Big Fat Lie

Page 185

I really cannot.

I don't know how long I can handle this.

This constant mental stress.

And surprisingly, its not about relationships or love. But work.

Being constantly shot down each day, and no motivation for me to do better at all.

Everyone was so fucking harsh today. And it got me peeved off.

Sometimes I look at other people's lives.. and they're having it so good. Laughing and smiling.

And then I look at myself.. and I'm like 'FML.'

I don't know how I'm gonna survive the next 2 months.

I keep lying to myself.

That it'll all be okay.

That I'll be alright.

That I'll make it.

But it's so tough.

It feels like..

I'm living a big fat lie.

Love, Eran.

I don't know how long I can keep going like this.

Current Song Mood: Nicole Scherzinger - Big Fat Lie

I ain't never had my heart broken
When I say that, I should start choking
I could say I never lacked a father figure
But I only seek out men to be my father figure

I'm never alone, I'm so famous
But still I'm prescribed pills to make it painless
I'm so pretty, huh, got it so goodie, huh
California days, they say it never rains

But why does it seems my make-up's never dry
And if my life's like a perfect sky
Why I feel gray inside?
And if I'm living such a wonderful high
Why don't I feel alive

But I'm a keep my tears to me
But the truth between me and you
Just know I'm living a big fat lie

Lie, lie, lie, lie
You know I love to lie
Lie, lie, lie, lie
I'm living a big fat lie

Lie, lie, lie, lie
You know I love to lie
If you look past my features, just a little deeper
I'm living a big fat lie

Airbrush on my pictures
Make my legs a little thinner
Eyes just a little lighter
Now make my ass just a little bigger

Yeah, now autotune my tone
Big smile, take a bow
Go with it, read the prompter
California days, they say it never rains

But why does it seems my make-up's never dry
And if my life's like a perfect sky
Why I feel gray inside?
And if I'm living such a wonderful high
Why don't I feel alive

But I'm a keep my tears to me
But the truth between me and you
Just know I'm living a big fat lie

Lie, lie, lie, lie
You know I love to lie
Lie, lie, lie, lie
I'm living a big fat lie

Lie, lie, lie, lie
You know I love to lie
If you look past my features, just a little deeper
I'm living a big fat lie

Only a problem has all the answers
That's the secret
And I don't wanna fail you
But I wish I could tell you
It's our little secret
(You know I love to lie)
Lie, lie, lie, lie
You know I love to lie

(You know I love to lie)
Lie, lie, lie, lie
I'm living a big fat lie

(You know I love to lie)
Lie, lie, lie, lie
You know I love to lie

If you look past my features, just a little deeper
I'm living a big fat lie