I Hate U I Love U

Page 564

The Departure

Finally. We were going home.

We took the bus in the morning to the ferry terminal where we took the same 3-hr ferry ride back to the mainland.

It was such an amazing feeling.

Watched a couple of movies, then I decided to go to the deck for some fresh air.

Buddy was there with a couple of his friends.

So was HZ, who apparently, managed to pass the course.

'Guess he'll make it after all' I mentally said as I observed him, being quiet & distant.

The breeze was amazing.

The feels to go back, was so real.

We got to the mainland, boarded the tour buses, and got introduced to the tour guides, whom were (no offence) Pinoys.

And I was amused at how they managed to relate everything about Brunei, to their country.

Had no idea if I was touring Brunei or the Philippines. Lmao.

Visited the Water Village where we (those fasting) had to watch them.. eat. Lol.

Visited the museum where we completely wasted time.

Then visited the mall which had.. absolutely nothing interesting.

Damn, my seniors were right about this place.

Legit didnt bother getting anything haha.

Just wanted to get back home.

We went back to JAC where they had dinner, then we prepared to go to the airport.

Upon reaching, gathered the fasting gang to some hidden canteen corner we had our dinner.

(Legit so cool, like we were treated like VIPs)

We were sooo full haha, didnt know there was so much food.

Shortly after that, we gathered back with the rest and boarded the plane.

Damn, the feels. 

<3

Looking back, I had no idea how I survived those 3 weeks. Honestly. It's been exhausting. The danger was real. The environment was real. The experience, was real. 

I'll never forget it.

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This superficial circle is getting too much.

I'm not gonna be waiting around on somebody that isn't even serious about me.

I've wasted enough time caring for people who don't care about me.

This year's all about self-love and I'm gonna put myself first.

Build myself up. Keep my circle of friends tight.

Because if I can't even do that for myself, then how am I gonna love others?

The only thing that I've gotten from this is nothing.

You're just stalling this relationship.

Whatever this is.

It's going nowhere, babe.

I hate u but I love u too.

And if you cant see that, then I'm sorry.

I'm. moving. on.

Love, Eran.

I'm always tired,

 but never of you.

Current Song Mood: Gnash - I Hate U I Love U

[Verse 1 - Olivia O'Brien:]
Feeling used
But I'm
Still missing you
And I can't
See the end of this
Just wanna feel your kiss
Against my lips
And now all this time
Is passing by
But I still can't seem to tell you why
It hurts me every time I see you
Realize how much I need you

[Hook - Olivia O'Brien:]
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

[Verse 2 - Gnash:]
I miss you when I can't sleep
Or right after coffee
Or right when I can't eat
I miss you in my front seat
Still got sand in my sweaters
From nights we don't remember
Do you miss me like I miss you?
Fucked around and got attached to you
Friends can break your heart too,
And I'm always tired but never of you
If I pulled a you on you, you wouldn't like that shit
I put this reel out, but you wouldn't bite that shit
I type a text but then I never mind that shit
I got these feelings but you never mind that shit
Oh oh, keep it on the low
You're still in love with me but your friends don't know
If you wanted me you would just say so
And if I were you, I would never let me go
I don't mean no harm
I just miss you on my arm
Wedding bells were just alarms
Caution tape around my heart
You ever wonder what we could have been?
You said you wouldn't and you fucking did
Lie to me, lie with me, get your fucking fix
Now all my drinks and all my feelings are all fucking mixed
Always missing people that I shouldn't be missing
Sometimes you gotta burn some bridges just to create some distance
I know that I control my thoughts and I should stop reminiscing
But I learned from my dad that it's good to have feelings
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Everyone I do right does me wrong
So every lonely night I sing this song

[Hook - Olivia O'Brien and Gnash:]
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her

[Bridge - Olivia O' Brien and Gnash:]
All alone I watch you watch her
Like she's the only girl you've ever seen
You don't care you never did
You don't give a damn about me
Yeah all alone I watch you watch her
She is the only thing you ever see
How is it you never notice
That you are slowly killing me

[Hook - Olivia O'Brien:]
I hate you, I love you,
I hate that I love you
Don't want to but I can't put nobody else above you
I hate you I love you
I hate that I want you
You want her, you need her
And I'll never be her