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I'm very upset. Something that I've been planning for a long time, something that I really loved doing, a golden opportunity, was taken away from me. Just like that.
I don't understand.. Ok, obviously my audition sucked, but to be not able to even get a second chance? It makes me feel like I'm not good enough. Like I'm not worth it. It f-cking sucks.
I love performing/singing. My close friends that are in the same year as me would know that very well. Even though my nerves take over and f-ck me up, I still want to do it. I still want to be on stage. I still want to express myself. Its a calling that I can never ever explain. A calling that makes me feel like I was born for this. Again, I've visioned myself performing this year on HS Day for a long time, and to not be able to do that just kills me. I'm used to rejection, but I'm not gonna tolerate it this time. Its my 3rd year, and I really wanted to make it really memorable for me. Now I can't anymore. I can't even fight for it. I can't do anything & i'm utterly helpless. Nobody will understand how much this means to me.
IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY SPECIAL MOMENT.
Looking back, I won't regret auditioning. Because its my f-cking passion. I f-cking tried.
You can keep a songbird locked up and prevent it from flying. But you can't stop it from singing.
Love, Eran.
I've had enough. You and your stupid excuses. We were supposed to be more than this. Just.. enough.
Current Song Mood: James Arthur - Supposed
I should've known better
Than to ever
Look to heaven questioning
Whether I've found it
Put it up, sounded
Better than it looked
Now I'm your friend
Yea, yea
I'm stuck in this dead end
And all these words, they come too late
You could never compensate
For this pain oh
I should've said it all when I was close to you
I should've said it all when I was close to you
Like I was supposed to do
Like I was supposed to do
I should've known better than to be pacified
Now you just pass me by
I'm stumbling through this life like a man with no sight
No sight
Yea, oh
Like a man that lost his fight
And all these words, they come too late
You could never compensate
For this pain
I should've said it all when I was close to you
I should've said it all when I was close to you
Like I was supposed to do
Like I was supposed to do
It's too late
The hands of fate
Oh the hands of fate yea
Just won't wait
No, it just won't wait
No, it just won't wait
Help me change
Help me change, help me change
It's too late
The hands of fate
Just won't wait
No, it just won't wait
No, it just won't wait
Help me change
Help me change, help me change
I should've said it all when I was close to you
I should've said it all when I was close to you
Like I was supposed to do
Like I was supposed to do
Oh like I was supposed to do
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