Poor Heart

Page 559

The Rain/ColdFeet

3-days at a checkpoint. Great.

What a complete waste of time.

We took a bus to the area. And split up into 3 groups. Said goodbye to Ziq, and carried my heavy load all the way up. 

And when I said up, I meant high UUUUUUP.

This place was just as crazy as H3.

I struggled on the way up.

The officers did too.

By the time we got to our area, I dropped everything I had.

They set up the comms, and I rested.

It was awkward. As there were only 2 officers who stayed. 

While the rest who carried stores left.

For 3 days, it's just them and me. Great.

Before the Cadre left, he mentioned; 

'Be prepared guys. Gonna have heavy rain the next 3 nights.'

Great.

I set up my hammock. My shelter. Everything was perfectly done.

I was surprised at myself.

The other 2 decided to get creative. Chopping up trees. Making a 'table' for themselves.

They were super proud of their accomplishment. Me? I was just swaying in my hammock.

We had small talks, but I guess we knew we were on different frequencies.

Nightfall came. So did rainfall. It started at around 3pm. I missed dinner. Meh. didnt matter.

I was cozy in my hammock, under my shelter. Or so I thought.

Rainwater slowly dripped down the string, wetting my hammock bit by bit.

Soon, my whole back was wet.

'Greaaaat. Nvm Syah. It could be worse. '

And it did. The plastic bag that I placed under the shelter above me was gathering water. And eventually, it broke as I was half-asleep. Cold water poured down onto my face. 

FANTASTIC. I wanted to die that night.

Shivering cold till the next morning. I woke up, annoyed. Made myself breakfast. I was so wet.

And my feet were so cold. This place was really living up to its name.

Poor me. It's only the first night. My poor heart can't take this.

The second night.

I was expecting rain. But it didnt turn up. Luckily.

It got dark pretty fast over here, around 6pm+

I was pretty terrified of the dark.

I couldnt even see my freaking hands! That's how dark it was.

I couldnt tell if I was opening or closing my eyes.

The forest, was seriously like a different place at night.

The noisy crickets were singing non-stop.

Even louder than my music.

Leaves were rustling here and there.

I slept surprisingly well though.

I only woke up once.

When those two were cooking dinner in the dark.

I was eavesdropping on their conversations.

Not that I wanted to, they were just talking really loud.

Talking about their studies, family, how successful their parents were. How successful their girlfriends were. How they had a business to run. Their dreams. How rich they were. Typical.

I was quiet.

I started reflecting on my life.

Were my parents successful?

No.

What do they have? Compared to these people? Nothing.

Will I ever be successful then?

I will never know.

So many uncertainties.

I haven't even figured out what I wanna do after this.

Gosh.

So many things to sort out.

I was starting to regret listening to them.

I started plugging back my ears.

And returned to my own world of fantasy.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Today was pretty well spent.

Hopefully I get a spot this time.

It's getting closer to... that day.

I'm getting a little nervous.

The silence is deafening.

But if you really wanted to, you would've texted me by now right?

Yeah. I'd thought so.

Please don't hurt this poor heart anymore.

Love, Eran.

Current Song Mood: Yuna - Poor Heart

My poor, poor heart
I know you're tired of this all
I know I
I made the same mistakes a lot

I know you never make a sound
When you crash onto the ground
When I fall
For someone
I know I always let you down

But I'll never give up
Never giving up
Giving you up for love
For love

I'll never give up
Never giving up
Giving you up for love
For love

My poor, poor heart
I remember when you red
Now you're tough
Slowly turning into black

I know you never make a sound
Require in my hollow chest
When I yell at someone
You're louder than a breaking glass

But I'll never give up
Never giving up
Giving you up for love
For love

I'll never give up
Never giving up
Giving you up for love
For love

Giving you for love
You up for love

Are you thinking what I'm thinking
I think it's time for you to start beating again
For love
Are you feeling what I'm feeling
Should we go again
Go give another chance

For love, yeah, for love

But I'll never give up on you
Never giving up
Giving you up for love
For love

I'll never give up
Never giving up
Giving you up for love
For love