Sober II (Melodrama)

Page 805

Sober II.

Tried my best to understand you.

And I guess I figured you out.

You're not into this scene.

You're different.

You don't want anything to do with this.

Yet, you're still here.

Maybe.. you're just like me.

Cant help it right?

Such a shame.

Why do I even bother?

It always ends this way.

Enough of Glamour.

Trauma.

&

Melodrama.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lorde - Sober II

You asked if I was feeling it
I'm psycho high
Know you won't remember in the morning
When I speak my mind
Lights are on and they've gone home
But who am I?
Oh how fast the evening passes
Cleaning up the champagne glasses

We told you this was melodrama
(Oh how fast the evening passes
Cleaning up the champagne glasses)
Our only wish is melodrama
(Oh how fast the evening passes)
(Cleaning up the champagne glasses)

And the terror, and the horror
Then we wonder why we bother
Wow, oh, wow
And the terror, and the horror
Gotta wonder why we bother (Oh, oh-oh)
All the glamour, and the trauma
And the fucking melodrama (Oh, oh-oh)
All the gunfights, and the limelights
And the holy sick divine nights (Oh)
They'll talk about us, all the lovers
How we kissed and killed each other (Oh)
They'll talk about us, and discover
How we kissed and killed each other (Oh)
(Talk about it)

We told you this was melodrama
You wanted something that we offered
We told you this was melodrama
You wanted something that we offered
We told you this was melodrama
You wanted something that we offered
We told you this was melodrama
You wanted something that we offered
We told you this was melodrama
We told you this was melodrama

Sober

Page 804

Been stuck at home nursing my damn fever.

Ugh.

I hate feeling weak and shit.

But gotta let my body rest & stay hydrated.

Oh well.

Feeling much sober now.

Lots of missed opportunities.

Guess I have to be grateful.

Last year was way worse...

First day of fasting month, and I was in Brunei.

Almost died man.

Can't believe it's been so long.

The end is near.

Might just lose my mind.

Love, Eran

Current Song Mood: Lorde - Sober

Night, midnight, lose my mind
Night, midnight, lose my mind
Night, midnight, lose my mind
(When you get to my high, when you get to my)
Night, midnight

Oh, God, I'm clean out of air in my lungs
It's all gone
Played it so nonchalant
It's time we danced with the truth
Move alone with the truth
Ooh (hey)
We're sleeping through all the days
I'm acting like I don't see
Every ribbon you used to tie yourself to me

But my hips have missed your hips
So, let's get to know the kicks
Will you sway with me?
Go astray with me?
(Ah ha)

We're King and Queen of the weekend
Ain't a pill that could touch our rush
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
When you dream with a fever
Bet you wish you could touch our rush
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
These are the games of the weekend
We pretend that we just don't care
But we care
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
When you dream with a fever
Bet you wish you could touch our rush
(But what will we do when we're sober?)

Oh, God, I'm closing my teeth
Around this liquor-wet lime
Midnight, lose my mind
I know you're feeling it too
Can we keep up with the ruse?
Ah ah (hey)
B-bodies all through my house
I know this story by heart:
Jack and Jill get fucked up and possessive
When it get dark

But my hips have missed your hips
So, let's get to know the kicks
Will you sway with me?
Go astray with me?
(Ah ha)

We're King and Queen of the Weekend
Ain't a pill that could touch our rush
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
When you dream with a fever
Bet you wish you could touch our rush
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
These are the games of the weekend
We pretend that we just don't care
But we care
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
When you dream with a fever
Bet you wish you could touch our rush
(But what will we do when we're sober?)

Midnight, we're fading
'Til daylight, we're jaded
We know that it's over
In the morning, you'll be dancing with all the heartache
And the treason, the fantasies of leaving
But we know that, when it's over
In the morning, you'll be dancing with us
(Midnight, lose my mind, midnight, lose my mind)
Oh, dancing with us, oh, dancing with us
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
Oh, you'll be dancing with us
(Can you feel it? Can you feel it?)
Dancing with us, us
(But what will we do when we're sober?)
Us

When you get to my high (midnight, lose my mind)
When you get to my (midnight, lose my mind)

Grudges

Page 803

Well, I don't have much to say about it.

Just that.. There's no point in holding on to grudges.

I felt that way today.

Just minding my own business.

Doing my own stuff.

Let's just pick up and start again.

Even though it's hard, I know.

At least we've started small chats again.

That's good enough for me, yeah?

Yeah.

Love, Eran.

Why did it take so long?

Current Song Mood: Paramore - Grudges

Strange how we found ourselves exactly where we left off
I know you're shaking my hand like it is the first time
Are we alright?
Are you recounting all my faults?
And are you racking your brain just to find them all?
Could it be that I've changed or did you?

Stop asking why
Why we had to waste so much time
Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again
'Cause we can't keep holding on to grudges

Time is a bastard I won't break my neck to get around it
But aren't we so brave to give up a fight
And let the years go by without us
'Cause now I feel you by my side
And I don't even care if it's been a while
I can feel that we've changed and we're better this way

Stop asking why
Why we had to waste so much time
Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again
'Cause we can't keep holding on to grudges

And if you wanna call me up or come over
Come on, we'll laugh 'till we cry
Like we did when we were kids
'Cause we can't keep holding on to grudges

Why did it take so long?
Why did it take so long?
Why did it take us so long to just let go?
Why did it take us so long to stop holding on?

Stop asking why
Why we had to waste so much time
Well, we just pick up, pick up and start again
'Cause can't keep holding on to grudges

And if you wanna call me up or come over
Come on we'll laugh till we cry
Like we did when we were kids
'Cause we can't keep holding on to grudges
We can't keep keep holding on to grudges
Could it be that I've changed or did you?

Heartlines

Page 802

I said this to a stranger today.

'Everybody has somebody.'

And yet I'm still here.

Have you ever felt like...

You don't fit in?

Like you're a different soul.

Nobody is like you.

Nobody.. understands.

We all have..

Different heartlines.

It's okay to be different.

It's okay to be yourself.

But you can't help but wonder.

Is there someone out there like you?

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Broods - Heartlines 

We could fool the datelines
We could jump the statelines
I don't always play nice
But I wanna feel your heartlines
I wanna feel your heart

Have you been let down by the ones before?
Do you leave too soon to know?
Never fell in love cause I just cut loose
But not when it comes to you

Dressing in black, you're around for the weekend
Dancing at night, you're the light that I won't let go
And I want you close

We could fool the datelines
We could jump the statelines
I don't always play nice
But I wanna feel your heartlines
I'll pick you up at midnight
We'll run to beat the sunlight
We only get the one life
And I wanna feel your heartlines
I wanna feel your heart

Now we're far apart, in and out of touch
And the words don't mean as much
So I sit across from someone new
But they don't compare to you

Lying in bed wide awake, I remember
Dancing at night, you're the light that I won't let go
And I want you close

We could fool the datelines
We could jump the statelines
I don't always play nice
But I wanna feel your heartlines
I'll pick you up at midnight
We'll run to beat the sunlight
We only get the one life
And I wanna feel your heartlines
I wanna feel your heartlines

Lying in bed wide awake, I remember
I feel
Dressing in black, you were here for the weekend
And I won't let go
Cause I want you close

We could fool the datelines
We could jump the statelines
I don't always play nice
But I wanna feel your heartlines
I'll pick you up at midnight
We'll run to beat the sunlight
We only get the one life
And I wanna feel your heartlines
We could fool the datelines
We could jump the statelines
I don't always play nice
But I wanna feel your heartlines
I wanna feel your heartlines
I wanna feel your heartlines
I wanna feel your heart

Couldn't Believe

Page 801

I couldn't believe it.

You were here.

You were really here.

And not just in pictures or social media.

You were right in front of me.

Bigger & taller than I'd imagine.

Bubbly and outgoing than I thought.

But then I saw it.

Like how I saw in others.

The real you deep inside.

I wasn't sure how to open up.

But you were easygoing.

I hope that this.. can be a platform for other opportunities.

I believe it can.

I feel it.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Broods - Couldn't Believe

You got the key from under the mat
Took off your coat and hung up your hat
I burnt my fingers trying to help
You burnt the wood, you burnt the wood, you burnt the wood

We hid under blankets of ignorance
Cause that was the only time that it all made sense
You gave me a list of your promises
Listen to this, listen to this, listen to this

And I couldn't believe my eyes
I couldn't believe my ears
I couldn't believe my luck
I couldn't believe you're here

And I couldn’t believe my eyes
I couldn’t believe my ears
But I’m looking at you now
And I can’t believe we’re here

You never kept anyone for long
I was the worst at being alone
You came around when I needed you
Let’s give in to this, give in to this, give in to this

And I couldn't believe my eyes
I couldn't believe my ears
I couldn't believe my luck
I couldn't believe you're here

And I couldn’t believe my eyes
I couldn’t believe my ears
But I’m looking at you now
And I can’t believe we’re here

You care for me
You ask of me
I'll do it

And I couldn't believe my eyes
I couldn't believe my ears
I couldn't believe my luck
I couldn't believe you're here

And I couldn’t believe my eyes
I couldn’t believe my ears
But I’m looking at you now
And I can’t believe we’re here

And I couldn’t believe my eyes
I couldn't believe we're here

Conscious

Page 800

My actions spoke for itself.

My parents felt that.

This morning was the sincerest I've been in years.

And it felt pretty damn good.

I just didnt want to make the same mistake he did.

1 month has passed so fast...

Don't think I've been my best...

I also felt like I havent been putting in much effort as much as I did the past 2 years.

Sigh. I know it.

My cousin gave a spine-tingling speech today.

Made me ponder of the future.

The uncertainties.

But trust.

Wake me up and keep me conscious.

InsyaAllah.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood:  Broods - Conscious

When I come alive, such a pretty light
I can be beautiful, I can be right
I can hold my own when I feel at home
I can be tender, I can be kind

When I'm on my feet, I can take the heat
But when I get low I prefer the cold
I can be a hard light to ignite
All my nightmares feel like real life

Wait for the explosion
Only to anticipate
Running in slow motion
I can never get away
Sweet paralysation
No one here to keep me safe
Hyperventilation
I'm about to go insane
Wake me up and keep me conscious

When I come alive, such a pretty light
I can be beautiful, I can be right
I can be the words, everything that hurts
All the things that keep you up in the night

Everything I fear, always meets me here
In the early hours dancing with my doubts
I can be a hard light to ignite
All my nightmares feel like real life

Wait for the explosion
Only to anticipate
Running in slow motion
I can never get away
Sweet paralysation
No one here to keep me safe
Hyperventilation
I'm about to go insane

Wake me up and keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me

Keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me conscious
Wake me up and keep me conscious

Wake me up and keep me conscious

Wonder Woman

Page 799

Craving that strong feeling again.

Guess that's why last night was ruined on the impulse.

I guess that night still affected me.

Wish I had more interaction.

Wish I had more touch.

But alas, it was all blocked out by someone else.

Shit.

I miss it.

It made me feel..

Out of this world.

And I wanted more.

I wonder...

What would happen if I had the chance?

To get in on the action too.

I'd feel like Wonder Woman.

Wonder if you think of that too.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Wonder Woman

Reminiscing
Touching all the places that your lips were kissing
From the bedroom to the hallway, in the kitchen
Where our fantasies came true
Well, it's been a minute
I went in the studio when you were busy
The tabs on my search bar were so explicit
But I only wanna come for you

Remember when
You used to call me Wonder Woman?
When I gave you good luck
I guess that's still true
Because I wonder
I wonder, I wonder, I do
I catch myself thinking 'bout you
And I wonder if you think about me too
Because I wonder
(I wonder, I wonder)

Was it magic?
Was the energy between us always making static?
And everytime I threw it back boy you'd be there to catch it
Saying nothing else can beat this view
Ooh, don't you miss the way it feels to lose yourself in me?
Drowning in each other's oceans
Nothing tastes as sweet, it's true
I only wanna come for you

Remember when
You used to call me Wonder Woman?
When I gave you good luck
I guess that's still true, you know that's still true
Because I wonder
I wonder, I wonder, I do
I catch myself thinking 'bout you
And I wonder if you think about me too
Because I wonder
(I wonder, I wonder)

I don't wanna think about what you doing with the next chick (no, no)
All I wanna think about is you staying as my (hey)
Got me restless, hella hectic
When I reminisce I'm still loving it
It was like that chronic, bionic, just awesome, love that shit
You know I really miss your body
And you know I really miss your body
Ain't nobody got it like you got it
You got it, you got it good, boy
Drinks on me stop pulling me under
Baby, do you think about me still? 'Cause I wonder

Because I wonder
I wonder, I wonder, I do
I catch myself thinking 'bout you
And I wonder if you think about me too (oh yeah, yeah)
Because I wonder (ooh, ooh)

Oh yeah, yeah
Ooh
Ooh
Do you feel, baby, what I do?

Swish Swish

Page 798

It's been some time now.

Yet you're still the same.

Still the childish person you are.

Heh.

We'll see how long this goes.

What do I care?

I'm just doing my own thing.

What goes around, comes around.

Karma's a bish.

She keeps receipts.

Swish swish bish.

Bye.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Katy Perry Ft Nicki Minaj - Swish Swish

They know what is what
But they don't know what is what
They just strut
What the fuck?

[Katy Perry:]
A tiger
Don't lose no sleep
Don't need opinions
From a shellfish or a sheep
Don't you come for me
No, not today
You're calculated
I got your number
'Cause you're a joker
And I'm a courtside killer queen
And you will kiss the ring
You best believe

So keep calm, honey, I'mma stick around
For more than a minute, get used to it
Funny my name keeps comin' out your mouth
'Cause I stay winning
Lay 'em up like

Swish, swish, bish
Another one in the basket
Can't touch this
Another one in the casket

Your game is tired
You should retire
You're 'bout as cute as
An old coupon expired
And karma's not a liar
She keeps receipts

So keep calm, honey, I'mma stick around
For more than a minute, get used to it
Funny my name keeps comin' out your mouth
'Cause I stay winning
Lay 'em up like

Swish, swish, bish
Another one in the basket
Can't touch this
Another one in the casket
(Let's go)
Swish, swish, bish
Another one in the basket
Can't touch this
Another one in the casket

They know what is what
But they don't know what is what
Katy Perry
They just know what is what
Young Money
But they don't know what is what
They just know what is what
But they don't know what is what
They just strut
Hahaha, yo
What the fuck?

[Nicki Minaj:]
Pink Ferragamo sliders on deck
Silly rap beefs just get me more checks
My life is a movie, I'm never off set
Me and my a-Migos (no, not Offset)
Swish swish, aww I got them upset
But my shooters'll make 'em dance like dubstep
Swish, swish, aww, my haters is obsessed
'Cause I make M's, they get much less
Don't be tryna double back
I already despise you
All that fake love you showin'
Couldn't even disguise you
(Yo, yo)
Ran? When? Nicki gettin' tan
Mirror mirror who's the fairest bitch in all the land?
Damn, man, this bitch is a Stan
Muah, muah, the generous queen will kiss a fan
Ass goodbye, I'mma be riding by
I'mma tell my ...Biggz, yeah that's the guy
A star's a star, da ha da ha
They never thought the swish god would take it this far
Get my pimp cup, this is pimp shit, baby
I only rock with Queens, so I'm makin' hits with Katy

[Katy Perry:]
Swish, swish, bish
Another one in the basket
And another one and another one
Can't touch this
Another one in the casket
And another one and another one

They know what is what
Do they know?
But they don't know what is what
They just know what is what
But they don't know what is what
They just know what is what
But they don't know what is what
They just strut
What the...

HUMBLE.

Page 797

I've met so many people in life that are full of SHIT.

Cant stand people who abuse their powers just because they have the rank or position to.

Taking advantage of others.

Who tf do you think you are?

Bitch, be HUMBLE.

It only goes a long way.

Make people respect you.

Not despise you.

The world would be a slightly better place to live in.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Kendrick Lamar - HUMBLE.

[Music video version:] Wicked or weakness, you gotta see this, waaaaay (yeah, yeah!)
[Regular version:] Nobody pray for me, it been that day for me, waaaaay (yeah, yeah!)

Aye, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances
Finesse a nigga with some counterfeits
But now I'm counting this
Parmesan where my accountant lives in fact I'm down at this
D'usśe with my boo bae, tastes like kool aid for the analysts
Girl, I can buy your ass the world with my paystub
Ooh that pussy good, won't you sit it on my taste bloods
I get way too petty once you let me do the extras
Pull up on your block, then break it down we playing Tetris
A.M. to the P.M., P.M. to the A.M. funk
Piss out your per diem you just gotta hate em, funk
If I quit your BM I still ride Mercedes, funk
If I quit this season I still be the greatest, funk
My left stroke just went viral
Right stroke put lil baby in a spiral
Soprano C, we like to keep it on a high note
It's levels to it, you and I know, bitch be humble

(Hol' up bitch) sit down,
(Hol' up lil bitch, hol' up, lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down (sit down hol' up lil bitch)
Be humble (bitch)
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up) bitch sit down
Lil bitch (hol' up lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up) be humble
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up lil bitch) sit down
(Hol' up lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down (hol' up sit down lil bitch)
(Sit down lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up lil bitch) bitch, sit down
(Hol' up lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up)

Who dat nigga thinking that he fronting on man man (man man)
Get the fuck off my stage, I'm the sandman (sandman)
Get the fuck off my dick, that ain't right
I make a play fucking up your whole life
I'm so fucking sick and tired of the Photoshop
Show me something natural like afro on Richard Pryor
Show me something natural like ass with some stretch marks
Still will take you down right on your mamma's couch in polo socks, aye
This shit way too crazy, aye
You do not amaze me, aye
I blew cool from AC, aye
Obama just paged me, aye
I don't fabricate it, aye
Most of ya'll be faking, aye
I stay modest bout it, aye
She elaborate it, aye
This that Grey Poupon, that Evian, that Ted Talk, aye
Watch my soul speak, you let the meds talk, aye
If I kill a nigga it won't be the alcohol, aye
I'm the realest nigga after all, bitch be humble

(Hol' up bitch) sit down,
(Hol' up lil bitch, hol' up, lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down (sit down hol' up lil bitch)
Be humble (bitch)
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up) bitch sit down
(Lil bitch) (hol' up lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up) be humble
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up lil bitch) sit down
(Hol' up lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down (hol' up sit down lil bitch)
(Sit down lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up lil bitch) bitch, sit down
(Hol' up lil bitch) be humble
(Hol' up bitch) sit down
(Hol' up, hol' up, hol' up, hol' up)

Bad At Love

Page 796

I felt the awkwardness sink in that night.

Still feeling a certain way about it.

Gosh.

Like as if I'm not.. worth it.

Makes me wonder.

All these encounters I have..

From time to time..

What do they mean to me?

Are they supposed to teach me something?

I used to take a lot out from it.

Now.. it's just.. empty.

Each time the feelings fade.

Everything just dies.

I don't know how to go by it anymore.

I'm just bad at this.

I'm bad at love.

And there's nothing I can do about it.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Halsey - Bad At Love

Got a boy back home in Michigan
And it tastes like Jack when I'm kissing him
So I told him that I never really liked his friends
Now he's gone and he's calling me a bitch again
There's a guy that lives in a garden state
And he told me that we'd make it 'til we graduate
So I told him that the music would be worth the wait
But he wants me in the kitchen with a dinner plate

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe
That we're meant to be
But jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
Get the best of me
Look, I don't mean to frustrate,
But I always make the same mistakes, yeah
Always make the same mistakes 'cause...

I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh
But you can't blame me for tryin'
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'
You were the one, ooh-ooh
That could finally fix me
Lookin' at my history
I'm bad at love

Got a girl with California eyes
And I thought that she could really be the one this time
But I never got the chance to make her mine
Because she fell in love with little thin white lines
London girl with an attitude
We never told no one but we look so cute
Both got way better things to do
But I always think about it when I'm riding through

I believe, I believe, I believe, I believe
That I'm in too deep
And jealousy, jealousy, jealousy, jealousy
Get the best in me
Look, I don't mean to frustrate,
But I always make the same mistakes, yeah
Always make the same mistakes 'cause...

I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh
But you can't blame me for tryin'
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'
You were the one, ooh-ooh
That could finally fix me
Lookin' at my history
I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh
Oh, you know, you know, you know, you know
I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh
I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh

I know that you're afraid
I'm gonna walk away
Each time the feeling fades
Each time the feeling fades
I know that you're afraid
I'm gonna walk away
Each time the feeling fades

You know I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh
But you can't blame me for tryin'
You know I'd be lyin' sayin'
You were the one, ooh-ooh
That could finally fix me
Lookin' at my history
I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh
Oh, you know, you know, you know, you know
I'm bad at love, ooh-ooh
Oh, oh

Happier

Page 795

WHAT A  GREAAAAAAT MONDAY.

Haha. 

Finally took a day off work.

Though it just keeps haunting you even if you're away..

Oh well.

I don't really care anymore..

Finally met up with my GF after more than 6 months!!!

That's crazzyyyyyy.

I missed our crazy antics.

And how we always do stupid things and laugh at each other.

Just someone I can open up to and be myself with.

Never a dull day with her hahaha.

Well she seems happier now.

And that's all that matters.

Till next time.

:)

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Ed Sheeran - Happier

Walking down 29th and park
I saw you in another's arms
Only a month we've been apart
You look happier

Saw you walk inside a bar
He said something to make you laugh
I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours
Yeah you look happier, you do

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody love you like I do
Promise that I will not take it personal baby
If you're moving on with someone new

Cause baby you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
And until then I'll smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you

Sat in the corner of the room
Everything's reminding me of you
Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier
Aren't you?

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you
But ain't nobody need you like I do
I know that there's others that deserve you
But my darling I am still in love with you

But I guess you look happier, you do
My friends told me one day I'll feel it too
I could try to smile to hide the truth
But I know I was happier with you

Baby you look happier, you do
I knew one day you'd fall for someone new
But if he breaks your heart like lovers do
Just know that I'll be waiting here for you