Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Used To Love You // I Bet You Don't Curse God

Page 558

The Ex.

Who would've thought?
That I'd be sitting here on this hard boulder.
In the smoking corner.
In the middle of the night.
Chatting with my Ex's ex.
I played it cool.
Trying to let it all sink in.
What a weirdly shocking revelation.
'This.. was this meant to happen?' I wondered.

'Oh... so you guys were together huh?'
'Yeah.'
'When?'
'Last year.'
'Oh.. Hah, must've gotten over me by then.'

Things felt awkward. Subjects changed.

'Well.. lets go somewhere quiet. If you're up for it.'
'Alright.'

Things didnt go as planned.
I went back to bunk late that night.
Feeling quite relieved.
Glad that I could get out of that.
I don't wanna  be in any way associated with anyone that way.
Never.
Even if I used to love you.
That's a thing of the past now.
I went to bed, feeling proud of myself. 
Knowing, I did the right thing.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

A sudden struck of realisation today.
As I was having my sahur during my 3-day cover.
I started appreciating all the little things.
The food.
The comfort.
The peace.
I wasnt worthy of all this.
I wasnt, and yet I was given all this.
I went back to 'bed' with so much guilt in me.
I want to change.
Change the past.
Change the monster that I've become right now.
Bet you only curse god, when you get challenged.
Bet you don't curse god, only when the good things happen.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood #1: Yuna Ft Jhene Aiko - Used To Love You

[Verse 1 - Yuna:]
I wonder if you think about me
Now that you're out there on your own
You made it seem so easy
I wanna be just like you
I wonder if your heart is healing
You're going out so often now
I see the boys are helping you out
Are they just like you?

[Pre-Chorus - Jhené Aiko:]
No regrets, no looking back now
Never left, you let me back down, no, no, no

[Chorus - Jhené Aiko:]
Used to love you, used to care
But no more
I used to love you, used to care
But no more
I used to love you, used to care
But no more
I'm better than before

[Verse 2 - Yuna:]
I can never understand why
I'm depending on a guy
To make me feel like I was special
I am special when am I
Keep running on in circles
I was such a slave for love
Now that I know better, I know better of my worth
I was young and I was foolish
Giving up my heart so easy to someone who didn't love me like I do
I was young and I was foolish
All I needed was my spirit and someone will come and love me like I do

[Pre-Chorus - Jhené Aiko:]
No regrets, no looking back now
Never left, you let me back down, no, no, no

[Chorus - Jhené Aiko:]
Used to love you, used to care
But no more
I used to love you, used to care
But no more
I used to love you, used to care
But no more
I'm better than before

[Bridge - Yuna:]
Used to love you
I used to love you
Used to love you
Used to love you
Used to love you

[Chorus - Jhené Aiko:]
Used to love you, used to care
But no more
I used to love you, used to care
But no more
I used to love you, used to care
But no more
I'm better than before

Current Song Mood #2: Christina Grimmie - I Bet You Don't Curse God


[Verse 1:]
I bet you don't curse God
When the doctor calls
With a stern voice and the test results
And he asks you to come in right away

I bet you don't curse God
When you're on a plane
In a turbulance, pourin' rain
And you're hoping that you'll make it out okay

[Pre-chorus:]
Everybody cries
We've all faked a smile
When your back's against the wall
And your hands are tied

[Chorus:]
There's pain, Life hurts
There's a thousand things
You think you don't deserve
All hope is lost
When You spend it all
And you just can't beat the odds
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God

[Verse 2:]
I bet you don't curse God
When your child is gone
And he ain't picking up the phone
And it's 2am on a Saturday in July

I bet you don't curse God
At your bottom line
And your credit cards are all declined
And you don't know where you're gonna sleep tonight

[Pre-chorus:]
Everybody cries
We've all faked a smile
When your back's against the wall
And your hands are tied

[Chorus:]
There's pain, Life hurts
There's a thousand things
You think you don't deserve
All hope is lost
When You spend it all
And you just can't beat the odds
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God

[Verse 3:]
I bet you don't curse God
When you're dying in bed
About to take your one last breath
And you're holding on before you say goodnight

[Chorus:]
There's pain, Life hurts
There's a thousand things
You think you don't deserve
When all hope is lost
When You spend it all
And you just can't beat the odds
I bet you don't curse God
I bet you don't curse God

I bet you don't curse God

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