I don't mind.

I think I can handle it.

Just.. give me time.

I have to learn anyway.

I'm so used to biting my tongue.

And keeping my head down, and working quietly.

Met up with Buddy yesterday.

It's been a while.

We caught up and talked about our lives, politics, music.

He shared about his problems.

I felt that. 

My only advise was - to count our blessings.

In this uncertain period.

It's not easy. But the only way out is through.

We'll get through this.

We even planned on doing songs together.

That'd be nice.

We're not gonna be young & carefree forever.

So might as well, right?

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: The Veronicas - Biting My Tongue 

I've been there biting my tongue
Tryna hold on to what I'm feeling
'Cause I know that it's safe in my head
You got my heart beating so loud
Wanna scream out my lips are silent
I'm sick of fighting it

I feel the rush rising up to the back of my throat
I can't hide
I can't get enough of the way that you're looking at me
With those eyes

I really wanna say this
I don't wanna lose this
Thing that we got
I'm just telling you how I feel
'Cause if you walk away and
I don't get to say it
I don't know what would I, what would I, what would I do?
I can't live without you

What would I, what would I, what would I do?
I can't live without you
What would I, what would I, what would I do?
I can't live without you

I swore to myself
There ain't no doubt
We're keeping love out
I wasn't strong enough
I didn't see it coming at all
Letting you in
Under my skin
Then I give in
Like fool in love
But I tried fooling us

Can't lie to myself again
Can feel that we're more than friends
But I choke up every time

I really wanna say this
I don't wanna lose this
Thing that we got
I'm just telling you how I feel
'Cause if you walk away and
I don't get to say it
I don't know what would I, what would I, what would I do?
I can't live without you

What would I, what would I, what would I do?
I can't live without you
I don't know what would I, what would I, what would I do?

I really wanna say this
I don't wanna risk this
Thing that we got
But if you walk away and
I don't get to say it
I don't know what what I would do
I can't live without you
I can't live without you
I can't live without you

I don't know what would I, what would I, what would I do?
I can't live without you
I don't know what would I, what would I, what would I do?
I can't live without you