Marvin's Room

Page 32

I've seriously had enough. I'm tired of being too nice. We could've had SOMETHING. I've given you countless of chances. But you've just crossed the limit. You unfollowed me on Instagram a while ago - Okay fine, maybe I wasn't good looking enough for you. But then today I found out you unfollowed me on Twitter too?? Wow what a dick move.

Here's a sweet message for you:

FUCK. YOU.

Unfollowing you AND blocking you. No more chances. Think I'll be the one crawling back to you? Nah, fat hope. It's over. Oh, and whoever's dick you're sucking next, I hope it tastes better than mine did.

Bye.

_|_, Eran.

Current Song Mood: JoJo - Marvin's Room (Cover)

[Phone Call]
Hello? I'm out right now, just been drinking, Jack
What are you doing, I miss you
You wanna come over?
Oh who you with? Are you alone?

[Verse 1]
I've been up three days
Adderall and Redbull
This call is a mistake
There’s something strong in this water bottle
I hear you got a new chick
A dancing little Barbie doll
I feel so pathetic
But you still haven’t heard it all

[Chorus]
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me, I bet you like that
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her I know I’m in your head
(Are you drunk right now?)
I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
(You know I didn't mean that)
Once you had the best boy you can't do better
(You should come over, what are you doing?)
Baby I’m the best so you can’t do better

(oh ohhh ohhh oh ohhh)

(Right)

[Verse 2]
I ran into your homeboys
They’re all fucking idiots
You’re not even my boyfriend
But They're tripping cause I’m in the club
Yeah that’s right I’m dancing
And something cool is in my cup
I’ma send a sexy picture
To remind you what you’ve given up

[Chorus]
Fuck that new girl that you like so bad
She’s not crazy like me, I bet you like that
I said fuck that new girl that’s been in your bed
And when you’re in her I know I’m in your head
(Right)
I mean, I’m just saying you can do better
Always turned you out every time we were together
Once you had the best, boy, you can't do better
Baby, I’m the best so you can't do better
(Baby, I’m the best so you can't do better)

No, you can't do better
Right, yeah
Right

Bleeding Love

Page 31

Holaa :)

Just came back from a 2-days camp in school. I LOVE CAMPS. Haha. A big thank you to all my Yr 2 buddies that came down to support. Love you all so much <3

The turnout was disappointing on the first day. But the camp had to go on. We played ice breaking games, market games, watched a horror movie, and even went block catching! FUN FUN FUN. :)

The Excos and I placed our stuffs at the cca clubroom, which auto-locked at 10pm. Uhhh WRONG MOVE. We didn't know and went up at 10:03pm. LOL. Suey. ._. Had to sleep outside at the end like a bunch of hobos. Hahaha! Brought my sleeping bag for nothing. But it was fun getting high and singing dugong songs with them in the late hours of the night <3 Being out in the night wasn't scary at all. I loved it.

Next morning we played captain's ball, wet games and dirty games! Was a lot of FUNN getting wet and rolling in mud :D And I had powder on my head so I looked like some old guy ._. Curse yalll.

Look at how dirty we were! hahaha. I'm in front on the right.

It was a fun bonding with these people. :) Memories of my first FBC camp came back.. Back when I was going crazy over someone.. haha. Good times. Well I'm gonna be planning my own camp soon. Hope it can be successful and even better! Lets do thissss.

Love, Eran.

Another song that reminds me of you.

Current Song Mood: Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

Closed off from love
I didn't need the pain
Once or twice was enough
And it was all in vain
Time starts to pass
Before you know it you're frozen

But something happened
For the very first time with you
My heart melts into the ground
Found something true
And everyone's looking round
Thinking I'm going crazy
But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

Trying hard not to hear
But they talk so loud
Their piercing sounds fill my ears
Try to fill me with doubt
Yet I know that the goal
Is to keep me from falling

But nothing's greater than the rush that comes with your embrace
And in this world of loneliness
I see your face
Yet everyone around me
Thinks that I'm going crazy, maybe, maybe

But I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open

And it's draining all of me
Oh they find it hard to believe
I'll be wearing these scars
For everyone to see

I don't care what they say
I'm in love with you
They try to pull me away
But they don't know the truth
My heart's crippled by the vein
That I keep on closing
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I

Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
I keep bleeding
I keep, keep bleeding love
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love
You cut me open and I
Keep bleeding
Keep, keep bleeding love

Louder

Page 30

I feel extremely happy today. :) My Queen, my inspiration, my idol, Joanna Levesque (JoJo) has officially been released from her almost never-ending battle with her fucked up label, Blackground Records. AND she secretly signed to another label, Atlantic Records in December. See how fast she got snatched? That's how good she is. It's been 8 years since she's last released an album. And I'm so, really incredibly happy that she is free now. I cannot wait for the music she will release because I know it will be epic. Well done Jo. Well done TeamJoJo. We won this battle. :')

No more time to waste. The caged bird can finally spread her wings and share her wonderful voice again. :') New music this year AT LAST. 'Freedom' was the word that lingered in my mind the whole day. It was the word that came out for O Levels English Compo during my time. Freedom for Jo. Freedom to do what I love. Freedom to express myself. It's a really significant word to me. Freedom. How I long for it...

In other news - Lea Michele dropped her title track 'Louder' yesterday and its SO amazingly empowering. Yes. Meaningful music! So much positivity. I haveeee to cover it. It gives me an out-of-this-world experience. Chills. Feelings I've never felt before. 

Gonna be quite busy the next few days/weeks. Occupied with life but I've never felt better. :) Thank God. It's been a good day.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Lea Michele - Louder

Come out of the shadow

Step into the light

This could be the moment

Are you ready to fight?

Don't you know? You know?

You're not the only one

Why so low? So low?

What are you waiting for?

All I ever hear are whispers x2

But I just wanna, hear your voice

Don't be afraid

Why don't you scream a little louder?

Turn it up, I know you can

Come on and scream a little louder

Oh Oh Oh Why don't you scream a little louder?

Oh Oh Oh Why don't you scream a little louder?

Wanna be remembered?

Stand out of the crowd?

Don't choke on the fire

It's trynna burn you out

Why so low? So low?

What are you waiting for?

All I ever hear are whispers x2

But I just wanna, hear your voice

Don't be afraid

Why don't you scream a little louder?

Turn it up, I know you can

Come on and scream a little louder

Oh Oh Oh Why don't you scream a little louder?

Oh Oh Oh Why don't you scream a little louder?

Come out of the shadow

Step into the light

This could be the moment

It could change your life

All I ever hear are whispers

But I just wanna, hear your voice

Don't be afraid

Why don't you scream a little louder?

Turn it up, I know you can

Come on and scream a little louder

Oh Oh Oh why don't you scream a little louder?

Oh turn it up, I know you can

Why don't you scream a little louder?

Oh Oh Why don't you scream a little louder?

Breathe

Page 29

Haven't been blogging lately because I've been busy helping out at my school's Open House! The past 3 days have been fun,  welcoming people and also I got to be in charge of the music which I LOVE. Haha.. so suitable for me. Also got to perform!!! 3 freaking times hahaha. 

First was me and Ida singing 'Made In The USA' again. So awkward at first but then I just let it out. I didn't forget my words this time and Ida said that I controlled my voice better! So happy to hear that :) Belting out feels SO good. Some of my lecturers didn't expect that from me haha.

My second and third performance was on the last day. I first contacted Ryan and told him I wanted to perform with him :) He was cool about it and we did 'Grenade' together along with Raqib! They were SO nice. Such a cool moment but I forgot one line and I don't think my voice is cut out for rock hahaha. But oh well at least I got to do it!

My last performance was with a WHOLE BAND :) This time there was Zaki, Farah and Raqib. And also the Yr 3 girl which I don't know her name haha! Man, she saved my ass! Really thank her because I knew the song but I didn't know all the words and she helped to back me up. :) She was VERY professional and I enjoyed watching her perform! We sang 'Still Into You' which I didn't even get a chance to practice AT ALL. So impromptu hahaha and my hands were shaking while reading the lyrics from my phone. But hey, I had such a fun time and I finally got to do a PARAMORE song!!! :D And I've always wondered what it felt like to sing in a band! Unforgettable moment. I hope I get to do it again sometime, and be more prepared for it. :))

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I had an emotional breakdown today. I have this habit of just running to the toilet when I'm about to cry. And I just let it all out inside there. And nobody will know. I don't know why I'm so negative today. Like God hates me and I'm all alone. Everything is making me upset and everyone is pissing me off. It's just been a bad, bad, horrible day. Sigh.

Love, Eran.

This song means a whole lot to me. I used to play it whenever I had emotional breakdowns during Secondary School.

Current Song Mood: Paramore - Breathe

I climb, I slip, I fall
Reaching for your hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood
If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love
And I, I will

Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe there's another way

I climb, I slip, I fall
Reaching for your hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood

If I could find out how
To make you listen now
Because I'm starving for you here
With my undying love
And I, I will

Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe there's another way

Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause there's no hope for today
Breathe for love tomorrow
Cause maybe there's another way

I climb, I slip, I fall
Into your empty hands
But I lay here all alone
Sweating all your blood

All In My Head

Page 28

Back to schoooooool! Haha. Don't know why but I felt like a little kid today taking the public transport like it was the first day of school. My anxiety was acting up.. but I tried to maintain it anyway. If you know me well, I have anxiety issues when I'm out in public alone. Oh well. Had my swagger on and pulled through the day. Wasn't that bad. Missed my classmates so much. Idk why but I cracked some much jokes today hahaha.

After school, met up with Dan for our camp planning. Swear this guy will be the death of me LOLOL. In a good way of course. Had lots of LOLs with him. x) Looking forward for this week… to end haha. Hope whoever is reading this has a good week too. Muah :*

Love, Eran.

Sometimes I wonder if everything really happened, or I was just imagining it all…

Current Song Mood: Tori Kelly - All In My Head

I see you with her, and it crushes me inside,

I guess I should stop thinkin' about you all the time,

Maybe this is what I needed,

Maybe this is a sign,

Maybe I've been blind to reality, baby tell me...

Every little glance my way, everytime you wanted to hang,

You seemed so interested, could you tell me?

Was it real or was it all in my head?

Was it real or was it all in my head?

She's so pretty, you two look so great,

Time for me to move on now,

It was probably just a silly crush anyway,

But I just can't help but think..

That we.. we could have had something,

Have I really been blind to reality? Baby tell me...

Every little glance my way, every time you wanted to hang,

You seemed so interested, could you tell me?

Was it real or was it all in my head?

Was it real or was it all in my head?

Was it real or was it fake,

was it all a mistake?

Boy I just gotta know was it all in my head? All in my head,

Did you ever feel the same?

Was my mind just playing games?

Boy I just gotta know was it all in my head? All in my head...

Every little glance my way, everytime you wanted to hang,

You seemed so interested.. could you tell me?

was it real or was it all in my head?

Was it real or was it all in my head?

Happy

Page 27

Hello!  Spent my weekends by going on a movie marathon haha! Watched Zombieland, The Croods, Despicable Me 2 and Sucker Punch! So many movies to watch so little time. Hais. It's already the start of school tomorrow. Omg. Where did the time go… Oh well time to get occupied with school again. It's gonna be such a bore, but I'm excited to see my friends again. :)

Sometimes you cross my mind. I can't help it. But no.. I want to be happy.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Pharrell Williams - Happy

[Verse 1]
It might seem crazy what I’m 'bout to say
Sunshine she’s here, you can take a break
I'm a hot air balloon that could go to space
With the air, like I don’t care baby by the way
[Hook]
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you know what happiness is to you
Because I’m happy
Clap along if you feel like that’s what you wanna do

[Verse 2]
Here come bad news talking this and that
(Yeah!) Well, give me all you got, don’t hold it back
(Yeah!) Well, I should probably warn you I’ll be just fine
(Yeah!) No offense to you don’t waste your time
Here’s why...

[Hook]

[Bridge x2]
Bring me down
Can’t nothing bring me down
Your love is too high to bring me down
Can’t nothing bring me down
I said...

[Hook + Bridge + Hook]

Battlefield

Page 26

Today, I felt like me again. For real. It started when I was on my way back from Friday Prayers. I saw a group of Canberra kids coming out of the blocks, going back to school. I was like: 'Ah man better walk slowly and wait for them to clear.' ._.

Then when I walked past the block, I peered into the dark and saw a familiar figure coming out. Mr L. My Maths teacher during secondary school. :) Wow, I never knew how happy I was to see him again. I quickly went up to him with a big smile and shook his hand. I was so happy. We chatted. He asked me what I was doing. I told him I was in NP, doing Nursing. He asked was it what I wanted? I told him maybe I was gonna pursue other lanes related to it. I told him how much I missed secondary school. He laughed and smiled. I remember how he said that once we graduated, we're gonna miss secondary school life. And sure enough I did. Big time. I suddenly felt like I was 16 again, going to school, going to study for my O Levels. I had BIG dreams at that time. I was innocent and naive. That nostalgic feeling came back.. And I embraced it. We had to part ways after walking past the traffic light. I wanted to talk more, but oh well.. time didn't permit. 

*shakes hand*
''Bye Mr L. Nice to see you again. :)'' I said.
He smiled and walked off.

After that I went to RP. Went to see Ash hahaha. Long time no see la bro. AND WE DIDNT TAKE PICS oh well ._. We talked about life and school and then his friends A, F, & M came to join. :) A was really nice and a bit gila LOL. And she HAD to notice my eyelashes. ._. You'd think I'd have gotten used to it by now. F was humorous and easygoing :) While M was really an opinionated and outspoken person. Anyways they made me feel really welcomed hahaha. Went to help out at their school's booth for their upcoming Open House. All the time I was telling myself 'Ok Eran, you're an RP student now. You're from Aviation Management. You're from RP. You're from RP. Act like one.' LOL. It was interesting being in a different environment. I've always wondered what it would feel like. What kind of friends I would make. Sometimes I wish I could take a diff path. But I guess I am contented at where I am at now. :) It's been a good day.

Love, Eran.

Ps. I really wanna tell you everything. But I'm just afraid that you won't be able to take it. I'm afraid you can't handle the truth. Some things are better left unsaid.

Current Song Mood: Lea Michele - Battlefield

It's easy to fall in love
But it's so hard to break somebody's heart
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Once lust has turned to dust and all that's left's held breath
Forgotten who we first met
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

We both know it's coming
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie

You and I
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield

We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea

No blood will spill if we both get out now
Still it's hard to put the fire out
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield
Feelings are shifting like the tide
And I think too much about the future
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

We both know it's coming
Does illusion count for something we hide?
The surface tension's gotta break, one drop is all it takes to flood out this lie

You and I
We have to let each other go
We keep holding on but we both know
What seemed like a good idea has turned into a battlefield

Peace will come when one of us puts down the gun
Be strong for both of us
No please, don't run, don't run
Eye to eye, we face our fears unarmed on the battlefield

We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea
We seemed like a good idea