Jealous

Page 406

I laid in the bunk, staring blankly at the spaces above me. It was lights out. My earphones were on, and music therapy was ongoing, like it has been everyday. Music has been keeping me going. Keeping me strong, warm & loved. The double-decked bed started rocking a little as my Buddy climbed down. 

'Do you mind?' 

'Nope.' :)

And he laid by my side.

We talked. About the past. About our exes. We were different, but we had similar situations. We understood each other.

'If only you knew the truth.' I thought to myself.

Today I scrolled through an app.

And your face popped up.

'Looking for dates.'

I paused. It seemed like a very long pause. A tinge of jealousy. I envisioned somebody else... Someone new that took my place. And then I reminded myself that I shouldn't be caring anymore.

Back then, the thought of seeing you with another guy would kill me.

But now.. I guess I've accepted it.

I guess it'll have to happen.

We'll both move on eventually.

And deep down inside.

I'll die.. slowly.

Love, Eran.

This song says it all...

Current Song Mood: Labrinth - Jealous

I'm jealous of the rain
That falls upon your skin
It's closer than my hands have been
I'm jealous of the rain
I'm jealous of the wind
That ripples through your clothes
It's closer than your shadow
Oh, I'm jealous of the wind, cause

[Chorus:]
I wished you the best of
All this world could give
And I told you when you left me
There's nothing to forgive
But I always thought you'd come back, tell me all you found was
Heartbreak and misery
It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

I'm jealous of the nights
That I don't spend with you
I'm wondering who you lay next to
Oh, I'm jealous of the nights
I'm jealous of the love
Love that was in here
Gone for someone else to share
Oh, I'm jealous of the love, cause

[Chorus]

As I sink in the sand
Watch you slip through my hands
Oh, as I die here another day
Cause all I do is cry behind this smile

[Chorus]

It's hard for me to say, I'm jealous of the way
You're happy without me

Jealous

Page 143

I woke up like this. LOL.

Another lazy day. Feels like I'm wasting my weekends away. But I'd truly rather sit around doing nothing. Haha. Did some recording today. For the first time I sang with my brothers around in the house. Normally I'd wait till only my parents were home, or there was no one at all, because I don't want to create so much noise. (If I scream, I really do scream.) But I guess I wanted to release my 'Blank Space' cover before the excitement wears off. Heh. Check it out! https://soundcloud.com/eranistheone/blank-space-taylor-swift-cover

Sometimes I scroll through my Instagram and find so many good-looking guys, talented, able to sing. Then I look at myself and wonder.. will I ever be that good? I know it's bad to compare, but I do wish I was better at what I do. There's a constant need to improve myself. That's why I won't ever stop singing. Be my personal best. :)

Ah well. Tomorrow is the start of internship at another hospital. Never been to this one before, but I'm looking forward as the postings seem exciting, and I'm not alone in my shift anymore!! WOOHOO. AND I GET TO MEET GF TOMORROW :* muahmuah. ILY. Can't wait.

*flashback*

This hottie followed me on Instagram, then a few weeks later followed me on Twitter. We chatted, dmed, and this is how it went:

That night, I died inside. You gave me your number and I was seriously the happiest boy on earth. What were the chances that this would happen? I told my friends about you, show them your pics, and they immediately approved. But then you suddenly stopped texting me, no replies at all. Claimed you were busy and such, but I guess I never meant anything to you at all. All the sweet things you told me were just lies. I learned it the hard way. I got my hopes all high up, just to see it crashing down. 

I know it's been a while. And I'm really happy for you and your new guy. But I won't deny that deep down inside, I still get jealous. You never even gave me a chance.

Ps. This was the same person from my 'Glitter In The Air' post.

Love, Eran.

Cause you're too sexy & beautiful

And everybody wants a taste..

I still get jealous.

Current Song Mood: Nick Jonas - Jealous

I don’t like the way he’s looking at you
I’m starting to think you want him too
Am I crazy, have I lost ya?
Even though I know you love me, can’t help it

I turn my chin music up
And I’m puffing my chest
I’m getting red in the face
You can call me obsessed
It’s not your fault that they hover
I mean no disrespect
It’s my right to be hellish
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

I wish you didn’t have to post it all
I wish you’d save a little bit just for me
Protective or possessive, yeah
Call it passive or aggressive

I turn my chin music up
And I’m puffing my chest
I’m getting red in the face
You can call me obsessed
It’s not your fault that they hover
I mean no disrespect
It’s my right to be hellish
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

You’re the only one invited
I said there’s no one else for you
'Cause you know I get excited, yeah
When you get jealous too

I turn my chin music up
And I’m puffing my chest
I’m getting red in the face
You can call me obsessed
It’s not your fault that they hover
I mean no disrespect
It’s my right to be hellish
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

'Cause you’re too sexy, beautiful
And everybody wants a taste
That’s why (that’s why)
I still get jealous

Oh (that’s why)
I still get jealous
Oh (that’s why)
I still get jealous

S.H.