Warm Water

Page 364

A genuine, sweet smile.

Is all that takes to make my heart feel warm.

You caught my attention somehow.

You made me curious.

And I hope to see you around more.

------------------------------------------------------------

4 days of work straight is no joke hahaha. My legs are so sore by now. Was literally limping the whole day lol.

I'm so glad I've been meeting lots of new, interesting people lately. 

I dont regret working at all :)

And I must admit, I'm kinda bummed it's ending soon.

There's so much difference then when I was having my internship back in Dec-February.

Really.

Today otw to work, I reminisced about the moments when I was heading to work then. I could feel it clearly. Even the times when I went to baby's house on my day offs. Hehe.

Speaking of which, I can't wait to see you again soon Baby. <3 Lubchu.

Back on the work topic, I'm actually bummed that I can't continue working. Heh. The money's good. Plus I've really gotten closer with the crew there.

There's really lots of great people here who look out for each other. A lovely bunch.

I like that.

And then there's the bitches hahahah. But I won't go into that.

Gonna cherish my last few days.

:)

Love, Eran.

Come over.

Current Song Mood: BANKS - Warm Water

Looking you over,
and you don't know my name yet…
But by the time you looked away
already knew I couldn't fake it

I got this need for you forming in my beating heart
I knew the meaning right away, we only yesterday
were worlds apart

I think I may love you, if you give me some time,
maybe you'll love me too…

I got this thing for you
if you come closer I can whisper in your ear
and if you wanna walk away
I'll tell you all the things I know you wanna hear.

I'll come closer
to you if you
come over
I know we'll go farther
farther with you
with you I'm in warm water swimming down.

I think I may love you, if you give me some time,
maybe you'll love me too…

I'll come closer
to you if you
come over
I know we'll go farther
farther with you
with you I'm in warm water swimming down.

I'll come closer
to you if you
come over
I know we'll go farther
farther with you
with you I'm in warm water swimming down.

Unstoppable

Page 363

This morning I had lost all hope.

But this afternoon I found it again.

Redha.

I don't wish to pursue it any further. Even though I have my doubts. I'll keep it to myself.

It's the only way to make peace.

It's scary how your mood can suddenly change.

I don't wish to go through this again.

It affects me so much.

For now, I am contented. 

That you're still talking to me.

That's all that matters.

You being in my life.

Together..

We're unstoppable.

Love, Eran.

I don't ever want us to stop.

Current Song Mood: Lianne La Havas

I'll wait a little longer
We're weak and getting stronger
I know it's taking the time to heal
We'll be unstoppable
Don't know what I did it for
I needed to know that it was always real

My head's held high when we walk down the line, honey
Arm-in-arm through the clear night sky
Let's be at peace, we'll fly
Our hearts collide
Can't escape the magnetic side

I was like a satellite spinning away
Almost lost forever and leaving no trace
Floating through the darkest reaches of space
To another galaxy
Our polarity shifted around
There is nothing else left holding us down
But it's just gravitational
We are unstoppable
I just can't escape the pull
We are unstoppable
It's just gravitational
We are unstoppable

My head's held high when we walk down the line, honey
Arm-in-arm through the clear night sky
Let's be at peace, we'll fly
Our hearts collide
Can't escape the magnetic side

I was like a satellite spinning away
Almost lost forever and leaving no trace
Floating through the darkest reaches of space
To another galaxy
Our polarity shifted around
There is nothing else left holding us down
But it's just gravitational
We are unstoppable
I just can't escape the pull
We are unstoppable
It's just gravitational
We are unstoppable

The stars will guide the way
In the dead of space
You will be my one and only
We are unstoppable
We are unstoppable
We are unstoppable
We are unstoppable
The stars will guide the way
In the dead of space
You will be my one and only

Grand Piano

Page 362

I can't do this anymore.

I'm completely losing it.

I'm at one of my lowest tonight.

I don't even have the words to say.

Whether it's a joke, or some kind of sick twisted humour of yours, its not for me.

Um, yeah.

I broke down in the toilet obviously…

Teary as I'm typing this.

I can't recall the number of times you've made me cry.

Heh. No one's made me this upset this much.

I couldnt work properly.

I basically had to hide myself every time I felt.. overcome with emotions.

I just don't know why you're doing this to me?

I dont understand.

Even though I've been so patient and tolerable for so long

For far too long actually.

Completely taken for granted.

Even after I've done so much. Given so much.

I dont wanna say anything else because, theres really nothing to say.

There's just too much heartache I'm facing right now.

Smiling at myself right now because I feel like such a fool.

You play my feelings like a grand piano.

So yeah, keep on playing. Go ahead. 

I have nothing else to lose anyway.

Love, Eran.

I'm just.. a fool.

Current Song Mood: Nicki Minaj - Grand Piano

[Verse 1:]
Am I just a fool?
Blind and stupid for loving you
Am I just a silly girl?
So young and naíve to think you were the one who came to take claim of this heart
Cold-hearted, shame you'll remain just a frame in the dark

[Chorus:]
(And now the people)
The people are talking, the people are saying
That you have been playing my heart like a grand piano
The people are talking, the people are saying
That you have been playing my heart like a grand piano
So play on, play on, play on
Play on, play on, play on
Play on, play on, play on
Play on, play on

[Verse 2:]
Am I queen of fools?
Wrapped up in lies and foolish jewels
What do I see in you?
Maybe I'm addicted to all the things you do
'Cause I keep thinking you were the one who came to take claim of this heart
Cold-hearted, shame you'll remain just a frame in the dark

[Chorus:]
The people are talking, the people are saying
That you have been playing my heart like a grand piano
The people are talking, the people are saying
That you have been playing my heart like a grand piano
So play on, play on, play on
Play on, play on, play on
Play on, play on, play on
Play on, play on

Thousand Miles

Page 361

Working on Mondays is just.. crazy. Everything's hectic and busy hahaha. I should've expected that.

And I was extra tired because I went to work out 2-3 hours before my shift?? Hahaha I must be mad.

My legs are hella sore right now. Cheers to the next 3 days ugh.

I've been missing you so much but I guess you've been doing fine huh.

Sometimes I wonder.. do you miss me the way I miss you?

We've never been this apart much before.

Yet you never leave my mind each day.

I just wish you'd give me the attention you used to.

I miss it..

Not even a thousand miles can separate my love for you.

Ps. I'm glad you're back now.

Love, Eran.

I wanna get you back.

Current Song Mood: Tove Lo - Thousand Miles

Too far away to feel you
But I can't forget your skin
Wonder what you're up too
What state of mind you're in
Are you thinking bout the last time
Your lips all over me
'Cause I play it and I rewind
Where you are I wanna be

Wanna fly to you like birds do
Straight across the world
My body, your hands ooh
And I'm missing every word
You are mine, yeah you say so
When you call me late nights
But I wonder how should I know
You're in love enough to fight

Fading away, when you're drunk and alone?
Can't see my face in your heart anymore
Telling yourself you don't feel like before?

That's when I run
All of these thousand miles
That's when I run
All of these thousand miles
To get you back
Coming for you, babe, I'm coming now
That's when I run
All of these thousand miles
To get you back

Wrapped around your fingers
Let you dive into my love
You remember all my triggers
The physical and stuff
Back and forth forever
Is it how it's gonna be
Even when we're not together
Will you stay with me?

Fading away, when you're drunk and alone?
Can't see my face in your heart anymore
Telling yourself you don't feel like before?

And that's when I run
All of these thousand miles
That's when I run
All of these thousand miles
To get you back
Coming for you, babe, I'm coming now
That's when I run
All of these, all of these thousand miles
To get you back

All of these, all of these thousand miles
To get you back
All of these, all of these thousand miles

All of these, all of these thousand miles
To get you back
All of these, all of these thousand miles

And that's when I run
All of these thousand miles
That's when I run
All of these thousand miles
To get you back
Coming for you, babe, I'm coming now

That's when I run
All of these, all of these thousand miles
To get you back

All of these, all of these thousand miles
To get you back
All of these, all of these thousand miles

All of these, all of these thousand miles
To get you back
All of these, all of these thousand miles

Timebomb

Page 360

Well.. I don't know where to start.

Did some visitings today, my aunt's neighbour's house whom her and her children were also my Mum's students. I was really impressed with how her house was laid out. So wide!!! And the family were a perfect bunch. The husband - a Malay guy, was really hostable and nice. And I could tell he really loved his daughters. #goals hahaha.

My Mum looked at me and told me to find an ang moh wife like her student. HAHAHA. Please eh. 

I really enjoyed the food, her salsa reminded me of the times when Syah used to make for us in class and we'd eat it with potato chips hehehe. Good times..

Received some pretty sudden & surprising, but at the same time, expected news today. I'm really really happy for you GF. <3 You deserve this so much.

I feel like Life is moving too fast. Every one of my friends are working, schooling, getting married, in ns. It's like.. so fast. Am I still far behind? It's so scary to think about. The future…

It's so uncertain.

I don't know what's up with my life. 

It's like I'm… frozen.

Just going with the flow..

I need a timebomb. To wake me up.

 I need to get myself together.

Love, Eran.

We're not forever.

But we could be the best thing ever.

Current Song Mood: Tove Lo - Timebomb

You made your way in as I was leaving
You cut in line just as I was getting my stuff
And I couldn't decide if you were the most annoying human being I'd ever met
Or just the best thing that ever happened
Just the best thing that ever happened

You took the key out of the ignition
I could hear the rain on the windows
Right then and there I made up my mind to just go with it -
Thinking what's the worst thing that could happen?
When the worst thing that could happen, could be the best thing ever

We're not forever you're not the one
We're not forever you're not the one
We're not forever you're not the one
You and I could be the best thing ever

We're not happily ever after
We don't got what it takes
And we don't make plans
Cause we're never gonna last

We're not forever you're not the one
You and I, we're a timebomb
Bomb bomb bomb
Bomb bomb bomb bomb
We're not forever you're not the one
You and I, we're a timebomb (Bomb bomb bomb bomb...)

I shut the door and I don't look back
When something this good comes along you're better off letting the first time be the last time, but really?
What's the worst thing that could happen
When the worst thing that could happen
Could be the best thing ever

We're not forever you're not the one
We're not forever you're not the one
We're not forever you're not the one
You and I could be the best thing ever

We're not happily ever after
We don't got what it takes
And we don't make plans
Cause we're never gonna last

We're not forever you're not the one
You and I, we're a timebomb
Bomb bomb bomb
Bomb bomb bomb bomb
We're not forever you're not the one
You and I, we're a timebomb (Bomb bomb bomb bomb...)

Ooh, we could be the best thing ever

Oh we, could be (we could be the best thing ever)
The best, thing, ever (we could be the best thing ever)

Ooh, forever (we could be the best thing ever)
Oh we (we're not forever), could be (your not the one), the best
You and I, we're a timebomb
Bomb bomb bomb
Bomb bomb bomb bomb
We're not forever
You're not the one
You and I, we're a timebomb (Bomb bomb bomb bomb...)

Tenerife Sea

Page 359

Haha sorry for a delay in post, but my Baby Boo (lappy) was down since last night. Oh gosh. So glad it's up and running right now after a few tips I read from the internet. Please don't die on me again ._.

Well anyways, it was super busy yesterday.

Morning before we left - sought forgiveness from parents. Hahahaha. Its a damn awkward moment for me and every year it's the same thing. And my Mum always cries hahaha.

Solat Aidilfitri in the morning. It was fine, and seemed quick to me because by this age, I know the routine and stuff haha.

Afternoon- Solat Jumaat pulak. I really feel that Hari Raya on Fridays is such a burden hahaha. Cause first foremost, have to go to the mosque 2 times. Secondly, its a public holiday, so it was damn full, and I had pray go outside. Plus I hate being in crowded areas. Thirdly, it happened to rain really hard. Hahaha, and the ground was wet? And then moments later it was scorching hot. Totally a bad experience. Hahaha, but I guess, I've been to similar shitty situations.

Went to Grandma's for a while to have a drink and relaxed a bit, then went home to change. I wore the outfit my girls chose for me. Lets say, I was pretty impressed. HAHA! All my life, I've never worn my own samping and songkok for Raya. So it was a big difference for me. It means Syaheeran means business okay!! LOL. I really looked 'Melayu' for once hahahaa. My Mum was like 'Eh cantiknyaaaaa!' 

Hahaha. Told her who picked for me and she was like;

Girl or boy?

Me: Girl.

Her: Ooooooh, girl eh? Ada matair tak?

Me: Ummm NO.

Her: Cepat matair ah, mak tak kesah lepas ns boleh kahwin je.

HAHAHA omg okaaay. Mum's giving me the green light to get a gf and hurrying me to get married ._.

Not so fast ok? Hahaha.

Went to Grandma's and met with the relatives. Gosh I always get impressed on how my cousins have changed over the past year. And of my cousin really lost a lot of weight! I was so shocked. Honestly. Time for a no-rice diet (Say only hahaha).

<3

Overall the day was alright. Same routine every year. With some families leaving early due to other visitings to do. Pfft. Expected la actually..  And Idk why i'd dress up so much cause I know it's only for a few hours? Hahaha. I'm usually not bothered to dress up, but this year was a nice change. A few people complimenting on my attire here and there. Laughters and fun with the kiddos. Duit raya. *winkwink* Haha it was pretty okaaaay.

Looking forward to more visitings the next couple weeks. And mahneh hehehe.

Just gonna rest today.

I miss you so much. Come back fasterrrr.

Love, Eran.

Even if we're seas apart, I'm still here thinking about you.

Current Song Mood: Ed Sheeran - Tenerife Sea

You look so wonderful in your dress
I love your hair like that
The way it falls on the side of your neck
Down your shoulders and back

We are surrounded by all of these lies
And people who talk too much
You got the kind of look in your eyes
As if no one knows anything but us

Should this be the last thing I see
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need

I'm so in love, so in love
So in love, so in love

You look so beautiful in this light
Your silhouette over me
The way it brings out the blue in your eyes
Is the Tenerife Sea

And all of the voices surrounding us here
They just fade out when you take a breath
Just say the word and I will disappear
Into the wilderness

Should this be the last thing I see
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need

I'm so in love, so in love
So in love, so in love

[6x:]
Lumière, darling
Lumière over me

Should this be the last thing I see
I want you to know it's enough for me
'Cause all that you are is all that I'll ever need

I'm so in love, so in love
So in love, love, love, love,
So in love

You look so wonderful in your dress
I love your hair like that
And in a moment I knew you, Beth

a beautiful exit

Page 358

So Ramadhan has officially left us.

I have like mixed feelings about it. It's the only time where I feel in touch with my spiritual self. Seriously.

I love how bonded the community feels. From solat terawih, to Geylang bazaars. It feels so lively. I'm gonna miss that.

It wasn't easy though, fasting has been smooth, but there were challenges faced definitely (falling sick on the first few days, working, controlling the urge to cry etc) haha.

Proud that I've managed to complete it fully.

And I believe I've done a pretty good job this year. Better than last year at least.

Don't know why I feel so semangat to raya this year.

I guess its because you are too..

Or maybe because I don't have much time left….

It's a beautiful exit.

Goodbye Ramadhan.

Until we meet again next year.

Selamat Hari Raya & Maaf Zahir & Batin. 

<3

---------------------------------------------

Been so annoyed today cause it seems like you're purposely trying to piss me off.

But hey, I'm happy that you're having fun over there with your family. 

Enjoy…

Love, Eran.

Come back fast.

Current Song Mood: Miguel - a beautiful exit

[News Reporter:] We begin with breaking news here at 5 O' clock of...

Don't ever sell yourself short, sell your sad things
Accept the new, don't mingle on the past
Believe yourself, trust your intuition
You're here for a reason, you know

Speeding through all of these red lights, fast life
Dreaming a beautiful exit
We're gonna die young
Speeding through all of these red lights, fast life
Dreaming a beautiful exit
We're gonna die young

Ignore the planned conventions of society
The muted world, doesn't dream in colors
No fear, no shame, wildhearts can't be broken
You're here for a reason, you know

Speeding through all of these red lights, fast life
Dreaming a beautiful exit
We're gonna die young
Speeding through all of these red lights, fast life
Dreaming a beautiful exit
We're gonna die young, we're gonna die young
We're gonna die young, we're gonna die young
We're gonna die young

All our problems were so extra small to astronauts
You can ditch the tangled patterns known by your parents
Sleep make me your only chance to rule yourself
You're here for a reason, you know

[News Reporter:] Gonna continue, really has no other choice but to just keep riding